My youtube account of 257 videos was suddenly terminated without warning. Never had any strikes or anything on it. Months and months worth of work, totally gone.
I feel like I'm dead now. Theres no recovery from that. Most I didn't even have backups. I guess the only plus side is that theres less info out there to track me. I had just quickly made and uploaded a bunch of well done videos too. I guess I finally reached the point of having info worth destroying me over.
Whats the point of going on? Its just going to be this way with whatever I try to do... all my life has been about losing everything eventually. Everytime I get so close to establishing myself, its all gone.
Nothing I do ever works out. My whole life is cursed anyway. Just an eternal child, whose toys are all broken, whose friends have all gone home, years ago, just like the song my witchcraft practicing father named me after. So hated am I, even me own father put a curse on me.
I'm not worth anything to anyone. My youtube account was largely a ministry as well. I guess if God has no further use for me, I'd might as well end it all. He probably doesn't care one way or another. Nothing happens, except that he permits it to be so.
So thats it, I guess. Unless I see a miracle or something, I think I'll just end things. It's no use continuing a life where I'm cursed and can't get anywhere no matter what I try to do. All I do is consume food, electricity, that my grandfather has to pay for. I hate the way things are in this cold and harsh world. Nothing works out and I just wind up making my karma worse.
All indications show that I should end my life...
But, first things first. I need to compile my important information in a more permanent format first. Wouldn't forgive myself If I forgot to do that. Thats going to take some time. Write it in a book, maybe a show, then I can end things... But the way I feel tonight, I wish I could end things tonight.... Frickin totally useless situation.
lol, randomly opened my Bible to a passage that talks about being patient and waiting on the LORD. Guess I'm stuck here for a while.
I feel like I'm dead now. Theres no recovery from that. Most I didn't even have backups. I guess the only plus side is that theres less info out there to track me. I had just quickly made and uploaded a bunch of well done videos too. I guess I finally reached the point of having info worth destroying me over.
Whats the point of going on? Its just going to be this way with whatever I try to do... all my life has been about losing everything eventually. Everytime I get so close to establishing myself, its all gone.
Nothing I do ever works out. My whole life is cursed anyway. Just an eternal child, whose toys are all broken, whose friends have all gone home, years ago, just like the song my witchcraft practicing father named me after. So hated am I, even me own father put a curse on me.
I'm not worth anything to anyone. My youtube account was largely a ministry as well. I guess if God has no further use for me, I'd might as well end it all. He probably doesn't care one way or another. Nothing happens, except that he permits it to be so.
So thats it, I guess. Unless I see a miracle or something, I think I'll just end things. It's no use continuing a life where I'm cursed and can't get anywhere no matter what I try to do. All I do is consume food, electricity, that my grandfather has to pay for. I hate the way things are in this cold and harsh world. Nothing works out and I just wind up making my karma worse.
All indications show that I should end my life...
But, first things first. I need to compile my important information in a more permanent format first. Wouldn't forgive myself If I forgot to do that. Thats going to take some time. Write it in a book, maybe a show, then I can end things... But the way I feel tonight, I wish I could end things tonight.... Frickin totally useless situation.
lol, randomly opened my Bible to a passage that talks about being patient and waiting on the LORD. Guess I'm stuck here for a while.