i dont really want to participate in society

now that i am jobless, i have had some time to reflect on myself. i have realized that i want to participate in society as little as possible. i dont like people, in general i mean. there are of course individuals that i do like. but i rarely keep up with but a few people. and im ok with this. i generally like being alone. when my sister or roommate have people over and there is a gathering in the living room i may stay out there for a few minutes but 99% of the time i end up in my room playing video games or watching movies/tv shows alone. it is SO against my nature to do otherwise. now i wouldnt mind finding that one person to share the things i like with that gets me, because she is the same. but being an insanely shy 30 year old male virgin who doesnt want kids and prefers to stay home, leaves me with very little options in that regard. i feel like finding someone compatible with me is a VERY longhsot. now despite that i have met someone online that i really like and we have been talking for almost a year now. but after 2 failed attempts for us to meet due to both of us getting laid off i feel like the distance is making things stale. and to be honest im not sure exactly how serious either of us is about turning it into something. i feel like there is definitely something there though. again, the distance makes it hard to tell. either way we have become very good friends.

so here i am, jobless and with less than a month to find a new job. since i have no real skills or artistic value i will end up with some retail related job that forces me to be the complete opposite of what i am. as a result i am finding it hard to get motivated to find one of these jobs. i am feeling so lost right now and i have no idea what to do.

Sorry to hear that edge, hopefully things work out for you.

You'll push through, as always. You're an introvert, accepting who you are is important; if you're happy being an introvert, then that is perfectly acceptable. Good luck on trying to find a job, no matter what line of work it is, a job is very important.

how do you survive without sex? I couldn't do it...

If you feel you're ok with things is your own right to do as you wish with yourself.... But sometimes we put the blame on others, society or whatever, as an excuse to not fit in. Don't underestimate the power of denial. I know I did that for years, the world can go on without you so it's your own loss...

First thing first, I would concentrate on getting the job, getting back on your feet and then see how you feel when you're in a good frame of mind to ask yourself where you go from there.

You have the right to live the life that works for you and if that means solitude then so be it, who is anyone to say otherwise? I think you just have to listen to yourself and make sure its what you genuinely want as a life choice. Place yourself 30 years from now, you're 60 you have lived a life of solitude and because of this choice you didn't manage to meet someone so it really has been solitude. Does that thought scare you? What you don't want is regrets because there's no going back, if this woman has known you for a year and understands your outlook on life then again no regrets, 'if only I'd taken that opportunity all those years ago, she understood me and I could have been happy but I gave up on it so here I am' could you live with such regret? I think its just a case of asking the right questions at the right time anyhow, no matter how difficult to face up to, they are worth asking before you close yourself off, as the longer you leave it, the harder it might be to make the change in future.

Felix said:

how do you survive without sex? I couldn't do it...

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i guess when youve never had it you dont know what youre missing. then again i will not say that i am not sexually frustrated. in fact i probably am more often than not.

Felix said:

If you feel you're ok with things is your own right to do as you wish with yourself.... But sometimes we put the blame on others, society or whatever, as an excuse to not fit in. Don't underestimate the power of denial. I know I did that for years, the world can go on without you so it's your own loss...

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thats just the thing. i want it to go on without me. i am fine just sitting here enjoying my simple life away from people. i bother no one. it seems that i can t just do that though.

The Good Citizen said:

First thing first, I would concentrate on getting the job, getting back on your feet and then see how you feel when you're in a good frame of mind to ask yourself where you go from there.

You have the right to live the life that works for you and if that means solitude then so be it, who is anyone to say otherwise? I think you just have to listen to yourself and make sure its what you genuinely want as a life choice. Place yourself 30 years from now, you're 60 you have lived a life of solitude and because of this choice you didn't manage to meet someone so it really has been solitude. Does that thought scare you? What you don't want is regrets because there's no going back, if this woman has known you for a year and understands your outlook on life then again no regrets, 'if only I'd taken that opportunity all those years ago, she understood me and I could have been happy but I gave up on it so here I am' could you live with such regret? I think its just a case of asking the right questions at the right time anyhow, no matter how difficult to face up to, they are worth asking before you close yourself off, as the longer you leave it, the harder it might be to make the change in future.

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if i made it to 60 and had never been with anyone i would regret it. however, i want to be with someone because it works. not because we have to put so much effort in making it work. i want it to already work for the most part. and like i said, i know that finding someone thats compatible with the way i am feels like it will be slim to none. with this current girl, i do really like her. as of now there is no way for us to know if it could work as the distance is keeping us from trying. we both seem to very much want to try it. hopefully we will get to meet soon and then we can see where it goes from there.

Work on the meeting thing, and since you're not busy with a job why nnot now too
Maybe youcan find a job that fits your personality better, try looking online if you haven't already
And Good luck man