How to ask this girl out, Please, tips. - How to build attraction

Hi all.

I have been talking to this girl at the local shop for a while now.. I don't see her often because she always has change of shifts.

I first talked to her about 6 months or so ago and I found I had an attraction to her and still do..

So recently I talked to her and asked her how her "OTHER" job is going, something she told me 6+ months ago, she said it was going good and I was saying if she enjoys it and we talked for a bit.

The next step, (I already know her name, but we haven't introduced ourselves) She works at the counter so I don't have long until someone else queues up and stuffs me up, because usually she is only in the less then 10 item isle.

I was thinking of asking her out for lunch when I introduce myself a bit and tell her a brief about myself.

Something like, Would you like to meet me for lunch on "Wednesday" or something like that.

Can you give me some tips on how to build attraction so she has a better chance to say yes, I'm a fun outgoing guy, but I don't want her to think I am boring.

Also a tip on asking her name since I think she already knows I know it and it would be a bit weird saying whats your name when I already know it and she knows that? =/ I have never said her name to her.

Thanks.



What do you think of these for a conversation, I am not script writing and wanting to follow a certain script, I just want it to be natural, but what I am thinking at the moment is something along the lines of.

- By the way my name is "X" so your name is "her name" did I pronounce that correctly?

- Then I want to compliment her about her hair, because its nice, though she hasn't re done it for a while, maybe 1 month ago, would it be strange if I complimented it now and never did before? =/

No, it's not wierd to compliment her.....
You can never say anything wrong if she's interested.
It's pretty much straight up and straight forward. Somewhere along the line
of.
" Hey i like you and i like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out
with me sometime or can I have your number"

Especailly in a situation like that when you dont really have time to chit chat.

Ive asked a chick out in front of her parents at church , after a meeting.
fresia it...she was totally hot. It was the first time i saw her and I would
never see her again if I didnt say anything. I couldnt let her get away
without knowing. Id be kicking myself in the head. No guts, no glory.
She only went there that night to support her sister
She actaully said yes. We went out for dinner and a movie 10 mins later.
I actaully kick myself in the head about her at times.....
She fell in love with me and would always give me a hug years later
asked me if i was single and tell me where she lives...stuff like that.
Actaully one of prettiest, sweetiest and healthy woman Ive gone out with.

Anyway...when i asked her..it's was direct and simple.
I asked her if she was bussied that night..if not..then would she like to go
out have dinner, hangout or see a movie with me?

Here lately...Ive been lazy as far as hunting. Its niether here or there for me.
I'll go hang out at a local bar/karee oki bar on the weekends.
I'll sit at the bar counter in my little conner.....
But it's where the drinks has to get order.
So when babes come to the counter and order drinks...I'll chit chat with them
while they wait for thier drinks. It's hit and miss. But it's like a shooting gallery.lmao
If it's a number's and percentage game. I'm racking up the numbers like crazy.
fresia the on line bullshit. fresia all that women having the odds in their favor of scaning
through 100s of dudes...and picking whom they want. fresia all that photo shop bullshit.
fresia all that chasing women honeysuckle. These women are coming to me...Im checking them
out fulley. I get to pick and choose whom i hit on. I scan through them and get to know
their personality and interest.LOL
Yeap...pretty much just intrduce myself or say some ice breakers. Sometimes the women
actaully start a conversation with me first.

As far as knowing who's interested in me or not...it's realitively the same.
A woman will always make herself avaliiable to me oneway or the other if she likes me.
Like i say...Ive been asked out by plenty of women.

My attitude about it at the moment is ...women are just hobbies to me.
It's nither here or there...what this dose is releave tension and I dont come of as being desperate.
It's not a big freaken deal. I've been with plenty of beautiful women.
If a chick truns me down for whatever her reasons. It's not a big deal.
There's lines of women waiting to order drinks.lmao

Rambo_Muscle said:

Hi all.

I have been talking to this girl at the local shop for a while now.. I don't see her often because she always has change of shifts.

I first talked to her about 6 months or so ago and I found I had an attraction to her and still do..

So recently I talked to her and asked her how her "OTHER" job is going, something she told me 6+ months ago, she said it was going good and I was saying if she enjoys it and we talked for a bit.

The next step, (I already know her name, but we haven't introduced ourselves) She works at the counter so I don't have long until someone else queues up and stuffs me up, because usually she is only in the less then 10 item isle.

I was thinking of asking her out for lunch when I introduce myself a bit and tell her a brief about myself.

Something like, Would you like to meet me for lunch on "Wednesday" or something like that.

Can you give me some tips on how to build attraction so she has a better chance to say yes, I'm a fun outgoing guy, but I don't want her to think I am boring.

Also a tip on asking her name since I think she already knows I know it and it would be a bit weird saying whats your name when I already know it and she knows that? =/ I have never said her name to her.

Thanks.



What do you think of these for a conversation, I am not script writing and wanting to follow a certain script, I just want it to be natural, but what I am thinking at the moment is something along the lines of.

- By the way my name is "X" so your name is "her name" did I pronounce that correctly?

- Then I want to compliment her about her hair, because its nice, though she hasn't re done it for a while, maybe 1 month ago, would it be strange if I complimented it now and never did before? =/

Click to expand...

I've been in a situation like this loads of times. I have asked women out who worked in shops. None of them said 'yes' - I hope you have more luck !

Basically what lonesome crow said "Anyway...when i asked her..it's was direct and simple.
I asked her if she was bussied that night..if not..then would she like to go
out have dinner, hangout or see a movie with me?"

Hi Rambo_Muscle. There's no real proper way to do it... it is honestly pretty simple but of course, it can be much easier said than done.

I know people who have met their partners (boyfriends/girlfriends etc) from being served by them through retail, customer service etc. So it's entirely possible to ask out a stranger, or at least someone you don't know very well.

The only way to do it is just ask!

You could just try and introduce yourself. If you know her name, you could just ask her "Your name is <blah blah> right?" - then when she tells you, just say "Oh okay, sorry I felt it was a bit rude of me that I know your name and you don't know mine, I'm <your name>, nice to meet you, sorta." - or something... turn it into a joke, laugh, smile, but try not to be "fake" about it. I guess the next time you shop there and she serves you, strike up a conversation, ask her how she's doing etc... then ask her for her name with the example I mentioned.

When you ask, try and ask her casually or calmly, "Hey, I hope this doesn't sound weird or anything but I was wondering, would you like to hang out sometime? Maybe we could go grab some lunch and have a chat?" - or something along those lines... I guess, try to be friendly, casual and if she says no - don't be bummed out (especially in front of her) and if she says yes - try not to get too excited. If she says yes, awesome, then grab her number and exchange details. Regardless, I honestly believe if you ask her, she will be flattered regardless if she says yes or no.

If she says no, well at least you tried and honestly, trying is better than standing back and doing nothing.

I know it's easier said than done but all you've got to do is try. What's the worst that could happen? Have to take risks. Good luck.

DiscoSpider said:

Hi Rambo_Muscle. There's no real proper way to do it... it is honestly pretty simple but of course, it can be much easier said than done.

I know people who have met their partners (boyfriends/girlfriends etc) from being served by them through retail, customer service etc. So it's entirely possible to ask out a stranger, or at least someone you don't know very well.

The only way to do it is just ask!

You could just try and introduce yourself. If you know her name, you could just ask her "Your name is <blah blah> right?" - then when she tells you, just say "Oh okay, sorry I felt it was a bit rude of me that I know your name and you don't know mine, I'm <your name>, nice to meet you, sorta." - or something... turn it into a joke, laugh, smile, but try not to be "fake" about it. I guess the next time you shop there and she serves you, strike up a conversation, ask her how she's doing etc... then ask her for her name with the example I mentioned.

When you ask, try and ask her casually or calmly, "Hey, I hope this doesn't sound weird or anything but I was wondering, would you like to hang out sometime? Maybe we could go grab some lunch and have a chat?" - or something along those lines... I guess, try to be friendly, casual and if she says no - don't be bummed out (especially in front of her) and if she says yes - try not to get too excited. If she says yes, awesome, then grab her number and exchange details. Regardless, I honestly believe if you ask her, she will be flattered regardless if she says yes or no.

If she says no, well at least you tried and honestly, trying is better than standing back and doing nothing.

I know it's easier said than done but all you've got to do is try. What's the worst that could happen? Have to take risks. Good luck.

Click to expand...

Dam! Yeah, thats right! I know it deep inside.. Thanks to all who messaged.

I am not ugly or anything, I go to the gym, workout, I have lean muscle, looking after my health etc. I know I can get girls if I tried but I am not like the other guys, I don't drink, I don't smoke or take drugs, Most people say to me its so hard to do anything sober, but I stick with my instinct and beliefs.

Lately I've been suffering from some depression and stuff, I get nervous, I only see her once a week because she only works at the supermarket once a week.. I talked to her today.. I was angry with myself because I only had 4 items that I purchased so it was a real quick talk.

I said, "Hey how have you been" "Hows your week been" She said not bad, its been cold though and stuff like that, I asked what she did on the weekend she said she went to a football game and then I asked what her team was and told her mine (even though I don't even like football haha)

Then it was fair well from there.. I have talked to her a got to know her a bit from these past few months.

I know she does hairdressing, (I know her name, but she doesn't know that, or she probably does, but I haven't introduced myself), She laughs sometimes when I say some stuff)

My plan was.. To introduce myself to her and also tell her that I sometimes go out with friends and stuff, but I always drive because I don't drink. (I was thinking of saying that because it kind of puts me in a different position from the guys she prob always meets) Please give advice on this.

I don't have time to talk to her unfortunately and I really like her, shes always in my head, always thinking of her, its real hard .

Do you think I should ask her out for lunch along the lines of what you said? introduce myself first of course

I have never dated a girl or gone out with a girl or even kissed a girl.

Thanks for the help.

Hey man. I don't think you need to go into too much detail when talking to her (about the whole non-drinking stuff). That's good, but I don't know if necessary. I guess just try and spark up a conversation with her, maybe ask what she may have planned on the weekend, or did last weekend - that could give you the opportunity, "Oh I'm gonna head out with some friends to the bar, I'm not gonna be drinking though I'll take it a bit easy" "Oh why's that?" she might ask, "I don't really drink to be honest." - or something...

She sounds friendly if she speaks to you in conversation. I'm assuming you're a regular customer so, that's nice. I know with retail/customer service, employees generally have to be nice to customers but... I've worked in customer service/retail before - friendships can honestly start and develop through customer/employee interaction (regular customers).

I think yeah, regarding my advice before... you could give that a go. Be casual and cool but please, don't hold your breath. Be prepared for the possibility of rejection (I'm not saying this will happen so don't not be discouraged, but it is entirely possible). If she says no - just act cool and casual, "No problem" or something. If she says yes - don't get too excited, just be cool, be calm. "That sounds awesome" "Great" etc.

Be cool, be casual, don't take it seriously and do it all with a natural, friendly smile. Best of luck.

well...when I ask Cherri out in front of her parents. I was clean and sober.
It was actaully after an NA meeting. She wasnt a member or had any drinking
or drug problems. She only went there that one night to support her sister.
She was actaully a nurse. I like hot nurses
I wasnt going to see her again, if i didnt speak up...
So if she turned me down. I wouldnt see her again anyway.
It was striaght up like that. So I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I want what I want and the only person that standing in my way was me....
It was like, fresia it. Do or die kind of thing.

Cherri was fine, fine, fine....She could have been a super model if she
wanted to. I didnt know she was a nurse..but the way she dressed
and carried herself, she looks like a woman that was way out of my league.

So whatever fears I had..I had to let go, faced or walked through.
All those fuckie feelings came over me. Crazy stupid honeysuckle ran across
my mind. I took a deep breath and strolled towards Cherri.

I took up courage inspite of it all.Serious mother fucken balls.....
What's really cool about that was.. Her mother gave me a hug too.
She told us kids to have a great time. Obviously her mother
knew I was a sort of badboy, but deep down inside she knew
I was really a nice guy with fucken balls. A man that would
be nice to her duaghter. A man with determinations and would
also do whatever it takes and take the actions to get the job done inspite of everything.
Because these are all the things i would have to do..to provide Cherri a nice loving home
and the quilty of life Cherri deserves. As a man, i couldnt wait around for honeysuckle to happen.
I had to make it happen and sometimes rather quickly. Get over my bullshit quickly
to get whatever I want and whatever Cherri wants.
She knew i was kind da scared to asked her duaghter out. You cant fool mothers.
Straight up.....Cherri's mother saw the confidence in me and the apple dosnt fall to far from the tree.
"Courage is not without fears"
Yeah...those first few moments and the steps I took told her mother alot about me.
Obviously i couldn't say stupid ass lines to Cherri in front of her mother.lol
Even though i hitted on her daughter big time. Im cool like that.
Plus her big ass titays has a radar with my name on it
Of couse she caught me for a sec here and there stairing at her boobs.lmao

All the complicaTed honeysuckle....At the end of the day, I still had to keep it simple and direct.

The thing of it is....I was also a business manager. I had plenty of drop dead gorgeous
saleswomen come to my office all the time. Flirted with plenty of them.lol
Exposure to these professional women everyday. Talking to a hot babe wasnt a big deal to me.

Even though I was in casual just wearing my shorts and tank top....when i asked Cherri out.
She didnt know who I was, what i did for a living. How much money i made...ect
None of those things was a factor when I asked her out.
I had my fucken badass sports car parked around the conner. She didnt know....
She also found out later I was a badass guitar player and messed me like a rock star..hahaaa

So I wasnt going to tell her a bounch of bullshit lines...especially in front of her mom.lol
"Yo babe...Im a badass guitar player and I make honeysuckle loads of money...blah...blah blah...."
"How about you and I just fresia???"lol

Plus Ive been with pretty girls all my life. Wheather i was just dating them or had serious relationships
with them. So...a lot of it is...simple exposure and experince which lower the tensions. Im simply more
lax around women when I interact with them. Its, take the body first and the mind will follow kind of thing.
Im also playful with a quirky sense of humor. I can clown around and laugh at myself with the woman
Im in a relationship. Act like a fool..the women arnt laughing at me..They're laughing with me.
Which plays a factor in my sense of security about myself and not worry so much what people things about
me....

My piont is...you're worrying too much of being like a fool. Worrying too much what others may think
about you. Worry too much about your reputations..ect Take yourself and life too seriously...
These are basic good self esteem and confidence stuff...
So fucken what if Im a goofball. As long as I get it...I get it.

So fucken what if you just straight up and ask this chick out in front of the world...
other people or customers in line behind you.
Straight up just ask her.....who gives a fresia what other people thinks.
So ******* what if you get shot down and reject in front of other...
So ******* what if you straigth up and ask another chick out that you find attractive in front
of other people....Being rude or a fool?
O really???...that's worrying too much what other thinks.

I dindt worried too much what Cherri's mom was going to think of me either or felt I was rude
hitting on her daughter in front of her....Ya know what Im saying?
There were honeysuckle loads of people standing around when I asked her out too...
People i knew that probably would think I was a dumbass, if i got shot down too.lol
I didnt give a fresia what they thought...I didnt wanna fresia them...
I wanted to fresia Cherri....Ya know what Im saying?

Do you want results or worries what others think ????
Wiegth these two simple things out...ponder about it for a sec or two....
It's not rocket science......

At the time in my life...I had just gotten out of a LT relationship.
I also had a sponsor that help me through alot. Mr. Miakie sortta kind of dude.lmao
He made do things that i felt was stupid and retarded...
Fucken wax on...wax off kind of thing....the lessons or principles hidden in the activites
he asked me to do...but my mind and body had to graps it and process it.

For 90 days...I bitched and moan. Cried my heart out. He allow me to do that.
But after a whiles ..I got into a rut of just going to work and coming home...then call my sponsor
to ***** and moan...***** and moan some more.lmao
He also knew I needed a woman in my life and needed to move forward with my life....

Then oneday he told me to go out into the court yard of the church and get on my knees and pray
to the statue of Saint Francis...That Saint Fransic would grant me all my hopes and dreams...even if it's a hot chick.lmao
I was like "WTF you do mean???? Get down on my knees during daylight in front of the fucken world...Id looked like
a fucken nutcase and a fool".lol
He told me....."follow the fucken instructions or gtfo."lmao
"go pray to Saint Francis , get on your knees for 15 mins or go the fresia home and cry some more"lol

So I went into the court yard. Got on my knees...Prayed to the statue...Looked around to see if other people
were watching..And of course there were. It felt totally mother fucken rediculous to me.FFS
But i did...For a moment or two i really felt Sanit Fransic could work mirracles.

Then a couple of weeks goses by.
So we're just hanging out having coffee or whatever...
Then he asked me what i thought about a chick that just walked by.
Id tell him..."yeah dude, she's hot. I'd like to have her"
Then he would tell me.." go ask her out or go home N whine like a little *****"lmao
Of course the first 3-4 women totally rejected me. I got shot down and felt like honeysuckle...
Then he would tell me to go pray to Sain Fraincis some more...Well fresia me.lmao
What in the hell is the world gonna think???

Saint Francis granted me, my prayers...Cherri and more.lmao

And of course...He pulled me aside oneday and told me..I should reconsider narrowing down
the numbers of women i was dating and jugling....
In the process of all of that...Id asked so many women out. Gave my numbers to lots of women,
some of them didnt called me back until months later...stuff like that. I was dating 5-6 women at the sametime.
My sponsor also knew...I also needed to date differnt women. So that I may know all women arnt the same.
Plus I was still vaunerable and tend to fall in love with the first woman i meet quickly.
It was healthy for me to dated different women.

What Im also say is...I can be informed not to worry so much what people say....
I had to practice it or put it into actions someway, somehow.
My sponsor didnt go into great details about some of the barriers that was blocking me...He knew and can preach to me about it.
He simply got me to pray to a statue over and over again so that my mind and body can process it. My body also had to
process it. It was a gradaul process. He simply use the statue as a bridge for me to get over to the other side.
A steping stone...Baby steps...ect.
He was also trying to teach me about faith and trust. Having faith and trust in a fucken statue seem redicuous to me.
It wasnt the staute in itself...It was more about my trust and faith.
He could had asked me to go pray to a fucken wall for all that matters.
I had major fucken trust issues...especailly after a relationship break up.