Low Self-esteem ruining my day

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D

Desolation

Guest
It's my birthday today, and like all my birthday's I'm not planning to do anything. However this year, an old friend has invited me to his birthday party (maybe out of pity). Of course at first this cheered me up and lifted me somewhat out of my depression. I have NEVER been invited to a party in my life so I was excited about that.

However, its seems that my low self-esteem/shyness is getting me depressed again. I'm no good at meeting new people and the very thought makes me nervous. Now I seem to be sliding back into depression. I realised last night that apart from the friend who invited me, there is exactly one other friend who be there. That thought alone depresses me. I've also been having "Obsessive, Worrying and Negative Thoughts" all the time about this which only makes it worse. I know some "acquaintances" who are going but they have their own friends.

Why can't I be happy at this opportunity to meet new people? Why am I so afraid of meeting new people? I wish I new the answers to these questions. Maybe my only hope is to get completely drunk so I forget about it.
 
happy bday des
no
drunk just makes everything worse... try 2 work it out some other way
 
Yeah... drinking does not solve everything. Maybe you can start first by facing your fears. Go to the party and enjoy yourself. You deserve it =)
 
I used to like meeting people, but the fact that I'm so invisible at parties made me depressed and reclusive. Even though it's nice when you get invited to a party, it really wrecks your ego if no one there cares to talk to you. Parties are awesome if you know a lot of people and you're having a great time, but if you don't know anyone and you're just sitting there by yourself it is worse than sitting home alone in front of the computer because you feel like you're such a loser in front of everyone. So my fallback was to get drunk and I usually did. When I'm drunk I'm more open and I don't care about what other people think...so I have more fun that way. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, that's just how I deal with the situation. I would never do anything dumb while I'm drunk anyway so it's not harming anyone. And if I'm really depressed I will just down a Long Island and then all my troubles go away :)

Happy Bday.
 

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