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Fvantom

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
315
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Location
Orlando Florida
I regret to say Im leaving this forum, over the last few days Ive been judged, talk down upon, basically torn into, and its at the point where every new thread I make gets attacked pretty quickly. I dont make these threads to attack anyone, nor do I want to be judged, simply understood. Theres been far too much negativity and I just dont have time for it.

Ill keep my account open to talk to the few friends Ive made on here, as well as tend to the last few threads Ive made, but other than that, you wont be seeing much of me anymore...thank you.
 
It's extremely difficult, i've found, for anyone to understand other human beings. We may want to, but in the end we always approach it from our own perspective. The only thing i've ever found to help me in this matter is to talk to and get close to people, to listen to them, be warm, care. Oh and listen. Always listen, and then listen some more, until I can understand. It requires humility, and time, lots of time.
 
"well never understand what somebody goes through, so we should never judge them" Ive learned that recently and have been living by it ever since. Unfortunately, many others havent and Ive seen that on the forums far too often lately
 
Fvantom said:
"well never understand what somebody goes through, so we should never judge them" Ive learned that recently and have been living by it ever since. Unfortunately, many others havent and Ive seen that on the forums far too often lately

Well...

Other people don't "get it" I guess and we have to live in a world that doesn't see or understand that. It's difficult to live in a world like this.

I had to yell at someone at facebook that told one of my childhood friends that they were "tired of them being sad and that they ewre being ridiculous." The girl had just gotten out of a relationship. Geez, you're SUPPOSED to be sad when that occurs. Either let her be sad or be a friend and be there for her/cheer her up, but don't tell her not to be sad.

-_-

I was called an idiot and that my head was far up my ass. But, my friend Messaged me and thanked me, so, I felt validated.

 
I dont judge, but Ill still defend someone who needs it.

the problem is that other people, for the most part, will never "get it" because until youve been alone, or depressed, or suicidal, youll never be able to understand what thats like. Believe me Ive dealt with more than my fair share of those types that judge depressed people, which honestly just makes us way more depressed, because now the idea that our depression is a burden on everyone is eating away at us too
 
We all judge, even you, even me.

You know, even people that've been depressed can "not get it". It never ceases to amaze me the kinds of intollerance I see and hear online from the most astonishing places.

But yes, we can be treated as though we are a burden. I learned that a long time ago, when a boyfriend dumped me when i was 17 saying by way of explanation that i was too moody. That was the beginning of closing myself off (maybe not a bad thing. Maybe it taught me emotional boundaries). People can only handle so much, and not much at that.

For me, I am who I am inside, but I don't talk to people about it when it gets really bad to the point where it would affect others. I just hold it inside because i feel as though no one else gives a crap (notice how no one else has yet to post in this thread of yours) or it would affect them negatively, but the largest factor in why i hold it inside is fear of being judged or being made to feel misunderstood, which has been proven to me time and time and time and time again.

Maybe I have a thin skin, but i never ever reveal all aspects of myself to anyone anymore. Those days are gone when people were able to see the whole of myself. It hurt too much to do that. Too vulnerable, too many emotions.

No, not anymore.

Here is the edited Soph.
 
If the timestamps on these posts are correct, I think it would make sense that not many people had replied to it yet. Most of us were probably asleep. :p

I think I only really skimmed through your other threads, so I can't really comment one way or another, but good luck in your future endeavours and whatever forums you end up in later on.
 
Ak5 said:
Ouch Fvantom. But I'm glad you're staying. :)

I want to continue PMing you lol.

of course, no point in deleting the account, that way I can still message you, Im just not going to be making any threads or post in any (except maybe a few general threads) for a while, Im just getting too much crap
 
I only skimmed as well. I get the feeling you get too mad by the opinions you don't like. You also seek approval and validation, most likely because of the unfortunate situation you suffered with your parents.
All I can come up now is... you need to be more independent and not let it affect you. you need to make yourself stronger before you put yourself out there. Validation needs to come from your own self. Others can't really know you in real life, even less trough a forum. It's only expectable that their opinions will not be accurate.
Good luck :)
 
Felix said:
I only skimmed as well. I get the feeling you get too mad by the opinions you don't like. You also seek approval and validation, most likely because of the unfortunate situation you suffered with your parents.
All I can come up now is... you need to be more independent and not let it affect you. you need to make yourself stronger before you put yourself out there. Validation needs to come from your own self. Others can't really know you in real life, even less trough a forum. It's only expectable that their opinions will not be accurate.
Good luck :)

thank you, but thats my point exactly, Im not here to be told whats wrong with me, I already know all of that, I go to these forums for support, not to be told I have to change.

Its true, I do seek validation and thats due to my past, but everyone always tells me I have to change, everyone wanting to change me into a different person, Ive never had anyone tell me that Im great the way I am. Thats exactly why I have self hate at all, you cant tell someone to love themselves if you want them to change.
 
Fvantom said:
Felix said:
I only skimmed as well. I get the feeling you get too mad by the opinions you don't like. You also seek approval and validation, most likely because of the unfortunate situation you suffered with your parents.
All I can come up now is... you need to be more independent and not let it affect you. you need to make yourself stronger before you put yourself out there. Validation needs to come from your own self. Others can't really know you in real life, even less trough a forum. It's only expectable that their opinions will not be accurate.
Good luck :)

thank you, but thats my point exactly, Im not here to be told whats wrong with me, I already know all of that, I go to these forums for support, not to be told I have to change.

Its true, I do seek validation and thats due to my past, but everyone always tells me I have to change, everyone wanting to change me into a different person, Ive never had anyone tell me that Im great the way I am. Thats exactly why I have self hate at all, you cant tell someone to love themselves if you want them to change.


Being independent and accepting yourself is NOT changing. It's living for YOURSELF instead of others.
I have to agree with Felix, you don't like when people don't agree with you. For all that you say you don't want to be judged, you sure are doing exactly that to those of us that don't agree with you. THIS is what you need to stop doing. You don't have to LIKE something someone says, but everything that you've been told from all of us has been good advice, take it for what it's worth (if anything) to you and move on from it. There's no need to insult people and make a big dramatic exit.
Live for YOURSELF, not others. That's the best advice anyone can give you and until you can see that for yourself, no one can help you. Stop seeking approval and approve yourself.
 
I live to make people happy, its one of the only things that brings me happiness, THAT is what I love about myself, and THAT is not changing, it might bring me pain but I know Ill find people who return the favor, and itll all be worth it.
 
"I am not a happy man, Ender. Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf. Survival first, then happiness as we can manage it."
 
I can't really tell one way or another, if you are great the way you are since we don't really know you. One thing to keep in mind is that not everyone is pleasing to be around or good just because mr rogers said so when they were a kid. It;s always a good idea to accept the remote possibility that how you are sucks. (not saying this is the case, but it requires some intospection after hearing from others)
 
Limlim said:
It;s always a good idea to accept the remote possibility that how you are sucks. (not saying this is the case, but it requires some intospection after hearing from others)

are you trying to say that I should accept the possibility that I might be a bad person? Because if my last few threads here have served any purpose, its to have tested my self love, and Im not going to sit there and think that I might be just terrible because I know thats not true
 
Im not saying you are a bad person, but that everyone including myself should always keep the possibility in mind.

But enough of the doom and gloom. What sort of qualities do you have that make you good?
 
So fare thee well, my own true love,

For when you return, united we will be

It's not ya ;eaving of All that grieves me,

But my darling when I think of thee

 
Limlim said:
Im not saying you are a bad person, but that everyone including myself should always keep the possibility in mind.

But enough of the doom and gloom. What sort of qualities do you have that make you good?

love, warmth, kindness, I love helping people out and making them happy. I go out of my way for my friends, holding their needs above my own when they really need it. I dont judge people or tell them how to be happy, I dont have much hate, its really hard for me to hate anyone, it happens but you have to have really hurt me or one of my friends to earn that. When someones being hurt, even if I dont know them, I always jump in to help them out.

I absolutely love that about myself, and when people tell me I have to change, I tell em where to put that change xD
 

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