Where do you meet women? How did you meet your partner? Help?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Among the Sleep

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2012
Messages
279
Reaction score
0
Location
Northeast US
It's a pretty simple question, and I guess I know the answer. That it can basically be anywhere, and it happens at the most random times, and blah blah blah.

But let's just say I'm looking for a girl. Girls in my town are pretty out of reach for me...I'm 23 and out of college, so I don't know too many girls from my town anymore, the college scene has kinda dried up, though I'll definitely be there this year to hang out with some people that I still know up there.

I mean...bars? That never seems to work, but you know, girls do hang out there, maybe not the type that I want to attract. Mutual friends? Sure...just wish there were a few more people around to hang out with that were plugged into that type of thing.

Book stores? Grocery stores? Do I try to strike up a conversation with a cute cashier somewhere? Do I try to get to an outdoor environment somewhere, like a park or something, and saying stupid honeysuckle about the weather to a cute girl I see? How does one strike up a conversation with a stranger while sober?

Do I resign myself to the fact that it's hopeless? Like say, tonight. If I just wanted to meet a girl. Just go find a cute one and strike up a conversation. Where would you go? Where did you meet your girlfriend/boyfriend? I just...sorry...
 
I've never known anyone who had any dating success from meeting people in bars. Judgment is usually quite impaired in such a situation.

But the simple answer is - you can meet people just about anywhere. School, work, libraries, the grocery store, shops, walking on the street. The catch is if you see someone you think you're interested in, you have to be the one to strike up the conversation!
You can start with "Hi", ask them about how their day is going, comment on something they have on their person/with them (a band shirt? a book? a dog?)... it can be anything really. If you approach someone in a respectful and in a friendly way, they are more likely to respond favorably. Talk to them like a person, like you're looking for friendship.

I've encountered a lot of men in my life who although seemed or were actually interested, didn't have the courage to just come up and talk to me, so it would end up becoming kind of to extremely creepy after a while if I would see them regularly. Some even ended up stalking me. So, avoid that. Just go strike up a conversation about anything (within reason!)

I ended up meeting my husband through mutual friends. The mutual friends I met him through involved one of them randomly approaching me on the street because he saw I was carrying a map, so he inquired about it, asked where I was from, introduced me to his sister and a few months later my husband came to visit them.
So, much can happen from just having the courage to talk to someone you find interesting.
 
I met my last long-term partner from work.

We were both working in a retail store, and she was friendly to most everyone, but I pursued her by talking with her, and basically making 'good use' of her friendly nature by planning things with her, talking with her about things that she liked, etc.

Eventually, I asked her out for coffee (about 5 months after we started working together), and we became bf/gf about 2 weeks after that. I eventually left that job, so I didn't have to worry about the whole "don't date in your workplace" thing that is so-often discouraged.

So, for me, it was work. Maybe take a part-time job or volunteer position in a public-servicing field that gets you in contact with the the type of people you are interested in (age, interests, etc). Something that you can enjoy doing (or at least not actively dislike). If you are enjoying your job, people will likely want to be around you as you do it, and the chances are decent that you will meet someone that you could pursue.

Plus, worst case is you earn some money, or some good karma in the mean time

As for actively fishing "tonight", "right now", I'm not sure. I think you have to have a 'group' or 'crowd' to party with in order to meet new people at 'parties' or 'clubs' / 'bars'. Do you have any friends that you could go out and 'party' with at a club or other social gathering?
 
I met my boyfriend outside of a club. Don't dis the bars! Though, you'll have more luck with bar dating if you're both on the more sober side. When two totally drunk people meet and "hit it off" it usually ends in a one night stand.
 
I like that.. Let people tell real stories of how relationships happen, instead of giving you 'hints' and 'tips' that often aren't properly rooted in reality. Can't add much myself though.
 
You know i've been wondering about the same question just the other way around..how and where to meet a nice guy? Especially since i'm not a club/ bar person.

I didn't get a lot of luck so far but what i tried was dating sites, can be okay, though you need to be careful as in to make sure the person is who they claim to be.

If you're a person into arts i'm sure you could go to an exhibition and if you see a nice girl you could just walk up to her and try to chat to her about the art and then eventually find out more about each other and maybe exchange numbers.

But you could also chat up a girl in a book store or a music store..say they want to buy something you read/ know and you could give a review of the product to them or just ask about their taste in music.

Having hobbies are supposed to help you meet more people who share your interests. Like joining a meet up group even, there are plenty based on intrests.

I hope this helps somehow:)
 
I met Renae at my house.
I met my first gf Rita, at her house.
I met Michelle at her house.
I met Lisa through her sister.
I met Andrea through school.
i met Julia at her house and in school.
I met Chelle at her work.
i met Danial and Misty through a freind. I was asked to go on a double date. Blinde date.
I've met many women at parties or wild nights on the town.
I met Sheryl at her house.
Windy knockded on my door.
I met Sherry at church.
I met Cherry at church.
I met Tracy on the street.
I met Lianna through Tracy.
I met Cyndi at a bar.
I met Jenni through work.
I met Jennifer at a recovery meeting.
I met Juliet after a recovery meeting.
I met Sarah at a friend's house.
I met Heather in a bar...cause she's a bar tender.
I met Amber in an on line coffee shop.
I met Monique after she kicked Sarah's ass.

Ive hung out at bars or night clubs long enough to know most women that
gose out with friends for drinks now and then arnt alkies or bar flies.

Heck, ive even met chicks on buses. They give me thier numbers..ect
Met chicks at concerts or while standing in line. Chit chat then party with them..ect

Some chicks do land on my lap. Others ive met becuase of putting myself out there.

It's not where you meet people. It's if you click and have connections and what you want to do with that connection.

Setting yourself up to meet Mrs Right at an art gallary, a wedding or hobbie club??? Thats a fantacy and hollywood fairy tales, man.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top