Have you ever been bullied and what do you think should be done about it?

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sunshinemisa

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I was bullied as a child growing up and bullied even in the workplace. The workplace bullying was worse because it was the managers and above that were the bullies.

I know that there is alot of programs and awareness days for the issue of bullying. Teaching the kids at a young age about bullying is great. But in my opinion that is only part of the solution. The other part of the solution in my opinion is that adults need to understand and realize that bullying is not just restricted to kids and teens. Adults need to understand and recognize their own behaviour towards not only kids and teens but their behaviour towards other adults. Kids see how adults behave and if the kids see the adults bullying other adults(or kids, etc) what message are the adults sending to the kids?
 
what kind of bullying are we talking about here? physical, emotional, political? There's politics in every workplace... I see it happening all the time around me. sometimes jokes are for fun just to see how you react. sometimes its serious. everyone has something they want and their own way to get it.

bullies get their power from you.
You are the one with the power to make your own decisions. that affect your world.
Maybe the bullies are not really bullies at all.

Also, why did you have to bring kids into this? they are the biggest bullies of all... most of the time picking on their own parents and other adults!

MadMonkè said:
what kind of bullying are we talking about here? physical, emotional, political? There's politics in every workplace... I see it happening all the time around me. sometimes jokes are for fun just to see how you react. sometimes its serious. everyone has something they want and their own way to get it.

bullies get their power from you.
You are the one with the power to make your own decisions. that affect your world.
Maybe the bullies are not really bullies at all.

Also, why did you have to bring kids into this? they are the biggest bullies of all... sometimes picking on their own parents and other adults!
Click to expand...

 
Luckily I've never been bullied. But if I do when I go back to school, they'll meet my fist. :p

Something should be done about it, those who are being bullied need to stand up. And yes, I get that standing up is sometimes hard, so those that can't should get help from others.
 
Before I quit school, I was bullied. What would have been a help.. if teachers were to do anything at all. People who bullied me, they were much bigger than me, and no friends and teachers did not care. As i think of it now, I am not sure what else could do. I was too weak, I guess.
 
It’s hard knowing how to fight back against bullies and even when you do the constant need to be on your guard to handle aggression can be exhausting. I grew up in a small minded town where insults and name calling were a daily occurrence for me; I was the outsider, the foreigner, the loner and the weird kid, how dare I be different from all the other kids. With school came bigger bullies, both in the form of entire gangs (I swear I had a different group gunning for me each term) and worst of all bigoted teachers who saw me as a target to win the other kids over. Everyone needs a villain to hate and a foe to rally against, I guess that was me, I never wanted that role though.

Like I said fighting back can be exhausting, my guard was forever up, suspicion strong and trust was non-existent. It can be incredibly lonely having no-one to turn to or stand in your corner, fighting back is far easier said than done when you have no-one to help and the knowledge that you’ll only be painted as a bigger villain afterwards. You can’t win.

I’d love to say that bullying stops at school but it there seems to be an increasing trend of it continuing into the work place. In most cases, like mine, physical attacks and petty name calling are replaced by unfair treatment and underhand targeting. Your boss who holds a grudge (because you’ve grown stronger from bullying but they are still stuck in malicious kid mode) will write you a bad report, your colleagues will exclude you since your life isn’t the exact same as theirs and you’ll somehow be scheduled to take on the crap work more than others. Just like school, once you complain you are painted as a bigger villain afterwards, the troublemaker who won’t comply or follow the rules. You’re still not allowed to win.

Of course this won’t happen to everyone but it happens to a few regardless, like I said everyone needs a villain to hate, from the United Nations to a group of spiteful kids, its not right or justified but it happens a lot more than people realise. I think the only way we’re going to reduce it (as I doubt we can eliminate it) is if we all stopped making snap judgements on people, if we started seeing people as individuals and not base our treatment on how others perceive them, if we gave them a chance. Some of the nicest people I have ever met were the outsiders, weirdoes and oddballs that others were quick to warn me about. Some of the scariest are the normal people who tell me I should be like them.
 
I am being bullied now and was bullied also, in school and in workplace.

It causes me extreme anxiety and fear.

I was bullied because I got no friends at all, and they knew it thats why they make me the target.

I am already shy and after all this it make me a more quiet person than I used to be.
 
Stand up to them. If the pricks know that they have a punch to the face coming should they disrespect you again, they will stop. Adults or kids. Crying to a teacher or mommy and daddy or your boss won't accomplish anything. If you are an adult and a co-worker is bullying you and you rat him out, he may get a stern warning. These days, it's more likely though, that your employer and the bully are in the office laughing at you calling you a wimp. Now you are the laughing stock among the employees where you work.
 
MadMonkè said:
what kind of bullying are we talking about here? physical, emotional, political? There's politics in every workplace... I see it happening all the time around me. sometimes jokes are for fun just to see how you react. sometimes its serious. everyone has something they want and their own way to get it.

bullies get their power from you.
You are the one with the power to make your own decisions. that affect your world.
Maybe the bullies are not really bullies at all.

Also, why did you have to bring kids into this? they are the biggest bullies of all... most of the time picking on their own parents and other adults!

MadMonkè said:
what kind of bullying are we talking about here? physical, emotional, political? There's politics in every workplace... I see it happening all the time around me. sometimes jokes are for fun just to see how you react. sometimes its serious. everyone has something they want and their own way to get it.

bullies get their power from you.
You are the one with the power to make your own decisions. that affect your world.
Maybe the bullies are not really bullies at all.

Also, why did you have to bring kids into this? they are the biggest bullies of all... sometimes picking on their own parents and other adults!
Click to expand...

It doesn't matter what kind of bullying happens at the workplace, bullying is bullying. Politics is another kind of bullying and no one should be humliated at someone else's expense. Humilating someone else just to get a reaction? Seriously? Sometimes, for some people who don't have alot of self-esteem or confidense in themselves, it can push them to the point of hurting themselves or even suicide. think about it, if you humilate someone more than once, and they don't push back what do you do? You keep pushing them to get some kind of reaction. Or if you do get a reaction, you keep pushing the envelope until they break.

I know, it happened to me and it almost cost me my life. At the time I didn't have alot of self confidense or self-esteem and I was humilated on a daily basis. Did I fight back? Absolutely. It is so exhausting that eventually you give up fighting back, then nothing matters anymore. Why didn't I jump off the balcony that Christmas day you ask? I had given up on everything and as I looked at the cars and people going on by, I suddenly felt the sun on face. In that moment I felt hope and I swear I heard my dad (who passed away) tell me not to give up and that there is always hope.

Click to expand...
 
I was bullied my freshman year of highschool. I transferred to a neighboring town six weeks into the year. There was a fairly serious rivalry between the two towns. So I was immediately targetted. How did I cope? I got in about five fights that year and won them all. Some were won by a narrow margin, but the point was everybody saw I was willing to fight for myself.
 
It's interesting how there are many different answers to the issue of bullying. Sometimes standing up to the bully/bullies is the answer, whether it's fighting(physically) or verbally. Sometimes, walking away from the situation (if possible) can be the answer(by not giving the bully the reaction that they are looking for the situation is defused).

Kids are always involved when it comes to bullying because kids learn and copy behaviours from other kids, and adults. When kids see bad behaviour and that behaviour is not corrected or even rewarded then how do we expect bullying to stop?

Compassion, being open minded and open communication, I believe is a good starting point.

People who see bullying happening and not doing anything about it are bullies too. In the workplace if someone is being humiliated at the expense of others and for a reaction? Are you serious? It doesn't matter if this person is quiet, shy, low self-esteem, low confidense, full of confidense, etc. It happened to me and yes at the time I had low self-esteem and low confidense. The bullying was emotional and verbal and it almost cost me my life. I stood up to my managers, their managers and hell even the head office. But, every day that you fight, and stand up for what you believe in, it takes a toll. After awhile, you start to waiver, start doubting yourself and slowly you begin to lose hope. I got to that point one Christmas, I just had no fight left in me. I looked over the balony and thought this is it because I can't take it anymore. I looked out and saw cars and people going about their business and then the sun came out and I felt the sun's warmth. It sounds crazy but, the sun's warmth felt like hope was washing over me. I swear as that was happening that I heard my dad (who had passed away) telling me to not give up and to never give up hope.

Hope, when you lose that, what else do you have?

han1991 said:
I am being bullied now and was bullied also, in school and in workplace.

It causes me extreme anxiety and fear.

I was bullied because I got no friends at all, and they knew it thats why they make me the target.

I am already shy and after all this it make me a more quiet person than I used to be.
Click to expand...

Dear han1991,

I understand the extreme anxiety and fear and what you are going thru. If you need someone to listen I'm here and I'm sure that alot of other people are as well.

Hope to hear from you soon.

 
fox said:
Before I quit school, I was bullied. What would have been a help.. if teachers were to do anything at all. People who bullied me, they were much bigger than me, and no friends and teachers did not care. As i think of it now, I am not sure what else could do. I was too weak, I guess.
Click to expand...

I was bullied as well, with the teachers IGNORING IT. I even had two people telling me "go get a stridex pad" in class, in the front row AND i looked right at the teacher and said "are you going to do anything?" then I threatened to kill one of them and the teacher sent ME out. I'm still raged up by all of it. It's sick that people let this honeysuckle happen. I honestly cheer the kids who shoot up their schools, they have the RIGHT.

Sorry if that seemed a bit twisted, but it's how I feel.
 
sullirose said:
Frito Bandito said:
sullirose said:
I honestly cheer the kids who shoot up their schools, they have the RIGHT.
Click to expand...

No, they do not have the right.
Click to expand...

Opinions opinions. If they hadn't done anything about it, nothing would have changed.
Click to expand...

It is not an 'opinion' that one does not have the right to commit mass murder because they were picked on. It is an absolute truth. Also, rights are spelled out in political documents such as The Bill of Rights (in the USA) - freedom of religion, assembly, the press, etc. Nowhere am I aware of any document that grants "The Right of Mass Murder".
 
Frito Bandito said:
sullirose said:
Frito Bandito said:
sullirose said:
I honestly cheer the kids who shoot up their schools, they have the RIGHT.
Click to expand...

No, they do not have the right.
Click to expand...

Opinions opinions. If they hadn't done anything about it, nothing would have changed.
Click to expand...

It is not an 'opinion' that one does not have the right to commit mass murder because they were picked on. It is an absolute truth. Also, rights are spelled out in political documents such as The Bill of Rights (in the USA) - freedom of religion, assembly, the press, etc. Nowhere am I aware of any document that grants "The Right of Mass Murder".
Click to expand...

Maybe you should view the world as not in absolutes. No one follows rules. The Crusaders are a testament.
 
The same as bullying an innocent person is wrong, killing someone is wrong as well; and as a matter of fact, worse.
 
sullirose said:
Frito Bandito said:
sullirose said:
Frito Bandito said:
sullirose said:
I honestly cheer the kids who shoot up their schools, they have the RIGHT.
Click to expand...

No, they do not have the right.
Click to expand...

Opinions opinions. If they hadn't done anything about it, nothing would have changed.
Click to expand...

It is not an 'opinion' that one does not have the right to commit mass murder because they were picked on. It is an absolute truth. Also, rights are spelled out in political documents such as The Bill of Rights (in the USA) - freedom of religion, assembly, the press, etc. Nowhere am I aware of any document that grants "The Right of Mass Murder".
Click to expand...

Maybe you should view the world as not in absolutes. No one follows rules. The Crusaders are a testament.
Click to expand...

Philosophical Cat has dismissed your argument.

philosophicalca128565157526381136.jpg
 

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