A
Arsenic Queen
Guest
My 3 greatest fears. What about you?
Something tells me most of us here have a rather hard time handling either rejection, failures, humiliations, or all of these things.
Care to share? How do you handle rejection? Failures? Humiliations?
I'll start. My papers say I am a professional artist. My wallet and self-esteem are still waiting for a serious proof of it. Something inside me believes the day I'll get paid decently for my art will be the day I'll get proven, out of doubt, that I can make it.
My "family" always wanted me to become big, and I'm still such a loser. I learnt such a hell of a big lot of things, studied MANY subjects, in school and books; but yet no true profession worth mentioning. Not much money coming in, not much power. When people ask me what I am, I can say "I'm a professional graphic designer", I have the papers to prove it. But when they ask "Where?", I still got nothing to say to them. I don't exist on the map. Billie Lith, creator of Sims 2 custom content? Lith Designs? None of that is worth a freaking dime.
Arts is probably one of the most fertile grounds for rejections, failures and humiliations. Romance is another. I've tried and failed both miserably so many times in the last 5 years. And they've been my main voids, main goals-to-attain, main things-I-need-to-achieve-to-feel-complete for so long. Often floating in uncertainty. Every time in the last 5 years, high hopes ending in deep defeats; they either disappointed me, rejected me or both.
I suppose I did not just fail on either sides in my life, and "should be happy" about it; but I've once read hurtful events get printed 10 times brighter in your memory than good events... in my case the good events are so rare, so few and far between, and the pain already present is like a pool of lava under the surface of my "Let's keep going and let's appear like everything is OK" mask.
For the record, I've been very happy last weekend. And now I feel like walking on a thin line in the middle of a large pool of lava. It's all or nothing. Difficult. Unbearable. I wish I could just be "fine", and "in the middle", and not worry so much, no matter how things end up. But apparently I forgot how.
So I tried to say how I feel with rejection, failures, humiliations. I am not sure if I've been clear or on-topic, it's like a knot of mixed emotions inside me about it, so it makes it difficult to speak up.
Your turn. What is the context in which you feel rejected the most? How do you handle it? Where do you feel you fail the most? Get humiliated the most? And more importantly, how do you survive? How do you cope with it? What makes you keep going?
I invite everyone to speak up. This thread is for all.
Something tells me most of us here have a rather hard time handling either rejection, failures, humiliations, or all of these things.
Care to share? How do you handle rejection? Failures? Humiliations?
I'll start. My papers say I am a professional artist. My wallet and self-esteem are still waiting for a serious proof of it. Something inside me believes the day I'll get paid decently for my art will be the day I'll get proven, out of doubt, that I can make it.
My "family" always wanted me to become big, and I'm still such a loser. I learnt such a hell of a big lot of things, studied MANY subjects, in school and books; but yet no true profession worth mentioning. Not much money coming in, not much power. When people ask me what I am, I can say "I'm a professional graphic designer", I have the papers to prove it. But when they ask "Where?", I still got nothing to say to them. I don't exist on the map. Billie Lith, creator of Sims 2 custom content? Lith Designs? None of that is worth a freaking dime.
Arts is probably one of the most fertile grounds for rejections, failures and humiliations. Romance is another. I've tried and failed both miserably so many times in the last 5 years. And they've been my main voids, main goals-to-attain, main things-I-need-to-achieve-to-feel-complete for so long. Often floating in uncertainty. Every time in the last 5 years, high hopes ending in deep defeats; they either disappointed me, rejected me or both.
I suppose I did not just fail on either sides in my life, and "should be happy" about it; but I've once read hurtful events get printed 10 times brighter in your memory than good events... in my case the good events are so rare, so few and far between, and the pain already present is like a pool of lava under the surface of my "Let's keep going and let's appear like everything is OK" mask.
For the record, I've been very happy last weekend. And now I feel like walking on a thin line in the middle of a large pool of lava. It's all or nothing. Difficult. Unbearable. I wish I could just be "fine", and "in the middle", and not worry so much, no matter how things end up. But apparently I forgot how.
So I tried to say how I feel with rejection, failures, humiliations. I am not sure if I've been clear or on-topic, it's like a knot of mixed emotions inside me about it, so it makes it difficult to speak up.
Your turn. What is the context in which you feel rejected the most? How do you handle it? Where do you feel you fail the most? Get humiliated the most? And more importantly, how do you survive? How do you cope with it? What makes you keep going?
I invite everyone to speak up. This thread is for all.