Earn the title.

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

7.62 Smile

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
I have always had issues with my self-esteem. It drove me to join the military, and get a well respected job. But, it just never seems to be enough. I work so hard to become something, and I work to make it more than just skin deep. No matter how many layers that one could peel away they realize that it is genuinely me. I do not act kind towards others, I am kind... I do not feign sympathy, compassion, or understanding.

I hoped that this would be a respected. I don't feel as if I am worth much yet. Maybe it is because of my past relationships that ended up with them leaving me for someone I thought was substandard, or better yet, being friend zoned for someone I thought substandard. It is as if they can see me, fit, kind, responsible, and in my crisp dress blues, but they can't resist that sexy lil crack addict in the corner with vomit on his shirt.

We could also go to may past and my relationship with my mother and father, but honestly, no one needs that on their mind today.

I measure my worth by how others view me, and this is the fallacy for which I have fallen. I want to know, what is so wrong with me that I am such an unwanted and overlooked person?
 
No. I can say pretty positively that I do not. I wouldn't even know how or where to start. I forgive other's for their glaringly obvious faults so naturally, but all I see in myself is a drunk slob.
 
No offense, but loving once self is a bit harder than saying it. I look at myself and I see an unwanted weak marine, easily replaced, easily forgotten. Even among my battalion I have a lack luster reputation, they see a socially awkward clumsy spaz. It is hard to act any different when people hold these predispositions, and in turn they become reality.

As far as relationships go, I seem to be used as a ego boost for women going through tough times. Most of my relationships have ended in them cheating on me and leaving me.

It is really hard to have a positive view of yourself when the world cascades you with evidence that you are nothing.
 
You are wanted, needed, and required by someone. You just haven't found that person yet.

And no offense, 7.62, but from a civilian point of view, people that are marines are seen as tough, strong, reliable and awesome. Even if you feel you could use improvement as a marine, it's likely that the average civilian person is going to see you in uniform and say "Wow, that guy is a marine? That is pretty freaking bad ass!".

I believe that you are being used as an ego boost by women because they sense that you don't value yourself highly. You are pretty much awesome, you deserve a good woman, and you'd do well to remember that. Don't let these foolish women that treat you poorly colour your view of dating and relationships.

Focus on self-improvement, and enjoying your life. It is very common for a fruitful relationship to blossom from the most unsuspected of places...
 
I try and work on myself, go to the gym from time to time. It used to be everyday, but between a surgery I had on my back and my work schedule being kinda crazy I can barely eat let alone work out and have a social life. If I can push myself I would love to go back to the gym again more often.

Bettering yourself just doesn't seem so important when people don't care. The only thing they care about now is that I can fulfill my duties to my battalion. No matter what I am going through, that cannot effect my mission readiness, my marines rely on me and I cannot let something as petty as one life to make me slack.
 
I identify very much with this. A psychologist indicated that he felt that it had something to do with antisocial personality disorder, which I find a bit skeptical, but that's what you will. I can only really measure myself in terms of my utility to the group, and in that, I can be proud, glad or feel wonderful about it, but I otherwise feel uncertain about myself. Perhaps its not so bad, that in the end, we understand ourselves as part and parcel of something greater than ourselves?
 

Latest posts

Back
Top