Is it ok to live in isolation for the rest of your life?

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kaafee123

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Let me start by saying thank god for the internet and media. Watching a funny TV show or a good movie or researching a topic online brings me more joy and pleasure than socializing with friends and hanging out nowadays.

I thought about this, and maybe it was just my mind playing tricks to cover up my denial that I am lonely. However, I intentionally avoid everybody possible and I am very withdrawn and cold to anyone who is not my family. Just the other day my old acquaintance stopped me in the store to talk to me and I literally walked away right from his face and exited the store.

Maybe it's just envy. I think deep down I truly envy those that have a good life and good looks and not a care in the world. I see them hanging out with girls and laughing and making out and think "why God? Why did my life have to be like this? Why did you make me an ugly monster?". It's really unfair to me and I just want to get this life over with. Not suicide, I mean I just want to die already so I can move on to the next lives or whatnot in the astral realm.

The only time when I reconsider getting friends is when my parents tell me I'm a loner or when I watch a TV show - it's like society teaches you to socialize. But when I do try to go out with friends it brings me way more stress than pleasure. The whole time I am extremely self-conscious of my looks to the point of not paying attention to the conversation and secretly thinking if the other person can see how deformed I am. Also, I always tend to say the wrong thing or do something awkward and then think about it for weeks on end, analyzing what I could of done, what I did do, etc. I think this is the reason why I have never had a girlfriend or kissed or anything. I'm 25.

The only life joy I get from friends is in my dreams. My dreams make my life complete. Every night, my dreams are like a second life and wake I wake up I feel emotionally exhausted from my dreams. These dreams include having sex with women I fantasize about, and being a druid in the forest with animals.

In conclusion, it's sort of like I am emotionally detached from everybody but my family. All these feelings that people have are too overwhelming and uncomfortable for me. Sort of like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, I do not understand the social and mating aspects. I just want to die alone with a cat or dog with the internet/video games/tv/movies and going out for occasional walks in some deserted areas or parks where people don't go. Also I would have big bags of weed for when I get bored. And...I'm perfectly fine with that life. Is this normal?
 
If you are perfectly happy and contented to live in isolation, then this is ok. But you don't really sound ok about it. You sound as if you want to live in isolation because of a lack of confidence in yourself when you are around people.
I can understand your wishing that this life was over as it is a feeling I share, but to me you need help to overcome your lack of confidence rather than giving up on people and retreating into isolation for the rest of your life. With the right support, you could hopefully come to find some happiness and fulfilment in this present life. It's something I am working on.
 
Well...weed alter your mind and moods. Which puts
you in an alter state or reality.
What gose up must come down.
So if youre coming down. You'll be depressed. Then you smoke
again to feel OK. Youre actaully are always in a state of withdraw
If you had became dependent on that.Thats another subject in it's own.

Isolations is one of symtoms...which makes you feel more depressed.
Then it becomes a cycle that feeds on it's own.

We're also creatures of habits. The behaviors of isolating, playing vedio
games, watching TV...ect had became routine.

Our minds and body adjust to these conditions so that it can function.
The term I'll use is " COMFORTIABLE".
Your life might not be productive but you are comfortiable with it.

So when you went out into the world...You were out of your comfortzone.
You mind and body will try to go back to what it's most comfortiable
so that it may function. You went into a state of withdraw sort of speak.

Our minds will always justify itself to get back to it's comfortzone.
Again, its dose this so it can function....even if it's not productive
or healthy for you.

Im leaving all the morals and values out of the equations So that
you might see more clearly what's actaully youre doing or whats
happening to you.

There's plenty of people that smokes pot so that they may fucntion
or party. I'm not going to get into a debate about that.
To each his own....
Whatever the price, consequences some people are willing to pay.

If getting high, playing vedio games and watching TV is your thing..
If that's your thing...that's your thing....
But eventaully there will come a day when you have to support
yourself...Generate your own income. Which will require you
to interact with people or have employment.

Works sucks ass of course...i rather stay home and get stoned
all day too...if I can get away with it.LOL
mmmm...most places of employment wont allow people to be stoned.lol
And they definitely wont let me PLAY games on my cell phone during work hours.
Work..work..work.lol

But what are you ganno do?
you need money to buy weed.lol
 
"Is it ok to live in isolation for the rest of your life?"

"I just want to die alone with a cat or dog with the internet/video games/tv/movies and going out for occasional walks in some deserted areas or parks where people don't go. Also I would have big bags of weed for when I get bored. And...I'm perfectly fine with that life. Is this normal?"

Two sentences made by you op, do you see the contradiction? In the 1st one there is doubt... You are doubting if isolation is really the best thing for you. The second one, you are sure is the best. But worry not, this kind of contradiction is usual in humans... yes, our logic isn't perfect really, i know that must come as quite a shock to you lol

Ok, It's easier to be on your own, but dep inside you know is no life, that's why you came here... As fun as videogames are, they're just a virtual place. same with movies/tv, something created by others for you to recieve in a rather pasive way... Beleve me, I love movies and games but at some point, you have to make your voice be heard. Accept the fact that it will take lots of effort for you to beat loneliness. It's hard, but so it is for everyone else. Even more socially apt people can find it hard. Life is tough, life takes effort. If you want something, you have to take an active rol in you own interest. Seek help, seek to improve yourself. Go out more. That's the job of the loner...
 
Personally, I think you have Body Dismorphic Disorder. You probably aren't as ugly as you think you are.

And even if you are...so what? Plenty of ugly people date, marry, have friends, have social lives, etc.

You're just trying to give yourself an excuse to isolate yourself. And I can tell you that just sitting at home, watching movies, is no life. It's better to even go out and do things by yourself (like, for example, going to see a movie in a theater or going to a concert), just so you're around other people and have the chance to socialize.

As far as the depression goes, are you seeing a therapist? That's what you need, more than anything. You need to knock yourself out of this funk.
 
I once made a thread like this a few months ago. I asked people if it would be possible to just leave school, get some job and live like a hermit.

After hanging out with certain people, I realized being alone is not what I want. Right now I'm practicing to play soccer even though I'm 22. I have some people I now play with weekly. It's hard since my body isn't used to it but with the right stretches and warm ups I can usually go on for a bit.

So yea that was the choice I made. Of course I have a close friend who got me into playing but he isn't around 24/7 so I had to make friends with other people.

I know, it's not easy to just get up and do something and keep at it. I always find that my mind lets itself get taken over by negative thoughts much easier than positive ones. It still does but just remember. You can't fight your mind. You can however not pay attention to your mind and let the thoughts just fly by.

Read this tonight please http://www.outofstress.com/stop-obsessive-thoughts/
 
Complete isolation seems to be the road I am headed down. I don't think I could take it forever but all I can do is keep a straight face and eventually cry about it and rinse and repeat. I have been treated like a dog in a cage by my family for a long time. I am trying to get out of it but I am always let down in the end. I don't expect to get out of this isolation thing because it just never happens. You have to realize that this planet is a slave colony that is hiding behind an illusion that you call "life". Everybody is scum except for animals. Why do people treat someone bad, and think nothing of it, but when THEY get treated bad, they DON'T LIKE IT. They hate it. They can't take what they dish out. The entire human race operates like that.

Some people are forced into isolation, loneliness, and being single by the world around them. I am one example and there are plenty of others. The human race and it's illusion system PREVENTS me from fulfilling my survival instincts (working, socializing, living, etc.) so in turn you have no choice but to be forced into isolation, loneliness, and being single. This stuff is can be forced onto you.
 
All depends on the person. I was happy being alone until I turned 35. It was then that I started trying to figure out how to date, only to find out women don't date anymore.

A guy I knew from college decided after college he would be a hermit. He moved in with his parents and still lives there to this day. I called him the other day on the phone. He said he only gets out of his parent's house to go to work. But then I think it's a family owned business so I don't know if that counts. But he is satisfied with things that way.
 
blackdot said:
All depends on the person. I was happy being alone until I turned 35. It was then that I started trying to figure out how to date, only to find out women don't date anymore.

A guy I knew from college decided after college he would be a hermit. He moved in with his parents and still lives there to this day. I called him the other day on the phone. He said he only gets out of his parent's house to go to work. But then I think it's a family owned business so I don't know if that counts. But he is satisfied with things that way.
I think that as long as your happy it would work...

Though I think the majority of us here aren't contempt with the way things in our lives are. That's why we're on this forum no?
 
If you live in isolation because you have *no urge* to socialise in the first place, I'd say it's fine. However from your post - and as others have said - this doesn't seem to be the case.

What fuzzybutt said is useful. Do you have skills or interests, like soccer, or playing an instrument? That can get you into social contact with people - and the social contact is secondary to whatever you've come together to do. And if that's too much, maybe getting lessons individually from a tutor or something? It might just help you get used to being around people without constantly feeling anxiety, because the process of learning, or the process of physical exertion and playing, will get in the way (hopefully). If you're learning something new with a tutor then it might also help with the agony of making blunders and mistakes with people - since making mistakes is totally fine when you're learning.
 
Sterling said:
Humans are social animals. You can't live in isolation happily forever.

So true. There is nothing wrong with living in isolation as long as you like and it works for you.
But the problem is that this may not work for you forever.

 
sth said:
Sterling said:
Humans are social animals. You can't live in isolation happily forever.

So true. There is nothing wrong with living in isolation as long as you like and it works for you.
But the problem is that this may not work for you forever.

+1

but also some people end up stuck in isolation for a long time & find it hard to get back into more of a social life. me for one.
 
I dream of living in isolation but the reality is that we all (or mostly all) have family obligations and we need health care. So contact is necessary. I find that the more I control the contact the better I handle it. Plan visits ahead of time, leave early for the visit to reduce travel stress, control the length of the visit and the content of the visit. This is very difficult but it helps.
 
Hrm... I've wondered that myself a lot. I have never been too fortunate with making friends or being accepted by my own family ever since I was around 5 or 6. I always lived my life as some sort of a pariah and for a long time I was ok with it and enjoyed it. But when I hit around 14 and my eyes was opened to the internet and I made my first friend, who than became the first person I cared and loved for, I enjoyed it and loved it so greatly. Now that she along with the rest of my friends have moved on with their lives without me I long for those feelings of being with people again, but also hate to try to connect with people again because eventually we will part ways again.

As others have said I feel it's something we all need eventually. Isolation is good for people too to an extent but eventually it will get tiring and depressing. Enjoy it while you can but don't exclude the thought of enjoying the company with others. After all, everything feels better when you have a friend to share it with.
 
I think 'ok' is a relative opinion. In my case, it just 'is what it is', the way it's supposed to be I guess, so I just make due and accept it.
 
It's not impossible. Hermits do it all the time, if you want to call a secluded shack in the middle of the woods Isolation. You still have animals to keep you company and probably engage in hunting from time to time.
 
I wonder about this too a lot. I have no natural urge to go out and socialize, but I feel guilty that somehow I'm supposed to, because it's what other people consider normal.

I'm a true introvert, in the sense that being around others drains my energy, and being alone recuperates my energy. Yet I still can't shake this sense of guilt, that I owe something to society... Even though I don't really want to take part in 'society' myself!

So I'm struggling with that question... For now I'm just taking things slow, and not jumping into any kind of new social activity or volunteer thing until I'm more certain why I'm doing it :/
 

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