Height issues

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Carljones90

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Does anyone else suffer from being shy/low-confidence/low self-esteem from their height? Whether it's being too tall or in my case too short.

It's weird because I never really thought about my height until recently, I mean I always kind of knew I was a bit shorter then the other kids I used to hang around with but I just figured they were just taller then the norm. As I grew up though through university I really started to notice how much taller other people were around me. More specifically in the clubs where everyone hangs out, one day I just looked around me and noticed how everyone seemed to just tower over me literally and then I thought 'jeeze I am actually quite small'. Last time I checked I am about 5"5-5"6 and now it really starts to play on my mind a lot.

I guess why is because the tall guys are always the most confident as they do tower over all the girls, plus girls always say they want a tall, dark, handsome man but unfortunatly I'm not that. This is one of those few situations where I really can't do much about it as it's a physical and genetic thing but it does get to me a lot these days.
 
Your height doesn't make you who you are. My ex is shorter than I was by an inch...I met him the same night I met a guy who was 6'2 and another guy who was 5'11, that didn't stop me from completely disregarding the other two and going for my ex.

I'm okay with my height, but I am taller or the same height as most of the guys I know. I'm 5'9 (but I love heels, so I'm often taller than that :p).

If nothing else, you could always wear platform shoes :D
 
Before when I was at school, I wanted to be longer like other girls. But now I am kind of okey with my short height...
 
Carljones90 said:
Does anyone else suffer from being shy/low-confidence/low self-esteem from their height? Whether it's being too tall or in my case too short.

It's weird because I never really thought about my height until recently, I mean I always kind of knew I was a bit shorter then the other kids I used to hang around with but I just figured they were just taller then the norm. As I grew up though through university I really started to notice how much taller other people were around me. More specifically in the clubs where everyone hangs out, one day I just looked around me and noticed how everyone seemed to just tower over me literally and then I thought 'jeeze I am actually quite small'. Last time I checked I am about 5"5-5"6 and now it really starts to play on my mind a lot.

I guess why is because the tall guys are always the most confident as they do tower over all the girls, plus girls always say they want a tall, dark, handsome man but unfortunatly I'm not that. This is one of those few situations where I really can't do much about it as it's a physical and genetic thing but it does get to me a lot these days.

Being tall will help in the long run. I am the same height as you. My brother is alot taller and he has had a million girlfriends.

It's obviously not everything, far from it.

I remember my first girlfriend years ago. We met on a blind date and on the phone beforehand she was asking how tall I was.
 
I wish I was taller sometimes, I'm shorter than the average guy. But when it comes to women I don't mind short girls, makes me feel taller.
 
Sci-Fi said:
I wish I was taller sometimes, I'm shorter than the average guy. But when it comes to women I don't mind short girls, makes me feel taller.

i like women a little shorter than me
 
I had this as well. I was always short and got bullied for it quite a lot at school for it. I really used to believe no women would want to go out with my because of my height. My experience has been that women actually don't care that much about height. I'm about as tall as you and I've had quite a few taller women be very obviously interested in me.

If you're tall, society will treat you better and you'll be more confident (society is messed up in many ways and that's just one of them). The way I see it, if you can make up that shortfall of confidence in other ways - e.g. becoming a more interesting person, improving your conversational skills - you're golden. Part of this is the very difficult task of not comparing yourself to others for height. Ultimately I think it comes down to making lots of effort at becoming the best person YOU can possibly be. I think that's one of the most attractive qualities a person can have.

Have lots of things you're passionate about... develop your conversational skills... be dedicated to self-improvement... most importantly, these are all things that you can work on, that will give you the kind of confidence you had to EARN rather than be handed on a silver platter. That's always been enough for me to not give a flying fresia about being a bit shorter.

Also I should point out that nightclubs are awful places to be for anything but being surrounded by sweaty people and dancing to music over which you have to shout to make yourself heard. Also being surrounded by drunkards. God I hate nightclubs.
 
I'm going to weigh in from the other end of the scale. I'm 6'8 and like I will never understand why being shorter sucks, others will never get how being so overly tall can be a pain.

Granted, I'm rather overweight so that only adds to my problems but there are plenty of ways my height alone affects not just my life but my confidence too. Cars are a pretty big problem, I'm rather limited on what I can buy, or even fit in to. I have to ask the salesman if I can try and fit in the **** thing before I can take it for a test drive and after 3 or 4 cars of not being able to get your legs under the steering wheel or your head not fitting under the door frame you just want to go and hide under a rock or something. A friend picked me up one night and I managed to squeeze into the passanger side of his tiny car, but my head was bent sideways. We had to open the sunroof and drive around with the top half of my head sticking up from inside the car.

Then we come to other males. Due to my size it's assumed I'm some knuckle dragging hardman. Short guys get bullied, I get attacked, set apon by groups of guys, usually trying to prove themselves infront of whatever chav girl they want to take home that night. It's not macho to beat up a 5'8 dude, but a 6'8 man bear thing? That's a scalp to claim.

As for women, it could be my weight, my height, my defensive demeanor, either way I don't tend to do anything for them. I can say I have seen nothing of the hordes of women that like tall men that I hear so much about.

There are loads of other little things too. When I go and see a band I always feel concious of people stood behind me and if I may be blocking their view, the same at the cinema.

I will concede that if I lost the weight, developed some confidence etc, that I would have a natural presence/intimidation factor that shorter guys don't naturally have but that doesn't mean it's all roses. I think about 6' is the perfect height in societies eyes and if you're too far over or under you become somewhat ostracised.
 
It's such a silly issue. I don't know why they take height into consideration so much. I even had a girlfriend once who blatantly said to my face that taller men are better. It seems that most women just want their Disney fantasy to come to life. i.e their tall, dark handsome man (Great description btw op..couldn't have put it better myself). Wake up and smell the roses. We can have just as much confidence & fire as a tall man.

I'm 5-4. I have little chance of attracting a woman. Most of them think I'm a 14-15 year old.
 
2fresh4youx said:
It's such a silly issue. I don't know why they take height into consideration so much. I even had a girlfriend once who blatantly said to my face that taller men are better. It seems that most women just want their Disney fantasy to come to life. i.e their tall, dark handsome man (Great description btw op..couldn't have put it better myself). Wake up and smell the roses. We can have just as much confidence & fire as a tall man.

I'm 5-4. I have little chance of attracting a woman. Most of them think I'm a 14-15 year old.

Its just that larger has a casual correlation with stronger, and many women are more comfortable with the idea that their partners can be protective in that capacity. Its somewhat instinctual, I understand, and certainly does not need to apply to all. My rule of thumb is to assume that so as long as I have two inches on any girl, I have a reasonable chance of being attractive to her, and not so much so(or requires much more effort) when lacking that. This might a self-fulfilling prophesy, but I've always assumed that I will not be attractive to any girl who's taller than me even by an inch or two, and so far, been relatively true.
 
God, where not living in the middle ages anymore. The idea of "Protection" is just absurd if you ask me. I mean, sure, there are many people in society who rob people, mug them. But over a lifetime, how often does it happen to people? I'm not a fan of physical violence anyway, so being tall wouldn't make me want to punch and assault people.
 
2fresh4youx said:
God, where not living in the middle ages anymore. The idea of "Protection" is just absurd if you ask me. I mean, sure, there are many people in society who rob people, mug them. But over a lifetime, how often does it happen to people? I'm not a fan of physical violence anyway, so being tall wouldn't make me want to punch and assault people.

The answer comes in two parts.

The first - you'll be surprised, actually. People tend not to report violence that have happened to them, but many people, especially women, are indeed targets of assault and worse. Over a lifetime, I would say that at least half and possibly more will have experienced some form of violent crime. The truth lies closer to the realization that we probably will all have to deal with some form of violence over the course of our lifetime, and it behooves us to be prepared for such.

The second part is just because there may not be a need, as a good female friend explained, doesn't mean that it doesn't feel nice. Telling someone that they're wrong for appreciating a quality that makes them feel good makes as much sense as telling someone that they're wrong for liking the color red.

Of course, it has nothing to do with being tall making you want to assault someone. But all other things equal, someone taller is likely to be stronger and more dangerous than you, so if say, you were attacked, the odds could be on his side for a variety of reasons. Training and equipment can change that, of course, as can attitude. I do like to think at the end of the day, "not being a fan of physical violence" doesn't mean that you'll let your girl be attacked and do nothing about it.
 
I am short.. almost 5 feet. But, I never really care about it. The only problem I find, it makes me the easy target for people of ill intent.. because I am small, I look easy to take advantage of, and also more because I look much younger than my age.

But other than that, I think it is suiting me. Tall would not fit my personality.

But, I never care to find people attracted to me, so I feel bad for people with this problem. Short males, it seems not women or men prefer it. But.. of course it is not the only thing that matters. As for me, I am in a relationship but it is not the conventional sort of situation in any way, and my height I think nothing to do with it at all.

Anyway, I hope other short people can learn to not care about it.. of course, can do nothing a bout it, so simply accept it is best I think.
 
fox said:
I am short.. almost 5 feet. But, I never really care about it. The only problem I find, it makes me the easy target for people of ill intent.. because I am small, I look easy to take advantage of, and also more because I look much younger than my age.

I've emphasized in my post that training and equipment both change that; and while this thread isn't expressly about it, I think its important in terms of responding to violence and understanding violence.

The first and most important part of any fight is realizing that it is as much about emotional dominance as it is about physical dominance. This is why attackers have such an advantage; because they've already committed to it and have prepared.

Don't give them that quarter. I've successfully defended myself against violence more than once, and it is important to realize first, and foremost to not surrender; furthermore, it is important to prepare for it. Being smaller, for example, does not make a knife any less sharp; tools are great equalizers in this world, and a person who is both mentally and physically willing to defend himself does this world a great justice - both by being less of a victim himself/herself, and by discouraging the evil from being so willfully predatory.

fox said:
Anyway, I hope other short people can learn to not care about it.. of course, can do nothing a bout it, so simply accept it is best I think.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leg_lengthening#Cosmetic_lengthening_of_limbs

There is something that can be done about it, fortunately, these days, however I don't believe that it is usually worth it. The financial and physical costs are certainly extremely high for both.
 
As a 5-4 male, I have been ignored a majority of my life because of my height. Yes, because of my height! Males and females. Dumb, tall males get more attention than I do. In a job interview, if two competitors were equally matched in personality & skill, the tall one would most likely get the job. It's human nature to do something like that.

And just because I'm short, don't go assuming that I can only date short women. To think that I'm disqualified from dating certain pools of women (aka ones the same height or taller) just saddens me & makes me feel for the attitude of the human race.
 
I am 6''1'.

I believe that people that are outside of the 'norm' of at a bit of a disadvantage in some parts of life. Tall and short, finding cars, cloths, gear, safety, happiness, in this world that puts a premium on 6" tall blokes can be tough.

That said, there are time where short or tall people are pretty darned useful.

In my business as a welder, we have a guy that is about 4'8". Yes, thats pretty darned short. He's 24 years old. Thing is, he's able to get into places that NOONE else is able to. Pressure Vessels and pipes, etc. The teacher at the college recommended him to a specialty company that routinely pays literally 3-5 TIMES as much as I make. All because of his 'curse' of shortness.

Same story with a tall guy from my class. He's about 6'5". We called him Sasquatch. He's being recommended for a specialty shop that works on some unusual structural vessel. Because with his height, he's able to reach places other cant, and lift more then the average bloke. Again, because he's 'cursed' with height. He makes about double what I make, and I'm the 'ideal 6' guy' here.

I'm not saying that being different from the norm is easy, but it's not permanently bad. There are situations where is IS useful, and even very profitable. BTW, short guys. Become welders. That little guy is earning over 200k a year, AFTER TAXES. Jesus. I saw his mansion. The door is twice as high as he is! Also, his wife is pretty much a bombshell. I thought she was a friend of his or something when I first met her. Seems he was able to travel and meet her on the job. She's about 5" taller then him (about a heads worth). She's definitely completely devoted to him. Lucky short bugger :p.

There is hope!
 
Being short does have negative connotations in today's society, but I can honestly tell you that it isn't everything. Girls also go for guy's with confidence and every short guys can have alot of confidence. I'm only 5'7" and I have just as much confidence as my friend whose 6'1". I have friends shorter than I am who have just as much confidence as well.

The thing is, we can't change our height. At the end of the day standing in your socks you're always going to be the same. But we can change the way we think about think about. Be happy for all the other things in your life that go well. Because if you were taller, you wouldn't be you.

When being short doesn't matter to you, it won't matter to other people. You may never date 6'0" supermodels girls but you can still date pretty girls and have friends. Just walk with your head up and look forward as you go about your day. Good luck.
 
Yeah, I did for a few years. From grades 7-9 I got picked on a lot for my below-average height. It slacked off in high school & by grade 12 most of the jokes were stale & it pretty much stopped. Eventually, I got over it & it doesn't really bother me anymore.
 
I'm 20 years old and 5'11, and I'm still hoping that somehow I might grow an inch or two. If I was noticeably tall at least I would stick out somehow and girls might be interested in me. I honestly think I stunted my growth too, because I drank a lot of coke and caffeine when I was a kid. My mom is 5'6 and has really tall siblings, and my dad used to be 5'11 (Shrunk a but with age I guess lol). How am I not at least 6'? Even my sister is practically 5'9.
 

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