Choice Of Words Has Much Impact. Good And Bad.

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LoneKiller

LoneKiller

Well-known member
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Hey All.:)

I just wanted to throw this observation out there and see what people think about my theory. It might help with some of the recent increase of discord in the forum. I'm not going to give any specific posts or name any specific members because I don't want to start trouble. I've read a lot of threads with posts of an angry and frustrating nature. Some of which are mine and I've noticed something in all of them that seems to cause unwanted trouble.

I can't say this with any certainty, but I'm wondering if the choice of words used by some members inadvertently comes across as hostile
and misunderstood by some other members causing friction in threads.

For example: If I'm sitting across the table from a friend and they call me a "horse's ass"(which I can be at times, I'll be perfectly honest with you all.) I have the benefit of seeing their facial features when they say it and can tell if they are serious or just busting my balls.

On a forum, we don't have that benefit. This can lead to a member misunderstanding the one who said it causing anger. "Smilies" help, but I think that if members, myself included, thought a little longer before typing what we want to say, it would be a huge help.

Just my opinion.:)
LK




 
Well I have to think twice b4 I type now coz I just am so out of the social scene even my typing has become awkward more often now

when you are up & down all the time how can you keep consistant
 
I can be a cheeky little honeysuckle really and it works well when out and about with people that know me.

In the online world it doesn't work out so well, especially since i hang around on forums like this.

Also not really good at advice giving through a computer. Just never comfy with it.
 
Oh most definitely. We know what we mean and we read it that way but not everyone else will. Sometimes they don't see the humour or seriousness of it. That's why I like to use things like ... or :/ or /sarcasm or :p or jk depending on what it is. But even that you never know what type of mood the other person is in. It's a craps shoot.
 
Im-only-responsible.jpg
 
SophiaGrace said:
*sigh* let's not start another argument.
Click to expand...

Um, that's not argument ensuing...that's the truth. If I should say something and you take it in a way I did not mean, that's not on me, that's on you for not asking me to clarify what I said because you didn't understand it.

As for how I am, I don't often "think" about what I write. I write what I believe is the truth, you (generalized "you," not anyone in particular) may or my not agree with what I say, but again, that's not on me. I'm entitled to my own opinions, the same as anyone else is. I don't coddle people just because I'm "supposed" to be nice. Personally, I think that's wrong. Give people pity, tell them what they want to hear because they are sad or lonely or angry or whatever and they won't learn from it.
 
I like to tease other members. :p

But I always remember to check my word choice, to make sure it's taken lightheartedly and not serious.
 
Callie said:
SophiaGrace said:
*sigh* let's not start another argument.
Click to expand...

Um, that's not argument ensuing...that's the truth. If I should say something and you take it in a way I did not mean, that's not on me, that's on you for not asking me to clarify what I said because you didn't understand it.

As for how I am, I don't often "think" about what I write. I write what I believe is the truth, you (generalized "you," not anyone in particular) may or my not agree with what I say, but again, that's not on me. I'm entitled to my own opinions, the same as anyone else is. I don't coddle people just because I'm "supposed" to be nice. Personally, I think that's wrong. Give people pity, tell them what they want to hear because they are sad or lonely or angry or whatever and they won't learn from it.
Click to expand...
Callie. Before I begin, I'm not out to attack you. I just feel that in all fairness to all of us, I should say this:

It's commendable that you speak your mind and don't coddle people.
I respect that. However, in all honesty, I don't believe that it's solely the viewer's responsibility to ask you to clarify what you type should they misunderstand what you are trying to get across.

When you make a remark you admit that you don't always think about what you write. This leads to viewers getting mixed signals from time to time.

Perhaps if you were more specific in your words, there would be no misunderstandings. The author of a post is just as responsible for being clear as the viewer is in their response should they choose to reply. It's things like this that cause many misunderstandings.

I do hope that you understand.:)



 
LoneKiller said:
Callie. Before I begin, I'm not out to attack you. I just feel that in all fairness to all of us, I should say this:

It's commendable that you speak your mind and don't coddle people.
I respect that. However, in all honesty, I don't believe that it's solely the viewer's responsibility to ask you to clarify what you type should they misunderstand what you are trying to get across.

When you make a remark you admit that you don't always think about what you write. This leads to viewers getting mixed signals from time to time.

Perhaps if you were more specific in your words, there would be no misunderstandings. The author of a post is just as responsible for being clear as the viewer is in their response should they choose to reply. It's things like this that cause many misunderstandings.

I do hope that you understand.:)
Click to expand...

I think you misunderstand what I mean when I say I don't always think about what I write. What I mean is that what I post is 100% how I feel and what I believe to be the truth. HOWEVER, there are times when I may go "too far" and be "too harsh" or just be totally batshit crazy where I make absolutely NO sense depending on my mood at the time when I post. If I'm pissed, it generally shows in what I write. If I'm depressed, it shows. If I'm happy, it shows. Etc, etc etc...
By me saying misunderstanding, I mean...hmm, I'm not really sure how to explain it, but let's go with an example. Take, for instance, the image of the penguin I posted in your cereal thread. You have NO idea what I meant when I posted that, it could be interpreted a million different ways, but no matter which interpretation YOU think it is, that doesn't mean that's what I mean it to be. And no, I chose not to clarify what it meant and I won't. lol

There are one or two people here that may often know what I really mean with what I post, but even those people don't know what's in my head, no one knows that except for me, therefore you can only GUESS what I mean. This is true for everyone, not just me and what I post. One can't know what another person means, regardless of how "clearcut" it may seem, often it's pretty obvious, but you can't be 100% sure you aren't misconstruing some part of what they say.

LoneKiller said:
The author of a post is just as responsible for being clear as the viewer is in their response should they choose to reply.
Click to expand...
This is correct and what I've been saying. Each individual is responsible for what they write, making it as clear cut as they can to make someone understand, however, if the reader doesn't understand or misconstrues what is being said, it's not really the OP's fault that others don't understand. Not everything is that easy to convey, and people generally do their best, but it doesn't always work that way. There will always be misunderstanding, because no one thinks in the same exact way, no one interprets things in the same exact way.

But, to end my novel here... I stand by the quote I posted earlier in this thread. No one else has to agree with me on it, as we are each entitled to our own opinions.
 
Callie said:
LoneKiller said:
Callie. Before I begin, I'm not out to attack you. I just feel that in all fairness to all of us, I should say this:

It's commendable that you speak your mind and don't coddle people.
I respect that. However, in all honesty, I don't believe that it's solely the viewer's responsibility to ask you to clarify what you type should they misunderstand what you are trying to get across.

When you make a remark you admit that you don't always think about what you write. This leads to viewers getting mixed signals from time to time.

Perhaps if you were more specific in your words, there would be no misunderstandings. The author of a post is just as responsible for being clear as the viewer is in their response should they choose to reply. It's things like this that cause many misunderstandings.

I do hope that you understand.:)
Click to expand...

I think you misunderstand what I mean when I say I don't always think about what I write. What I mean is that what I post is 100% how I feel and what I believe to be the truth. HOWEVER, there are times when I may go "too far" and be "too harsh" or just be totally batshit crazy where I make absolutely NO sense depending on my mood at the time when I post. If I'm pissed, it generally shows in what I write. If I'm depressed, it shows. If I'm happy, it shows. Etc, etc etc...
By me saying misunderstanding, I mean...hmm, I'm not really sure how to explain it, but let's go with an example. Take, for instance, the image of the penguin I posted in your cereal thread. You have NO idea what I meant when I posted that, it could be interpreted a million different ways, but no matter which interpretation YOU think it is, that doesn't mean that's what I mean it to be. And no, I chose not to clarify what it meant and I won't. lol

There are one or two people here that may often know what I really mean with what I post, but even those people don't know what's in my head, no one knows that except for me, therefore you can only GUESS what I mean. This is true for everyone, not just me and what I post. One can't know what another person means, regardless of how "clearcut" it may seem, often it's pretty obvious, but you can't be 100% sure you aren't misconstruing some part of what they say.

LoneKiller said:
The author of a post is just as responsible for being clear as the viewer is in their response should they choose to reply.
Click to expand...
This is correct and what I've been saying. Each individual is responsible for what they write, making it as clear cut as they can to make someone understand, however, if the reader doesn't understand or misconstrues what is being said, it's not really the OP's fault that others don't understand. Not everything is that easy to convey, and people generally do their best, but it doesn't always work that way. There will always be misunderstanding, because no one thinks in the same exact way, no one interprets things in the same exact way.

But, to end my novel here... I stand by the quote I posted earlier in this thread. No one else has to agree with me on it, as we are each entitled to our own opinions.
Click to expand...
I agree. We are both entitled. I'm glad that we worked this out without a feud. Thank you for the explanation.:)

 
LoneKiller said:
I agree. We are both entitled. I'm glad that we worked this out without a feud. Thank you for the explanation.:)
Click to expand...

I can totally give you one if you want :D
 
People process informations in accordance to what they feel too....
It's fucken retarted for me to be chattering to others people's moods or happiness.

It becomes a game of manipulations.
Telling me to control my words is simply another controll issues.
Yes...sa masta, I'll say what u wanna hear. i have it ur permission N approval to breathe.

Just show up happy bitches...
This way we can all get alone :)

My soberiety is dependent on my spiritual condition. Its a daily reprieve.
WTF dose that mean exatly???
Chose to feel good, be happy. Clean mother fucken house of my mental and emotional baggages daily.
Oneday at a time.
Simple honeysuckle sick complicated people makes complicated.
A spiritaul person simply means...A WELL ADJUSTED PERSON.

i attend support groups for many reasons...
One of them is to build tolernace of others. Get mother fucken thick skin
or whatever

I didnt wake up oneday with the love, patience and tolerance of sick
people. it didnt happened over night.

Simple thing in support groups meeting.
I can get the fresia up and leave anytime I want....
Ignore people whenever I deem it's too much for me to tolerate.
Simple principle as in.... i can only change myself and not others.

Recovery has nothing to do with people acting right, doing right or always saying the right things...
Its about me Being WELL adjusted to live life on life's terms.
People dont always do or say the right thing. Nor remotely going to chatter to my happiness.
Incase you havnt notices...the world isnt always a nice place to live. It gets rather harsh at times.
Burst my mother fucken bubble even though I havnt lived a shelttered life.
This aint heaven...It's fucken earth.lol
 

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