Lonely/ awkward even in the presence of others?

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Lonely Boy from OZ

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So I decided to take my parents out to a nice restaurant in the city today just after xmas. When we got there basically we were surrounded by teenagers, beautiful rich people and loud outgoing and somehow annoying extroverts.

I happen to be shy myself, so are my parents. I just felt very awkward tonight. Even when I try communicate with my parents its very hard especially when they dont have that much to say or when they cannot here me, I happen to have a quiet voice as well. Its not that their bad ppl no, its just that we dont really talk much at all :(.

I dont mind the company of my parents but I just feel like Im being judge especially by these young teenagers and young adults. I just feel like their whispering behind my back like OOOH look @ MUMMA's boy over here.

Is it normal to hang around with your parents @ 20 lol stupid question, but as I see most young ones today they prefer to be in the company of their friends and boys well they like to hang around with their GFs lucky them they get to have the girls :rolleyes: :(

I just felt so awkward. I just find it so difficult to communicate with my parents, and also there aint that much communication happening around the household.

I have this theory that sometimes some people can help bring the best of us, make us act like that we are extroverts, smart, friendly cause we are comfortable being around them and some people can bring the worse of you like for example you just don't feel comfortable with that person or group. Sometimes when I hang around with a group I dont get along I start to be clumsy, quiet, even worse feeling that I am being pressured to talk and I end up STTTTUUUUTTTERRRRINGG!!!! Aarrrrggggghhhhh I hate stuterring, I happen to do that alot these days its SOOOOOO FRUSSSSSSTRRRAAAAAAATTTTTTTTIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!! Like I get the right words out I think, but I end up saying it in the wrong way like the words from my mouth might sound funny or strange or just plain different, and ppl find it hard to understand what Im saying sometimes. Like bored might sound like boar, wall might sound like War lol, rubber might sound like lover lol u know what im getting @.

But I ended up breaking the ice with my dad just after desert, talking about 60s-80s music, future concerts and gigs and World War II, Vietnam war stuff lol.

So yeah do you feel uncomfortable, socially awkward when your around some people??????
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
I dont mind the company of my parents but I just feel like Im being judge especially by these young teenagers and young adults. I just feel like their whispering behind my back like OOOH look @ MUMMA's boy over here.

Is it normal to hang around with your parents @ 20 lol stupid question, but as I see most young ones today they prefer to be in the company of their friends and boys well they like to hang around with their GFs lucky them they get to have the girls :rolleyes: :(
If you feel proud and good to be out with your parents, it shouldn't matter what others think. And that shouldn't lead you to care so much about how others react to you hanging out with your parents.

Lonely Boy from OZ said:
So yeah do you feel uncomfortable, socially awkward when your around some people??????
I used to feel like this when I was younger..more cos I was shy. Sometimes it still occurs to me now and then, but most times I just don't think about the people around me or what they'd think of me. I try to be more daring in terms of facing strangers outside. Lol but there are still times I'd get awkward too, depending on situations :rolleyes:
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
So I decided to take my parents out to a nice restaurant in the city today just after xmas. When we got there basically we were surrounded by teenagers, beautiful rich people and loud outgoing and somehow annoying extroverts.

I happen to be shy myself, so are my parents. I just felt very awkward tonight. Even when I try communicate with my parents its very hard especially when they dont have that much to say or when they cannot here me, I happen to have a quiet voice as well. Its not that their bad ppl no, its just that we dont really talk much at all :(.

There are plenty of others out there like that. One example being me and my own various family members (whenever I see them around, which is never) hardly ever have a word to say. Deafening silence can be comforting.


Lonely Boy from OZ said:
I dont mind the company of my parents but I just feel like Im being judge especially by these young teenagers and young adults. I just feel like their whispering behind my back like OOOH look @ MUMMA's boy over here.

Nah. You will find that most everyone in public is usually too absorbed in their own business to even notice you, let alone be nit-picky about you. I'm aware of the dread social insecurity can cause, but trust me when I say that those younger folk you've obviously been scarred by in the past grow the hell up eventually, then look back on their days of quietly mocking people out with their parents in complete ******* embarrassment. Sort of like when you think back to primary school and roll your eyes at the fact that you used to laugh at jokes about the planet 'Uranus'.


Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Is it normal to hang around with your parents @ 20 lol stupid question, but as I see most young ones today they prefer to be in the company of their friends and boys well they like to hang around with their GFs lucky them they get to have the girls :rolleyes: :(

It's neither normal nor abnormal. You are who you are.. even if you are intimidated by people around your age and their social abilities that you may lack. While some people would sing karaoke at a bar 'til the cows come home, others would have a panic attack if anyone even remotely pressures them in to standing up in front of a crowd. The next time you're out with your parents, look past the groups of young people and pick out others you see that look shy, or are with their parents. They're out there, and in my experience it does lift the esteem a bit knowing that you're not the only one who keeps to himself and the people he's familiar with.


Lonely Boy from OZ said:
I just felt so awkward. I just find it so difficult to communicate with my parents, and also there aint that much communication happening around the household.

I have this theory that sometimes some people can help bring the best of us, make us act like that we are extroverts, smart, friendly cause we are comfortable being around them and some people can bring the worse of you like for example you just don't feel comfortable with that person or group. Sometimes when I hang around with a group I dont get along I start to be clumsy, quiet, even worse feeling that I am being pressured to talk and I end up STTTTUUUUTTTERRRRINGG!!!! Aarrrrggggghhhhh I hate stuterring, I happen to do that alot these days its SOOOOOO FRUSSSSSSTRRRAAAAAAATTTTTTTTIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!

Anxiety's a *****. The way it plays with your thoughts, memory, and body before scrambling you like an egg, making you out to be somebody you really are not.


Lonely Boy From OZ said:
Like I get the right words out I think, but I end up saying it in the wrong way like the words from my mouth might sound funny or strange or just plain different, and ppl find it hard to understand what Im saying sometimes. Like bored might sound like boar, wall might sound like War lol, rubber might sound like lover lol u know what im getting @.

I know exactly what you're getting at with pretty much everything you said above from past experience. While I'm not the same person today, the memories will always be there. It's a pretty shitty thing to experience day in and day out, yet positive + frequent social interaction over time is ironically the best thing for social anxiety.


I have been on these forums on and off for a few months now. I'm not the type to introduce myself to anyone, nor am I filled with optimism or enthusiasm, so I can understand as to why I get so few replies, and am generally ignored. I don't like it, and it only further diminishes any hope I may have to meet people I can care about and respect, but hey, honeysuckle happens.

Mind you, I would figure that this place of all places would be where you could find some company, even if in textual form. People either don't know how to deal with me, don't care to, or both. If it's one of the latter two options, then fresia 'em. I'm a jaded person so even posting replies / communicating online is a hell of an effort for me, especially when my posts are disregarded.

My point? - Yes, I am lonely in the presence of others, too. Even online, which is quite pathetic from most perspectives.

Whereabouts in Australia are you?
If you're on the west side (represent, 'yo), maybe we can grab a beer somewhere some day.
 
Wow a perth boy?? :D

Hows things in the BIG W? u follow West Coast or the Dockers?

What do you think of Ben Cousins? And Chris Judd going back to Victoria :p

Sorry man, Im actually on the eastern side of the country, Im in brisbane 3000 km from Perth I think :( and I follow the Lions and League considering QLD is Rugby Territory.

Yeah social anxiety sucks big time man, feel like every1s watching me all the time. Feels like every1 is judging me and listening to everything I'm saying. So its preety hard to act like myself when I'm out in public. If I hang out like in gigs or in concerts or movies then I can totally be myself cause most ppl are focused on the bands playin or the movie so I dont have to talk or do anything ESPECIAL in those situations. Plus its dark so no one can really see me, and we start pushin each other around the Mosh and nobody cares :D:D

But if your in West as in Western Suburbs :D then we can pop down to the pub
 
Yeah ur right Mink it shouldnt matter. Only prob though is dat I still live with my parents and I'm already 20 :(

I shouldve started planning 3 yrs ago when I finished high school, now I have to start all over again. 3 wasted years aaaarrgghhh lol :(

Sorry for the vent..
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Wow a perth boy??

Hows things in the BIG W? u follow West Coast or the Dockers?

What do you think of Ben Cousins? And Chris Judd going back to Victoria

Sorry man, Im actually on the eastern side of the country, Im in brisbane 3000 km from Perth I think and I follow the Lions and League considering QLD is Rugby Territory.

Yeah social anxiety sucks big time man, feel like every1s watching me all the time. Feels like every1 is judging me and listening to everything I'm saying. So its preety hard to act like myself when I'm out in public. If I hang out like in gigs or in concerts or movies then I can totally be myself cause most ppl are focused on the bands playin or the movie so I dont have to talk or do anything ESPECIAL in those situations. Plus its dark so no one can really see me, and we start pushin each other around the Mosh and nobody cares.

But if your in West as in Western Suburbs then we can pop down to the pub

Unfortunately I'm actually on the west coast, so we won't be heading down to the tavern for that beer any time soon. D'oh. :(

To be honest, I don't really follow the football, even when I can't avoid the ridiculously over-the-top media coverage on Ben Cousins' debacles. I'm more a cricket man, which is actually a hell of a spectator sport with a few beers under the belt, and even better to play. Nothing like the satisfaction of picturing somebody or something you despise in your head while you smack the ball off the meat of the bat for six. The ball seems to go further under those circumstances. :)

If I had to choose a footy team, I'd pick the Eagles because of their sweet-looking Away-Game jerseys. Yes, I am a shallow whore when it comes to football.
I wouldn't mind playing state of origin as I could never get in to watching it, but it's not that big here in WA so the choices of clubs to join in regional West Oz are pretty **** limited. What footy teams do you follow?

I haven't attended many concerts and the like, but you're spot on about being able to loosen up while around people with a common interest. In fact, you're so right, that I'm going to have to recommend you go to gigs that you enjoy as often as you bloody can :).. I have no doubt it'd be doing you a lot of good, and there's always the odd chance of making new mates if you make yourself open to conversation. Go hard, son. :cool:

As for living with parents, my advice to you is to stay at home for as long as possible (providing you're comfortable) because of the sheer expenses living on your own brings nowadays. Renting isn't cheap, especially not over there, and prices won't be coming down any time soon. My neighbours actually moved over from Queensland to ease the strain on their finances that renting / buying over east brings. Thanks to the mining boom however, our prices are starting to skyrocket, too.

Coming back to my original point - Try not to put yourself under any pressure to move out of home because of your age. A hell of a lot of youth that move out now find themselves being unable to cope with all the extra hassles living independently brings and subsequently move back home. :p
I know a few people and have heard of many more that are still living at home even when they are 25+. Although mainly for practical reasons (like cost-cutting), some parents actually encourage their kids to live at home until they're married, or even indefinitely. Living on your own isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've been on my own since I was 16 (now 23) and I can tell you that while your own space has it's perks, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

'Til next time, look after yourself, and keep your chin up pal. :)
 
Lol I dont like Freo colours, both their home and away guernsey's are pretty much a turnoff. I like West coasts home guernsey, it looks preety awesome

300px-West_Coast-2007.gif


But their away is just awesome too

eaglesaway.jpg


And as for my favourite team well...... The Greatest team of all time :p

Michael%20Voss.jpg

urlthumbnail_id_1061059725671_voss,0.jpg

r135269_456364.jpg

lions2003.jpg

Gabba9A_small.jpg


3 premierships in a row (2001,2002, 2003) :p beat that WCE

Btw as you are a cricket fan, Australia is on top of India on day 2 of the Melbourne Test match. Shame though u dont get much Rugby League in W.A. I dont think they played a Pro League game over there for years. And as for the State of Origin its only a QLD- NSW thing.

Up here in QLD we have a mixed of everything from Rugby Union, Cricket, League, soccer and AFL. So I guest theres a bit of everything, not like Adelaide though where its 100% Footy on the winter, and then 100% cricket in the summer and no rugby union and definitely no rugby league.

In QLD we have about 3 teams, 2 of those teams (Brisbane Broncos and Gold Coast Titans) are close to where I live so we have a very good league scene up here in Brissy. Plus we either have 1 or 2 state of origin games up here as well every year.

Havent been to a state of Origin match yet, but am planning to go to State of Origin 2 next year, cant wait. But Ive been to this years NRL GRAND FINAL.

Oh also theres a proposal to have a 2nd AFL team up here on the Gold Coast most likely by 2010 or 2011 and a 2nd soccer team as well to enter the A-league probably as early as the 2008-2009 season.

Oh yeah sorry for getting carried away lol, goin back to my point I am definitely working on moving out in the next few years preferably your age at 23, just need to start saving up as much as I can and get myself a good full time paying job and be a bit more social, get a GF and work on gettin my university degree I stopped for like a year because I was going through Depression. I dont wish it to happen to anyone, and I am still going through it from time to time but it is torture everyday. Theres nothing worse than to feel lonely, worthless and dead inside.

But about moving out again, I think the average age last time I check for ppl moving out in Australia and I think the UK also is 27 yrs old and I'm kinda shocked when Ive found out. I thought the avg was like 18 Lol, but its good that 27 is today's trend I guest, gives me a good 6-7 years to prepare.

Take care pal and say hello to Western Australia for me. :cool:
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
So yeah do you feel uncomfortable, socially awkward when your around some people??????
I used to. when I was under roof of my ex-family.
Than when I started living on my own( ok...I was kicked out to the street whan I was ...I think 21, lived in shelter for a year) that type of life pushes u to open ur mouth breaking trough all the walls of shiness or what ever. well, I don't know, that's how I got rid of my fear that someone might laugh at me. People who are suddenly faced with such life threatening obsticals have no choice but learn to call everybody a ***** and stop caring what other people think of them. I like that


I had no idea that I had a hidden talant of bitching in me. I always believed what my aunt told me with her facial expressions that I was a timid scared shy helpless weak little girl and that I needed her to decide how to live my life.
u will never know who u are until faced with life threatening situation or pushed to the limit, then u can discover power and strenghts that u have no idea u possessed.
 
Before i dont have any trouble mingling with people. But when Migrate here in the US I became shy when it comes to having a conversiation with people the same as my age. but when it come to grown up's, im perfectly out going. I could have them be with me and just have a good convesiation. That is why a lot of my friends here in the United States are mostly 5-15 years older than me. but im happy though, because i learn alot from them.
 
Lonely Boy from OZ said:
I happen to be shy myself, so are my parents. I just felt very awkward tonight. Even when I try communicate with my parents its very hard.

I'm the same. I still live with my parents (i'm 21) and we have very little to talk about. When we go out, just the 3 of us, it's really awkward. Usually I only like to go out on family dinners and things like that when I know my sisters can come too - that way they can do all the talking, there are no awkward silences, and I just sit and listen to their conversations.

Lonely Boy from OZ said:
I dont mind the company of my parents but I just feel like Im being judge especially by these young teenagers and young adults. I just feel like their whispering behind my back like OOOH look @ MUMMA's boy over here.
Is it normal to hang around with your parents @ 20 lol stupid question, but as I see most young ones today they prefer to be in the company of their friends and boys well they like to hang around with their GFs lucky them they get to have the girls :rolleyes: :(

I just felt so awkward. I just find it so difficult to communicate with my parents, and also there aint that much communication happening around the household.

Yeah, I think I know exactly how you feel. I don't mind the company of my parents either, but sometimes I hate having to do stuff with them. I mean, I love them and stuff, but sometimes I feel like "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm 21, still living at home and hanging out with my parents :/". My sisters always tell me i'm being rude to them, but its different for them cos they dont live at home anymore so they only see my parents about twice a month. I guess I'm just at the stage where I really need my own space so, yeah, I do get a bit snappy at them for no reason. I always feel bad after.


Lonely Boy from OZ said:
Sometimes when I hang around with a group I dont get along I start to be clumsy, quiet, even worse feeling that I am being pressured to talk and I end up STTTTUUUUTTTERRRRINGG!!!! Aarrrrggggghhhhh I hate stuterring, I happen to do that alot these days its SOOOOOO FRUSSSSSSTRRRAAAAAAATTTTTTTTIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!

This happens to me all the time!!!!
 

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