38 year old woman dies, no one finds her three years later

Friends...have you heard of the movie "Dreams of a Life"?

I just heard about it today and I can't stop thinking about it.

It's about a 38 year old, attractive, sociable, charming, talented woman who dies in her London "bedsit" and no one even finds out until three years later.

I dont' want to upset anyone with this story so if it will trigger something upsetting. Please stop reading if you think it will. But for those who do read I want to know what you think. I found it upsetting but I could not stop.

Trailer is here: www.dreamsofalife.com

Story here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/oct/09/joyce-vincent-death-mystery-documentary

My feeling about is that it shows how pervasive loneliness is. Even this glamorous, talented, successful woman died a lone and no one came by in three years to check on her. Nobody. She even had Christmas gifts near her...who was she going to give them to or who gave them to her?

It also hit close to home for me. Like her I am the baby of a large family but like her I am estranged from my family. I am not as sociable or glamorous as her but I've been told I am attractive, "vibrant" (like this woman), yet in truth I am often a hermit and many times have found myself to have no one to talk to.

Then it has so much to say about British (and perhaps American) culture.

What do you think?

This is very saddening indeed Somehow it scared me that I've told my friends to look for me if I'd go absent for awhile, specially now that I am living alone. It could be a cultural thing, but I can see myself relating to her, and I am in asia. Though for me, if ever that happens to me, God forbid, it'd be mostly my fault. As someone more inclined to isolating myself and being a hermit, I know I make people think I am alright, even if I am not, specially my friends in real life. But thankfully, I know my family will look for me.

Anyway, what this movie or story shows is not only how pervasive loneliness is, but how important relationship with other people, family and friends, are. we shouldn't be accustomed to being alone all the time and forever even if we're comfortable with it, because we're human beings capable of affecting the lives of other people and being affected by their lives as well. While we're still alive, we should make the most of our time.

Is this based on a true story or made up? I really don't want to click on the links if it's that sad I'm at work. Don't need to get all teary eyed.

I can't see how someone could be "forgotten" about for 3 years. You'd have to have no job, no bills, no mail, no trace of your existence.

Sci-Fi said:

Is this based on a true story or made up? I really don't want to click on the links if it's that sad I'm at work. Don't need to get all teary eyed.

I can't see how someone could be "forgotten" about for 3 years. You'd have to have no job, no bills, no mail, no trace of your existence.

Click to expand...

I think she is real, it's sad I'm reading about her now >.>

That kind of disturbs me that basically no one checked up on her at all. You'd figure her lease would be up or something and someone would find out.

I think it says a lot about British culture (I am a brit) I spend days sometimes seeing only people who I see when I leave the house, passing heys or how are you's. Never anyone at my door though. I also live a fair way from my family and it's a horrible though that this can happen.

People wonder why so many people (like us) get so lonely and isolated. Well it's because very few people take time anymore to be friendly to each other and kind.

The lady must have been a hermit.

You don't have to be a hermit for that to happen.

Anten said:

The lady must have been a hermit.

Click to expand...

she wasn't. She was sociable and well liked. I think she had a hard time and was picking herself up that's why she lived in solitude for awhile while still patching things up with her life.

I have heard of people found dead after a few months. Usaully someone complains about a smell or something not being done to the house. I don't think a loner in a city will be dead for more than 4 months without someone noticing unless they actively keep to themselves. So when you guys die I am pretty sure you will be found before you bodies Hecate to much unless you make a conscious chioce to seclude yourselves for the world.

Well her story proves this wrong. She was smack dab in the middle of a busy shopping area, in a "complex" and wasn't noticed for years.

Also, these ladies also were not noticed for years:

Isabella Purves, 5 years, Scotland

Natalie Jean Wood, 8 years, Sydney, Australia

Hedviga Golik, 42 years, Croatia

All of them in the "city".

Anten said:

I have heard of people found dead after a few months. Usaully someone complains about a smell or something not being done to the house. I don't think a loner in a city will be dead for more than 4 months without someone noticing unless they actively keep to themselves. So when you guys die I am pretty sure you will be found before you bodies Hecate to much unless you make a conscious chioce to seclude yourselves for the world.

Click to expand...

Don't they have mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, employers, coworkers, landlords to pay rent?

Pretty sad once you think about it.

This is so sad!

I agree, I am afraid of this happening for me, too. Especially since I am already a hermit, by all means.

How do people not notice a rotten corpse in a complex? I guess it is a lot easier than II thought but it would be extremely hard for someone in an American City to be dead that long without being found.

This boggles my mind. The pile of mail alone would alert someone that some thing is wrong. And yeah, the smell alone. I dunno, I find it hard to believe these stories are true unless the person lived in the woods cut off from the world. No mail, no bills to pay, nothing.

I read an article in a local magazine about people here (also young-ish ones) who died without anyone noticing and who wouldn't have had anyone who would turn up to their funeral. So this little organization was started where poets attended their funerals so the event wasn't quite so depressing. They tried to get a picture of the person and formed personal poems. I liked this initiative a lot.

Oftentimes I've felt like I could disappear from the face of the Earth and no one would notice.

It is such a sad fact, and to think of all the extremely lonely people out there. Too bad I can't get together with them and play board games or philosophize or whatnot. What a sad society this is sometimes...

Often thought about that. I could not go more than 1, 2 weeks at most without being found, even if I'm a loner: that's because if I don't show up at work, my parents would soon be called from the ''people to contact in case of an emergency'' list. Likewise, if my rent is not paid on the due date, the superintendant would come in before the month have elapsed. My mom doesn't call me often but she is somewhat paranoid so, if she could not reach me after a just one day, she would come over and require from the landlord to go in my apartement.

But, a loner with no job, deceased parents/freaks, a nonchalant landlord could easily die unnoticed for months or years.

HappyYogi said:

Well her story proves this wrong. She was smack dab in the middle of a busy shopping area, in a "complex" and wasn't noticed for years.

Also, these ladies also were not noticed for years:

Isabella Purves, 5 years, Scotland

Natalie Jean Wood, 8 years, Sydney, Australia

Hedviga Golik, 42 years, Croatia

All of them in the "city".

Click to expand...

Isabella Purves:
"Douglas McLellan, of Age Concern and Help the Aged in Scotland, said it was a 'tragic case'.

He said: 'If she was not receiving care treatment from anyone and not receiving social care, then the likelihood of being found quickly is minimal."
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1197314/Woman-85-lay-dead-flat-years-noticed-missing.html
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The lady had little relatives and her neighbors although said she was a nice sweet old lady didn't really check up on her. No one noticed her absence even thought she was an active lady and mail build up wasn't an issue because it was put through a slot on the door. Some people who knew her blamed the society that doesn't foster more caring neighbors. She was only found because of a leak in her apartment.

Natalie Jean Wood:
"Acting Superintendent Zoran Dzevlan said the circumstances were tragic and unusual and he hoped the discovery would at least prompt people to be more aware of their elderly neighbours' welfare."
http://www.news.com.au/national/the...an-sydney-forgot/story-e6frfkvr-1226089402036
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The lady suffered from dementia and many of her neighbors believed that she moved in with her sister. All her mail was forwarded to her sister's address and even thought utilities were cut off and people came to collect money the neighbors just shooed them away saying that she was no longer living there.



Hedviga Golik:
"Despite numerous tenants` actions, who noticed nobody was using the flat in 1970, as well as the city services, which requested the apartment to be broken into and examined, nobody reacted to their pleas for nearly four decades."
http://dalje.com/en-croatia/dead-body-lies-in-bed-for-41-years/148109
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People noticed but the police refused to enter the home because of message written on the door and it took a petition by the fellow residents to actually do something. The woman had physiological problems which made her a loner but the tenants paid her utilities and tried to get help to see if she was in danger.


All in all most of these were elderly women who had little contact with the outside world.

Yeah, I read an article about this actually. Apparantly they're making a documentary about it or something.
Really sad story. Imagine... Not one person noticed she wasn't around...

When I was 12 and still living in the UK my parents owned a shop, we had a regular customer who was in her late 70's called Doreen, my Dad would pay me £2 to carry her shopping basket around the shop for her. Then all of a sudden she just stopped coming in completely, we just assumed that she had died, which she had. There were a few other people who had thought that she'd died but they were all under the assumption that she had been buried as well. It was over 6 months before she was found sitting in her armchair in her property, the only reason she was found was because damp was coming from her property and effecting the adjoining one.

She was a well known person. She talked to my parents and other locals quite often but she didn't have any family or close friends, so it's understandable that she wasn't found.

This is fairly common in the UK with the elderly, not so much with younger people though.

Either way it's always a shame.