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lonelyloser

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I don't really understand the point of marriage. If you get married, you have to give up all your freedom to date, deal with the in-laws, give up your social life, and deal with fighting/bickering all the time. There is even a tax penalty for marriage. It seems that the only real advantage to being married is that you have a sex partner for life.
 
n someone to fall asleep next to..

n you get to make a stranger family...
 
You get married when you find somebody so special that dating other people doesn't enter your mind.
 
I'm all pro marriage, but ****, when I think about all the problems it brings with it..I wanna stay alone.
 
Every marriage that I've seen in my life seems to end badly, this includes my sister and her first, second, and now third husband as well as my parents, God that was a nightmare...I thought marriage was great but now I'm traumatized and don't think I'll ever get married, it'd be nice though, Jales said it best:

"someone to fall asleep next to.. "
"you get to make a stranger family..."

that sounds great but if it doesn't work, then you effect others lives like your children and even people around you and that disturbs me...
 
NeverMore said:
Every marriage that I've seen in my life seems to end badly, this includes my sister and her first, second, and now third husband as well as my parents, God that was a nightmare...I thought marriage was great but now I'm traumatized and don't think I'll ever get married,
exactly why I don't want to either.
In my family mostly everybody's divorced. :(
 
same here. i agree in marriage. when marrying someone, sacrifice is always there. Im speaking about emotionally, finacially, mentally and physically. But it only depends on a person if he or she really wants to sacrifice everything in the name of marriage and epecially in the name of love. It's not like you marry someone you dearly love and give up everything.

When it comes to in-laws, we know before somebody gets married, the in-law gave the couple there blessings. so there is no chance that you will have a hard time dealing with them. however, if there are really mean in-laws, don't worry about them. why, are they the one who you deal everyday? NO. are they the one whom you get married with? NO. Just take care YOUR OWN FAMILY. but be polite, though, be respectful, don't forget that they are your love ones' parents.

for the tax.. hmm all i know about it is if you get a dependant (it could be your honey, or children) then you will get a tax refund at the end of the year. but be sure your income is in the right rank. coz if not you'll gonna pay a lot.
 
lonelyloser said:
I don't really understand the point of marriage. If you get married, you have to give up all your freedom to date, deal with the in-laws, give up your social life, and deal with fighting/bickering all the time. There is even a tax penalty for marriage. It seems that the only real advantage to being married is that you have a sex partner for life.
all depends how u look @ things
lonelyloser said:
If you get married, you have to give up all your freedom to date
lets face it..... d8ing sux :D. if ur married u dont have 2 worry about it anymore. & u have a constant d8 4 wherever u want 2 go
lonelyloser said:
deal with the in-laws
there r alot of options here....
dont marry from ppl who r2 different than u = less problems
d8 only orphans :D
eliminate the inlaws if theyre really that much of an issue
lonelyloser said:
give up your social life
what social life? do any of us here even have 1? haha
lonelyloser said:
deal with fighting/bickering all the time
not if u took the time 2get2 know who u married
lonelyloser said:
There is even a tax penalty for marriage
the only valid thing here
but its a small price 2 pay
lonelyloser said:
It seems that the only real advantage to being married is that you have a sex partner for life.
not usually LoL. this is where ive heard ppl have the most problems
 
Ya, well in my mind getting married makes very little real sense to me. It has more to do with organized religion then it does with praticality. People don't need to get married to do all the things that married people do. You can still share bank accounts, if you wish. You can still do all the same things and make even stronger vows to each other. The only real plus side to marrage is that it makes people swear to honor each other in front of an audience. Which even that when it really comes down to it doesn't mean much in the end.

If you look at history and the way things were done several hundred years ago. You will find that in smaller communities getting married was more about proclaiming that two people were a couple to the tribe/village and making it so everyone knew they were taken. It had a very different meaning back then and was done for very very practical reasons. Basically if a boy and a girl above a certain age starting hanging out alot together and showing affection to one another tribal leaders would take them aside and talk to them and then in some cases even force them to get married. In part because when they had children (since there was little in the way of contreception) the children would need a stable home just to survive the hardships of life. Today with our cities of 1000's it's not even possible to inform the general public of such a union. There is no way most people would even remember. It would be more productive to decide as a mutual decision to pay for an ad in the paper or online to let people know hands off.

It's just a tradition that people follow because it has been done for so long. We have given it a totally new meaning, but it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense for a great many reasons. The strange thing about tradition is often things had some practical reason at one point in time. People keep doing things far past that point and don't even remember how or why things were done in the first place.

History can be so awsome.

Edit: Don't get me wrong, I don't think its all bad. I just don't think it means what alot of people want to believe it means. Many people want to make marrage out to be some kind of ship like the titanic. Only the titanic wasn't unsinkable. It was just another ship just like all the rest of them. One might even say that the belief that it was unsinkable made it even more likely to be sunk, by ignoring the fact that traveling near ice flow's was dangerous to all ships.

It's sort of like you have two exactly identical houses. One house is just called a house. The other house has a grand opening when it's construction is finished. The only distinction between the two is that one of the houses had a grand opening. Besides that, nothing is really any different. How people chose to live in those houses will be completely independent of the fact that one house had a grand opening.

If the fear of divorce and the spliting of peoples assets is all that is keeping people together, as is often the case. Or the fear that people will be frowned upon by others around them. Or that their faith doesn't allow people to do what is best for them. It just doesn't make much sense to me.
 
Yes I agree with Skorian on this. Because aside from the fact that I have always dislike marriage. My friend started thinking about marriage and it sucks because the guy who shes thinking about it with, shes only been dating him for like three months. And she already playing with the idea of a life long commitment, when the passion hasnt died out, the thrill of love in its infancy hasnt faded. So I am very sad about that. So to restate people enter into marriage only because its been done for so long, they have no reasoning, or rationality behind it, and it can lead to ruining peoples lives.
 
jales said:
n someone to fall asleep next to..

n you get to make a stranger family...

YEA :) That would be nice. I do like my own space but would like that. And for someone else to take there share of cooking the dinner :D That would be good to :D
 
legally if i marry a guy when he is sick i have the same visiting rights as his family. if we arent married i dont...

so u cant do all the same stuff


Skorian said:
Ya, well in my mind getting married makes very little real sense to me. It has more to do with organized religion then it does with praticality. People don't need to get married to do all the things that married people do. You can still share bank accounts, if you wish. You can still do all the same things and make even stronger vows to each other. The only real plus side to marrage is that it makes people swear to honor each other in front of an audience. Which even that when it really comes down to it doesn't mean much in the end.

If you look at history and the way things were done several hundred years ago. You will find that in smaller communities getting married was more about proclaiming that two people were a couple to the tribe/village and making it so everyone knew they were taken. It had a very different meaning back then and was done for very very practical reasons. Basically if a boy and a girl above a certain age starting hanging out alot together and showing affection to one another tribal leaders would take them aside and talk to them and then in some cases even force them to get married. In part because when they had children (since there was little in the way of contreception) the children would need a stable home just to survive the hardships of life. Today with our cities of 1000's it's not even possible to inform the general public of such a union. There is no way most people would even remember. It would be more productive to decide as a mutual decision to pay for an ad in the paper or online to let people know hands off.

It's just a tradition that people follow because it has been done for so long. We have given it a totally new meaning, but it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense for a great many reasons. The strange thing about tradition is often things had some practical reason at one point in time. People keep doing things far past that point and don't even remember how or why things were done in the first place.

History can be so awsome.

Edit: Don't get me wrong, I don't think its all bad. I just don't think it means what alot of people want to believe it means. Many people want to make marrage out to be some kind of ship like the titanic. Only the titanic wasn't unsinkable. It was just another ship just like all the rest of them. One might even say that the belief that it was unsinkable made it even more likely to be sunk, by ignoring the fact that traveling near ice flow's was dangerous to all ships.

It's sort of like you have two exactly identical houses. One house is just called a house. The other house has a grand opening when it's construction is finished. The only distinction between the two is that one of the houses had a grand opening. Besides that, nothing is really any different. How people chose to live in those houses will be completely independent of the fact that one house had a grand opening.

If the fear of divorce and the spliting of peoples assets is all that is keeping people together, as is often the case. Or the fear that people will be frowned upon by others around them. Or that their faith doesn't allow people to do what is best for them. It just doesn't make much sense to me.
 
marriage is a sacred bond... but just because everyone and their dog goes and gets married these days when they're bored doesn't mean they have any concept of this bond.
 

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