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vfa6x

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Think of it like this: two people (I suppose a guy and a girl would be the standard here) lying together on a couch watching a movie while holding each other... the twist is that's the extent of their relationship. They're just friends, and there's no sex or anything of the sort. It's just a friendship between two people with the added dimension of cuddling, holding hands or each other... that sort of thing.

Does such a thing exist, or have you heard of this kind of arrangement? Would you like/dislike this, and why? I wouldn't think this would have the same social stigma as the "friends with benefits" label has, do you agree?
 
Hmm. Me and my best friend we are both girls, snuggle up with one another while we watch movies and stuff and we are just friends. I also did this with a guy friend, but he was gay.
 
Does platonic cuddling between straight men and women exist? The boners speak for themselves.
 
I know it'd be pretty weird for me with another guy, but I'm pretty sure this would work for me with a girl and for it to stay as a friendship.
 
vfa6x said:
I know it'd be pretty weird for me with another guy, but I'm pretty sure this would work for me with a girl and for it to stay as a friendship.

Why is that?
 
The best way I can really think to explain this is, it's just something guys don't do with other guys. I'm not homophobic, or anything of the sort, and it's not that I think its something guys shouldn't do, but just something we don't do. I think it has something to do with the types of connections established in relation to gender roles. I'm sure someone can explain this better than I.

As for myself, I tried to picture it and while I think it would be comforting with a girl, it'd be awkward with a guy.
 
vfa6x said:
The best way I can really think to explain this is, it's just something guys don't do with other guys. I'm not homophobic, or anything of the sort, and it's not that I think its something guys shouldn't do, but just something we don't do. I think it has something to do with the types of connections established in relation to gender roles. I'm sure someone can explain this better than I.

As for myself, I tried to picture it and while I think it would be comforting with a girl, it'd be awkward with a guy.


Gotcha!
 
Glad that made sense, wasn't sure it would.

I'll also say that for the same reason it's more socially accepted for girls to do this than guys, at least I think. I know many people believe a guy can't be just a friend with a girl without thinking about her at some point as something more than that. I don't buy into that, but I think it's something else that gets in the way of this working with guys.
 
I'm not the biggest fan of cuddling with people you are not romantically involved with (unless it's a friend of the same gender because I know girls do like to cuddle with eachother). It might be because I had a bad experience with a guy I had a crush on. We cuddled a lot. I saw it as a "he's gotta like me" sort of thing but in his mind it was either just as friends or he was intending to cheat on his girlfriend he never mentioned until after he started flirting and cuddling with me.
 
I don't know. But it wouldn't have the same "stigma". Just a simple platonic relationship.

I'd love to cuddle with a girl, make it romantic, but sex too. :p
 
emmy23 said:
I'm not the biggest fan of cuddling with people you are not romantically involved with (unless it's a friend of the same gender because I know girls do like to cuddle with eachother). It might be because I had a bad experience with a guy I had a crush on. We cuddled a lot. I saw it as a "he's gotta like me" sort of thing but in his mind it was either just as friends or he was intending to cheat on his girlfriend he never mentioned until after he started flirting and cuddling with me.

Fair argument. I strongly disagree with such bull____. I would say that it would help to talk things over with the other person prior to engaging in this type of relationship, just to assure each other you're both on the same page. However, if the other person has ill-intent, as it sounds like this person may have, then that obviously wouldn't help much. At that point, I suppose the best you can do is try your best to read the other person. Sadly, that's sometimes not enough :(
 
mintymint said:
Does platonic cuddling between straight men and women exist? The boners speak for themselves.

This seems to be the primary problem.

All I personally want from a "relationship" is someone to talk to and non-sexual physical contact. Watching a film with a girl and just gently snuggling sounds like heaven to me.

However, whenever I do get cuddles from a girl I find attractive, it's like there's a tension of some sort inherent in the situation.

You're not thinking about sex, she's probably not thinking about it, but somehow the simple act of snuggling up sort of shows that you're becoming physically close. Becoming physically close means becoming emotionally close, which then potentially means sexual closeness.

So for better or worse, relationships in general seem to be an entire package deal. You either get a person's full attention or you stay sidelined, which I know I'm certainly fed up with.
 
Whether the contact itself is sexual or not... if potential for sexual attraction is there with the person, for me, even non-sexual contact, due to how intimate it can feel, can tend to yield sexual impulses subsequently... for me, those impulses (even in the self gratifying sense) have grown to demand at least imagined prior emotional investment... why, I can't say.
 
vfa6x said:
Think of it like this: two people (I suppose a guy and a girl would be the standard here) lying together on a couch watching a movie while holding each other... the twist is that's the extent of their relationship. They're just friends, and there's no sex or anything of the sort. It's just a friendship between two people with the added dimension of cuddling, holding hands or each other... that sort of thing.

Does such a thing exist, or have you heard of this kind of arrangement? Would you like/dislike this, and why? I wouldn't think this would have the same social stigma as the "friends with benefits" label has, do you agree?

Yes, such a thing exists. It's called marriage after about three years, lol, after each partner finds him- or herself more attracted to other people more than each other. That's where infidelity and frigidness come into play.
 
I've thought of the idea, but never actually done it. I mean... cuddling is very nice, but something about it seems like a bad idea with a guy friend. I'd never cuddle with someone else while in a relationship or if the other person was as well. That would be very weird.
 
mintymint said:
Does platonic cuddling between straight men and women exist? The boners speak for themselves.

Yes. I know a guy who likes to hug and I guess what you can call cuddling. He's straight as can be too. He'll ask guys to lay down with him to just chill. Not like he spoons you or anything. He'll just put his arm around you and just talk.
 
Sci-Fi said:
mintymint said:
Does platonic cuddling between straight men and women exist? The boners speak for themselves.

Yes. I know a guy who likes to hug and I guess what you can call cuddling. He's straight as can be too. He'll ask guys to lay down with him to just chill. Not like he spoons you or anything. He'll just put his arm around you and just talk.

That sounds kinda creepy to me :/
 
It is weird, I'm not even use to hugging people. He's very comfortable with his sexuality and comes from a close family.
 
Sci-Fi said:
It is weird, I'm not even use to hugging people. He's very comfortable with his sexuality and comes from a close family.

That's actually quite sweet/brotherly sounding in my opinion. I think it takes real confidence to feel so comfortable around other guys, I know I wouldn't feel close enough to any other guy to hang out like that.
 
Might be something to that, he doesn't have any brothers just 2 older sisters.
 

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