People who have tons of friends cause of their looks make me sick

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lonelyloser

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There are so many people I know of who are so happy and bubbly because they have so many friends and it's only cause they look good and have money. They look down upon people who aren't like them as if it's their fault that they aren't as beautiful or popular. These people have had so many fun and great experiences in their life because of their good luck. It makes me think of how shitty and lonely my life has been. I'll see like teenagers just laughing together at the mall and even that will make me depressed cause I never had that. And that alone just makes me want to die so bad so I don't have to witness it anymore.
 
I normally tend to look down on the people laughing, due to whatever they are talking about is hallow and empty. And whether they are like us or not its sad that really wouldnt bring me any joy. Would it make you feel any better?
 
At my high school, the popular in-group consisted solely of pretty, rich girls. I actually read a paper, whilst in uni, about attractiveness. It was about a study that involved rating faces which varied in facial attractiveness on intelligence, warmth and other traits that I can't remember. In fact, loads of studies have been done, and they consistently found that good-looking people were rated as more intelligent, friendly, and everything else - even if they were in fact less intelligent etc. That's just what society is like, I guess. :/
 
lonelyloser said:
There are so many people I know of who are so happy and bubbly because they have so many friends and it's only cause they look good and have money. They look down upon people who aren't like them as if it's their fault that they aren't as beautiful or popular. These people have had so many fun and great experiences in their life because of their good luck. It makes me think of how shitty and lonely my life has been. I'll see like teenagers just laughing together at the mall and even that will make me depressed cause I never had that. And that alone just makes me want to die so bad so I don't have to witness it anymore.

I see people like this all the time too. Sure I'm jealous of the fact that they've got people to be around and laugh with, but in NO way do I envy them as a person or for their lives they lead.
I think anyone who attains a state of "happiness" and cheer simply because of their looks or how many superficial friends they have is not worth any jealousy over. I know for sure if I were that way I'd be a pretty dull person inside and out.

Sure I have far fewer relationships than these popular folk, but the few relationships I do have are always very meaningful.
 
Hey I think I am a pretty good looking guy however, I dont have tons of friends because of it. And a lot of other people here are pretty good lookign(just got through the lets see the faces). So even if society is shallow its more about a state of mind I think. Either your to ignorant to worry about anything, or just generally happy for whatever reason, or the people who never want to be alone.

Plus I thought it was funny that human_conditions reply as shes very pretty.:p
 
lonelyloser said:
These people have had so many fun and great experiences in their life because of their good luck. It makes me think of how shitty and lonely my life has been. I'll see like teenagers just laughing together at the mall and even that will make me depressed cause I never had that. And that alone just makes me want to die so bad so I don't have to witness it anymore.
That's exactly how I feel. Even on this forum. =_= I also hate seeing little kids playing together and laughing. I had no friends when I was a kid. Never. I didn't even play soccer once. I had no interaction with other kids. I feel like a leper.
 
I don't think it has to do with looks. There are plenty of fat ulgy people who are way more popular because they have a good personality. It doesn't matter if you're unattractive, an attractive personality really does make up for it. If you think someone has friends just because they look good or have money then they probably aren't friends, just people trying to use them.If they're happy it is maybe because they are that shallow, but who can blame them? Maybe they aren't bad people, just people in different situation so they live accordingly. They're lucky? Then leave it at that and move on...someone is always lucky. A lot of things can be blamed on luck, but at some point you must take responsibility for being who you are.

Just be careful you aren't the shallow one because of the way you judge them.
 
mimizu said:
I also hate seeing little kids playing together and laughing. I had no friends when I was a kid. Never. I didn't even play soccer once. I had no interaction with other kids. I feel like a leper.
why?what happened?

I think, when the right time comes--u'll get over this.
u know, I always had friends and company and all that honeysuckle, but there's nothing worse than finding out that ur best friend whom u thought u knew well, loved like ur sister for years was nothing but a jealous *****...how blind and trusting was I. That tought me, no metter how many friends u got, to never trust any of them 100%...and all people in general. Since then I never let any friend get too close to me.
Example:
I have a girlfriend, love her dearly, but she confessed to sleeping with "babydaddy" of her other friend. I still love her, but would never leave her alone with my boyfriend after this.
there are a loooooot of "friends" that very often u wish u weren't friends with.
susks but true.
 
e.m.e. said:
That tought me, no metter how many friends u got, to never trust any of them 100%...and all people in general. Since then I never let any friend get too close to me.
I told this to myself when I was 12 and have been holding on to that till now lol. That was after I had a major argument with a best friend. We're still friends now though.

But hey, it just hit me, since then I never allowed a friend to get too close as well. No longer buddy-buddy type..just best friends the most and even that sometimes we don't seem like it. Okay..interesting I never realised this about myself lol. Thanks to you e.m.e. for pointing that out.
 
I found an article about the relationship between good looks and success, unfortunately it is a bit depressing.

http://www.economist.com/displaystory.cfm?story_id=10311266

But here are a few important quotations in case you don't bother reading it :p :

There is, of course, the ...famous expression “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”... But the subtext of that old saw, that beauty is arbitrary, is wrong. Most beholders agree what is beautiful—and modern biology suggests there is a good reason for that agreement. Biology also suggests that beauty may, indeed, be a good rule of thumb for assessing someone of either sex. Not an infallible one, and certainly no substitute for an in-depth investigation. But, nevertheless, an instinctive one, and one that is bound to redound to the advantage of the physically well endowed.

a series of surveys in the United States and Canada which showed that when all other things are taken into account, ugly people earn less than average incomes, while beautiful people earn more than the average. The ugliness “penalty” for men was -9% while the beauty premium was +5%. For women, perhaps surprisingly considering popular prejudices about the sexes, the effect was less: the ugliness penalty was -6% while the beauty premium was +4%.

There is a feedback loop between biology and the social environment that gives to those who have, and takes from those who have not.
 
Beauty is totally subjetive. Someone you may consider good looking might not be considered so by their friends. Anyway it could even be argued that good looking people are intimidating and stand offish.
 
I hate good looking people, partially because I am jealous. But the problem is that people make judgement about you base on your looks. Lets face it, everyone of us do. Yes, we may say awww, he/she is so mean, but when it comes to you making friends with an ugly dude, will you do it? I for one am not so good looking, and because of that, I am bullied, laughed at...there's just no stop.
 
I agree with rabbit we do make judgements based on appearence. However I do think beauty is in the eye of the beholder, ie there's a guy in my lectures who works part time as model whilst some of my friends find him attractive some of us don't. And when you're jealous of someone you tend to see them in biased way, you think they have everything you want but for all you know they could've been bullied too.
I think the person with the real problems is someone who only befriends people only becuase they deem good looking. I don't think anyone here would look at someone and think "I'm not going to befriend you cos you're ugly". And if you do then you're a sad individual.
 
Sometimes it isn't someone's looks that give them friends. Some people are very confident in themselves and are willing to approach others and take rejection if it comes. A person who has a bunch of friends who are with that person because they believe they are good-looking or because they are rich, does not have friends. Friendship is an emotional attraction between people not a superficial one.

Also, as jasmin stated, "Beauty is totally subjective." Where does the line that separates beauty and ugliness truly begin and end? If there is one, I would say that it is not straight no sharp. Blurred between the real and the media perhaps. Anyone can look at someone and say they look good but, everyone has a flaw. If you examine someone long enough, you're likely to start picking out things because it's natural for us to do so.

If someone has friends just because they look good or have money, I pity them, they won't have someone to turn to if they really need it. And then again maybe the friendship is genuine. I try not to be too quick to judge. But I'm only human.
 
I've always wondered what it would be like to be very attractive...everything would probably seem easy, like having friends, dating, achieving goals, being happy...but then you'd always wonder about people's motives of being friends with you and dating you...perhaps it would be more of a curse than a gift. With the spotlight on you and all the drama around your life it would make you feel important but at the same time there would be a lot of pressure. I may not have much luck in the dating department, but at the same time I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone or please anyone for the sake of keeping my social status. Really hot people seem to have a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol...
 
lonelyloser said:
There are so many people I know of who are so happy and bubbly because they have so many friends and it's only cause they look good and have money. They look down upon people who aren't like them as if it's their fault that they aren't as beautiful or popular. These people have had so many fun and great experiences in their life because of their good luck. It makes me think of how shitty and lonely my life has been. I'll see like teenagers just laughing together at the mall and even that will make me depressed cause I never had that. And that alone just makes me want to die so bad so I don't have to witness it anymore.

Have you try harming people?

tennisgirl said:
At my high school, the popular in-group consisted solely of pretty, rich girls. I actually read a paper, whilst in uni, about attractiveness. It was about a study that involved rating faces which varied in facial attractiveness on intelligence, warmth and other traits that I can't remember. In fact, loads of studies have been done, and they consistently found that good-looking people were rated as more intelligent, friendly, and everything else - even if they were in fact less intelligent etc. That's just what society is like, I guess. :/

It all make sense now...
 
In my opinion it is just as bad to hate someone for being good looking as it is to like someone who is good looking.

I think people respond to confidence. How many not so good looking guys do you see dating "out of their league?"

To the OP, people will respond to you if you just be yourself, and stay confident. Of course not everyone will, but don't let past experiences keep you from trying to make friends.
 
I agree with you RunningAlone. Its just saddening to know that ppl are poplar based on the one thing. You see a pretty girl and every one wants to be her best friend. All the guys want to date her and all the girls wont to be friends and that's be for anyone even got to know her.

Of course there is a lot of good looking ppl out there that are very nice. But it dose do my head in on how superficial ppl can be. OK so you might go out with a good looking girl/lad but if you really wont to spend the rest of your life with that person there has to be moor. We well all grow old and loss what ever good looks we have eventually.

prove tho that just because your good looking dose not give you a free pass to having lots of friends. Just look at the post your picture thread here. I think you well be surprised in how many good looking ppl are on this board.
 
RunningAlone said:
In my opinion it is just as bad to hate someone for being good looking as it is to like someone who is good looking.

i think that too, to be honest. there's something a little ironic about saying you hate good-looking people because they're shallow. and i'm not sure it really makes that much of a difference anyway - i've never thought any better (or any worse) of a woman because of her looks, and as for men... well if i see a really attractive fella i get even more intimidated than usual. ok, i'm especially useless around people but i'm probably not the only person who's like that. and bluey is right that there are a lot of genuinely good looking people here, so sadly it doesn't appear as clean cut as looks = friends.
 

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