Regaining an optimistic nature......

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Lonely in BC

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Over the last couple of months I've been slowly regaining the optimistic nature I used to have. It amazes me how much the crash that started in 2008 affected me. I never thought of myself as insecure but the uncertainty of then and up until the last couple of months really shook me. Looking back now, I've come to realize that I felt a lot of anxiety (fear?) and it really put me in a dark place.

Finding work was never a problem for me but for awhile I couldn't buy a job. That was pretty unnerving, feeling like I was unable to take care of my responsibilities. I was able to get by but the last few years felt like zero growth ones with the exception of discovering how much honeysuckle and abuse I can handle. A career change has really helped. Some parts of me miss the creativity of building houses but I don't miss the stress and worry. There is a lot to be said about finding work that you leave at work when the shift ends. Besides, I can always build again if I get the bug- right now though, it's not even a thought.

Anyhow, things are looking up. There are still issues of course and I suspect some of those will never change. Got to tell you though, it's feeling pretty good looking into the future right now, I'm relieved to have shaken that feeling of despair. The few people who I am reasonably close too have commented on how glad they are to see my old enthusiasm back- its nice to hear.

Best of all, I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow instead of dreading it. By the end of the year my debt will be virtually gone (except for a small mortgage), my house will be finished, and I really hope to be able to take that ride across the States that I've always wanted to do (that one might have to wait till next year but I can still start planning for it).

I don't miss feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore.
 
That's wonderful to hear!

I've been dealing with similar sorts of life-crushing issues, so I can understand how liberating it can feel to have some of that weight lifted and how much hope you can get from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Here's to things continuing to move forward for you. :)
 

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