Hi all, Right now I just want to talk about what I feel.
I'm at a college haven't felt this much stress or lonely feelings before. I just feel all stressed out meeting people and scared to talk to anybody because I might burst my negativity to anyone but here. As I am going through college life I experienced all sorts of situations. Sometimes it's great and feel like everything looking beautiful but all of a sudden I feel lonely and competely shut down from a society.
Today, I just met my friend and talk to him about random issues because I wanted to socialize a little. I'm a kind of guy who is very inconsistant on attititude or personality. For example, when I go to a class I try to concentrate on a lecture as hard as possible so I try to relax as much as possible but as soon as class finish I somehow all get tensed up and feel like a totally different person. So, after a class I had a social time, talking with people and catch up with other matters.
Basically, my friend and I sat down along with Korean students which was fine before we had a conversation. by the way I'm a korean and in a korea society they respect elders even though they are 1 year older than I am. which can sometimes be a very awkward moment but it was fine because I knew them and was willing to join up the conversation. So, the conversation began. I don't know why but I felt like talking at that moment and talk to my friend without care about anything around me it was at the student hall where lots of people were. but all of a sudden another elder Korean talk honeysuckle right beside me in a little voice almost like a whisper but I caught him what he was saying . It was about me and all of a sudden he just told his other friend that "I'm a fuking ugly guy" literally in Korean which made me pissed off even more bc I can see him being private. Well I'm not actually mad at that maybe a little bc I sometimes acknowledge the fact that I'm not a hansome guy nor good looking guy but I was pissed about the fact that he expressed a negative feelings towards me and tries to bring me down. it ruined my day. Then I started to get all tensed up and sensitive. After what I heard from him I got compeletly distracted and couldn't keep up with conversation they were having. I'm a timid person so, I tried to ignore the feelings but I couldn't and tried to find out why he is bursting negativity towards me but as you guys know it was alter nonsense and made me even more insecure bout my feeling. bout 20 mints or so I decided to leave the place and I did but the feeling didn't go away and dragged me down to a very deep hole. I started to think I'm a terrible human being not good at socializing at all and doesn't have a single friend (this I felt pretty often but it was worst feeling that I've ever felt before for long time).
I tried to sleep bc I was too exhausted and wanted to reboot my positivity back. but there was nothing but anger and misery. So now I'm laying on my bed still distracted and scared to meet people.
What is my problem and what was his problem? I presume I didn't respect him enough bc I talked to much infront of me which sounds very stupid if he really does feel like that I would be very disappointed in him. if anybody knows please help me bc I feel like the misery will never gonna be over. Thanks for reading and tell me any solutions to solve this kind of lonely situation.
Last but not least have a nice day people
I'm at a college haven't felt this much stress or lonely feelings before. I just feel all stressed out meeting people and scared to talk to anybody because I might burst my negativity to anyone but here. As I am going through college life I experienced all sorts of situations. Sometimes it's great and feel like everything looking beautiful but all of a sudden I feel lonely and competely shut down from a society.
Today, I just met my friend and talk to him about random issues because I wanted to socialize a little. I'm a kind of guy who is very inconsistant on attititude or personality. For example, when I go to a class I try to concentrate on a lecture as hard as possible so I try to relax as much as possible but as soon as class finish I somehow all get tensed up and feel like a totally different person. So, after a class I had a social time, talking with people and catch up with other matters.
Basically, my friend and I sat down along with Korean students which was fine before we had a conversation. by the way I'm a korean and in a korea society they respect elders even though they are 1 year older than I am. which can sometimes be a very awkward moment but it was fine because I knew them and was willing to join up the conversation. So, the conversation began. I don't know why but I felt like talking at that moment and talk to my friend without care about anything around me it was at the student hall where lots of people were. but all of a sudden another elder Korean talk honeysuckle right beside me in a little voice almost like a whisper but I caught him what he was saying . It was about me and all of a sudden he just told his other friend that "I'm a fuking ugly guy" literally in Korean which made me pissed off even more bc I can see him being private. Well I'm not actually mad at that maybe a little bc I sometimes acknowledge the fact that I'm not a hansome guy nor good looking guy but I was pissed about the fact that he expressed a negative feelings towards me and tries to bring me down. it ruined my day. Then I started to get all tensed up and sensitive. After what I heard from him I got compeletly distracted and couldn't keep up with conversation they were having. I'm a timid person so, I tried to ignore the feelings but I couldn't and tried to find out why he is bursting negativity towards me but as you guys know it was alter nonsense and made me even more insecure bout my feeling. bout 20 mints or so I decided to leave the place and I did but the feeling didn't go away and dragged me down to a very deep hole. I started to think I'm a terrible human being not good at socializing at all and doesn't have a single friend (this I felt pretty often but it was worst feeling that I've ever felt before for long time).
I tried to sleep bc I was too exhausted and wanted to reboot my positivity back. but there was nothing but anger and misery. So now I'm laying on my bed still distracted and scared to meet people.
What is my problem and what was his problem? I presume I didn't respect him enough bc I talked to much infront of me which sounds very stupid if he really does feel like that I would be very disappointed in him. if anybody knows please help me bc I feel like the misery will never gonna be over. Thanks for reading and tell me any solutions to solve this kind of lonely situation.
Last but not least have a nice day people
