Sitting in the house alone :(

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somber_radiance

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Everyone's gone for Spring break...including all my housemates. I decided to save money and stay...but sitting in an empty house is depressing. Plus, another problem has been on my mind. I recently had a falling out with a guy friend that was close enough to be called my boyfriend. I had never felt so close to a guy before him...and he just pretends I don't exist anymore. He's been living his life like normal, being productive with his schoolwork/studying (I wish I could get more work done right now) and going out with other girls (my housemate spotted him out). Makes me feel like crap because here I was crying over him when he clearly didn't give a d---. I try to hang out with my other friends...even let a a guy I very briefly dated in the past back in my life...but no matter what...everything reminds me of the guy that left me. I also feel like I have NO ONE to talk to about getting over all this. Literally...no one is here.

Will people here talk to me?
 
It will pass, it is the realization of how you felt and how you felt. I went through something similar with a girl I FWB with. Just give it time. Do your crying and regretting. Then it will turn to anger and eventually motivation... like it did for me.

:S I do not know what I can say. However, I can stick around and give my thoughts.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
It will pass, it is the realization of how you felt and how you felt. I went through something similar with a girl I FWB with. Just give it time. Do your crying and regretting. Then it will turn to anger and eventually motivation... like it did for me.

:S I do not know what I can say. However, I can stick around and give my thoughts.

Thanks....I think I'm entering the anger stage. I was thinking about revenge earlier today and totally fuming....but now I'm back to missing him. What sucks more is that I let in other guys in my life only to realize that they just want sex. My guy friend never tried to force off my clothes or make me touch his ----. I was feeling guilty about using them as rebound...when they were trying to take advantage of my emotional low.
I keep wondering why he won't tell me what happened. And I know he's been hanging out with that blonde girl (my housemate saw them out together) that used to tag along with him everywhere before he and I started seeing each other. That pisses me off AND makes me so sad. He was not emotionally abusive of her........he treated me like honeysuckle and yet I kept giving him the benefit of doubt and stuck around long enough to become emotionally attached (almost emotionally dependant) to him.
 
^_^; so just to warn you, I am drinking... so... I might be a bit more... uhh blunt.

The anger stage is good. In the anger stage I lost 40 lbs :D . The anger stage wore off before I could get better with women though. Anyway, I say ride that stage You will accomplish a lot.

As to why he won't say what happened..... well maybe he does not believe anything happened. I mean yeah you guys were close, but you were not together. Friends are allowed to date right? Maybe he is more attracted to her? There are a great many things that could have happened. I would say that if he is not telling you... well it is probably not something you want to hear.

Instead of brooding on the why. I say remember what the good times remember the happy times. Remember the happy feelings. Then want to have them again. Use that to fuel your drive to better yourself. What would be better than having him come back to you and you be over what you had? Remember it as a good thing, but a thing that has passed.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
^_^; so just to warn you, I am drinking... so... I might be a bit more... uhh blunt.

The anger stage is good. In the anger stage I lost 40 lbs :D . The anger stage wore off before I could get better with women though. Anyway, I say ride that stage You will accomplish a lot.

As to why he won't say what happened..... well maybe he does not believe anything happened. I mean yeah you guys were close, but you were not together. Friends are allowed to date right? Maybe he is more attracted to her? There are a great many things that could have happened. I would say that if he is not telling you... well it is probably not something you want to hear.

Instead of brooding on the why. I say remember what the good times remember the happy times. Remember the happy feelings. Then want to have them again. Use that to fuel your drive to better yourself. What would be better than having him come back to you and you be over what you had? Remember it as a good thing, but a thing that has passed.

:) Drinking...haha. I've got alcohol in my room...but I'm not going to drink by myself.... I refuse to!
He used to buy me drinks until I was wasted cuz he thought I was funny/cute drunk or something. Omg...I finally realized, the only time he didn't respond to my alcohol-induced flirting was when she was around. But I did something too...I was flirting with another guy. Since I was single...I saw nothing wrong with it. But that's what triggered his silent treatment. I regret it...but maybe this is better because he's like potato chips...tastes so good...but soooo unhealthy for me.
 
Well you are a better person than me for not drinking alone. I will always be alone so therefore I have no choice but too.. Anyway this is not about me.

Can I ask how he is bad for you? Do not feel obligated to answer. I mean, it seems like the only bad he was for you was the fact that guys were not together. Then again I do not have your experience. Anyway, I feel you were well within your rights to flirt with another guy. If he was not responding that was his own **** fault.

One thing i think a lot of people on this forum do is blame themselves, I am one of them. Anyway, he is at fault too. You flirted and he did not respond. Always remember stuff like that. Stop thinking about your loss and start knowing that he is losing more.

 
AFrozenSoul said:
Well you are a better person than me for not drinking alone. I will always be alone so therefore I have no choice but too.. Anyway this is not about me.

Can I ask how he is bad for you? Do not feel obligated to answer. I mean, it seems like the only bad he was for you was the fact that guys were not together. Then again I do not have your experience. Anyway, I feel you were well within your rights to flirt with another guy. If he was not responding that was his own **** fault.

One thing i think a lot of people on this forum do is blame themselves, I am one of them. Anyway, he is at fault too. You flirted and he did not respond. Always remember stuff like that. Stop thinking about your loss and start knowing that he is losing more.

I think it'll help to think of it that way...it wasn't totally my fault...and he wasn't that perfect anyway.

He was hot and cold and emotionally abusive. He'd be flirty and into me...and the next day not even talk to me. Or if he did...it was to give me a hard time or make fun of me. He once told me I needed to get breast augmentation. Someone walked into the room so I didn't have a chance to yell at him. He had said to my friend before not to take him so seriously, so usually I just took all the crap as jokes. I know he liked roughing up people...he loved it when I was mad and started cussing at him....maybe it was a way to get me to flip...cuz it turned him on or something. I don't know. He was odd. I've gotten mad at him several times. If I ever gave him the silent treatment...he'd just not bother and go on with his life. I've never heard a single word of apology from his mouth. He also said a lot of honeysuckle about people I knew behind their backs. Among other things...he felt entitled and like he was the honeysuckle...and that the world owed him. He knew that there were people who hated him...but he didn't give a honeysuckle. If you didn't agree with his views you were crap to him.



Oh...and he also just used me for academic reasons. Even though I corrected him a bunch of times...he claimed he was right. ..and was pissed when the professor agreed with me. He's real smart tho just lazy...he beats me grade-wise ..and he's helped me out a lot with classes I struggled with too.... But I do get the feeling that he just disposes of people when he has no more use for them. Guess he's done...no more to get out of me.
=.= He was so bad for me...but he also brought out a more aggressive/confident side of me...a side that is more willing to stand up for myself, because my nature is to be passive (kinda like a hippie lol).
 
Sounds to me like you were attracted to the confidence he displayed. It is an odd idea, but generally true.

I will say you have to think of it that way. Remember he is his own thinking person. He made his own choices. Yes there were things you could have done differently, same with him.

:p Back to the being home alone. I say do something that you could never do with your housemates around. I know that my soon to be arriving roommate is making me take advantage of my alone..ness... Take advantage of it. :D You miss the best part of being alone. You only have to care about you. I say do something weird and obnoxious. I know when I get a roommate I am going to miss not having to worry about not wearing pants. T_T
 
AFrozenSoul said:
Sounds to me like you were attracted to the confidence he displayed. It is an odd idea, but generally true.

I will say you have to think of it that way. Remember he is his own thinking person. He made his own choices. Yes there were things you could have done differently, same with him.

:p Back to the being home alone. I say do something that you could never do with your housemates around. I know that my soon to be arriving roommate is making me take advantage of my alone..ness... Take advantage of it. :D You miss the best part of being alone. You only have to care about you. I say do something weird and obnoxious. I know when I get a roommate I am going to miss not having to worry about not wearing pants. T_T

Wow...that's interesting you saw that from what you've read. I was definitely attracted to his confidence. It's the character trait I look for foremost....and something I sometimes have trouble distinguishing from arrogance/assholery.

Anyway...lol walking around naked, hogging the TV and living room, taking over the dining table. I've already done two of those >.>

Thanks so much for talking to me. Friends I talked to a few days ago said I wasn't really heartbroken...just annoyed that I was "abandoned" ....but I think this time...I really was hurt, and they found that hard to believe because I'm usually the heartbreaker. Guess it's karma.

I would drink with you (virtual drink buddies) but I need to go to bed soon....

 
Well I have read books on how to attract women. I was kind of on the edge on what you were attracted too. It was either you were attracted to the sentiment or something like his confidence. I know women are attracted to confidence... well in everyone but me.

^_^ I say that you need to do ALL of them. Make a list, and soon you will realize that it sucks to have housemates.

I know exactly what you are going through. You had a strong attraction to him. The one girl who I thought hurt me... well she was hot and had sex with me... I mean... when I think about it... that is what I miss the most... otherwise.. here was a lot of honeysuckle involved that I could have done without. So I know what you are going through. I really do, even if our circumstances were different.

O_O Sleep is for the weak.. even if I am technically unemployed until the 19th. Sleep well friend, I am glad I could be useful to someone.
 
Well my advice would be to go find another guy(s). And you will quickly forget about him. There are better guys than him. If you know how to flirt, go out about your daily chores, and you see somone you find appealing, make it obvious you are flirting with them.

Or you could just have some (good) meaningless sex for a while with other guy(s), especially since all your flatmates are gone.
 
i got you. even tho i dont know you. u responded to my post and helped me so i can only do the same for you. holler if you wana talk to some1 i got open ears for anyone who is willing to talk.
 
He could just be pretending not to be hurt or miss you.

Going for walks can make you feel less lonely. Doing it in a park or conservation area can lead to some light interactions. On a busy street it feels more lonely as people aren't interested in even casual greeting. In leisure areas people aren't in any hurries so their more friendly.

Even if you don't talk to anyone, it's nice to be out when the weather is nice.
 

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