Do you sometimes think it's kinda cool...

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fuzzybutt

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Do you sometimes think it's kinda cool that you have something that bothers you week to week? Something that appears in your dreams constantly and keeps you up at night?

Like you tell yourself now I know how it feels to be that person: Mentally/emotionally disturbed.

I can't believe that after 4-5 months I still have regrets that eat away at me. Even after apologizing and reading many articles on changing and talking to friends and family about the things I've done or said and they reassured me that I'll be fine, my conscious still tortures me.

I guess I won't ask how you all deal with it but if you want to share something go ahead.
 
Tell me about it... i can relate to you.

It's unnecessary torture that we put ourselves through. I can't tell you exactly how to deal with it because i haven't learnt how to. I've tried to reassure myself, tried to ignore it, nothing works so far...

But i guess it'll also have to depend on the situation? What exactly is bothering you? If you don't mind me asking that is...
 
No, I don't think it's cool at all. I've been doing that with something that happened last week with my boss. It's been bothering me since and can't get it out of my head or stop worrying about it. It is driving me crazy, it's messing with my sleeping.
 
I've had this happen innumerable times over the course of my life - When I was young, I would worry about the stupidest things, like dropping my pencil in class, and everyone looked at me and laughed. Later in life, it would be things like when my boss would holler my name across the office, only to give me praise for doing a job well done... But I would still have nightmares about his bellowing voice, echoing across long, granite-stone corridors in my mind.

I've had nightmares about teachers from university singling my out in class, and telling me that I'm stupid, then I'm not wearing pants, then the girl of my dreams is telling me I'm just not good enough, then I'm falling through the floor, and dropping into a pit of spears tipped with green-glass gems, sharp and and scintillating in the moonlight, then being skewered, only to find that I can't die, and I thrash about trying to escape the pain, then a voice from above tells me it's all my fault, everything is my fault, it's my parents. Then I'm sitting at a table, adults are talking, deciding what to do with me, where to send 'this problem', then my uncle pulls a knife and stabs me in the small of my back, then I'm falling again, my fingers feverishly grasping at the blade-edge sticking from my guts, desperate to hold in the blood that continues to sputter from the wound. Just as I hit the ground, I wake up, clutching at my stomach and sweating profusely.....

Heh. I guess at this point, strange, tortuously disturbing dreams are just part of who I am. So I suppose in that case, it could, I GUESS, be considered 'cool'. :p.
 

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