Avoiding Friendship Opportunity

I don't know about you guys, but I don't have to be lonely.

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

I regret all the waste opportunity because of my social anxiety. I just can't open the door for some **** reason and be extremely happy to find more good friends, who can be a lifelong friend if only I wasn't so afraid.

I look at myself in the mirror, and don't know what I fear?

Guess I'll always be alone then

GOD I hate my forsaken life

*hugs Chris 2 over the internet*

I know it can be hard

I take medication for anxiety, that i've had since i was like 8

I've always been afraid of looking stupid, and i always seem to have the worst luck, twice i've gotten sick at social event, once i didn't make it toilet and just threw up in their bathtub. so i'm still scared, because I'm afraid of coming down with a sickness, i would also be terrifyed of traveling incase i got some kind of horrible diease and not being able to get to a hospital.

And sometimes even with the medication i still wake up with extremely trembling hands, being absolutly terrified of something but i didn't know why. That made things worse because i thought there would be something fataly wrong with me.

Now i know what it is i'm usally able to ignore it and just wait for it to pass, and i'm able to know that i'm alright and remain calm.

But if you do find people you want to be friends with, try to tell them that it's not that you're not interested in being friends, that your scared and they are usally really understanding and maybe just invite a few people over to your house and just watch some good movies so you can become more comfortable with them.

I hope that helped

*fluffy kitties*

ef91: did you just...send fluffy kitties over the INTERNET? that's..... incredible.
also, good advice. i agree.

i think you'd be surprised at how many people are scared of meeting new people. it's tough developing friendships from scratch.

I'm one big walking defence mechanism.

So I'm alone either by choice or rejection. Choose to not talk to them, or, talk, and get rejected.

Usually, I make the choice of how I'd rather be alone, based upon my mood at the moment.

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

Click to expand...

Do you have a roommate ?

Chris-Sabian said:

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

Click to expand...

Do you have a roommate ?

Click to expand...

Yeah, but he thought I was really weird, so he moved out

Chris 2 said:

I don't know about you guys, but I don't have to be lonely.

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

I regret all the waste opportunity because of my social anxiety. I just can't open the door for some **** reason and be extremely happy to find more good friends, who can be a lifelong friend if only I wasn't so afraid.

I look at myself in the mirror, and don't know what I fear?

Guess I'll always be alone then

GOD I hate my forsaken life

Click to expand...

Hmm, I probably won't know what it's like to be this way. But you do want the friends that you mentioned who wants to befriend you right? Maybe start with a hi? Or some small talk..

I think it's possible to fight social anxiety. Tough in certain cases but possible. Just don't give up. And that fear..probably fear of rejection?Well I used to feel that way..and that's when I didn't like meeting new people. But I overcame it.

Really hope things will work out for you.

Chris 2 said:

I don't know about you guys, but I don't have to be lonely.

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

I regret all the waste opportunity because of my social anxiety. I just can't open the door for some **** reason and be extremely happy to find more good friends, who can be a lifelong friend if only I wasn't so afraid.

I look at myself in the mirror, and don't know what I fear?

Guess I'll always be alone then

GOD I hate my forsaken life

Click to expand...

Chris! In a hundred years we'll all be dead!! Think of life as the temporary..beautiful thing it really is!! So don't miss anymore opportunities..live while you can. People that are dying everday in hospitals..and nursing homes..or in war..would trade places with you in a heartbeat!! Stop crummudging!!! (Arianna language) And go make life happen.

Yeah, but he thought I was really weird, so he moved outSad

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Did he tell you that ? You know Dorms are a place where people come in and come out like in a mill.


The good point is you got a room for yourself

Chris-Sabian said:

Yeah, but he thought I was really weird, so he moved outSad

Click to expand...

Did he tell you that ? You know Dorms are a place where people come in and come out like in a mill.


The good point is you got a room for yourself

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Yes and Yes

I love having my own room!

Chris

If you want to have friends and the social anxiety is keeping you from making friends , why don't you seek help for the anxiety?

Have you seen a therapist or a dr. for this? I know personally that it can get better. There are a lot of good books on this also.

If you don't do anything for this it can get worse. You are learning to cope by AVOIDING. Avoiding people and social situations. This works in a way but is it healthy? It's keeping you isolated.

Hey if you don't want any friends, than cool , keep to yourself. Or maybe you don't feel like working on it. But if its holding you back, it can be addressed. It's fear. Any fear we have and avoid , grows bigger in our minds. It's all in how we look at it.

Hey good luck. At least you have people that are seeking you out. That 's flattering. Nice to know that others are interested in you.

Chris 2 said:

I don't know about you guys, but I don't have to be lonely.

The sad truth is...people do want to be my friend. They would knock on my door but I would be too afraid to answer them. After a months or so, they simply ignore me.

I regret all the waste opportunity because of my social anxiety. I just can't open the door for some **** reason and be extremely happy to find more good friends, who can be a lifelong friend if only I wasn't so afraid.

I look at myself in the mirror, and don't know what I fear?

Guess I'll always be alone then

GOD I hate my forsaken life

Click to expand...

You mentioned that people do want to be your friend. Life is about giving other people an opportunity. What if there is someone out there that is lonely too and is in need of a friend? Someone who wished to get to know you? Someone who might have a crush on you?

Life is about making choices. Everyone faces tough decision. It doesn't matter if you are Hillary Clinton or Obama or President Bush. We all face tough decision. It takes courage for someone to come knocking on your door and wanting to get to know you more. If they have the courage to do that, why not give them a chance to get to know you?

My older bro told me that it is tough to have the courage to ask a girl out on a date. But if she is willing to befriend with you, why not give her a chance.

To overcome your SAD, you have to practice everyday. Start off by saying Hi to your dorm mate. "Hi Michael, Hi Kristine, etc."

Give this a try and let us know the results. We can all help each other overcome our fears.

Cosmic Kid said:

I'm one big walking defence mechanism.

So I'm alone either by choice or rejection. Choose to not talk to them, or, talk, and get rejected.

Usually, I make the choice of how I'd rather be alone, based upon my mood at the moment.

Click to expand...

I know exactly how that is. Sometimes I wish for it to be different, but quite often I perfer my own company because I can't be hurt any more then I have already been.

It's also hard because I don't like complaining so often if I have a problem I prefer to say nothing. It is very easy for me to quite simply not talk at all. I also don't try to do things that get others attention. Usually I do the exact opposite of that which draws attention

Chris 2 said:

. I regret all the waste opportunity because of my social anxiety. I just can't open the door for some **** reason and be extremely happy to find more good friends, who can be a lifelong friend if only I wasn't so afraid.

Click to expand...

I did exactly that at university. I pretty much wasted any chances I had at making good friends and fitting in. Now that I've graduated and am back at home (living with my parents), I really regret avoiding friendship opportunities. I went through the 3 years of university without a single friend :/... I had a few people who I would talk to, but no meaningful friendships. Yes, I was scared (probably more than everyone else), but everyone goes through that anxiety when they're first starting college (even the most confident person) and I know if I could do things again, I would try much harder to get over that fear and make friends. Your university experience is what you make it.

You're still at college, and you say there are people who want to be your friend! It's not too late to turn things around!

cklove said:

Chris

If you want to have friends and the social anxiety is keeping you from making friends , why don't you seek help for the anxiety?

Have you seen a therapist or a dr. for this? I know personally that it can get better. There are a lot of good books on this also.

If you don't do anything for this it can get worse. You are learning to cope by AVOIDING. Avoiding people and social situations. This works in a way but is it healthy? It's keeping you isolated.

Hey if you don't want any friends, than cool , keep to yourself. Or maybe you don't feel like working on it. But if its holding you back, it can be addressed. It's fear. Any fear we have and avoid , grows bigger in our minds. It's all in how we look at it.

Hey good luck. At least you have people that are seeking you out. That 's flattering. Nice to know that others are interested in you.

Click to expand...

Thank you for all your response. I been seeing my Therapist for 3 months and taking med for 2 months, but I think I'm done with all this Therapy. It not working, just as I thought. I feel the most lonely on college weekend, everyone is out partying or doing something. I obviously have no clue, just like I have no clue how to approach a girl.

I don't know, but I don't believe in meds to solve this social anxiety situation. I mean, most of them are just drugs to keep you half-zombie all the day. And if they are good for someone, I'd bet is just a psychological stuff.

It's ironic, but precisely the past year when I finished High School, everybody wanted me to go to Univ. (or College depending on the country) because they said this would force me to have social relationships with other univ. mates and I'd be better with this problem. Of course the main reason because I didn't go to Univ was that I was completely tired of my mates during all my educational career, and thought that if until 20 I haven't been to any party, never had friends and never went out later than 8pm, it would make this even worst because everybody would laugh at me if they knew, so hiding it would have been kinda hard, just like it was during all the teen life.

But unlike you, now that I've ended my studies, I do not miss at all getting out and hanging out and going to parties, because I know I wouldn't feel good between them doing those things, and prefer doing other stuff. I think that although I didn't have this problem, I wouldn't get out very often.

But I understand you more in the girl approaching problem. I don't know if you've ever been in love (an unilateral love, of course), but when you're a teenager or young, this is one of the things that you miss more if you're in our isolation situation and experienced it in the past.

I don't know if there's a universal solution for this problem, of course I didn't recommend meds and stuff, in most of the cases you won't get any advantage, you'd waste money, time and probably health; but I suppose when we get older we are going to get through many social experiences that will make us change a bit and that allow us to life in a more or less normal way.

Oh, and don't worry for not having clues to approach a girl, I'm sure nobody has that, Casanova was overvalued. Best wishes!

I guess it all just depends. I think school is one of the better places to meet people and if you can get over your fear then you will be glad you went. However, if you can't then it will only make matter's even worse as you will hate yourself even more for being so pathetic. When I look back at my school year's I can't help but think I am a complete moron. There is nothing worse then just sitting there and watching other people talk and not understanding how it can be so easy for them.

Doesn't help either making a complete fool of yourself when you try to talk to people.