Reading the signs after a date

Neozoro · Feb 12, 2012

Hi, before reading this understand that I am incredibly socially inept, and have no idea about reading anyones emotions and 'signs'.

Today I had a second date with a girl I've come to really like. The first time we went to a bar then back to her room (both students on campus) and generally talked and played a few card games, nothing physical happened. This time we went to see a film, then I walked her back to her room as she was tired, and I held her hand for some of the walk back.

We agreed to do it again sometime, and that I should text/call her. But I am worried that I may be slipping into the friend zone, and need to make some sort of move or something. I also get the feeling that she may not be as into me as I am to her, even though conversation seems to flow really well and I think she enjoys my company somewhat.

Maybe a big romantic valentines day thing, I dunno...
Any advice would be welcomed

Tiina63 · Feb 12, 2012

I am hopeless at reading the signs/body language etc as well, so can sympathise with you. Maybe planning a big Valentines Day thing would be a bit premature and could scare her off after only two dates. Instead, why not arrange something smaller for that day, a coffee together or something?

kamya · Feb 12, 2012

Yeah don't do a big romantic valentines day thing. Please don't. I wouldn't say you've missed out yet but you are running out of time. Just be teasing and play around, be touchy and cuddly but don't be creepy. If you don't do much on the next date I would say nothing will ever happen between you two. No pressure!

Neozoro · Feb 12, 2012

Haha that's what I'm thinking too, might be a bit creepy to do something big without anything actually happening prior to it. I've had this problem before with another girl but managed to turn it around by the third date, so hopefully I can just do the exact same thing

.

Also, if the last time was on saturday, and valentine's is on tuesday at what point do you think I should text/call her?

Cheers for the advice btw

Tiina63 · Feb 12, 2012

You could text or call tonight (not sure what time zone you are in but it is Sunday evening here at present) or tomorrow.

Neozoro · Feb 12, 2012

I've just contacted her now, and I've somehow managed to get her to come round to my room to 'chat or watch tv or anything really' on valentines lol. I'm planning on strategically placing impressive things about me around the room e.g. football team photo's, recent exam results and what not

Thanks for all the input, helps to have more experienced peole help me out

xx

jjam · Feb 13, 2012

What if she's reading this, and none of that turns out to be a surprise to her?

kamya · Feb 13, 2012

Then I'd say she's a keeper.

Tiina63 · Feb 13, 2012

Good luck for tomorrow and I hope things work out for you both.

Tear of the Goddess · Feb 13, 2012

Sounds like a solid plan

good luck!

Aube · Feb 13, 2012

Neozoro said:
I've just contacted her now, and I've somehow managed to get her to come round to my room to 'chat or watch tv or anything really' on valentines lol. I'm planning on strategically placing impressive things about me around the room e.g. football team photo's, recent exam results and what not

Thanks for all the input, helps to have more experienced peole help me out xx

@Neozoro! You don't need to place impressive things! You rather need to make a ''cute move''. You have to go with the ambience and what will be happening but, I'd suggest looking at her quietly but intently when she speaks, look at her mouth and then, back at her eyes. Laugh gently if she says something a bit funny.

A non-threatening move might be to be close enough while watching tv/a movie. Then, you could tuck her hair behind her ear, for example (if that is doable). If at some point, you can be comfortable enough to touch her neck or the back of her head and she turns to you, you're doing well and might go for a kiss. But whatever you do, you have to try to come closer and lightly touch her in a casual way (shoulder, arm, hair, etc.).

Ha! Ha! Your date is inspiring me. Anyway, I don't want to get cheesy but, don't assume she's not as interested. You will know if you can approach or touch her that you are doing well.

Neozoro · Feb 13, 2012

Aube said:
Neozoro said:

I've just contacted her now, and I've somehow managed to get her to come round to my room to 'chat or watch tv or anything really' on valentines lol. I'm planning on strategically placing impressive things about me around the room e.g. football team photo's, recent exam results and what not

Thanks for all the input, helps to have more experienced peole help me out xx

Click to expand...

@Neozoro! You don't need to place impressive things! You rather need to make a ''cute move''. You have to go with the ambience and what will be happening but, I'd suggest looking at her quietly but intently when she speaks, look at her mouth and then, back at her eyes. Laugh gently if she says something a bit funny.

A non-threatening move might be to be close enough while watching tv/a movie. Then, you could tuck her hair behind her ear, for example (if that is doable). If at some point, you can be comfortable enough to touch her neck or the back of her head and she turns to you, you're doing well and might go for a kiss. But whatever you do, you have to try to come closer and lightly touch her in a casual way (shoulder, arm, hair, etc.).

Ha! Ha! Your date is inspiring me. Anyway, I don't want to get cheesy but, don't assume she's not as interested. You will know if you can approach or touch her that you are doing well.

Haha maybe conversation starters more then impressive items

, the first time I saw her there was a bit of close-ish contact and maybe the reason it didn't happen last time was because she needed to get back early, or maybe that's just wishful thinking , hopefully it will evolve from that.

Thanks for the physical contact advice, i'll try to avoid sitting rigidly in the hope of not doing anything inappropriate

kamya · Feb 13, 2012

I still say just cuddle and tease and just be playful :/ Seems to work for me.

freedom · Feb 13, 2012

I agree with what some of the posters are saying. I personally wouldn't go with a big Valentine's Day date. It would be really over the top. Instead just do a small date. You know, dinner and a movie or something along those lines. Just have fun.

As for reading the signs, unfortunatley, it's a learned ability. It's something you actually have to experience many times over and actually learn. Like you have to study it, you know? It's not always cake reading the signs though. Sometimes you think you've got everything under wraps, but you don't. I really wish you luck, my friend. Just be yourself whenever you're with her and do whatever comes natural to you (unless it's something creepy, lol).

I wish you luck on your ventures.

Zetsubou-Sensei · Feb 13, 2012

Just be yourself whenever you're with her and do whatever comes natural to you

I think this is the most important thing. Forcing yourself or pretending to be someone you're not is a bad idea

Ak5 · Feb 13, 2012

I agree with other posters! Don't do anything big, take it slow, subtly flirt.

Be sure to tell us how it went lol.

Tear of the Goddess · Feb 14, 2012

Take her out for a walk!

My Lounge Act · Feb 14, 2012

Hope tonight is going well for you mate

Neozoro · Feb 14, 2012

Sadly went pretty badly today, nothing happened whatsoever, no physical contact, when we did watch some tv I could see her body angled away from me, and she was even texting someone by the end of it. She said "I'll see you soon?" at the end and I agreed, but honestly I think that's it for the small thing this was.

Having never been in a relationship and having tried this a couple of times now I think it's safe to say for all the effort I put in it's just pointless

Thanks for the advice anyway

Aube · Feb 14, 2012

Neozoro said:
Sadly went pretty badly today, nothing happened whatsoever, no physical contact, when we did watch some tv I could see her body angled away from me, and she was even texting someone by the end of it. She said "I'll see you soon?" at the end and I agreed, but honestly I think that's it for the small thing this was.

Having never been in a relationship and having tried this a couple of times now I think it's safe to say for all the effort I put in it's just pointless

Thanks for the advice anyway

That's too bad but then, you did nothing wrong. If you're ok keeping her as a friend, you never know if something would develop. I know some people just says ''friend zone'' all the time but many romantic relationships develop from friendship.

Reading the signs after a date

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