Hi!
Alright, so I've compiled a list of characteristics I've found in myself over some time now to try to see if there's a common denominator or pattern. Whether it's low self-esteem, or something else. So I will just give them in bullet points, hopefully someone (or myself, from just writing them down) can sense something. Or maybe I should even get therapy..?
So, here goes some background:
So, time for the things I've noticed:
So what do you think? :club:
Alright, so I've compiled a list of characteristics I've found in myself over some time now to try to see if there's a common denominator or pattern. Whether it's low self-esteem, or something else. So I will just give them in bullet points, hopefully someone (or myself, from just writing them down) can sense something. Or maybe I should even get therapy..?
So, here goes some background:
- I talk to people at work, there are a few guys I hang with and I usually chit chat with a few more. So I don't avoid people.
- I have 2 friends that I see more often (once per week or so) and some acquaintances. Maybe this is a bit on the low end, but I find it hard to want to meet more people. I could probably ask some people I meet more seldom for a beer, and they would probably accept.
- I've mostly had solitary hobbies and interests in my life, and I'm 24 now and trying to meet more people
- I've been in one relationship in my life, which was just recently and lasted 2 years
- Got a good job, both stimulating and decent pay. I'm sought after, and I know that I'm pretty good at what I do. So no issues here.
- Also, I'm living in a nice place and I generally like who I am
So, time for the things I've noticed:
- I don't think anyone can love me, and definitely not on first sight. That no one could be attracted to me
- I think that only girls with some kind of issues would be interested in me. Ie, schizophrenia, daddy issues, etc. That they're desperate.
- Feeling like I wouldn’t be good enough for a relationship; that I’d have to fight every day just to keep (the hypothetical) her from not being with other guys, which is something that would upset me very much
- I think I don't really have much of a personality of my own, that I don't have many wishes and maybe being a bit serious
- On looks: I think I look great in the mirror, but usually in photos I don't like what I'm looking at at all. I think I'm boyish looking, thin bodied with a baby face
- I like being in remote places where there aren't many clubs and bars around so there's no pressure to socialize, I can just concentrate on what I want to do
- Feeling like I'm boring and not very entertaining. Sometimes, I have trouble finding words. Often I don't have anything to say at all. But I'm not a negative person, I think.
- I'm concerned that I'm not really that interested in other people at all
- I'm baffled when I hear that people have been talking about me when I wasn't around, it gives me something of a rush
- If some girl looks at me in the bar, I look away. But if it's me that introduce eye contact, it's ok
- There's a much larger probability that I'd talk to a stranger if we're the only ones around
- I'm not sure I can actually love someone
So what do you think? :club: