When Did Your Particular Suffering Begin?

Hm i'd say i was born like that... but remember wanting to commit suicide at 7. Teenage years were a struggle. I think i am way better now, i know whats wrong with me, i have learned to deal with the different situations. I'm trying to stay away from negativity, because each depression seems to be stronger and more violent. But i have to say that my quality of life, my self esteem and my behavior are sooo much better than what i imagined. Never thought i would get here.

whispers said:

Hm i'd say i was born like that... but remember wanting to commit suicide at 7. Teenage years were a struggle. I think i am way better now, i know whats wrong with me, i have learned to deal with the different situations. I'm trying to stay away from negativity, because each depression seems to be stronger and more violent. But i have to say that my quality of life, my self esteem and my behavior are sooo much better than what i imagined. Never thought i would get here.

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7 years old?!
My God, you must have been in a dire situation of the greatest magnitude. I am sincerely happy and relieved to see that you are doing much better. I hope that you never have to endure something like that ever again.

At conception. That's how I know life begins then.

Since I was 11-12.

Ever since my parents dropped me at the kindergarden... it's been a struggle with social relationships, sometimes not much but always to some degree...

Since I turned thirteen. Things only became worse six years after.

4 or 5. Whenever school started. First day on the bus some kids were telling me in detail about how their parents were having sex the night before. Later that day kids were touching each other behind the teachers chair. Downhill from there. I started drawing pictures of naked women, mother found it and chastised me, got molested by the brother around the same time. Life has always pretty much been a downhill slide. I wish I knew how to "let go" of my hate. It's very ingrained and reliable.

My earliest childhood memory is of me spilling cereal and milk and my mother screaming her head off about it.

I don't feel as if I have major problems. But I have a huge void in my life right now that I have to try to fill. So im here right now.

Seanou said:

I don't feel as if I have major problems. But I have a huge void in my life right now that I have to try to fill. So im here right now.

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Good choice coming here. Plenty of good people with much to offer in the way of helping you with your problems without paying $300/Hr.

The issues that make me unhappy now started when my ex/late husband left and I had to move to the suburbs in an apartment with my Mom in my Sister's Family's house. I absolutely have no hope that my life will ever be a truly happy one again.

When I was 0.