Who has been told you are unatractive?

Just wondering if anyone else is routinely told they are unattractive? I went out with someone for a couple of months and then was told she just wasn't attracted to me. She loved my personality, but wanted me in a "Size 36". :club:

Then yesterday, I emailed someone off match.com using a "hidden message" in her profile. We exchanged a few emails and seemed to hit it off. When I finally sent her a link to my profile that was the last I heard of her.

Personally, I find that the whole perception that women don't care about looks as much as men is a crock.

.....Everyone is beautiful, everyone!! to have someone tell you are not attractive is crappy on their part.. how insensitive, and shallow.

Don't think all men/women are like that!! I would so date a 'guy that was not "holly wood gorgeous" for a GRAND personality! cause in the long run... good looks go... but a fine personality will stay till the end.

*HUGGIES* to you sugar.
kisses too (
xoxo

Well it's a common thread in my social life. E-Harmony free weekend....emailed four people and after I sent pictures that was the end of any further communication. It's hard not to equate things like this with being generally unattractive.

Match.com - 6 months, one reply to emails or winks who turned out to be a serial dater who went out with anyone for free dinners
POF - 9 months and not a single reply to any emails

Being alone over the holidays just kind of made me put things into perspective.

I go on plenty of fish... Im fed up,

I send say 10 emails a day & i might be lucky to get one reply

Girls do go on looks, pathetic and stuck up the girls on there...

It's really the only in your face part about you that's on a dating site. Sure your profile might look nice too, but it is essentially asking your own opinion of yourself which can be skewed in either direction. So they don't really get to see the "good personality" you might have, since it's hard to display it there.

I wont lie that looks play a part in attracting most women, but also with most men. I also agree that people, in both genders are not always so shallow to just go with someone by their looks. It's not ironic. What makes it possible is one thing that most people often forget. Which is situation. When you as a person is looking for a romantic partner, your most immediate information that can get about a person is their looks, so it's only understandable that looks play a role. But that's the thing, when you are ''looking'' for a partner, it's not always the best situation to find someone for a long term relationship. It may work for some, though. So in most dating sites or clubs or whatever places people go to look for someone (a hook-up or a real partner), people would almost always rely on physical preference to find a suitable date. But for example, you are in a place where you are not necessarily looking for date or partner, like school, office, supermarket, gym, park, candy store etc. etc. You are open to get to know everyone. You are just having fun hoping to bump in someone. That's when you get the chance to know people in a deeper way than first impressions. so the unattractive guy or girl would eventually become beautiful in your eyes because of their personalities or how they carry themselves or just due to the magic of chemistry.

I think another thing most people often forget as well is the power of meant to be's. sometimes things just happen because they need to happen and there's no other way for them to not to happen. Sometimes, you just find someone, sometimes you don't, sometimes you think you won't but out of the blue comes the person you'd fall in love with. If you are not the kind of person who believes in meat to be, then be the person who would let him/herself be open to new opportunities. Opportunities to find and get to know people in a deeper way, whether as friends or as romantic partner. It's your best way to find someone for you to love, to be out there with an open mind and heart. Co's whether you are looking for a friend or a partner, you'd always surely have to do one thing, to get to know that person as friends, romance may come after, before, or during.

I think there has to be some level of attraction. For me the person has to have good hygiene. I'm not as worried about physical attributes as I am about someone smelling and looking clean.

Then again I am somewhat different from most woman, when a guy has the guts to ask me on a date I will never turn him down because you never know when you can hit it off with someone. I figure one date won't hurt anything and I know that if it was me asking a guy out I'd want him to give me a chance as well. After the first date if there just wasn't a connection than at least we tried and maybe we can be friends.

I've been in the same situation with online dating where a guy has stopped talking to me after exchanging more pictures and if someone wants to not even give an explanation than that's their loss. You'll find someone who finds you attractive and realizes how great of a catch you are

Numerous times.

Just got more "Thanks, but no thanks" from people on Match.com. LOL Oh well, maybe someday.

People say a lot of things. All your life, you'll meet people telling you bad things about yourself. It's important to question the value of the person who said that, and why you give so much credit to their opinion.

All through my early-mid teens girls told me how unattractive I was (without me even wanting their opinion!) and it really smashed my self-confidence even to this day.

For some reason, I still feel like I don't "deserve" to have a girl in my life. It's odd, I can't explain it well.

Whenever I open up to a girl I feel like I'm just exposing part of me that they can crush, so I think treatment like that is quite damaging.

Since then I've lost a lot of weight, but really I'm still the same person. Now I've had the opposite treatment a couple of times - girls saying nice or provocative things to me with no prompting.

So I think there are always some girls and guys who are shallow when it comes to physical attributes - fortunately that's something that everyone can work on with a bit of dedication

I'd say that there have been girls that have always been nice to me though, possibly even romantically interested, even when I was overweight in the past.

So I think ultimately the people you don't want to have a relationship with weed themselves out by being unkind or immature with insults or snubs like that.

I know my big problem is confidence.

Don't let anything anyone says bring you down. Accept the compliments, ignore the insults or rejections. I think it's good to feel confident however you look and know that you can always improve on it if you put your mind to it. Also realise that people who matter will see you for you as well, not the physical appearance only ^^

to be honest, i don't think anyone has every called me unattractive, at least not out-loud. but then the only place I've tried asking people out is on dating sites so they just don't respond back instead of saying what they think.

i have been unfortunate in being called "cute" a whole bunch when I was in my 20's.

I'm sure most of us have heard something along those lines by one person or another. My own mother wanted to get me plastic surgery, and I'm always hearing comments about my weight, frizzy hair, whatever.

But you know, the nose my mom hated has been called cute by others. I once had a woman ask if I'd consider selling her my hair for a wig, because she thought it was so beautiful. A few gentlemen have told me they loved my curves, and one even encouraged me to gain a few pounds.

People are attracted to different things, and I don't think there's a person out there that EVERYBODY would say is ugly.

nerdygirl said:

I'm sure most of us have heard something along those lines by one person or another. My own mother wanted to get me plastic surgery, and I'm always hearing comments about my weight, frizzy hair, whatever.

But you know, the nose my mom hated has been called cute by others. I once had a woman ask if I'd consider selling her my hair for a wig, because she thought it was so beautiful. A few gentlemen have told me they loved my curves, and one even encouraged me to gain a few pounds.

People are attracted to different things, and I don't think there's a person out there that EVERYBODY would say is ugly.

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I think this is the perfect answer nerdygirl!

A large-ish girl in my elementary school said roughly; "I'm fat, you're ugly. I can go on a diet, what can you do?"
I think it has stuck with me since then :-O

tusk said:

A large-ish girl in my elementary school said roughly; "I'm fat, you're ugly. I can go on a diet, what can you do?"
I think it has stuck with me since then :-O

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Well you can outrun her for starters.....

Pezza said:

tusk said:

A large-ish girl in my elementary school said roughly; "I'm fat, you're ugly. I can go on a diet, what can you do?"
I think it has stuck with me since then :-O

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Well you can outrun her for starters.....

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Kudos to the stalwart reply Pezza!
To follow the general line of the thread, I have also been considered and dismissed by my "looks" by a multitude of women. All it takes though is to find someone who finds something they like about you as a physical attraction and wham! You got yourself a date! Someone out there has a, pardon the expression, fetish or liking to something you have, and you need only find one of those people.

It's a shame that there isn't a fetish for lonely people...

Well folks, I turned around and the guy in the mirror said " nice hair dude, looks like something Lyle Lovett would rock". I promptly told him to f**k off and took a shower.

What a jerk!:club: