Talking to most women boring/annoying

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Ribstaylor

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Hey everyone im 21 and new to the forum and thought I'd make my first thread on the topic of getting annoyed or bored during conversations with women.

I've recently come to the conclusion that all the women I've met and know over the last 4 years annoy the hell out of me if I'm talking to them for any lengthy period of time. If what they have to say doesn't annoy me well it sure bores me to the point of not wanting to be around them.

I haven't all ways been this way i frequented many social circles from low to high status (popularity) in high-school and in my life since but only the groups of girls that weren't dolled up or ditsy ever could hold an interesting conversation. These girls were often the odd types out if you take what modern culture portrays a young women to be. And to be honest girls I am not physically and sexually attracted to.

Now I'm not the type to judge based on looks, but for me to enter in a relationship there needs to be that physical attraction, but just as important is I find you intellectually interesting and stimulating. And it seems to me that these women are far and in between.

I realize there are women who probably fit both criteria but for 4 years I haven't met a single girl within the social circles I frequent or the bars or parties, that can ever keep me interested in what she has to say for more then a few minutes. I don't care why your mad at your friend or why she made you wear that shirt. I don't care about what that girl said or what gossip you have about others. This idle boring talk that I only ever get from women turns me off and away instantly.

I even find a lot of young women don't seem to have opinions on real world issues and problems. It's like their mind has never strayed form the cookie cutter ideal of what they should think and care about. Now I'm a highly opinionated person on many subjects and I love bouncing ideas of people. I talk a lot when I'm in a good mood and being around women brings that out in me. But as usual i get bored or annoyed quickly.

Now I don't know if this is due to the fact that i often think outside the box and look at everything with a certain skepticism, which these women do not. Or the women I'm meeting just aren't interesting people to talk to in general. It's become a serious problem in my life since i haven't been able to enter into a relationship with anyone due to the fact non of these women interest me.

Well enough of me ranting I'll end the wall of text with a question for all the young guys on this forum. Do you find most young women boring and annoying to talk to? If so why?
 
Interesting question. I cannot answer since I am a female. But I want to know how old these girls you are talking about are? I'm 25 and honestly if you spoke to me today... I would have nothing interesting to say. When I was younger I paid attention to the news, spoke to strangers about religion.. I had views... But today it's just more interesting to me to gossip or talk about where I bought clothes.

People go through phases I think. But I still get what you are saying, so I guess you have to ask every potential girlfriend you meet ... What do you think about the economy today? or politics? or religion? And see who is interesting. Eventually you will find someone who is both attractive and interesting.

Also what topics do you wish girls were more interested in? or could talk to you about?
 
Where are you meeting these women? Bars and parties aren't really the best places to meet interesting women.

Are you in university?

When I was your age I never knew many women like what you described, I only knew women in university who enjoyed discussing topics related to their academic courses. However, like Jales said, people go through phases. I know I was a lot more interesting at 21 than I am now.

I think there are still quite a lot of young women who are multifaceted - ones who enjoy both the profound and the trivial, enjoy getting dolled up and yet still enjoy discussing topics of a more substantial nature. And some women are simply not comfortable with talking about anything of any significance with someone they do not know well, so they may come off as uninformed. In my experience, a large part of it is meeting people in the appropriate environment.
 
THERE was a frog that lived in a shallow well.

" Look how well off I am here ! " he told a big turtle from the Eastern Ocean. " I can hop along the coping of the well when I go out, and rest by a crevice in the bricks on my return. I can wallow to my heart's content with only my head above water, or stroll ankle deep through soft mud. No crabs or tadpoles can compare with me. I am master of the water and lord of this shallow well, What more can a fellow ask ? Why don't you come here more often to have a good time ? "

Before the turtle from the Eastern Ocean could get his left foot into the well, however, he caught his right claw on something. So he halted and stepped back then began to describe the ocean to the frog.

" It's more than a thousand miles across and more than ten thousand feet deep. In ancient times there were floods nine years out of ten yet the water in the ocean never increased.

And later there were droughts seven years out of eight yet the water in the ocean never grew less. It has remained quite constant throughtout the ages. That is why I like to live in the Eastern Ocean. "

Then the frog in the shallow well was silent and felt a little abashed.
 
As I got older and wiser....
I learned that Im better off if it wasnt all about me.

I also had to put in thousands of hours attending thousands of recovery meetings
developing listening skills. To actaully listen to other people and grasp what they
were trying to express without my preconcieved notions.

I remember throughout the years sitting still staring at my fucken shoes as
I built my tolerance of others in those meetings without walking out the door.
Love, patience and tolerance was something that didnt simply land on my lap.
I had to work on it.....

Today, I'm with the love of my life. My Hs sweetheart.
Renae still complains from time to time that I dont listen to her, understands her
or hear her when she opens up herself to me...HER FEELINGS.
Sometimes we get into conversations which I find trivial...(to me). Other times
we talk about subject matters that we dont see eye to eye or unresolved issues.

Our Love, our relationship....US.
It's not all about me,me,me...it never was.

Ive also listened to many relationship seminars.
One of the pionts Ive learned....
Men speaks about 20k words per day.
Women speaks around 50K.

As a male, after 20k....Im fucken done.
Generally after 10mins of talking...Im done. My eyes will glaze over.
I wanted whatever to fresia issues or problems resolved NOW!!!!!
Renae still has 30k worth of words of expressing her thoughts and feelings to go.
 
Ribstaylor said:
...
...

Well enough of me ranting I'll end the wall of text with a question for all the young guys on this forum. Do you find most young women boring and annoying to talk to? If so why?

Not a young guy, but I hope that will not exclude me from posting here.

Short answer: Yes, sometimes they are deadly dull.

But not all of them are like this. Many women are very bright and well-educated and interesting to talk to regarding a variety of topics.

I had one gal that I maintained a correspondence with for about 8 months. I thought it was wonderful!

Some men bond by doing things together. They don't bond by talking.

Many women bond by talking, and not so much by doing things together.

I suspect you just haven't met the right person yet.

Maybe you are walking in the wrong circles...looking for "non-boring" women in the wrong places.

I don't know what the answer is.
 
Date older women with more life experiences!

And for all you know, some girls might find you "boring" as well.

I believe that everyone's personality is so complex...that there's so many sides to it. It also depends on what you have in common.
I found that some guys brought out the more fun side of me and other guys...brought out a duller version of me.
People feed off on another.

What is exciting to another is boring to another...just a matter to finding a right match.
 
Not really a young guy either but I never found women boring or annoying to talk to. They were much more interesting to talk to because most would talk about anything, and listen. Guys would only want to talk about something if they were interested in it too, if not they didn't care.
 
Sci-Fi said:
Not really a young guy either but I never found women boring or annoying to talk to. They were much more interesting to talk to because most would talk about anything, and listen. Guys would only want to talk about something if they were interested in it too, if not they didn't care.

I agree with your observations. Especially about them listening better.

To be perfectly honest...I prefer to talk to women online rather than men for this reason.

There is an expression about "A woman's touch" - this often refers to making a home less spartan and more inviting. But I believe "a woman's touch" also extends to making a man's life better by providing a nurturing, listening ear.
 
For me...it's more about me own attitude or moods....no matter where I go there i am.

If Im in a negative frame of mind or mood....whatever are being said is annoying or borning
to me. I will see things in a negative light.
It where Im coming from.

Yesterday Renae and I got into a disagreement sbout subject matters that still
strike nerves for the both of us. At the sametime Renae was telling me I wasnt listening
to her or whAT she has to say is important.

What was some of the things that was bothering her???
I was dating younger women half of her age when we were separated.

We both wish not to fight...And I can easily point out the things
Renae did when we were separated that I dont agree with or approve of...

Whats done is done...Nither she nor I can change the past.

She emotionally shut down and distance herself from me.
I shut down but the old negative honeysuckle started creeping into my mind.

I awoken with a negative frame of mind today.
I thought we were going to have another one of those messed up silent treatment days.

I had to take a time out. Chill the fresia out. Change my attitude.
Pivot my focus from negative to positive....
I came back into the house after taking our pets for a morning walk....

Renae made me a cup of coffee already. She usually dosnt do that.
A cup of coffee....That's trivail.
The thing of it is...Renae loves me. She was thinking of me.
If i was still in a negative frame of mind....It would had went right over my head. If i was still into my own Bullshit...I would never see it.
A simple cup of coffee....That's a lot.
It's more about her FEELINGS.....
 
jales said:
Interesting question. I cannot answer since I am a female. But I want to know how old these girls you are talking about are? I'm 25 and honestly if you spoke to me today... I would have nothing interesting to say. When I was younger I paid attention to the news, spoke to strangers about religion.. I had views... But today it's just more interesting to me to gossip or talk about where I bought clothes.

People go through phases I think. But I still get what you are saying, so I guess you have to ask every potential girlfriend you meet ... What do you think about the economy today? or politics? or religion? And see who is interesting. Eventually you will find someone who is both attractive and interesting.

Also what topics do you wish girls were more interested in? or could talk to you about?

The girls range from 19 to about 27 and the majority are university students. Now i realize topics such as religion and even politics wouldn't normally be something you talk about when first meeting a person. You have to work your way up to larger more serious conversations. But even as I get to know these women over time they still keep with the same old idle banter that comes of as childish.

Topics i enjoy talking about world issues, politics, religion. Basically anything that doesn't have to do with sports, television, or movies and requires a little intelligence to talk about. And I could really care less about talking about your clothes. You don't see me talking about my new shoes and jeans so why are you?

I don't understand how a university student can be so boring. I'm not in school myself i work for a family run company, and I still seem to know more then these "educated" women do on a large amount of topics. Including their own fields of study on many occasions.

I guess I'm not your average stereotypical male who thinks about nothing but sports food and girls. I have many friends who are this way and maybe that's why I'm meeting these shallow minded women.

Don't get me wrong though I can hold a conversation with these women I'm not anti social or awkward by any means. They just don't interest me, and I'm not one to pursue a girl for a one night stand so this inability to find interesting women has gotten me into a funk.

Since there's a lot of women in this thread I'll ask What kind of topics would you ladies normally want to talk about with men your interested in?
 
I love opinionated people too (women AND men) and I think a lot of other people do. Being passionate about something. Be defined. Stand for some ideas, YOUR ideas. Have a strong identity, if you will.
 
A couple of things stick out -
You say that many of your male friends are into "shallow" things - what do you talk about with them?

Also, being able to connect intellectually with a woman is a fantastic thing...but that doesn't necessarily translate into a great foundation for a relationship. You say that you are attracted to women based on looks, but find them dull - and knew interesting girls that you were not attracted to - maybe you should try to date the good-looking ones and be friends with the interesting ones. Better yet, look for the women with whom you have good chemistry, and then neither looks nor intellect matter so much - I have listened to countless hours about shoes and handbags and she listened to more about football than any woman ever should.
 
I can find some younger women a little annoying to talk to. This is because where I come from, the Girls that seem to have any interest in me just LOVE to talk about themselves. Now I am a good listener. But they sure as hell can test my patience. Luckily (In some ways at least) I don't see them very much at all. Other Girls can be annoying because like most young people here, life as a teen, until mid twenties, seems to be all about reputation, relationships and showing people how great your life is, even when it's just the same as everyone else's a lot of the time. That's mainly why I left Facebook. To a lot of people, it's all about showing their friends (and the 500 people they don't actually know) how cool they are and how much fun they have.
 
Yeah, not really sure where you're finding these girls. I find the females in my life far, far more interesting to talk to than the males, and the most interesting males to talk to are the ones who have a lot of female friends. Alarmingly, most girls do not spend all of their time talking about shoes. It's probably that you guys just don't click so they're not wasting their more interesting conversation topics with you and defaulting to the easy ones. I know I always save the good stuff for the people I care about the most (/want to impress the most).
 
futurecatlady said:
Yeah, not really sure where you're finding these girls. I find the females in my life far, far more interesting to talk to than the males, and the most interesting males to talk to are the ones who have a lot of female friends. Alarmingly, most girls do not spend all of their time talking about shoes. It's probably that you guys just don't click so they're not wasting their more interesting conversation topics with you and defaulting to the easy ones. I know I always save the good stuff for the people I care about the most (/want to impress the most).

fewer women know the muzzle velocity of a m16 rifle :(
 
Ribstaylor said:
Topics i enjoy talking about world issues, politics, religion. Basically anything that doesn't have to do with sports, television, or movies and requires a little intelligence to talk about. And I could really care less about talking about your clothes. You don't see me talking about my new shoes and jeans so why are you?

Earlier, you said, "I even find a lot of young women don't seem to have opinions on real world issues and problems."

It sounds as though your favorite topics for discussion are: world issues, politics, and religion. If these are your interests, that's fine... but you shouldn't dismiss people who aren't interested in these topics as unintelligent. Some intelligent people very deliberately avoid religious or political conversation. Some people just enjoy having casual conversations, rather than intellectual discussions. If your interests are specifically in those areas, you must look in places that draw people with similar interests.
 
i see what you are saying completely. i was once like you. dont settle. you will fin a girl who can talk sensibly about the things you are interested in just keep looking :p
 
This is interesting because I've always been hopeless at talking to guys, mainly due to a lack of small talk. Most guys don't want to talk about deep and meaningful world issues, I find! There are plenty of guys out there who get bored with any conversation that's not about sport, cars or sex, trust me. Maybe it's just a matter of finding that person you click with. There are attractive, social people out there who aren't airheads, but you might have to cut through a fair few others to find them. In the meantime, sometimes you have to play the small talk game even if it's a bit boring.
 

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