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Chris 2

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I been thinking long and hard about why it is that we are who we are. I have finally come to the conclusion that you don't live life on choice alone. Since we were born, our parent have impose different rules and regulations for us to obey. So ever since birth, we had to follow specific guild lines, some more than other. It is not until we reach manhood that we began to experience our own liberation. However, depending on our childhood circumstances, our choice become depleted and we lose our identity. Through all the years of learning and loneliness, we have lost the ability to become what we want to become, because the lasting effect of our childhood always seem to catch up to us.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Now I don't think I'll ever find love, is because well...

1. I can't simile (I had this disability as a kids, it due to lack of nutrition when my dad was a POW and he was not consider healthy) This is all the more worst for me, because it hard for people to tell that I'm friendly or that you want to be their bf, and you certainly can't smile to take a picture. This alone, has brought me up to look at the world differently. I knew I didn't belong in this society, because I'm just too different.

2. I don't have the look to boost up my confidence. When you get call "ugly" often as a child, and never once handsome, beside your family, well you get the point.

3. I have a boring background, never had a single decent holidays or birthday. Never play sport, join clubs, play instruments, do something crazy, party, drink, and etc...

4. I'm not a bad boy

5. I don't have the heights, I'm only 5'9, and most girls want tall guys.

6. I'm extremely poor, I could barely buy stuff for myself much less take a girl out to dinner. My college tuition was pretty much pay for with grants and loans.

7. I have social anxiety

My chance that I will ever find my dream girl is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 (the same chances as winning the jackpot!)

My look on life is to live the best way I can. But lately it been interfering with my study. When your depress, it almost impossible to want to do anything. It hard to say where I will be in the next 4 years, it safe to say that whatever happens, it not gonna change much.

Since I have such a horrible life so far, I'm just going to continue living until maybe the day that I can man up and talk to a girl.

And I want a dog someday:D (my first pet ever!!!)
 
Chris 2 said:
I been thinking long and hard about why it is that we are who we are. I have finally come to the conclusion that you don't live life on choice alone. Since we were born, our parent have impose different rules and regulations for us to obey. So ever since birth, we had to follow specific guild lines, some more than other. It is not until we reach manhood that we began to experience our own liberation. However, depending on our childhood circumstances, our choice become depleted and we lose our identity. Through all the years of learning and loneliness, we have lost the ability to become what we want to become, because the lasting effect of our childhood always seem to catch up to us.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Now I don't think I'll ever find love, is because well...

1. I can't simile (I had this disability as a kids, it due to lack of nutrition when my dad was a POW and he was not consider healthy) This is all the more worst for me, because it hard for people to tell that I'm friendly or that you want to be their bf, and you certainly can't smile to take a picture. This alone, has brought me up to look at the world differently. I knew I didn't belong in this society, because I'm just too different.

2. I don't have the look to boost up my confidence. When you get call "ugly" often as a child, and never once handsome, beside your family, well you get the point.

3. I have a boring background, never had a single decent holidays or birthday. Never play sport, join clubs, play instruments, do something crazy, party, drink, and etc...

4. I'm not a bad boy

5. I don't have the heights, I'm only 5'9, and most girls want tall guys.

6. I'm extremely poor, I could barely buy stuff for myself much less take a girl out to dinner. My college tuition was pretty much pay for with grants and loans.

7. I have social anxiety

My chance that I will ever find my dream girl is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 (the same chances as winning the jackpot!)

My look on life is to live the best way I can. But lately it been interfering with my study. When your depress, it almost impossible to want to do anything. It hard to say where I will be in the next 4 years, it safe to say that whatever happens, it not gonna change much.

Since I have such a horrible life so far, I'm just going to continue living until maybe the day that I can man up and talk to a girl.

And I want a dog someday:D (my first pet ever!!!)



1. If you can't smile..learn to deliver a joke to make people laugh.
2. Looks go so far anyway..learn to be confident.
3. Find what makes you happy as far as a hobby and follow it.
4. Bad boys generally end up working at some low paying job for life.
5. The size of the man does not depend on his height.
6. Geez..you're getting an education..so you're smart! And Wendy's has the dollar meal..and most students are poor..myself included.
7. Aaahh..now that's what's really the problem..you're holding yourself back.

Nobody can guarentee the future...nobody. Live for the day.

I have two dogs..and they're wonderful! The pound is full of unloved..unwanted pets. If you can't afford to buy one..foster one. They're always looking for people to help foster dogs and cats.
And they even pay the expenses of upkeeping the animal.

Oh and by the way..you've spoken to several people on this forum since you've been here..and half of them were girls.:)
 
WENDY'S HAS A DOLLAR MENU?, wow i'm off to find a Wendy's to spend my last dollars(all students are poor:(*tear*)

Good luck finding that special someone, just make sure you don't let yourself become a barricade to ,well.... Yourself.
 
I agree with most of what you said Arianna. However, there are a few things that we need to be realistic about. First, girls generally like the bad boy type because they like exciting guys, they like the chase. So that really has nothing to do with your future employment. Maybe women in their 40s won't tolerate that, but for 20 year old girls they can't resist. Guys like us feel the need to become bad/mean in order to get a girl because that's what all the girls end up falling for. I think that instead of saying that bad boys are not all that great...someone on this site should create a solution for this problem. One person thought of having a "nice guys finish last" forum, which I thought was a good idea. But simply stating that bad boys are low lifes does not do anything for us.

Also, for lack of better terminology, size does matter. Most women will candidly say that they want tall guys. However I don't think that 5'9 is that short. If you were 5'6 that would be bad, but 5'9 is like the avg height for males. There are plenty of 5 ft tall girls who would be fine with your height.

I agree with your thoughts about life, Chris. I think something that is extremely important is developing a social life in high school. If you don't do that you're essentially messed. Some people break out of it and blossom later in life but the fact that I had no friends in hs made me awkward in college and beyond. There is some sort of development that needs to happen at that age, and you don't really understand the damage it causes until years later. If your confidence is crushed it's not easy to get it back.
 
NeverMore said:
WENDY'S HAS A DOLLAR MENU?, wow i'm off to find a Wendy's to spend my last dollars(all students are poor:(*tear*)

Good luck finding that special someone, just make sure you don't let yourself become a barricade to ,well.... Yourself.

Yep..at least where I go to school...hamburgers, fries, baked potatoe, chili, cheeze and chips...eh.. I am gettin hungry..:rolleyes:
 
lonelyloser said:
I agree with most of what you said Arianna. However, there are a few things that we need to be realistic about. First, girls generally like the bad boy type because they like exciting guys, they like the chase. So that really has nothing to do with your future employment. Maybe women in their 40s won't tolerate that, but for 20 year old girls they can't resist. Guys like us feel the need to become bad/mean in order to get a girl because that's what all the girls end up falling for. I think that instead of saying that bad boys are not all that great...someone on this site should create a solution for this problem. One person thought of having a "nice guys finish last" forum, which I thought was a good idea. But simply stating that bad boys are low lifes does not do anything for us.

Also, for lack of better terminology, size does matter. Most women will candidly say that they want tall guys. However I don't think that 5'9 is that short. If you were 5'6 that would be bad, but 5'9 is like the avg height for males. There are plenty of 5 ft tall girls who would be fine with your height.

I agree with your thoughts about life, Chris. I think something that is extremely important is developing a social life in high school. If you don't do that you're essentially messed. Some people break out of it and blossom later in life but the fact that I had no friends in hs made me awkward in college and beyond. There is some sort of development that needs to happen at that age, and you don't really understand the damage it causes until years later. If your confidence is crushed it's not easy to get it back.


Bad boy types are usually just men that cover up insecurities..or otherwise they really are bad.. And I mean to the core that is. They often end up as losers..due to irrational behavior problems...like short tempers..etc. Which brings us to employment issues..if you have a poor disposition..you can't hold a job. Remember I am on the receiving end of all this because I am a young women at college. And I can recognize these types fairly quickly. Now..as far as women who want the dashing..tall...broody..kind of guy..well..excuse me..but most of these women are just as shallow. I am not saying looks don't help in the dating dept...what I am saying is.. I've met a lot of great looking guys that are..empty..self centered creatures. And no..not all girls are looking for this type of man. Serious minded women..want men of substance. Someone who has character and inner strengths. It's often the immature types interested in just their looks. So if it's just the 'physical side' to a relationship you want..you're right..looks count for a lot..but not in the long run because there is ALWAYS going to be a better looking person out there then the one you end up with. That's why relationships based on the physical alone..don't last.
There is someone out there for Chris..he just has to be more confident..a little less worrisome..and allow others to approach him. Oh and by the way..I know lots of short guys that have ended up dating lovely tall women. Like I said..it's not just height..it's the inner man.
 
1. I can understand why this would inhibit people from getting close to you- but really this is a shallow thing. Just let them know and it shouldn't be too much of a drawback.

2. Me neither. I've never been out with anyone I originally considered "hot". A person's looks always grow on me, with their personality. Personally I don't give a **** but I understand why it would make you less confident; although you're probably quite good looking (just being modest).

3. A boring background doesn't make you a boring person.

4. I laugh at those pathetic "bad boys"

5. I'm 5'1. I'd have to get a stepladder to reach tall guys.

6. I'm broke too. Material possesions and expensive evenings out mean nothing

7. Join the club

Hope it made you feel better. Most of your reasons are pretty superficial- girls who care about that stuff aren't worth going after. Believe me.
 
human_condition said:
Hope it made you feel better. Most of your reasons are pretty superficial- girls who care about that stuff aren't worth going after. Believe me.

What percent of girls do you think don't care for "that stuff"?
 
I don't know. But there are atleast some, like me, who don't. They're the type that he deserves.

It's a shame that so many people are shallow. I hate it, believe me, I'm not the best looking girl around, nor do i want to be. But people don't help the situation by falling for others based sole on their looks/riches/other superficial qualities.
 
Damnit. I wrote a really good (read: I thought was insightful, probably came off as mightier than thou and we should all thank the gods for their intervention), reply and then the power cuts. Not funny, not even close.

I think the gist of it was: Social anxiety will hold you back more than anything else. Also if you can't smile you could become a god of dry wit (that sounds cruel and crude saying it, but theres a silver lining to every hurricane right?)

Also congratulations Chris 2 on your initiation into Nihilistic fatalism! (our motto is: "Yes we're right. No, it doesn't matter")

I can't say I can help you, I'm possibly in the bottom percentile for offering advice on this sort of thing, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm perhaps too young to know if that means anything. But perhaps you expect too much, there are no dream girls any more than there are dream guys. If you chase after one thing in life you'll never get the other things you need to catch up with your dreams, maybe. How would I know?
 
I think a majority of our main problems are confidence. Because I have seen the ugliest fe/males have girlfriends and boyfriends. The lack of confidence is either the cause or caused by depression. Then we dont want to do activities. So maybe if we all just try to do one thing little for ourselves that makes us feel better. my personal example I wouldnt suggest this I jump down stairs. And run out of class. Both are small things that give me a bit of excitement in my days and its small. Not sure how long it will take me to maybe join a boxing gym which I think I would enjoy but I am to afraid to deal with people. But that makes my day better and makes me feel better. And from time to time that shows up in other places.
 
I think I can feel what women want in a guy... he has to have a goal... his life is supposed to be heading somewhere and not just floating about pointlessly... so if you're just drifting along, you won't get a girlfriend, you need to have a "flame" inside of you. I think that's what attracts women. '.' Maybe I'm wrong, it's just how I feel.

I'm definitely not that kind of person. I have no flame, no fire, no will to live. I am the living dead. =D I've given up to life, I am not fighting against it. I have no goal, I feel like my life already ended. I am a loser in the most literal sense - I lost the battle against life by giving up. I don't want to fight. If I could die painlessly and I knew that I won't go to hell, I would do it right now.

I think it's about that, being a passionate person with a will to live, vs being a doormat. And not about "nice guys vs jerks", that's just an excuse. ;)
 
mimizu said:
I think I can feel what women want in a guy... he has to have a goal... his life is supposed to be heading somewhere and not just floating about pointlessly... so if you're just drifting along, you won't get a girlfriend, you need to have a "flame" inside of you. I think that's what attracts women. '.' Maybe I'm wrong, it's just how I feel.

I'm definitely not that kind of person. I have no flame, no fire, no will to live. I am the living dead. =D I've given up to life, I am not fighting against it. I have no goal, I feel like my life already ended. I am a loser in the most literal sense - I lost the battle against life by giving up. I don't want to fight. If I could die painlessly and I knew that I won't go to hell, I would do it right now.

I think it's about that, being a passionate person with a will to live, vs being a doormat. And not about "nice guys vs jerks", that's just an excuse. ;)

I'm also the same way, I have no spark left in me. People tell me I have O energy and it true, I'm living life on a string. I am like an automaton who only have 3 basic function: homework, sleep, eat. Heck I haven't watch TV in a long time, and don't plan to anytime soon, since TV make me so depress. People want to get to know me, but I always shut them out, because I am afraid once they know who I am, their going to leave me.

It just too hard right now to change anything. I don't have the money, support, nor will power to do anything. I'm also done taking anti-depressant and therapy only cost money and doesn't seem to help.

Well thanks for your reply guys.
 
girls that look only in superficial of a guy are so called "hypocrit".

you know eating or dating in a fastfood restaurant is funn-er rather than dating in a sufisticated restaurant.

In the fastfood resto you dont have to mind you etiquette. all you have to bring is your humanly self and fun.. however in that expensive restaurant, you have to mind your move, you have to be careful in what you are saying, mind the level of your voice, etc... there really has a lot of thing.

me as a girl, yeah im always attracted to a bad boy looking guy. but after that i have to know his personality and character before having that attachment to him. or else no more no less just friends.

dont say about grants and loans and your poor. most of the student has that too. thats only normal. having debt before college. that's is what you call RESPONSIBILITY. if you are responsible to yourself, in the end you will be responsible in everything. if girls will finds that character from you, thats a plus! in the long run if you will have your family, being responsible is a must right!

your are still young. its not that the end of the world is coming. maybe you didnt find the things that you are good at. no sports, thats fine. unable to play instruments, thats ok. just bare in mind as long as you are you. you don't hurt anyone. and you have respcet to yourself and to everyone. there will be no problem. she will come unnotice.
 
toxic-tears said:
girls that look only in superficial of a guy are so called "hypocrit".

you know eating or dating in a fastfood restaurant is funn-er rather than dating in a sufisticated restaurant.

In the fastfood resto you dont have to mind you etiquette. all you have to bring is your humanly self and fun.. however in that expensive restaurant, you have to mind your move, you have to be careful in what you are saying, mind the level of your voice, etc... there really has a lot of thing.

me as a girl, yeah im always attracted to a bad boy looking guy. but after that i have to know his personality and character before having that attachment to him. or else no more no less just friends.

dont say about grants and loans and your poor. most of the student has that too. thats only normal. having debt before college. that's is what you call RESPONSIBILITY. if you are responsible to yourself, in the end you will be responsible in everything. if girls will finds that character from you, thats a plus! in the long run if you will have your family, being responsible is a must right!

your are still young. its not that the end of the world is coming. maybe you didnt find the things that you are good at. no sports, thats fine. unable to play instruments, thats ok. just bare in mind as long as you are you. you don't hurt anyone. and you have respcet to yourself and to everyone. there will be no problem. she will come unnotice.

Thanks for the kind word, but I don't have respect for myself. I got low self esteem due to Social Anxiety. And I rather just die if I could;)

but i want LOVE more than anything in this world. This might be my mood swing talking since I have bipolar.
 
Chris 2 said:
toxic-tears said:
girls that look only in superficial of a guy are so called "hypocrit".

you know eating or dating in a fastfood restaurant is funn-er rather than dating in a sufisticated restaurant.

In the fastfood resto you dont have to mind you etiquette. all you have to bring is your humanly self and fun.. however in that expensive restaurant, you have to mind your move, you have to be careful in what you are saying, mind the level of your voice, etc... there really has a lot of thing.

me as a girl, yeah im always attracted to a bad boy looking guy. but after that i have to know his personality and character before having that attachment to him. or else no more no less just friends.

dont say about grants and loans and your poor. most of the student has that too. thats only normal. having debt before college. that's is what you call RESPONSIBILITY. if you are responsible to yourself, in the end you will be responsible in everything. if girls will finds that character from you, thats a plus! in the long run if you will have your family, being responsible is a must right!

your are still young. its not that the end of the world is coming. maybe you didnt find the things that you are good at. no sports, thats fine. unable to play instruments, thats ok. just bare in mind as long as you are you. you don't hurt anyone. and you have respcet to yourself and to everyone. there will be no problem. she will come unnotice.

Thanks for the kind word, but I don't have respect for myself. I got low self esteem due to Social Anxiety. And I rather just die if I could;)

but i want LOVE more than anything in this world. This might be my mood swing talking since I have bipolar.

dont say that. Death is not the only way. There are plenty of ways how to over come those problems. just give yourself a time. just let the moment flow. :)
 
Where has this perception that ALL girls like bad boys come from!! That is absolute BS! As a girl I can tell you a nice guy (even a broke one) has the a greater chance of getting the girl of his dreams then a "bad boy".
Don't give up, there is someone out there!
 

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