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Its all going wrong!
#11
That's life, it sucks sometimes. It seems like every time you take a step forward something knocks you two steps back.

What I've found is just living in the good moments and sucking the life out of them. Cause you always know something is going to go wrong eventually. It always does. Even if it's a small thing it can hit you like a ton of bricks.

Don't focus on the negative, we make mistakes, we fail at times, it's because we are human. It's what you take from the mistakes and failures that count. You learn from them and grow. It is hard to do, to not let the negative get you down. It takes a lot of practice, it's all a mind game. You have to talk yourself out of the bad and find the good you can take away from it. Turn every negative into a positive.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

[Image: p5XQ_g.gif]
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#12
I'm on holiday here AL-23, so can't answer you fully (having to pay for internet), but 1. so you've had a proper gf (one up on me)
2. Hang on in there and keep fighting.
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#13
i dont know if GA NA or AA r avaliable in the
UK.
I do understand addiction.
It pretty much dedtroyed my life and
the people i love...

i can relate to you from my own experince.
I also know recovery is posible snd you don't
have to do it alone.

Everybody have their own bottom.
Bottoms are never pretty.
It is however a turning piont.

at 27..you still have so much life
ahead of you..
Some people do stop until theyre 40 or 50.
Some people never stop.


If you lost everything....you have
everything to gain.
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#14
Well,there ARE other mind altering substances,some very powerful, but I would suggest doing this on your own.
I have destroyed myself before so i can relate to what you're saying, it surprises me how well I destroyed myself,lost myself. The way I got out of it was to let go of the compulsive behaviour, I decided to only do what I feel and never act or play a role in this life.
Hell I haven't completelly got where I want to with myself still anyway.
Quote:Theres a lot of "negative" experiences from my past that I have hidden away in hopes that they never see the light of day but maybe thats what they need
I found that I really needed that and it has helped me feel emotion again.
Maybe you need to let go a bit, I mean maybe lettig yourself drift wil get you where you should be, the happy place Smile
I really feel and relate to what you're going through, good luck
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#15
(04-18-2012, 01:24 AM)Sci-Fi Wrote: That's life, it sucks sometimes.

What I've found is just living in the good moments and sucking the life out of them. Cause you always know something is going to go wrong eventually. It always does. Even if it's a small thing it can hit you like a ton of bricks.
Don't focus on the negative
You have to talk yourself out of the bad and find the good you can take away from it. Turn every negative into a positive.
Yes life sucks sometimes, even for those successful people in the world with cash to splash, who own huge houses, numerous sports and luxury cars, the latest and greatest gadgets and women/men falling at their feet! But what if your life sucks most times? That I guess is when it's a problem that needs tackling and rightly said, focusing on the negatives will only waste energy which I need to maneuver a ton of bricks!

(04-18-2012, 06:37 AM)In a lonely place Wrote: I'm on holiday here AL-23, so can't answer you fully (having to pay for internet), but 1. so you've had a proper gf (one up on me)
2. Hang on in there and keep fighting.
Thanks for the encouraging words In a lonely place. I look forward to when you return and do answer fullyWink

(04-18-2012, 03:38 PM)Lonesome Crow Wrote: i dont know if GA NA or AA r avaliable in the
UK.
I do understand addiction.
It pretty much dedtroyed my life and
the people i love...
Everybody have their own bottom.
Bottoms are never pretty.
It is however a turning piont.
at 27..you still have so much life
ahead of you..
Some people do stop until theyre 40 or 50.
Some people never stop.

If you lost everything....you have
everything to gain.
They do have GA here in the uk but I haven't got myself into huge amounts of debt, yet, nor have I stolen to feed my gambling addiction and to be honest I feel they'll laugh me out the room.
One thing I believe is there is no such thing as rock bottom, well apart from death! Someone or some situation can always get worse. Death in my opinion is rock bottom and when you hit it, you won't even be able to worry or care!

(04-18-2012, 09:26 PM)beautifulsorrow Wrote: Well,there ARE other mind altering substances,some very powerful, but I would suggest doing this on your own.
I have destroyed myself before so i can relate to what you're saying, it surprises me how well I destroyed myself,lost myself. The way I got out of it was to let go of the compulsive behaviour, I decided to only do what I feel and never act or play a role in this life.
Hell I haven't completelly got where I want to with myself still anyway.
Quote:Theres a lot of "negative" experiences from my past that I have hidden away in hopes that they never see the light of day but maybe thats what they need
I found that I really needed that and it has helped me feel emotion again.
Maybe you need to let go a bit, I mean maybe lettig yourself drift wil get you where you should be, the happy place Smile
I really feel and relate to what you're going through, good luck
When you speak of letting go, letting myself drift it cunjures feelings of non-resistance. Almost like just losing control, which is interesting because maybe I'm putting too much effort into controlling things beyond my control and stressing out about it? I need to think some more on this!
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#16
Quote:When you speak of letting go, letting myself drift it cunjures feelings of non-resistance. Almost like just losing control, which is interesting because maybe I'm putting too much effort into controlling things beyond my control and stressing out about it? I need to think some more on this!
Try this: Every once in a while sit crossed legged somehwere nice and quiet and just close your eyes and float aroud, let go, try thinking of the world as going round at the moment just like you are sitting at that moment, I mean try to get in the moment and notice that you're actually part of it all, because we tend to only live in our own little universe sometimes.
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#17
K...once I admit i have a problem and my life had became fucked up.

But...i'll get triggers or those fucked up feelings hits me out of nowhere.
I'll cope with my feelings by solving my prolems the sameway Ive done
in the past over and over and over again.
Then I'll wake up the next day and go.....Fuck, i went and fucked up again.
I might go through this process for weeks to years...
I'll either get sick and tired of being sick and tired of do the same old shit again and again....
ANO/OR feeling and thinking I'm a wacked job for so doing the samething and expecting
a different results.

Let go?
Its hard to let go of something and/or someone you love.
Simple allow yourself yourself to feel Loved.
I can admit I love my addictions as I love someone. Its my truth and honesty


I turn it over/let go...I take it back.
I turn it over/let go...I take it back
I turn t over/let go ...I take it back

I'll also go through this process for days to weeks or months.

Feelling tired, werry and beaten trying to control my life
but no matter what i do ...even with the best of intentions
It gets fucked up anyway.

I'll come to a rest on my own. Kind of like a storm that burned itself out.

I cant figure it out anymore.
I cant fight myself anymore.
I cant fight addictions anymore.
I cant fight the people I love anymore.

As i lay still..In perfect weakeness, i surrender it all. LET GO...

God strength is perfect in my weakness....( Im not religious)
Some term this as GOD, my HIGHER SELF, the POWER of the UNIVERSE...ect

So...whatever it is. I certainly dont wanna do the same old shit again. The price got way way to high.
Getting out of the way of miracles. Im (ego) really good at standing in my own way.
Being humble....that's not me. I have pride....of getting put in checkmate over and over again.lol

Wheather its' heaven, unconditional love or a better payoff...
You gatta give me payoffs of the ultimate jackpot.
I still want whAT i want and I want it now!!!!!!

Really....I can have what I want...if i get the fuck out of the way?
Thats a new concept. It's different that's for sure.
The more you show me signs of improvements...the more I'll get out of the way?
Faith????
I'm open to receive all the goodness in life....Give it to me.lol
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#18
I've been looking around the forum and found someone's thread who described their situation almost identical to mine http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-28yrs-...ll-to-late.
I tend to feel alone in my "problems" but I'm not alone and also It was said that 30 is the new 20 Toungue I have time to make mistakes and lets be honest we will all make a mistake here and there even at the ripe old age of 60years+
We're all struggling to make a good life for ourselves and what with these economic times its not easy but the economy will pick up again just like the sun will arrive again and I will meet each day with the hope of bettering myself from the last.
Today, after losing more money in the betting shops and having to walk home with empty pockets and a punctured tire in the rain I took cover under a cemetry chapel here.. http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/a...3f3ff8.jpg and as I looked at the tombstones and memorials I started to think about my own. Would I prefer to be buried or cremated? What would be written on my stone of memorial. This meant the most to me and I came to the idea of a message which simply states... "You who are alive, remember to live".
I will use that statement as the fuel that keeps me going from now on!
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