A "soul " Partner

Ok so i understand it now.
Why it's simply not just a Gf/Bf You want but a soul companion.

A soul companion would be accompanying me to the festival i go to this year thats over 100 miles away.
A soul companion would drop there games, the pull of television and the "can't be arsed" attitude to come on a walk with me.
A soul companion would always know i'm joking and know i'm actually as soft as butter.
A soul companion would listen to all my zaney theorys and understanding of things, without their eyes glazing over or head turning in 15 seconds.
I crave these things.
I have a reasonible friend circle but none provide me with any of this.

I used to think all you need is friends, but no, i need something bigger, i truly need someone to SHARE my life with.
The hunt is tyresome, the extreme few nice girls i've ever found have been taken...by the undesevant too i might add, or is that jealousy?

I'm 22 t new years eve, i know it's not much but i'd like whoever this girl may be to share my younger years too, am i trying to rush it?

It sounds as if its about providing YOU with something or taking an interest in YOU or sharing YOUR life with. Sounds like you need a servant not a soul companion!

I don't mean to be flippant, I just thought it might be worth pointing that out to you. Maybe thats why the girls you liked were taken, because someone had taken the time to think what SHE would like to do.

Welcome by the way!

@ 22 yeah you are trying to rush it. I kind of have to agree with TGC. I get you want someone who will share your interests but outside of cloning a female version of yourself not everyone will. You talked about what you want, but what about them. Are you willing to let them play their video games or watch their TV shows with them even if it doesn't interest you? Do you give as much as you want too? Just wondering cause you're new and we just know what you've posted here so far.

I believe I understood what you were trying to say, it's not always easy to convey a message to others. Have to look past all these words, think of where they are coming from, to be able to see the true message. This has little to do with him really even if it's all about him and his needs, it was just his way of explaining, is what I think. You want someone who will always be the most important thing in your life, and the other way around? Anything else comes second. Just tell me if I'm wrong. There are females out there who want the same thing, even at an age younger than yours. I don't think you're trying to push it, keep trying, have patience, perhaps there will be a person in the future with whom you can share this kind of a connection with.

AfterDark said:

I believe I understood what you were trying to say, it's not always easy to convey a message to others. Have to look past all these words, think of where they are coming from, to be able to see the true message. This has little to do with him really even if it's all about him and his needs, it was just his way of explaining, is what I think. You want someone who will always be the most important thing in your life, and the other way around? Anything else comes second. Just tell me if I'm wrong. There are females out there who want the same thing, even at an age younger than yours. I don't think you're trying to push it, keep trying, have patience, perhaps there will be a person in the future with whom you can share this kind of a connection with.

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I don't think you should look past the words on the page so easily, personally. Of course I could jump to my own conclusions of what he might mean and not take it at face value and most likely he will say yes thats what I mean but your post (which I agree with btw) is leading him to an answer based on your own view (don't lead the witness ). I think sometimes though what you write first can reveal more than what is explained after. I'm sure the OP is aware you have to be 'nice to girls' and its not all about me me me, its just that might be something he might want to consider as to whether he gives the other person enough of his own time. He might well do, I don't know.

To the point though I think at 22 you still have the freedom to enjoy life, have interests and form views on the world, while its good to have someone to share that with, it still an age where I see it equally important to strike out on your own. A relationship doesn't have to be joined at the hip, I think its better you are both just making the most of your youth either together or doing your own thing.

A soulmate is a nice concept, but probably not very realistic. I guess you just want friendships where you don't feel like a burden. (That's where I'm at too.)

Everything in life is a concept or conception.

Things as in anything....have whatever meanings I give it.
Whats realistic to someone isnt beyound the reaches of others...
so be real careful when people say YOU CAN"T...just becuase they cant.

I was aleady married @ 21...So from my experince, 22 isnt too young.
You're certainly not too young to died...so why do you think you're too young to live?

My HS GF died when she was only 17.
Maybe she's my soulmate...maybe not.
But i do know I shared a lot of good times with her.
Lots and lots of in the moment...moments.
Lots of laughters. Lots of happiness. Lots of innocents.
She was taken out of my life not becuase she was bad nor good. Or that I was bad or good.
It's life on life's terms.

Jenni also died at a young age. She was only 31.

Two very loving people that loved me for me and actaully live life to the fullest without all the bullshit.
Life is twisted like that too.....

Yes,,that's pretty much what we all really want...to love and be loved...
With as less bullshit as possible.

My love and meaning of love cant be define by anyone else.
My love dosnt belong in box. Life donst come all gift wraped in a box.

I know who my soulmate is....
Im also awear of many, many spiritaul concepts or conceptions out there.
I do know me best....I do know what my heart or soul tells me.

Yeah man....Put yourself out there.
To some people it's FEARS.
To other's its Like living by the seat of your pants....

Yeah man..it's like that for me too.
Stop the fucken games, Drop all the bullshit.
Just come and walk with me...Be in the moment with me.
Lets share our breath......Lets celebrate life.

Ive experinced that...many, many beautiful moments with someone i love very much.
Enough of those moments to fill many, many lifetime over and over than someone that's
waiting for that perfect moment or circumstamces.

Every moment is the perfect moment.
Becuase all I'll ever have is this moment.

Ok, ok. I may have been a little general, vague and exagerated certain things.

Of course i understand that for this to happen both sides of the coin must share face up time so to speak.
It's not that i would want a mold of myself with breasts, more just a girl with just similar intrests would be nice. But intrests are a bonus compared to values and understanding in my eyes.
The issue would be the lack of this understanding i've encountered.

I mean it's all well and simple to fall across a good looking girl with a good heart but to me if i truly ment this "soul" thing then i wouldn't just want to be complacent with something because it's nice.
I've seen several of my friends settle that way and their lives do not seem the better for it, they may tick along just fine but there is no thrill to be had for them.
I suppose i overreact my judging based on where i live, the average quality of people leaves something to be desired.

Logic tells me i am overreacting, and that i have a potential many years in which to find this girl.
But the feeling in me says i'm not.

Maybe i just need some new friends.
Maybe i just need to be patiant.
Maybe alter my standards.
Maybe i'm chasing fairytales.

The worst part, i feel i have something mentally conflicting.
constantly trying to make a good impression, and coming over too strong when i do.
I'm a good listener ,but an excessive talker too at times, i mix things and confuse meaning in trying to hit what i feel.



And thank you all for the responses, this is proving a friendly, active community.
I respect that people would both sypathise and criticise too, but constructivly and truthfully.

yeah...there's a lot of people on here from all walks of life and different experinces
or lack there of.

I can only share with you my experince, strength and hope.
Be honest and truthful to you. What's the piont of telling you
a bunch of BS????? It's not going to help you.
Sometimes the truth isnt pretty.

At the end of the day...you must do what is best and right for you.
Follow your heart , your gut or you intuition (inner knowingness).
Trust in yourself.....even if you make mistakes.
You must understand.....You're always making the best possible decision.

As you know...there's something quite not right.
You have witness...when people settle...they're arnt too happy.
Trust me , I ve done that too...Got the pretty girl that's sweet as honey..several times.
They totally kissed my ass....But they could never light my fire.
It might be safe and comfortiable...but that not the same as living and loving
someone that sets your soul on fire. You feel alive...alive.
You feel free. You feel turn on turn on. You see life crytal clear.

You're beyound being in love. There's also a very, very peaceful feeling.

However my soulmate likes to put me through the paces. She makes my blood
boil oneway or the other. She pushes me beyound the extreem. Sometimes
I feel so so much hatered towards her But my love for her is always greater than my hate.
It's her way of playing with me or putting me through the acid test and knowing we're always going to love each other through it all in this life time or the next. Unconditional love on over drive.
And Ive hurted her just the same. And she's cried her heart out for me just the same.
Everything about our relationship and love is totally intense with so so much passion.
Yes sometimes lots and lots of conflicts. At the sametime i cant help but to hear her childish laughter in my heart.

I mean...how many people actaully can or have danced under the moonlight
to just the sound of your partner's heart beat?
Yeah it's like a crazy dream that we actaully experinced...that most people just
read about or have fantacy about. But you know it's real.
We're like in our own world....heaven on earth.
Ive experinced many many moments like that with her...It's better than hollywood.
Other times i can just take a simple stroll with her and be just as happy and alive.

I dont know what exactly we came to this earth to experince or create.
I do know we have a very beautiful duaghter together.
There's also so much love and conflicts with her just the same.
But it's always that unconditional love that's always been there.

A lot of it has to do with GOD...but we're not church attending people
that's walking around stiff.lol

Yeah...it's like we have this beauty and the beast theme going.
She's very pretty and have big boobs.lol
Ive choosen to take on this body...just to fresia with her too. hahahaaaa
Seriously man...it's cuts through a lot of honeysuckle in this world.
But she remembers me and knows who i am....

Fair enough I appreciate what you are saying there.

I think there in lies the problem. Its not easy to find the one thats right for you or for anyone and the more boxes a girl has to tick the slimmer the chances of you meeting her but if you want to meet someone special you have to be a bit fussy and be prepared to wait a little longer. I think a lot of people settle, they bumble along and perhaps waist a few opportunities with people who could have been a life partner because its not the right time and then hit an age where they think honeysuckle time to settle down and put a ring on the finger of the first person who will take them. So I think you are always right to be looking, you don't want to be looking back with regret at the one you let get away as it wasn't the right time, its always the right time!

Personally I always hoped to meet someone who would have her own interests, they didn't have to match mine but its reassuring that they find life interesting enough to want more from it other than an hour of xfactor every saturday. A few shared general interests are also good, in terms of books and films and music and a similar life view and a personality that will compliment mine not react against it is a must. Someone who gets me and allows me to be me and vice versa, thats not too specific I think but still took me a long while to really find that which in a way is maybe good because I think I'm in a better place to know how to hold on to it and I'm now with someone who I consider perfect for me for the first time (I'm 36 by the way but don't let that discourage you!)

Maybe this is the unpopular opinion, but I think the sort of person you look surely exists some place, and if you are very patient and keep to look probably you can find them..

You seem like you know yourself pretty well, the good and the bad, there isn't anything wrong with what you are looking for. In a perfect world everyone would have that one person that they click with perfectly. Sadly though sometimes they never meet. I'd say to take your time, you are young and have years ahead of you to figure it all out. You may change your outlook over the next few years and realize some of the things you are looking for are not that important anymore. Who knows, maybe you'll find happiness with someone who is your complete opposite.

The Good Citizen said:

Fair enough I appreciate what you are saying there.

I think there in lies the problem. Its not easy to find the one thats right for you or for anyone and the more boxes a girl has to tick the slimmer the chances of you meeting her but if you want to meet someone special you have to be a bit fussy and be prepared to wait a little longer. I think a lot of people settle, they bumble along and perhaps waist a few opportunities with people who could have been a life partner because its not the right time and then hit an age where they think honeysuckle time to settle down and put a ring on the finger of the first person who will take them. So I think you are always right to be looking, you don't want to be looking back with regret at the one you let get away as it wasn't the right time, its always the right time!

Personally I always hoped to meet someone who would have her own interests, they didn't have to match mine but its reassuring that they find life interesting enough to want more from it other than an hour of xfactor every saturday. A few shared general interests are also good, in terms of books and films and music and a similar life view and a personality that will compliment mine not react against it is a must. Someone who gets me and allows me to be me and vice versa, thats not too specific I think but still took me a long while to really find that which in a way is maybe good because I think I'm in a better place to know how to hold on to it and I'm now with someone who I consider perfect for me for the first time (I'm 36 by the way but don't let that discourage you!)

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Thats exactly how I feel. The delimma. Im 45.lol
Yeah....You dont wanna wait too long and totally miss the boat either.

Yes...have your caustion flags on...but sometimes you gotta throw your caustions into the wind.
The biggest risk you'll ever take is not taking a risk at all....

IDK...Ive been with plenty of women. Lots of different experinces.
Good and bad.

But i do know...that one person that's been in and out of my life
so many times. Thats undiscrible feeling that the OP speak of....
I love her so much. My heart explodes. TeARS rushes out of me
sometimes when I hold her. It's totally intense and overwhleming
just the same...but they're tears of love. I get goose bumps all over
and a shivering sensations as if Im radiating with love.
In a total state of blizts or extacy.

As many women as Ive been with and the many, many other
exciting bloode puming adreline experinces...
No one or nothing else had been able to trigger that or bring
that out of me. She brings out the best in me and also the
worst in me.

Some say that soulmates generally will not meet on earth...
When they do...it's like 2 worlds colliding. Like matter and anti matter colliding.
It'll set the world on fire with lots and lots of energy.
And thet's pretty much how it have been with Sassy and I. Everything gets all intense.
It might look or is like total chaos at times but if you look at the bigger picture ...there's actaully
natual order to all things or law of creations...It's very beautiful.

It's like a crap shoot sometimes...and what ive learned or was suggested is to follow my GUT INSTINT or intuition...when my head is going oneway and my heart is going to the other.

Well those cookie cutter girls are like too clingie to me. (co dependency)
It's nice at first to get that attention..but after a while
it's like...please fucken get off of me, i cant breathe.
Then they wanna throw me in the box with them. Hence the freaken controll issues and expectations...ect.
The funny thing is...They think I'm like a square peg that gonna get reamed through a round hole and
come out to whatever it is they want me to be or ought to be.
What they dont get is....Im like those foam spoung (like spoung bob.)
Once I go through thier holes and come out the other side...I floff back up and still retain myself.lmao

I have my own interest and hobbies. Time away from the
relationship. Play, write my music, art , whatever other interest
I have such as aviations or focus on my career...ect
Or even time to hang out with my friends sometimes...Healthy friends..
People that's supportive of us and not looking to bang my partner.
Healthy activities that dosnt destroy the relationship...
but makes my heart founder for being away from her for a little
while.

I also need alone time...To recharge and sort through everything.
To be me and be okay with me. Get right with me and communicate
with my creature, GOD, HP , Higher Self, Spirit of the sun, nature or
whatever spirituality terms people wanna put on it. But not to the extreem of isolations myself from life and living.

Anyway...I did this once...
At the age of 4 My step daughter didnt know how to swim rather wanna swim.
We even took her to swimming lessons...but she would never go swimming without her floaty.
I spent months with her...letting her kick or paddle. (enabling)
She wouldnt swim......
Oneday i just threw her into the deep end of the pool ( her mother was angery at me of course)...
My daughter screamed and cried...Then she started going under....
A very very near death experience.
Intuitively she remember how to swim that day. All of it came back to her.

I also turst that my daughter has the ability to take care of herself in whatever life situations.
Even if she's going under sometimes. She will remember who she is, turst in herself and what she's capiable of.
Its the same sort of thing Sassy and I gose through in life.....

Who knows if you will meet whoever it is..but you'll only know if you get close enough to a person and talk about these very things. And I would imagine someone who truly did "love" you would do these things for you if they meant that much. That's just how it is. I'm sure you would do the same for her too.

The Good Citizen said:

Fair enough I appreciate what you are saying there.

I think there in lies the problem. Its not easy to find the one thats right for you or for anyone and the more boxes a girl has to tick the slimmer the chances of you meeting her but if you want to meet someone special you have to be a bit fussy and be prepared to wait a little longer. I think a lot of people settle, they bumble along and perhaps waist a few opportunities with people who could have been a life partner because its not the right time and then hit an age where they think honeysuckle time to settle down and put a ring on the finger of the first person who will take them. So I think you are always right to be looking, you don't want to be looking back with regret at the one you let get away as it wasn't the right time, its always the right time!

Personally I always hoped to meet someone who would have her own interests, they didn't have to match mine but its reassuring that they find life interesting enough to want more from it other than an hour of xfactor every saturday. A few shared general interests are also good, in terms of books and films and music and a similar life view and a personality that will compliment mine not react against it is a must. Someone who gets me and allows me to be me and vice versa, thats not too specific I think but still took me a long while to really find that which in a way is maybe good because I think I'm in a better place to know how to hold on to it and I'm now with someone who I consider perfect for me for the first time (I'm 36 by the way but don't let that discourage you!)

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That's wonderful to hear good citizen. Sometimes I'm afraid that it may never happen for me. I'm 26. I agree completely. It's so important both partners have interests and their own lives as well as the one they share. You never want to be someone's entire world. I also agree when you meet someone you truly connect with. It's always the right time, because "chemistry", for lack of a better term, is so very very rare.