-- "Life is like a poker game. We live with the cards life dealt us. Some people are born with a royal flush. Others are born with a toilet flush." -- -me
It sucks when you have friends yet you are soooo alone. I am in a large community service group and there are a lot of people in it that would say they are my friend. Yet none of them realize how alone I am.
It sucks being 38 and not having a clue of how to date someone. It doesn't help that I didn't start looking until I was 35. It doesn't help when I find out that women who are single are single because they don't want to date. It doesn't help when the women I attract are married women. *laughs*
I asked my mom once why she didn't e-mail me much. She said it was because I sound so depressed. I snapped back that I am not depressed, I am lonely. There is a difference! I told her I sound depressed cause I have no one to talk to. She asked me what I meant and I told her that the only person I hear from is her. She thought other people talked to me. I told her no other than an occasional coworker at work. She was sorry and said she would write me more often then. But she doesn't cause she once again says I sound depressed. *laughs*
Things in my life should be good. I have a house that is paid off. I have a car that is paid off. I have a job (although it can be debated that my job is not good). I have friends with the community service group. Yet I have no one to talk to. And no one seems to notice.
I guess it doesn't help that I am good at hiding my feelings. People in real life think I am happy and social. They get shocked when I tell them I don't know how to find a date. That I don't own a cell phone. That I don't go on vacations. That I don't go shopping. Usually they then write me off as crazy and run away.
If they ask why I don't have a cell phone. I ask, who am I supposed to talk to? If they ask why I don't go on vacations. I ask, who am I supposed to go with? If they ask why I can't shop. I ask, where can I go where I won't see other couples walking hand in hand being happy together. Thank God for online shopping. Add to cart and ship to my front door. *laughs*
I hate going to bed crying. Or waking up throwing up. Or going to work and hiding in the stairwell. Or just staring at the ceiling fan at home.
I really hate getting in arguments with people who think depression and loneliness are the same thing. They tell me to go to a doctor and pick up some pills. I ask them if they know a doctor that is single and looking to date instead. *laughs*
You can't solve loneliness with pills. Sure, you can try to hide it by dulling your feelings but it doesn't solve that you don't have anyone to sit with and talk to and go out with and laugh with.
Everyone else goes out and gets a life. Everyone else goes on living and leaving me behind.
I'm a great person. I am someone that people love to hang out with when there is an event I am at. I love to make people laugh. I am interesting. And people tell me that I am very cute. But unfortunately people don't want to be around someone like that.
I went on a date with someone on a dating website this year. I wasn't sure about her before I met but we sat for 3 hours laughing and talking and I found we had a lot in common. I contacted her after the 1st date to see if she wanted to do something again. She finally responded that she had a great time, that I was very entertaining, that I made her laugh, that we had a lot in common... but that that was not what she was looking for. HUH????????
I guess that explains why I hear women complaining about the guy they are dating and how terrible he is and that he doesn't care about them. I guess if women only want to date guys who don't like conversations, who don't care about knowing things about the woman they are with, or who has nothing in common with them; then it ain't going to work out. But then those women will come crying to me. I will cheer them up. They will then run away again to find another guy they have nothing in common with and who hurts them. *laughs*
It really is a struggle each day knowing that each morning will be just like the one before.
People would miss me if I was gone. People would be sad to not have me around. People would be shocked that I felt so alone. Yet none of them would care until I was gone. I have told some people how things are. They will at first try to help but then they realize that the things they find fun are not what I find fun. Most people just say to go to a party and get drunk and have fun. But I don't drink and I am not fond about being around drunks. Plus the ones I know at the parties have a habit of getting drunk and then talking about all the people they have slept with. Something I don't have any interest in hearing about. But they won't notice. They will tell me I looked like I had a real fun time at the party. They don't even remember I spent it outside to avoid the conversation.
I guess it's good that I like to shock people. Nothing is more fun than talking to a very outgoing social person and telling them what it's like to be alone. They freak out.
But at least the birds in my backyard continue to come back to see me each day. OK, technically they come back for the bird food but I'll keep telling myself they are actually wanting to talk to me. *laughs*
Oh yeah, we now have Christmas and New Hells Day coming up soon. I hate these 2 holidays. And they happen within 7 days of each other. As the song goes, it's the most horrible time of the year.
I know I am preaching to the choir by posting on here but I was just bored and alone right now and decided to post.
Luckily I was off work today and didn't have to hear from 2 different people in my group whose wives just had babies last week.
I guess in the end, everyone can say I just need to get out there and meet people and I will have friends. But to meet people you have to know where the people are hiding. And then if you find people, you have to find people you fit in with. And since the people I fit in with are either already married, don't exist, or are too shy to leave their house; the odds are low of finding those people. *laughs*
-- "It used to not be as bad. Me, myself, and I all lived together. But unfortunately me and myself moved out and I was left all alone." -- -me
It sucks when you have friends yet you are soooo alone. I am in a large community service group and there are a lot of people in it that would say they are my friend. Yet none of them realize how alone I am.
It sucks being 38 and not having a clue of how to date someone. It doesn't help that I didn't start looking until I was 35. It doesn't help when I find out that women who are single are single because they don't want to date. It doesn't help when the women I attract are married women. *laughs*
I asked my mom once why she didn't e-mail me much. She said it was because I sound so depressed. I snapped back that I am not depressed, I am lonely. There is a difference! I told her I sound depressed cause I have no one to talk to. She asked me what I meant and I told her that the only person I hear from is her. She thought other people talked to me. I told her no other than an occasional coworker at work. She was sorry and said she would write me more often then. But she doesn't cause she once again says I sound depressed. *laughs*
Things in my life should be good. I have a house that is paid off. I have a car that is paid off. I have a job (although it can be debated that my job is not good). I have friends with the community service group. Yet I have no one to talk to. And no one seems to notice.
I guess it doesn't help that I am good at hiding my feelings. People in real life think I am happy and social. They get shocked when I tell them I don't know how to find a date. That I don't own a cell phone. That I don't go on vacations. That I don't go shopping. Usually they then write me off as crazy and run away.
If they ask why I don't have a cell phone. I ask, who am I supposed to talk to? If they ask why I don't go on vacations. I ask, who am I supposed to go with? If they ask why I can't shop. I ask, where can I go where I won't see other couples walking hand in hand being happy together. Thank God for online shopping. Add to cart and ship to my front door. *laughs*
I hate going to bed crying. Or waking up throwing up. Or going to work and hiding in the stairwell. Or just staring at the ceiling fan at home.
I really hate getting in arguments with people who think depression and loneliness are the same thing. They tell me to go to a doctor and pick up some pills. I ask them if they know a doctor that is single and looking to date instead. *laughs*
You can't solve loneliness with pills. Sure, you can try to hide it by dulling your feelings but it doesn't solve that you don't have anyone to sit with and talk to and go out with and laugh with.
Everyone else goes out and gets a life. Everyone else goes on living and leaving me behind.
I'm a great person. I am someone that people love to hang out with when there is an event I am at. I love to make people laugh. I am interesting. And people tell me that I am very cute. But unfortunately people don't want to be around someone like that.
I went on a date with someone on a dating website this year. I wasn't sure about her before I met but we sat for 3 hours laughing and talking and I found we had a lot in common. I contacted her after the 1st date to see if she wanted to do something again. She finally responded that she had a great time, that I was very entertaining, that I made her laugh, that we had a lot in common... but that that was not what she was looking for. HUH????????
I guess that explains why I hear women complaining about the guy they are dating and how terrible he is and that he doesn't care about them. I guess if women only want to date guys who don't like conversations, who don't care about knowing things about the woman they are with, or who has nothing in common with them; then it ain't going to work out. But then those women will come crying to me. I will cheer them up. They will then run away again to find another guy they have nothing in common with and who hurts them. *laughs*
It really is a struggle each day knowing that each morning will be just like the one before.
People would miss me if I was gone. People would be sad to not have me around. People would be shocked that I felt so alone. Yet none of them would care until I was gone. I have told some people how things are. They will at first try to help but then they realize that the things they find fun are not what I find fun. Most people just say to go to a party and get drunk and have fun. But I don't drink and I am not fond about being around drunks. Plus the ones I know at the parties have a habit of getting drunk and then talking about all the people they have slept with. Something I don't have any interest in hearing about. But they won't notice. They will tell me I looked like I had a real fun time at the party. They don't even remember I spent it outside to avoid the conversation.
I guess it's good that I like to shock people. Nothing is more fun than talking to a very outgoing social person and telling them what it's like to be alone. They freak out.
But at least the birds in my backyard continue to come back to see me each day. OK, technically they come back for the bird food but I'll keep telling myself they are actually wanting to talk to me. *laughs*
Oh yeah, we now have Christmas and New Hells Day coming up soon. I hate these 2 holidays. And they happen within 7 days of each other. As the song goes, it's the most horrible time of the year.
I know I am preaching to the choir by posting on here but I was just bored and alone right now and decided to post.
Luckily I was off work today and didn't have to hear from 2 different people in my group whose wives just had babies last week.
I guess in the end, everyone can say I just need to get out there and meet people and I will have friends. But to meet people you have to know where the people are hiding. And then if you find people, you have to find people you fit in with. And since the people I fit in with are either already married, don't exist, or are too shy to leave their house; the odds are low of finding those people. *laughs*
-- "It used to not be as bad. Me, myself, and I all lived together. But unfortunately me and myself moved out and I was left all alone." -- -me
