my only friend is my dick

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miltonbradley

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don't get me wrong, he's a great friend. but i spend way too much time with him. it's like we're married. my dick is my only friend and his name is antonio. he's always there for me when i need him. i've been having late night conversations with him a lot lately and he is stressing the importance of staying busy. i know some real people in real life but no one is a friend. i went to clubs and there are a lot of drunk girls who want to introduce themselves to antonio and i guess that's kinda cool but it doesn't even count in my eyes because they were drunk. i just want someone new (not my dick) who will sit in my passenger seat while i drive my car around (speeding) and give rides to homeless people
 
I spend too much time with my vagina...which sadly still remains unnamed. I'd like to sit in the passenger seat of someone's car while we speed around giving slices of the pizza we just ordered to homeless people near stoplights.

...sorry couldn't resist saying that.
 
:/ Not being the lemming is actually rather exhausting.... I do not know... I am not sure what you are asking for. To be hoenst, I am not all too thrilled about having to drag around the few lemmings I have for friends.
 
Mine too. His name is Horatio, but he likes meeting other people. Maybe the four of us can go out sometime.
 
I was so poor growing up
If I werent born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with.

- rodney dangerfield
 
I first read the title of this thread as friend is A dick...imagine my confusion when reading the thread. Then realized, oh MY dick not A dick. I think every guys dick is his best friend, source of pleasure, secret lover. Having someone else to play with it though...yeah that would be nice.
 
Sci-Fi said:
I first read the title of this thread as friend is A dick...imagine my confusion when reading the thread. Then realized, oh MY dick not A dick. I think every guys dick is his best friend, source of pleasure, secret lover. Having someone else to play with it though...yeah that would be nice.

Ditto lol
 
My best friend is a dick too. Sadly it's synthetic and lives under my mattress.....his name is Bob.
 
somber_radiance said:
I spend too much time with my vagina...which sadly still remains unnamed. I'd like to sit in the passenger seat of someone's car while we speed around giving slices of the pizza we just ordered to homeless people near stoplights.

...sorry couldn't resist saying that.

You rock, and vaginas are way cool!
 
Blue_Eyed_Symphony said:
My best friend is a dick too. Sadly it's synthetic and lives under my mattress.....his name is Bob.

Why not Richard? :p

(Sorry, I couldn't resist).
 
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