How Much Have You Healed A Little In Various Issues Since You First Joined The Forum?

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Which Issues Of Yours Have Healed Since You First Joined Here?

  • Total voters
    3
  • Poll closed .
LoneKiller

LoneKiller

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I thought that I'd create this poll so we all can see how various members have healed some in their particular afflictions.
 
For me it was majorly lonelyness, there are times, when it hits me...and its always when no one is available. But here, getting to know all of you, and knowing that there is always someone who will read my messages, its a releif. I know i,m not alone, you are all real people, and i've come to care for you. Communication, even if its on a forum, is very important.
 
The main difference is that now I feel like I handle depression better, when I get frustrated because 'x' thing happens in my life, I don't get too sad about that and I move on.

Next objective is getting my confidence points up! :)
 
Not much has changed for me since I joined, I still have all of my old issues. And although I've made friends with a small handful of people, there is at times so much drama, in-fighting, outright hostility, passive-aggressiveness, and people simply being.. unreasonable that I'm not even sure that it's been an overall positive force in my life. I just simply have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do and I do appreciate the few friendships I've made so I still come here every day.
But, I do know the forum has helped a lot of people in a lot of ways, and that's always awesome to see.
 
It's threads like these that ask me why i'm here, as none of it usually applies.

Then i realise i just like annoying you lovely bunch, especially you Jason ;)
 
1 Lt relationship break up
2, Death of a lover
3, isolation, cabin fever
4, i quit my job
5 . had to move back home cuz i quit everything
i drove my car to my parents house and just parked it for
a year....
A total melt down.

I can be such a fucken prick now...i guess
im feeling better.lol

i mind is not foggy anymore.
im not depressed. i feel happy or sad accordingly.
i dont isolate anymore.
I went back to work. Changed jobs..ect.
I started dating againt.
I relocated serveral times....

The dynamic of my life had changed.
Such as getting reunited with my children and
Renae. Moving out to verious part of the usa.
My life continue to change. Somtimes very fast.
Other times i feel stuck. Some changes were
good. other changes were very bad. I adjust
better or as best i can. Life gose on.
im not totally sure whats in the future because
the past couple of years had been full
of surpruzes.

i dont feel im on top of the world at the moment
but im not in the dumps...A lot of challenge
 
Poguesy said:
It's threads like these that ask me why i'm here, as none of it usually applies.

Then i realise i just like annoying you lovely bunch, especially you Jason ;)
Click to expand...
You're too good to me Poguesy.

 
Barbaloot said:
Not much has changed for me since I joined, I still have all of my old issues. And although I've made friends with a small handful of people, there is at times so much drama, in-fighting, outright hostility, passive-aggressiveness, and people simply being.. unreasonable that I'm not even sure that it's been an overall positive force in my life. I just simply have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do and I do appreciate the few friendships I've made so I still come here every day.
But, I do know the forum has helped a lot of people in a lot of ways, and that's always awesome to see.
Click to expand...

This. Also, personally I have made a few improvements however I do not give the forum credit for those improvements, seeing as I only made them after I'd stopped frequenting the forum. However, I gess it's exposure to all the drama and in-fighting that made me a little more immune to conflict - Normally I'd do my best to try and avoid it, becaus I couldn't handle it, but now I feel like I can either be in conflict with someone else because they don't agree with me or with myself for not saying what I really mean to say. The difference is, with someone else I can hit the ignore button. Not so easy to do with my own self.

So, I suppose the forum has been useful in that respect. Other than that, I've healed since I've been here, a little...just not as a result of being here.
 
Doubt The Rabbit said:
This. Also, personally I have made a few improvements however I do not give the forum credit for those improvements, seeing as I only made them after I'd stopped frequenting the forum. However, I gess it's exposure to all the drama and in-fighting that made me a little more immune to conflict - Normally I'd do my best to try and avoid it, becaus I couldn't handle it, but now I feel like I can either be in conflict with someone else because they don't agree with me or with myself for not saying what I really mean to say. The difference is, with someone else I can hit the ignore button. Not so easy to do with my own self.

So, I suppose the forum has been useful in that respect. Other than that, I've healed since I've been here, a little...just not as a result of being here.
Click to expand...

Its an online forum for people who have a lot of emotional issues that they need to express and discuss though. I think it would be a little naive to assume it wont get a little overly emotional at times. I don't think its so bad, its just a reflection of a cross section of society, bickering is part of that. Sometimes it clears the air, what you tend to find is people kiss and make up after a while.

To be honest I would expect more conflict than there is, I think 95% of posts are send with good intentions and without looking to cause offence. Thats a pretty good return when you consider how pig ignorant and rude society can be these days especially online. Its not perfect but there has to be a bit of scope for people being people and losing it occasionally, the alternative is treading on egg shells and not feeling like you can express what you want to say.

So screw you DTR! ;)
 
Well, my idea is that it's simply easier to be selfish online. You're faced with only your own feelings and how you perceive other people to be. No one is exempt from that. Whereas in real life, another person's feelings - their countenance, their gestures, etc - are right there on the table. You have no other choice but to acknowledge them. I've had instances where people online perceive me as something that I'm not, make wild accusations about me and my lifestyle, and criticize me simply because they can't see outside of their personal scope of things. Understandable, but doesn't do me any good, now does it? I've done the same thing to others - judged them based upon my take on their first impression instead of looking beyond what I perceive them to be. It's just that easy to do. And so that's how drama gets started - two sides refusing to see any truth outside their own. Having emotional issues to begin with only escalates it. Good intentions or not, the most important thing is to take into consideration the person on the other side of the internet. Sometimes good intentions don't mean anything compared to the result.
 
Doubt The Rabbit said:
Well, my idea is that it's simply easier to be selfish online. You're faced with only your own feelings and how you perceive other people to be. No one is exempt from that. Whereas in real life, another person's feelings - their countenance, their gestures, etc - are right there on the table. You have no other choice but to acknowledge them. I've had instances where people online perceive me as something that I'm not, make wild accusations about me and my lifestyle, and criticize me simply because they can't see outside of their personal scope of things. Understandable, but doesn't do me any good, now does it? I've done the same thing to others - judged them based upon my take on their first impression instead of looking beyond what I perceive them to be. It's just that easy to do. And so that's how drama gets started - two sides refusing to see any truth outside their own. Having emotional issues to begin with only escalates it. Good intentions or not, the most important thing is to take into consideration the person on the other side of the internet. Sometimes good intentions don't mean anything compared to the result.
Click to expand...

I know what you are saying but if you looked at 20 random posts on here, I would say 1 in 20 would end in a slanging match, which I don't see as a bad return really when you consider you are asking random strangers from around the world to discuss highly emotive subjects that are personal to them. Maybe you have been burnt in a couple of posts so feel more agrieved or maybe its more frequent than I am making out, I just see that figure as being a pretty good return.

I agree that people can hide behind their keyboard and say harsh thinsg to others, we have all seen trolling in practice. One counter point is I think you would struggle to find a community in the real world where you could just turn up and discuss your feelings in an open matter like this though. Anonymity has its benefits too, for people who struggle to open up it provides an opportunity for them to more openly express exactly how they feel, perhaps the only one.
 
One other thing I learned here that has benefited me irl is just how careful I have to be with what I say to others who are suffering. A lot of times, my brain says one thing, but when I express the thoughts into words it comes off in a negative way. It's not intentional.

I'm slowly starting to think more before I type. I think that all of us sometimes forget the fragility of the members here including myself, can be a little "Thin Skinned" from time to time.

I think it would do all of us a lot of good to realize that this forum has
a therapeutic and important function in all of our lives. Sometimes among all the bickering at times, we forget just how fortunate we are to have it.
 
The Good Citizen said:
Doubt The Rabbit said:
Well, my idea is that it's simply easier to be selfish online. You're faced with only your own feelings and how you perceive other people to be. No one is exempt from that. Whereas in real life, another person's feelings - their countenance, their gestures, etc - are right there on the table. You have no other choice but to acknowledge them. I've had instances where people online perceive me as something that I'm not, make wild accusations about me and my lifestyle, and criticize me simply because they can't see outside of their personal scope of things. Understandable, but doesn't do me any good, now does it? I've done the same thing to others - judged them based upon my take on their first impression instead of looking beyond what I perceive them to be. It's just that easy to do. And so that's how drama gets started - two sides refusing to see any truth outside their own. Having emotional issues to begin with only escalates it. Good intentions or not, the most important thing is to take into consideration the person on the other side of the internet. Sometimes good intentions don't mean anything compared to the result.
Click to expand...

I know what you are saying but if you looked at 20 random posts on here, I would say 1 in 20 would end in a slanging match, which I don't see as a bad return really when you consider you are asking random strangers from around the world to discuss highly emotive subjects that are personal to them. Maybe you have been burnt in a couple of posts so feel more agrieved or maybe its more frequent than I am making out, I just see that figure as being a pretty good return.
Click to expand...

Haha, that's not the case. In fact I am involved in as little drama as a person could be. What it is, is that the drama of which barb and I speak isn't just in the forums. Also, if you look through the closed threads sections, as well as seen posts before they've been "self-edited," you'll see there's a lot more going on than there seems. The mods are just being very careful of keeping these things out of the way so as to keep the experience of the other users positive. There's plenty of things going on behind the scenes and between users personally...we see them. You just have to take a look beyond what's out front.

But, yeah,considering the entire forum could've been in chaos by now, I'd say it's alright here. That wasn't to say that I ever thought the forum was bad. What I meant by my first post was that the drama that I know of has taught me that there will be drama everywhere, no matter what. No sense in holding my own tongue to avoid it, but at the same time, I like to take the time to consider what the other side means by what they say, and how to word my opinion in a way that doesn't offend as much as possible. If that fails, then I won't take it upon myself to feel guilty - whereas I used to feel very guilty for other people's misunderstanding of me before, I don't feel that way now.
That, to me, is an improvement.
 
Doubt The Rabbit said:
Haha, that's not the case. In fact I am involved in as little drama as a person could be. What it is, is that the drama of which barb and I speak isn't just in the forums. Also, if you look through the closed threads sections, as well as seen posts before they've been "self-edited," you'll see there's a lot more going on than there seems. The mods are just being very careful of keeping these things out of the way so as to keep the experience of the other users positive. There's plenty of things going on behind the scenes and between users personally...we see them. You just have to take a look beyond what's out front.

But, yeah,considering the entire forum could've been in chaos by now, I'd say it's alright here. That wasn't to say that I ever thought the forum was bad. What I meant by my first post was that the drama that I know of has taught me that there will be drama everywhere, no matter what. No sense in holding my own tongue to avoid it, but at the same time, I like to take the time to consider what the other side means by what they say, and how to word my opinion in a way that doesn't offend as much as possible. If that fails, then I won't take it upon myself to feel guilty - whereas I used to feel very guilty for other people's misunderstanding of me before, I don't feel that way now.
That, to me, is an improvement.
Click to expand...

Fair enough. I try to adopt the stance that there are no bad posters just bad posts, on another day its forgotten. Thats not always easy though, there's one on here who is just my antithesis I think everything they have ever posted i've completely disagreed with, but you never know, one day they might suprise me! :p
 
When it comes to drama some forum members love it.
They just sit back with their bag of Doritos and Red Bull and enjoy the show. They will never admit that conflict entertains them, but it does.

It's kind of like seeing your friend slip and fall on his ass on a sheet of ice spilling his $6 cup of coffee from Starbucks. It's hard not to laugh at their misfortune.
 
Not voting. No issues have been 'healed' since being here. If anything, stuff might have become worse?
 
Sterling said:
Not voting. No issues have been 'healed' since being here. If anything, stuff might have become worse?
Click to expand...
You just joined here. Give us a chance. Nobody is saying that we are licensed psychiatrists. We're better in my opinion. We also don't charge $300/hour just to walk into an office of one just to say hi.

 
LoneKiller said:
Sterling said:
Not voting. No issues have been 'healed' since being here. If anything, stuff might have become worse?
Click to expand...
You just joined here. Give us a chance. Nobody is saying that we are licensed psychiatrists. We're better in my opinion. We also don't charge $300/hour just to walk into an office of one to say hi..
Click to expand...

Actually she's been here longer than I have. :p It's just a new account. And I don't think I agree with us being better than licensed psychiatrists :rolleyes:
 

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