Sadness Around the Holidays

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Sci-Fi

Watcher
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
Dec 2, 2010
Messages
13,489
Reaction score
286
Location
Ontario, Canada
This has really been hitting me more this year then it has previous years. Over the past 8 years I've lost 4 relatives. An Aunt died 8 years ago in November, couple years later my Grandfather passed away, few years after him an Uncle passed in January or February can't quite remember the exact month, then last year my Grandmother passed away in January, it'll be a year soon. One of my Aunt's thinks we should be okay this year seeing as it seems that someone dies every couple years. The Aunt and Uncle weren't blood relatives, but they were two that I spent time with growing up. It's more that both my grandparents are gone now.

I try not to think about it, I try to just focus on work but I'm alone at work all day, and this time of the year it's not as busy. So I'm left to my own thoughts no matter what I'm doing. Coming on here and reading other posts helps but this place isn't a buzz of topics all day long. Go home I can forget about it while playing my game online with friends, but when there is downtime those thoughts come back.

Just wondering if anyone else goes through this too this time of year or has. Trying to keep it together at work is really hard to do. Can't wait until later when my part timer is in after school, he's very distracting, not always in a good way.
 
Sci-Fi said:
This has really been hitting me more this year then it has previous years. Over the past 8 years I've lost 4 relatives. An Aunt died 8 years ago in November, couple years later my Grandfather passed away, few years after him an Uncle passed in January or February can't quite remember the exact month, then last year my Grandmother passed away in January, it'll be a year soon. One of my Aunt's thinks we should be okay this year seeing as it seems that someone dies every couple years. The Aunt and Uncle weren't blood relatives, but they were two that I spent time with growing up. It's more that both my grandparents are gone now.

I try not to think about it, I try to just focus on work but I'm alone at work all day, and this time of the year it's not as busy. So I'm left to my own thoughts no matter what I'm doing. Coming on here and reading other posts helps but this place isn't a buzz of topics all day long. Go home I can forget about it while playing my game online with friends, but when there is downtime those thoughts come back.

Just wondering if anyone else goes through this too this time of year or has. Trying to keep it together at work is really hard to do. Can't wait until later when my part timer is in after school, he's very distracting, not always in a good way.

I am sorry for your losses, and yes Holiday time does seem to be the hardest.
Try to keep busy, buy your self something you love, and know that you are not alone, because you have us all here.

*hugs* for you.

 
I'm sorry, don't mean to be harsh, but it's normal. People die, it's to be expected.

Since you're not married, it can be harder even. Why don't you take this time in search of women who are single as well, there are bound to be many who feel lonely during this time of year as well. :p
 
Nolife Princess said:
I am sorry for your losses, and yes Holiday time does seem to be the hardest.
Try to keep busy, buy your self something you love, and know that you are not alone, because you have us all here.

*hugs* for you.

Thanks. I gotta stop doing that though, I just bought something for myself that I was really excited to find.

Oh thanks for the suggestion AK5, pray on a lonely vulnerable woman at Christmas time...well intended but I don't think that is a good idea. Plus then I'd have an extra person to cheer up and buy a gift for, I'm having a hard enough time with family as it is. I'm usually good at finding gifts.
 
I think it's normal to reflect on your dearly departed around the holidays. It's a tough time of the year for many reasons and it's when (in my opinion) we miss the ones we lost the most.

Sorry for your losses, and I hope you find the strength to get through the holidays with as little sadness as possible.

I celebrate January 2nd of every year. :) lol It's a huge relief to know that the holidays are over and it always seems like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders.
 
Not so much lamenting the loss of relatives but one of my biggest fears is being left alone with my thoughts especially at this time of year. Heck this time last year those same thoughts drove me close to ending things and I’m terrified of them.

Keeping busy helps, I’ve written before about volunteering but I also save up big DIY projects for the holidays simply so I have something to do during the time. Give me a tree to cut down or some sort of wardrobe to build and I’ll be happy since it serves as a distraction. I also stockpile entertainment, I’ve got a couple of movies kept aside to watch, some books, a video game and treated myself to some luxurious chocolates as a treat for surviving another year. Plus I go into workout overdrive during the New Year so that keeps me occupied then as well.

Keep strong brother, it will be hard at times but you’ll get through this one.
 
Lol, vulnerable, if your doing it with bad intentions (I hope not lol) then don't. If you're a single guy looking for a single woman, then I find it an interesting time to meet someone and fall in love.
 
Ak5 said:
Lol, vulnerable, if your doing it with bad intentions (I hope not lol) then don't. If you're a single guy looking for a single woman, then I find it an interesting time to meet someone and fall in love.

lol! Agreed. It seems to me that the one doing the asking is the vulnerable one of the two.
On that note....
I had a pretty funny conversation is passing:
Now I've been wearing my jacket for a few months now.
Ken, the older gent that works the day shift, tells me, "You'd better wear your coat tomorrow".
"Why?", I asked with a puzzled look. Ken answers,
" 'Cause tomorrow is the first day of winter."
 
My mom died suddenly one Christmas,and she couldn't be buried until the new year,but for my kid's sake we still had to get through Christmas.That was 22 years ago,and Christmas has never been the same since.You can't make the anniversary of the the death of somebody close to you move to another time of year.
 
If I dwell too long on memories that my troubled mind conjours up I will go numb, and close in on myself. Last summer after Dad died I sat on the beach looking into a void of nothing but sea; the horizon was blurred with inconsolable tears.

Martin found me hours later. I was almost catatonic with grief. He picked me up and carried me home where I cried myself to sleep in his arms. He later suggested I keep myself busy, only it's not always easy to do when one is tired.

And it is this troubled state of mind that is easy to fall into, yet so hard to climb out of. Our loved ones who have passed away would never want us to be unhappy, though would understand why we need to grieve not only because we loved them, but because they grieved for loved ones before us. Your loved one would have you happy when you go on holiday, so all I can say is carry their memory in your heart and while on vacation, talk to them as if they were beside you. And that is what I still do when away on a cruise or walking a lonely beach, talking to Dad because I know he is listening; he will always listen to his little mouse as surely as your loved ones will listen to you.


I am sorry for your loss, but we are told time is a great healer.


 
Lost Drifter said:
Keeping busy helps, I’ve written before about volunteering but I also save up big DIY projects for the holidays simply so I have something to do during the time. Give me a tree to cut down or some sort of wardrobe to build and I’ll be happy since it serves as a distraction. I also stockpile entertainment, I’ve got a couple of movies kept aside to watch, some books, a video game and treated myself to some luxurious chocolates as a treat for surviving another year. Plus I go into workout overdrive during the New Year so that keeps me occupied then as well.

A usefull strategy, I used to do similar stuff when I was out of work. Now I'll be at work for most of the xmas holidays so I'll be kept busy. But I still have days when I feel down and can't stand all the happy people around me.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top