I can't deal with being ugly anymore.

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KawaiiHK

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If any of you would take the time to read all of this and give me advice, I'd appreciate it so much.

I can not deal with it anymore. I hate the horrible comments I get from friends and family... "Oh my god you're so ugly with no makeup on.." "You look like an old lady without makeup" "How could you get your boyfriend off looking like that? You look like a bird"

I hate having to hide behind makeup. I just wish I was more naturally pretty. I don't even need to be like the Victoria's Secret models or high fashion models with perfect features... I just wish I was NATURALLY that girl that most people would agree has a nice face.

People have told me I'd look prettier blonde, but being a blonde and personally ABSOLUTELY hating it, I have no intention on ever going back.

I have NO confidence when I don't wear makeup. I can barely even be intimate with my own boyfriend without makeup on, who is convinced I am beautiful. (I, honestly, just think it's because he's seen me with makeup on months prior to seeing it off)

I don't even let him watch porn anymore! After he saw me without makeup, my insecurities became so extreme that just thinking of him watching these attractive women that I'd never ever be... have sex.. It makes me want to throw up. I KNOW it's ridiculous to think this way... But I can't help it.

The worst part of it all, he's VERY attractive. Everywhere we go, girls stare at him. I ALWAYS see prettier girls checking him out or trying to flirt with him... And I hate seeing him check out a pretty girl, because I know she's more attractive than I am, AND he could get her if he wanted! That's why when I found out he had a "sex dream" about one of the prettiest girls in my town (she has EVERY boy drooling after her), I freaked out and cried.
I know he loves me for me, and the fact that he could get these girls if he wanted, and doesn't go for them, proves that. But I'm sure you all can see how horrible all of this makes me feel?

I've tried for months and months to start being more confident. I always try, always. It usually works for about a day and then I begin looking in the mirror and criticizing myself. I've heard every piece of advice in the book, and nothing's working. I'm starting to wonder if I'm hopeless and I'll never be happy with myself.

I know my situation could be worse. I could be in a 3rd world country, starving. But I can't help but hate life like this.


Not to look like an "attention whore"... And not to look like I'm fishing for compliments... here are my with and without makeup pictures. You have no obligation to comment on either, But just want to show how drastic the difference is.
Even my bf admits I look like a different person.

With makeup/hair/extensions done:
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/564410_3335702084970_1641124069_2723159_1766423114_n.jpg
http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho...251213756_1641124069_2683997_1843154001_n.jpg
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/421823_3135406637709_1641124069_2636360_516583655_n.jpg

Without (I still have light foundation on to cover my pimples and bad skin tone, but this is how I look for the most part):
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee306/cityzzinflames/Photoon4-11-12at149PM2.jpg
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee306/cityzzinflames/Photoon4-11-12at149PM.jpg
Also take into consideration it took about 20 minutes for me to take a somewhat acceptable picture. This is pretty nerve wracking for me considering I show almost no one what I look like when I'm like this.
 
I’d write more but I have to get started with work but for the record you look great without make-up. Models for the most part aren’t naturally pretty; you however have a natural beauty and I think the more you revel in it (the more you go without make-up) the sooner you’ll start accepting it.

Out of curiosity do you find the make-up has become like a mask you can hide behind?
 
Lost Drifter said:
I’d write more but I have to get started with work but for the record you look great without make-up. Models for the most part aren’t naturally pretty; you however have a natural beauty and I think the more you revel in it (the more you go without make-up) the sooner you’ll start accepting it.

Out of curiosity do you find the make-up has become like a mask you can hide behind?

Thank you so much.
As for your question, I'd say yes, in a way. After being called hideous and ugly my entire life, I turned to make up. For about 3 years of my life I worked on changing how I look in every way I could, to hide the girl I once was, so I could be accepted and called beautiful... So boys and girls alike would look at me and think "wow, she's pretty!". The difference in how people treat me now and how I was treated then is so drastic... The thought of attempting to go backis honestly scary... I'm afraid my confidence will plummet further once I find out what people think of the real me.
 
KawaiiHK said:
I'm afraid my confidence will plummet further once I find out what people think of the real me.

As someone who has worn a mask for many years (in my case a mask of confidence) all I can say is that if people aren’t willing to accept the real you behind the mask then they’re not people worth having in your life. It starts off great, a complete safety net but sooner or later the cracks will show and you’ll be forced to face yourself. That can be difficult for a lot of people, not that I’m saying you have anything to fear, but some people get so used to the mask that they never find comfort with their true selves.

I understand the protection it gives you, I really do but be who you want to be, not who you think others want you to be.
 
Have you ever seen some of these celebrities without make up, they too look like a completely different person. I don't see why people call you ugly. Maybe they don't like how you style your hair, or they are just jealous of you, or just complete jerks who'd rather put someone down. But the important thing here is that your boyfriend thinks you are pretty, that's what counts. Don't listen to the others.
 
honeysuckle, i like you better without make up.

Your'e cuter! Actually, gorgeous even.

So, what're you doing next friday? :3

 
I looked at the last two pictures, and you look like any other person I'd see in the stores. Looks like your hair was in a wind tunnel for a few hours though.

Also, many people have the misconception that they should hide their skin flaws with make up, when in reality, the make up is making your skin worse. There's no possible way that a foreign substance - no matter how natural they claim it is - is good and healthy when it's caked in all your pores.
 
I can relate to this so much... I wish I had something more constructive to say.

Just know that this is something you must work on and fight for yourself. Whatever it takes. If you don't, your insecurities will eventually push people that love you the most away. Don't let them consume your life.
 
I think you look so cute w/o makeup!
I'm being honest, so I'll say if you wear makeup, *I think* it would look better if it were toned down a bit! haha :) That is just *my* opinion though. I prefer a more natural look.
I think I look horrible with a lot of makeup. I can never get it right. I just try to wear base (just powder if I can) or a tinted moisturizer with a little liner and mascara.
I'm not sure why anyone would call you ugly. Maybe you are like me and make mean faces! lol
People may just say that stuff because they know it bothers you. They may just think it's fun to get a "rise out of you" and not know that it actually hurts you. Maybe when someone says something like that, you can just act like it does not bother you. If you are comfortable and think the person is understanding, tell them that it really does hurt you and makes you self-conscience.
 
First, you look great with the naked face. You still have that freshness of youth to your face- adorable!

Second, you are lucky in that your face has wonderful bone structure and symmetry - the shape of the face from the cheekbones tapering down to your chin is a classically attractive shape. Trust me, when you are a little bit older, you'll realize what a great gift good bone structure is!

Lost Drifter said:
Out of curiosity do you find the make-up has become like a mask you can hide behind?


So many of us do this. I don't happen to use makeup as a mask, but I do wear glasses instead of contacts as a shield.

VanillaCreme said:
Also, many people have the misconception that they should hide their skin flaws with make up, when in reality, the make up is making your skin worse. There's no possible way that a foreign substance - no matter how natural they claim it is - is good and healthy when it's caked in all your pores.


+1,000. This is SO true. Despite what the Neutrogena commercials try to tell you, it is not good for your skin to be heavily caked with stuff. I know a woman my age (43), who is always heavily made-up: moisturizer, primer, foundation, bronzer, blush AND finishing powder (plus all the lipstick and eye makeup), and when all the war paint is off, her skin is absolutely ravaged. She looks years older without the makeup, and with the makeup on, she looks orange. She hates having her husband see her without makeup, so she gets up at the ass-crack of dawn so that she has full war paint on by the time he gets up.

What the hell?

Ox Blood said:
I can relate to this so much... I wish I had something more constructive to say.

Just know that this is something you must work on and fight for yourself. Whatever it takes. If you don't, your insecurities will eventually push people that love you the most away. Don't let them consume your life.

^^^ What she said.

It sounds like such a cliche, but it is true- real beauty lies within. We can do a lot to work on the physical appearance, but how we feel about ourselves has a huge affect on not only how we see ourselves, but also how others see us.

Anecdote: I am always prettier/ more attractive when I am in love.

The times I had people actively compliment me on my appearance were almost always when I was just in the beginning stages of a relationship. Those times were when I would wake up with that "I feel pretty" feeling, and it really does show. There was no real physical difference in my appearance between that day and, say, the week earlier when I was unattached, but the way I felt about myself had changed, and it made a difference in how attractive I was.

Seems weird, I know.

*hugs*
 
I think you DO have natural beauty! I don't understand why anyone would call you ugly. You have a "real" look to you without it and it's pretty. I hope that makes sense. A way to explain it is when girls do their makeup with alot around the eyes, they all look the same to me in pictures. You look good both ways, but you have a younger, innocent, cuter look to you without it..and I think guys would fall for that over makeup. :)

I was like you when I was a teenager. I wasn't called ugly by my family but people at school would say tease me about my hair and all of it's flyaways, and other silly comments. So I got into doing the makeup thing and too much of it. I felt better at the time, but it wasn't "me". Makeup can be fun, don't get me wrong..but feeling like I can't leave without it on isn't good. Especially with such a large amount. I had to find something that was in between extreme and no makeup. I can go out with no makeup but I prefer to put some coverup and a little mascara on. Bottem line though, I do it for myself , not because I feel I have to or somebody will say I'm ugly.

What is your natural hair color? If you have naturally dark hair, going blonde isn't good for it anyways. I think you look good as you are.
 
Photoon4-11-12at149PM.jpg


This is you without makeup and you're out of your mind if you think you're even approaching ugly here. You look really good, just a bit on the GLOOMY side. But I like that (and the other without makeup pic) much more than your makeup pics.

Two suggestions.
#1 Eradicate the gloomy countenances. This is by far the MOST important one of the two. What's within is key. It's not how you look. It's how you feel about how you look that's the problem here.

#2 Play with your hair!
[video=youtube]


Leave the makeup out of the picture. If you have skin issues, try to find healthy remedies to repair your natural state of skin.
 
I think you have a really nice face and such lovely big eyes. Your friends and family ought to be praising you to the skies instead of putting you down.
 
I can understand how it feels, but it is completely all in your head, trust me you'll feel a lot better when you gradually stop caring about it.
 
I can see your boyfriend saying you are pretty while you yourself think you aren't. People are always more critical of themselves than they are of others when it comes to looks. I think you look better without the honeysuckle you're putting on around your eyes but that's just me.

I do like the hair extensions, but only because I love non natural colors. :D I wish more places of business would let their employees dye it how they wanted.
 
You are beautiful, for sure. Maybe people are so used to seeing you with the makeup that it shocks them when you dont wear it. It have a friend, shes pretty but always has mascara on. sometimes when she doesnt put it on, people ask if she is sick or if she is depressed.

I suggest you slowly, tone down the makeup, lighten it up gradualy, and people will get used to it. Anyway the comment you said you got are just mean, these people would probably find something else to put you down with . They are probably jelous cause you got a hot guy, dont let them destroy your self confidence, you are pretty, trust me.
 
Another voice for your prettiness. I think you look better without the make-up. Please don't think you're ugly.
 
i know you will probably think i am just saying this to be nice but that is not the case. i dont think you are ugly, i think you are cute actually.
 
Thank you so much everyone. All of your kind words and advice really help. Sometimes it's better hearing advice from people you don't know...
I'm sorry for not replying to anyone in particular... I didn't have a computer for a while after I made the post..
You all really gave me some confidence I didn't have while I was making the thread. I'll continue to work on my self confidence further I suppose >.<
 

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