Why Can't I Be Social In Real Life?

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AFrozenSoul

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So another babbling nonsense post by me. Feel free to ignore it or keep reading.

So today I was playing SWTOR. I grouped up with some people to play a few quests. We spent a lot of time running around killing things and doing stuff. It was a lot of fun. Two people who I just randomly met. I played with them for about... I want to say 2 hours. Anyway once I logged off I kind of had a nagging thought.

Why am I not able to be open and out going in real life? I know the internet offers us a certain level of anonymity. However, why is it so hard to transfer that out going nature to real life? Seriously, why do I have to struggle to be out going? I know I am capable of being a socially normal person. The fact that I can do it while playing a game proves it. Hell going on forums proves it as well. Yet when I go out into the real world. I freak out and do my best to get away from it.

How can I change that?
 
AFrozenSoul said:
I freak out and do my best to get away from it.

How can I change that?

Part of it is just that. You are nervous or freak out, and that conveys to the people you speak to also be more nervous.

More specifically, though, is a lack of common ground. What did the game offer you in specific? Something in common to do. If you join a club or the like centered around an activity, most likely you'll make the same kind of friends in real life - essentially a willingness and a shared interest.
 
I feel the same way man. I talk with people online while playing video games a lot and feel like a relatively normal person in those moments haha. But socializing in real life is really hard for me as well.
 
First of all, you're playing SWTOR? I plan on playing it when I get back home. :D (Is it good? :p)

Anyway, I know all too much what you mean. It's easier online cause the person can't read your face or talk to you. Therefore, you can come out completely different online than in real life. The hard part is in breaking down your "comfort zone" in real life, but after that it'll be a breeze.
 
It's really weird how people handle the different worlds we live in.
There is the real world. People interact in person. Physically face to face. Could be with people you know. Could be with people you don't know.
I shut down in the real world. I shy away to the back corner and just watch other people. I can talk to guys whether I know them or not. I can only talk to females that I already know. If I don't know the person then she has to talk to me first. If she is very attractive then I will go into hiding and no one will find me until it's safe to come back out.

There there are the other worlds.
There is the phone world where people can talk for hours with each other. These days with cell phones, you can add in texting.
I don't own a cell phone so I am out of texting. Over the recent years, I have gotten where I can talk on the phone with someone. Back when i was younger up through some time after college, I literally could not talk on a phone. I would have a panic attack.

There there is the internet world. It is in this world that I can talk to anyone. I don't care who you are, I have no fear of contacting the person. I can spend hours talking to someone I don't even know. Unfortunately the days of the internet have gone away. People moved on to cell phones and left us internet people in the dust.
 
Ak5 said:
First of all, you're playing SWTOR? I plan on playing it when I get back home. :D (Is it good? :p)

Anyway, I know all too much what you mean. It's easier online cause the person can't read your face or talk to you. Therefore, you can come out completely different online than in real life. The hard part is in breaking down your "comfort zone" in real life, but after that it'll be a breeze.

It's pretty good ;)
 
@IgnoredOne: Actually, I did try that. A while ago, I joined an anime club. To be honest I felt more out of place there than I did in a bar or something place else. It is kind of weird, but I feel more out of place in my comfort zones.
[/i]

@Ak5: I have enjoyed the game. Between the beta tests and the actual game. I have sunk probably close to 90 hours into it. I think they keep the Europe and USA servers separate. See if you can find a server call Naddist Rebels. That is the server I currently play on. If you can find that server, let me know. I will tell you my character names and classes.

Yeah I know what you mean about the net. I also don't have to reply quickly on the net either. I can take my time and create my answers.
 
IgnoredOne said:
AFrozenSoul said:
I freak out and do my best to get away from it.

How can I change that?

Part of it is just that. You are nervous or freak out, and that conveys to the people you speak to also be more nervous.

More specifically, though, is a lack of common ground. What did the game offer you in specific? Something in common to do. If you join a club or the like centered around an activity, most likely you'll make the same kind of friends in real life - essentially a willingness and a shared interest.

I agree.
 
Simple body exposure or lack of.
When i isolated, i was actively still surfacing the net.
Physically, I was still along stairing at a screen.
My body had little to no human
Interactions.
Upon returning to work, i wanted to vommit.
I ALREADY KNEW MY CO WORKERS AND STILL
WANTED TO VOMMIT.THESE WERE BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN. IT DIDNT MATTER...MY BODY
HAD ADJUSTED TO ISOLATIONS.


THE SAME PROCESS HAPPENS WHEN YOU
LIVE WITH SOMEONE.
MY BODY BECOMES ATTACHED TO
MY FIANCE'S. WE SLEEP IN THE SAME
BED. A LOT OF BODY CONTACTS.
MY BODY ADJUSTED TO THAT.
MY BODY GOSE THROUGH WITHDRAWS
WHEN IM WITHOUT HER BECAUSE IT WAS
EXPOSED TO HERS 24 / 7.

I wasn't like that ( isolations)...
I knew what i had to do upon
returning to an active life.

I basically attended my support
Groups meetings every day
I didn't say much..
I just lay on a couch during
Meetings.lmao
i was doing therapy for my body.lol
i already knew most of those people.
it took around 2 months for


2 months for my body to readjust
To human interactions again.
 

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