i dont get it

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

5pt7art

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2011
Messages
130
Reaction score
0
i rarely get invited by anyone to do anything...sometimes here and there...once a week if anything....and majority of the time its cause im their last resort...if its me inviting them they either dont reply back or just dont want..so when i do something on my own they get pissed cause i didnt invite them and then just completely blow me off...wtf??
 
...I would not call these people friends. They seem manipulative, bipolar, and selfish... or at least that's the impression that your quick synopsis gave me.

If they're not true friends, then why hang out with them? You're better than them, so be yourself, meet great people that love spending time with you, and leave them behind! It only takes a little boldness :)
 
If I ever get the feeling I'm someone's last resort, I tend to not want to bother with them. I don't do that to people, so I don't appreciate it being done to me. A girl I grew up with, always treated me like I was her last resort to talk to. Needless to say, during the last 2 or 3 years of high school, I didn't bother with her much, and we grew apart. I think it's funny though, because she always complained to me that she was everyone's last resort.
 
okay, lemme see if I understand this correctly... You get invited to do stuff with your friends once a week. You THINK it's because you're the last resort. You also THINK they blow you off when you invite them places. Do I have this right?

Okay, if I do then continue reading (if I don't, sorry, just disregard everything after this). Doing things once a week is a lot depending on what's going on in people's lives. School, work, kids, family, etc etc etc.... You can't know what their intentions are, even if you are the last person they ask, that doesn't mean you're their last resort (but I do understand how you could think this). Even if they always pass when you invite them somewhere, that doesn't mean they are blowing you off.
If they make you feel bad, perhaps you should talk to them about it, perhaps you should try to comes to terms with it. Do what you feel you have to do, do what is going to make you better in the long run, but don't jump to conclusions, be 100% sure before you do anything.
 
Maybe you could start looking for new friends to be close to and just keep the friends you already have as aquaintances.
If they get annoyed when you do stuff on your own, don't tell them about it, because if they don't know what you are doing, they can't get annoyed at you. You have the right to do things on your own if you want to and to keep it to yourself if you want to.
 
Callie said:
okay, lemme see if I understand this correctly... You get invited to do stuff with your friends once a week. You THINK it's because you're the last resort. You also THINK they blow you off when you invite them places. Do I have this right?

Okay, if I do then continue reading (if I don't, sorry, just disregard everything after this). Doing things once a week is a lot depending on what's going on in people's lives. School, work, kids, family, etc etc etc.... You can't know what their intentions are, even if you are the last person they ask, that doesn't mean you're their last resort (but I do understand how you could think this). Even if they always pass when you invite them somewhere, that doesn't mean they are blowing you off.
If they make you feel bad, perhaps you should talk to them about it, perhaps you should try to comes to terms with it. Do what you feel you have to do, do what is going to make you better in the long run, but don't jump to conclusions, be 100% sure before you do anything.

i dont think i know...the time they do call me and i do hang with them i test them...and they always seem to say oh so and so didnt want to hang so i called you etc...and i understand people are busy cause i get busy at work and stuff also...but it doesnt help when they blow you off and u end up finding out the went out drinking or to grab a bite to eat or whatever
 
I have learned the best way to avoid this is too simply send out a notification saying that you are going to be doing X and say "If you want to come please let me know". Then they have to come up with an excuse as to why they cannot go.
 
How old are you anyway?
Are you still in HS or in your early 20's

I know when i was young. I was always going out...
I partied every freaken night...always somewhere doing something
with some people. I did that so much...I had to rotate people
I partied with all the time...cuase I'll meet new people all the freaken
time.

Sometimes people are bussied or whatever. Sometimes they'll go
without...but WTF..I'll go without them too. What's the big deal?
It's like...there's only so many different bars, nightclubs, or resturant
people can hang out at.

If there's a concert or local events...
Well,,it's like this dude.
My woman...then my pals.

Hoes before bros...man.lmao

Sometimes I'll wanna go hang out with my GF.
Im too bussied man..I dont want other dudes hanging with me
while Im with my women doing our thing.

Other times I'm too bussied playing with my band.
So i gatta make room for my woman...then pals.lol
Gotta keep my priorties straight, man.

But honeysuckle dude while i was attending college and working
full time. I could get barely enough sleep during the week.
There just wasnt enough time in a day.
The first person I'll wanna hang with is with my woman.LOL

Then when i was making a crap load of money...
Id party everynight after work...but I got into a bar fight.
So my boss punished me..by putting me on 12 hr shift 7 days
per week. I was always tired man.lmao
The first thing I wanna do it hit up on my woman.lol

Then when I settle down and had a family and had to raised kids.
Err...Im like really, really bussied.

Are you more like hanging with a click of people and just a few
circles of friends?
Go make more freinds or get a woman...????

Will honeysuckle man. Do you work? go to school? Do your home work?
Play in a band. Have a GF?

I'll be luckie if anyone of my friends calls me to go hang out with them
once a week now adays. People are just too bussied with family, career...ect
I'll have freinds that will keep in touch with me...but we dont hang out hang out like we used to.

But do get it out of your system..dude.
Party down hard man..
Date lots of women...

I partied so freaken much...Its not a big deal to me anymore.
I dont feel like Im missing out on anything. Hope that makes sense.

And why in the fresia are you testing people if they wanna hang with you????
That's warp dude...
You feel like you must be the center of attention or what?
Just go out and have fun.
Go out alone sometimes...its actaully easier to meet chicks like that sometimes.
Go to ladies night alone...This way you dont have to worry about giving your pals
a ride home...when a chick wants to take you home with her or just want you
to go hang out with her. Less compitition. It works in your favor.

I ride moto bikes or sports cars..dudes
There's only enough room for one other person than me.
Generally i rather have a babe sitting in my car or on the back of my bike.
When I take my motocycle to go out...well, it's just me on it to start off my night.
 
i have no idea what u just posted lol all though i did read it all....but yea ive just decided from now on fresia it ill do my own thing
 
Right on, dude...
I get bored of hanging out with my pals sometime. it becomes
like the same old honeysuckle different day after a while.

Im still trying to recoopperate from last weekend.lol
So for the past couple days Im just doing my own thing
Its a change of pace.

Im kindda tired of hoes and bros..at the moment.
fresia it...that's how Im feeling.lol
 
5pt7art said:
i have no idea what u just posted lol all though i did read it all....but yea ive just decided from now on fresia it ill do my own thing

It's the best thing you can do. Sounds like these people aren't friends at all.

I don't get invited anywhere. I initiate 99% of messages on facebook or on my mobile. I spend most of my free time alone. I love golf because it's an indivdual game. It's not a team game where you have to get picked by the manager. Or a game where you need an opponent. It's you versus the golf course. I play mostly with my Dad. I am a member of the local golf club but I go in the clubhouse as little as possible. I have won loads of trophies. I am a mystery because nobody knows who I am. I keep myself to myself. The last time I won the club championship this guy called me a cunt. I have no idea why. I have never entered the competition since.

 
Lots of people I used to know chose me as a last resort, it's not that I thought it, it's coz they bloody did lol. Very easy to catch people out in the past when they've 'bleated' & posted on youknowwhatbook

Best to try & move on, if that helps you in the long run
 
AFrozenSoul said:
I have learned the best way to avoid this is too simply send out a notification saying that you are going to be doing X and say "If you want to come please let me know".

I agree.

Also this indicates a high self esteem.
You aren't asking for approval.

You're stating a FACT.
I'm going and that's that.

If YOU wanna come along with ME, you're
welcome.

About the last resort thingie, I believe it's
directly due to low self esteem and confidence issues.

There two options here:
1. It's in your head -> you're not REALLY the last resort.
2. You ARE last resort. Now the question is WHY.

Think about it. There's a reason you're last in line.

Whether your "friends" are good peeps or not is irrelevant.

Focus about YOU.
WHY do these people prefer you NOT being there?

Hope you take this as constructive stuff =)
 
5pt7art said:
i guess i could see why they wouldnt want me there.


No don't buy Adam's argument. It's their problem. Lack of confidence isn't helped by blaming somone for it, and what's so wrong with lacking confidence anyway? It just gives yet another excuse to those who judge superficially.

That is if there is a problem...once a week sounds so good to me :(
 
@5pt7art
Seeing it is the easy part.

Now work on it. Not for them. For YOU.
Once you start looking for ways to improve yourself,
you'll find them.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top