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2fresh4youx

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You know the saying "In order to make money, you need to spend money". Well that is very similar to friends. In order to make friends, you need friends. If I have no friends, than I'm messed for life.

I have one friend, yes, that is going against what I said, but it's a dead connection. There is no way I will make friends through him, since I hardly ever speak to him, he's too busy with his own life and has pretty much no social life either.

So what do I do? Lie to people that I have friends or tell people the truth. Here is where the equation turns into a catch 22:

1. If I life to people, I'm only hurting myself and they will eventually find out that Im just a loner. I know this through experience. I lie to people all the time that I "go out".

2. If I tell people I have no friends, they won't want to know me. They will think I'm just a complete and uttter werido.

And if I choose not to talk about my social life and relationship, I'm just ignoring the problem really. It's just lying in disguise.

I've missed the boat for life. All my old school buddies are now in their closed social circles with their partners. I have no access to them or anyone elses social groups.

I have no interests, no hobbies, nothing going for me. Nothing unique about me. I'm short, working in a dead end job and have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I'm on medication and it's not working. OH yeah that's another thing. Now that I'm on medication and have been diagnosed with anxiety that pretty much rules me out as being any kind of normal person, and of course, what kind of girl would be stupid enough to get into a relationship with an individual like me? She'll run as far as a thousand miles if she finds out about the kind of person I am. Not to mention how shallow most, if not all women are. Males as well.

This truly is a horrible, horrible world.
 
Not necessarily. To make friends you only need the motivation to get them.

You don't need to tell people "Hey! I have no friends!". It's not a catch-22. It's just a rut that is difficult (yet, not impossible) to get out of.
 
Having money isn't the only way to make money. There's this thing called work, and billions of people do it every day. Same with making friends.
 
I'd be motivated if I had proof and knew that Non-shallow, nice people existed that would actually allow me into a social circle. I'm looking at the obvious here. I'm stuck. I cant change the past. A 21 year old who has no connections or ties whatsoever. At this age, people aren't interested in making friends. They're too busy living lives with their already comfortable 20+ friends that they have, ******* each other and getting mindlessly drunk every weekend (which is something I refuse to do). Friends was something you did back in high school.

I don't have a place in this world because no one deeply respects and understands the type of person I am.
 
Last time I remember, you can make friends any age. The proof is everywhere.

And now that we're all debating who's life is worse.... It's cool that you've had "old school buddies". I haven't :cool:. I have zero friends and zero social life; yet, I have the optimism that I'll make friends when I go to school.

My life is worse than yours. What prize do I win?
 
But if I ever want to make friends in the future, how do I explain to them how much of a loner I have been for most of my life? I want to be a different person. I want to be socialble. But I don't have the years of experience of doing so, to do it (If that makes sense). And I wouldnt exactly call them school buddies. I meant people I went to school with. I just hung around with them and never said anything. Trust me, I know what it means to be a complete loner and have no social life.
 
Don't mention it to them; just talk to them, casually. Meeting someone and then telling them that you're a loner is probably not the best way to make friends.

You have to exercise your social skills, by going out and talking to people, that's an excellent way to do so.
 
I was in your situation so I get where you are coming from.

I know you say that you don't have hobbies/interests, but you must have something?

If there is anything at all you are interested in, try find a club or place that does it. Trust me, people join clubs and societies by themselves the whole time.

I'm not saying it will be easy but surely its worth a shot?

Look at it this way, think of all the people who move cities without knowing anyone, they have to start somewhere.

I do know where you are coming from but it's never too late.

All the best
 
2fresh4youx said:
You know the saying "In order to make money, you need to spend money". Well that is very similar to friends. In order to make friends, you need friends. If I have no friends, than I'm messed for life.

I have one friend, yes, that is going against what I said, but it's a dead connection. There is no way I will make friends through him, since I hardly ever speak to him, he's too busy with his own life and has pretty much no social life either.

So what do I do? Lie to people that I have friends or tell people the truth. Here is where the equation turns into a catch 22:

1. If I life to people, I'm only hurting myself and they will eventually find out that Im just a loner. I know this through experience. I lie to people all the time that I "go out".

2. If I tell people I have no friends, they won't want to know me. They will think I'm just a complete and uttter werido.

And if I choose not to talk about my social life and relationship, I'm just ignoring the problem really. It's just lying in disguise.

I've missed the boat for life. All my old school buddies are now in their closed social circles with their partners. I have no access to them or anyone elses social groups.

I have no interests, no hobbies, nothing going for me. Nothing unique about me. I'm short, working in a dead end job and have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I'm on medication and it's not working. OH yeah that's another thing. Now that I'm on medication and have been diagnosed with anxiety that pretty much rules me out as being any kind of normal person, and of course, what kind of girl would be stupid enough to get into a relationship with an individual like me? She'll run as far as a thousand miles if she finds out about the kind of person I am. Not to mention how shallow most, if not all women are. Males as well.

This truly is a horrible, horrible world.
Click to expand...

why no interests or hobbies ?

Surely there is something you want to do ?
 
putter65 said:
2fresh4youx said:
You know the saying "In order to make money, you need to spend money". Well that is very similar to friends. In order to make friends, you need friends. If I have no friends, than I'm messed for life.

I have one friend, yes, that is going against what I said, but it's a dead connection. There is no way I will make friends through him, since I hardly ever speak to him, he's too busy with his own life and has pretty much no social life either.

So what do I do? Lie to people that I have friends or tell people the truth. Here is where the equation turns into a catch 22:

1. If I life to people, I'm only hurting myself and they will eventually find out that Im just a loner. I know this through experience. I lie to people all the time that I "go out".

2. If I tell people I have no friends, they won't want to know me. They will think I'm just a complete and uttter werido.

And if I choose not to talk about my social life and relationship, I'm just ignoring the problem really. It's just lying in disguise.

I've missed the boat for life. All my old school buddies are now in their closed social circles with their partners. I have no access to them or anyone elses social groups.

I have no interests, no hobbies, nothing going for me. Nothing unique about me. I'm short, working in a dead end job and have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I'm on medication and it's not working. OH yeah that's another thing. Now that I'm on medication and have been diagnosed with anxiety that pretty much rules me out as being any kind of normal person, and of course, what kind of girl would be stupid enough to get into a relationship with an individual like me? She'll run as far as a thousand miles if she finds out about the kind of person I am. Not to mention how shallow most, if not all women are. Males as well.

This truly is a horrible, horrible world.
Click to expand...

why no interests or hobbies ?

Surely there is something you want to do ?
Click to expand...

Of course but I'm not naturally good at anything; I have no obvious talents or skills. I'm not good at maths, I'm not good at writing. And I sure as hell do not want to lower my expectations and become a blue collar worker or something along those lines.
 
2fresh4youx said:
putter65 said:
2fresh4youx said:
You know the saying "In order to make money, you need to spend money". Well that is very similar to friends. In order to make friends, you need friends. If I have no friends, than I'm messed for life.

I have one friend, yes, that is going against what I said, but it's a dead connection. There is no way I will make friends through him, since I hardly ever speak to him, he's too busy with his own life and has pretty much no social life either.

So what do I do? Lie to people that I have friends or tell people the truth. Here is where the equation turns into a catch 22:

1. If I life to people, I'm only hurting myself and they will eventually find out that Im just a loner. I know this through experience. I lie to people all the time that I "go out".

2. If I tell people I have no friends, they won't want to know me. They will think I'm just a complete and uttter werido.

And if I choose not to talk about my social life and relationship, I'm just ignoring the problem really. It's just lying in disguise.

I've missed the boat for life. All my old school buddies are now in their closed social circles with their partners. I have no access to them or anyone elses social groups.

I have no interests, no hobbies, nothing going for me. Nothing unique about me. I'm short, working in a dead end job and have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I'm on medication and it's not working. OH yeah that's another thing. Now that I'm on medication and have been diagnosed with anxiety that pretty much rules me out as being any kind of normal person, and of course, what kind of girl would be stupid enough to get into a relationship with an individual like me? She'll run as far as a thousand miles if she finds out about the kind of person I am. Not to mention how shallow most, if not all women are. Males as well.

This truly is a horrible, horrible world.
Click to expand...

why no interests or hobbies ?

Surely there is something you want to do ?
Click to expand...

Of course but I'm not naturally good at anything; I have no obvious talents or skills. I'm not good at maths, I'm not good at writing. And I sure as hell do not want to lower my expectations and become a blue collar worker or something along those lines.
Click to expand...

I was thinking of sports you may be interested in.
 
I don't lie about life anymore. I say people need to deal with the harsh reality that is if. Some people, like me, are just born inferior. They need to accept that. At least that gives you some charity love.

You did not miss the life boat. I cannot say "my school buddies circles are closed" because I did not even have that.
 
2fresh4youx said:
I'd be motivated if I had proof and knew that Non-shallow, nice people existed that would actually allow me into a social circle. I'm looking at the obvious here. I'm stuck. I cant change the past. A 21 year old who has no connections or ties whatsoever. At this age, people aren't interested in making friends. They're too busy living lives with their already comfortable 20+ friends that they have, ******* each other and getting mindlessly drunk every weekend (which is something I refuse to do). Friends was something you did back in high school.

I don't have a place in this world because no one deeply respects and understands the type of person I am.
Click to expand...

I felt this way for way too many years and I was a loner too. I felt I had nothing in common with anyone, I felt very much alone. I haven't had a real friend since...1992 I think? We were bf's from high school. But like you said, people get busy living their lives. In my case they all had kids and weddings, I went the solo route. No one in your current circle may seem to deeply respect you or understand you, but I think you need to create your own fate by putting yourself in different situations and with a new circle of people. It might not always work out, but each time you make an effort to meet someone outside your current situation, it will broaden your scope a little. It worked for me lately.

And btw, talents don't necessarily come naturally. Great piano players aren't always born prodigies. Practice and determination make the talent. There are so many potential hobbies out there, you kind of just have to try a few out and see if you click with them. That's how you develop a passion for something, and if you can find someone who shares that passion, you'll click with them automatically.

I never wanted to admit to anyone I was alone for so long, but I found that in general, that's not what potential friends are really interested in, it was a perceived worry based on my low self-esteem.
 
kamya said:
Having money isn't the only way to make money. There's this thing called work, and billions of people do it every day. Same with making friends.
Click to expand...

That, my friend, is a true gem.
 

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