what is your solution/idea for your loneliness?

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kirankai

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“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”- Albert Einstein


"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." - Thomas Edison

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison

"Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up" - Thomas Edison

Yes we have seen different people have different problems approaching the society. In the end we all are lonely. Do you have any ideas how to run away from it?

Problems always exist so the point is how many of us have solutions / Ideas to stay away from loneliness?

Life is too short, let's see what people might come up with...

We have seen lonely people spending time for the following things:

-having pets
-trying to join clubs, or some societies (some do not like to)
-Getting obsessed with your personal passion (mine is Physics and math, works for me but not too long)
- long term goals (works for me)
-watching TV shows anime movies etc whole day (won't work long enough)
-Playing video games? (it won't work for me)
-chatting online (hard to trust little bit might work, scary facebook hard for me!)
-Having relatives (Might work but not long enough, cos we need some one close to understand us)
-old friends ? (I am contacting old classmates just a talk, no friends, never had one)
- forums (good to see some people got some friends here, I guess?)
- spend some time thinking a lot ?
-trying to talk with new people(I have social Anxiety problems while talking to people do you?)

-Taking Motivation (only way to overcome for the time being)

I do not have much of a solution have you got one?
only thing I can do is spending time for goals to achieve in my life, I am getting slow in it due to loneliness.

Kindly please share with all of us, if you have found any solutions for loneliness!

Scientifically speaking, we have to make our brains think that we are really involving ourselves in society and with people.

dopamine/endorphins/adrenaline should excite your neurotransmitters while you are communicating with this person... so what can you think of to make this happen?

Our life is too short, we can't stay like this forever we have to do something for our chemical and biological reactions inside our bodies. if nothing is done we might have scerious health problems in the future. I am already going through from one of it.
 
I play an MMO but I'm not very sociable on it. I got invited to a league and developed a sort of friendship with them. Sadly not many are on and I don't get into other groups. Makes me nervous because some of the MMO players can take the game way to seriously. I find forums a good outlet but when there isn't much discussion going on that you can join into those can fall flat too. That's all I do.
 
Change your thinking change your life.
Let go of old ideas and unworkable beliefs.

I have hobbies...i have other interest...ect
I understand about having a balance life. There's more to life than a relationship or being socialable.
But to avoid a problem with other destractions is a temporary fix or living in denial that there's a missing
component in my life. A hudge difference.....between having 0% love/relationship and 100% love and
relationship in my life, that's all I do is stAY in bed and fresia all day.

Im certainly not so self righteous to sit on the sideline, play it safe, piont out othere's mistake
then ***** and moan about how shitty my life is. Self pity gets me no where.
The biggest mistake I'll make is not to take a risk....

Im either going to get off of my ass and do something about my life or Im not.
PArticipating in my life....It's kind of like playing american football.
It can get pretty messy, bloody. Things dont always go as planned.
Sometimes I'll even get knocked on my ass. A hail marry isnt the only way to score.
And there's gonna be lots of people booing at me no matter what i do....

Lots and lots of back seat drivers giving advice.....do it this way. do it that way..ect
I went through this honeysuckle in R/C modeling. Sometimes my model air craft will have equipment
failures or structure damnage. There's 10 guys behind the flight line screaming at
me telling all kinds of honeysuckle.....Im the only person in control of the air craft..that's not
functioning properly. Things happen rather quickly. I must make hard decisions
in sec...The best possible decision. I must remain focus on the air craft
and also be awear of various conditions....such as spectators, property, wind directions...ect
I must make evasive manuvers to bring the air craft in for a safe landing without killing
people or cuase property damage. Flying by the seat of my pants.

Onething i know about my model aircrafts...They all have different
charactoristics and capibilties.

Im also known as a natural flyer. I can do plenty of aerobatic manuvers that looks gracful at times. People compliment all
the time on my flying skills....
The thing of it is...I putted in thousands of flight hours practicing
and mastering each manuvers....one at a time.
The thing about performing manvers are...each manaver are built
upon each other....
For example...to perform a knift edge...you must master a slow roll
first. Each basic manvers are broken down even more.
Breaking things down into smaller portions....Kind of like taking baby
steps.

The thing about modeling is...the sky is the limit. Take it in any
direction you want. There's different style and technique.
Some people enjoy building scale models and fly thier models
to scale...Other people enjoy sport flying or doing aerobatic manuvers. Others enjoy just flying slow and easy....

The thing about flying model aircrafts....There's no such thing as a perfect flight conditions or whether.
Every flight day is different. Condition changes from hour to hour. You adjust accordingly.

Principles.....
 
Sci-Fi said:
I play an MMO but I'm not very sociable on it. I got invited to a league and developed a sort of friendship with them. Sadly not many are on and I don't get into other groups. Makes me nervous because some of the MMO players can take the game way to seriously. I find forums a good outlet but when there isn't much discussion going on that you can join into those can fall flat too. That's all I do.

The greatest solution for lonely people is meeting other lonely people, yeah! as you said playing with people really does help but when the game ends that's it. our lonely feeling is back on us again...

yeah I do not understand how on earth people form a group??
they are on their own but we are left outs. not sure what to do...


Lonesome Crow said:
Change your thinking change your life.
Let go of old ideas and unworkable beliefs.

I have hobbies...i have other interest...ect
I understand about having a balance life. There's more to life than a relationship or being socialable.
But to avoid a problem with other destractions is a temporary fix or living in denial that there's a missing
component in my life. A hudge difference.....between having 0% love/relationship and 100% love and
relationship in my life, that's all I do is stAY in bed and fresia all day.

Im certainly not so self righteous to sit on the sideline, play it safe, piont out othere's mistake
then ***** and moan about how shitty my life is. Self pity gets me no where.
The biggest mistake I'll make is not to take a risk....

Im either going to get off of my ass and do something about my life or Im not.
PArticipating in my life....It's kind of like playing american football.
It can get pretty messy, bloody. Things dont always go as planned.

I must make evasive manuvers to bring the air craft in for a safe landing without killing
people or cuase property damage. Flying by the seat of my pants.

Onething i know about my model aircrafts...They all have different
charactoristics and capibilties.

Im also known as a natural flyer. I can do plenty of aerobatic manuvers ...........

The thing about modeling is...the sky is the limit. Take it in any
direction you want. There's different style and technique.
Some people enjoy building scale models and fly thier models
to scale...Other people enjoy sport flying or doing aerobatic manuvers. Others enjoy just flying slow and easy....

Principles.....
You seem so angry about yourself, Have you given up or what?
well for me you seem as if you really got annoyed by the things happening around you. Yeah people tell me you have to live this way that way blah blah blah blah...
I never cared what they say I did what I liked to do, that is in my own way like you preferred to do it in your own style..

When you have given the example of air craft's aerobatic manuvers, when you do it, are you trying to say that people do not believe in you?
they do not believe that you can do manuvrs on your own when it is risky ?

I think you seem confident in performing manuvers of your .. that's cool!


Feeling sorry about my self? well about this.. you are right to think in this way, that is it feels worse to even feel sorry for not have any relationship or social communication ...
 
A solution I have for loneliness is to try and change your mindset. If you can do that then whatever you do, you will be happy. For example, I am not bothered about the fact that I haven't done much this week. I'm still here. I'm still fine. So all is well :D
 
Sci-Fi said:
I play an MMO but I'm not very sociable on it. I got invited to a league and developed a sort of friendship with them. Sadly not many are on and I don't get into other groups. Makes me nervous because some of the MMO players can take the game way to seriously. I find forums a good outlet but when there isn't much discussion going on that you can join into those can fall flat too. That's all I do.

I had a similar problem when I tried MMOs. I couldn't find steady companions with the maybe 1-2 hours a day I was willing to commit to playing who were also new to the game.
 
Im not angery or lonely. Im not even single. Im with my fiance....
We're trying again and again. We havnt given up on our relationship or ourselve.
Whatever advice or opinions from other people....I had to make my decisions.
Take whatever necessary measures I had to take to be with her again....

The risk......
Ive driven across the country over and over again to be with her not
playing vedio games to cope or aviod the issue.

Im not just talking about asking a chick out at a gorcery store or a bar.
Yet, Ive done that too. I dated while we were separated.

I do things differently, resolve our problems differently becuase I changed my
mindset or beliefs. I stay positive and feel positive about me. About us.

Apply those simple principles even if it's not always easy sometimes.
 
I have usually found that if you are lonely there is something wrong with you and so nobody want to be with you even if you do try and make friends. Therefore you have to change your personality on your own which is much harder.
 
indigo99 said:
I have usually found that if you are lonely there is something wrong with you and so nobody want to be with you even if you do try and make friends. Therefore you have to change your personality on your own which is much harder.
Say what if we lonely people think that we are right in a way we live, if others do not like what we like about ourselves then what can we do?

changing personality is loosing sanity, I know the way I am is right , I followed philosophy and morels for current generation.

so what way can I change when I am correct? for others they all agree it is correct however they do not like to be like this for themselves so tell me what is there to change in it. it's true nothing remains same so what gives when we are right about ourselves we know that right change but still we are what we are...if we think that we are correct thats it..


Lonesome Crow said:
Im not angery or lonely. Im not even single. Im with my fiance....
We're trying again and again. We havnt given up on our relationship or ourselve.
Whatever advice or opinions from other people....I had to make my decisions.
Take whatever necessary measures I had to take to be with her again....

The risk......
Ive driven across the country over and over again to be with her not
playing vedio games to cope or aviod the issue.

Im not just talking about asking a chick out at a gorcery store or a bar.
Yet, Ive done that too. I dated while we were separated.

I do things differently, resolve our problems differently becuase I changed my
mindset or beliefs. I stay positive and feel positive about me. About us.

Apply those simple principles even if it's not always easy sometimes.
well tell me something, say that you are living with your fiance, back to your relationships with full of love and affections ...

would it be enough for you if you could have only one relationship and not having friends or relatives ?

I mean would it be enough if you have only one person for you?

Tell me if something is right about ourselves then what is required to change ? if my mind set is right tell me what way do I need to change?

all people with all different angles agree that I am living in right way except they all do not like me being lonely and they do nothing about it and I try something but it wont work. In the end even society would agree with my life style or not. my heart says I am right and I keep on changing for right things. these rights things will make me feel happy but I am always lonely ever since my birth...

Never had a friend
Never had a relationship
Never got chance to share with right person..

I always trying for looking for right person but never found one...like going away from earth in a space ship excited about my journey but feeling lonely forever cos I do not have any one in my ship cos no one wants to come along with me...

Hey why on earth you have girl's pic, all are thinking that you are a girl ??
what's up with that?
 
hey kirankai,
My solution isn't a quick one, but I can tell you it works for me. You have to be an epicenter. When an earthquake strikes the vibrations are greatest in the center. Life is the exact same way. You have to be in the middle of it.

Be confident that you're a person of value and start talking to new people and try and rekindle old friendships. Invite them out to do stuff together or invite them over to your house.

You have to get out and do stuff. However it's the person who asks if they want to get together that does the most.

I'm not going to lie to you and say everyone's going to want to hang out with you, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Look for like minded people, they'll be the one's that you get along best with and therefore will be most likely to form lasting friendships with.

Hope this helps, Bloom.
 
BloomManifesto said:
hey kirankai,
My solution isn't a quick one, but I can tell you it works for me. You have to be an epicenter. When an earthquake strikes the vibrations are greatest in the center. Life is the exact same way. You have to be in the middle of it.

Be confident that you're a person of value and start talking to new people and try and rekindle old friendships. Invite them out to do stuff together or invite them over to your house.

You have to get out and do stuff. However it's the person who asks if they want to get together that does the most.

I'm not going to lie to you and say everyone's going to want to hang out with you, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Look for like minded people, they'll be the one's that you get along best with and therefore will be most likely to form lasting friendships with.

Hope this helps, Bloom.
I have been always positive about this, however, what if no one shows interest to hang along with?

whenever I call them and tell them that I am bored let's go out side. they say that they have something else to do as if they want to avoid me ... I talk walk alone I go alone..

Nothing much...when people do not like me what can I do? if no one likes me what can I do, only love I have is my passion for nature and science.
 
for me it turned out to be that i liked to be alone, it just took me awhile to fully realize it. but at the same time i very much want companionship. i knew that my loner nature goes against what is required to find that someone so i knew i had a long wait ahead of me. it feels like that wait might finally be over, only time will tell. i live with 2 people but i generally spend the majority of my time in my room alone. my best friend doesnt live here anymore but he will be back permanently soon so that will help some. i got a cat and it has been great. movies and video games have become the thing that keeps my mind occupied if it ever bothers me. i vicariously live my life through these things because i have no idea what else to do with myself, find this life kind of boring, and i have never felt like i belonged. not sure that that will ever change so i just accept it for now because there is nothing else to do.
 
a solution I found was to understand why I felt so **** lonely and different all the time, and accept that I will never have what I should have had when I was little and stop feeling abandoned, and I guess concentrate on giving as long as I am here.
For some others being alone works, for me it's hell because I am very social and feel alive mostly when around others, so I make an effort to improve my social skills and to go out and see people even if I don't feel much like it. And I try (only try) to be more accepting of others, and if we become friends I try and take what I can give and don't dwell too much about what they are not giving.
And, yes, concentrate on trying not to give a f..k about people's opinions of my humble person, that's the hardest part, but when it works I feel so incredibly free, and almost powerful.


kirankai said:
The greatest solution for lonely people is meeting other lonely people, yeah! as you said playing with people really does help but when the game ends that's it. our lonely feeling is back on us again...

yeah I do not understand how on earth people form a group??
they are on their own but we are left outs. not sure what to do...


meetup.com, people! the solution to many problems :p just kidding, but honestly, I think it can help
 
I always thought that I needed to have friends to feel less lonely, and it saddened me because I knew I would never fit into any group of people - simply because I'm not social at all and my past experiences taught me that I didn't ever belong. So I allowed myself to feel lonely because of that, for a long time. I guess that passing the time productively by keeping very busy kept me from feeling that loneliness.
 
Peaches said:
a solution I found was to understand why I felt so **** lonely and different all the time, and accept that I will never have what I should have had when I was little and stop feeling abandoned, and I guess concentrate on giving as long as I am here.
For some others being alone works, for me it's hell because I am very social and feel alive mostly when around others, so I make an effort to improve my social skills and to go out and see people even if I don't feel much like it. And I try (only try) to be more accepting of others, and if we become friends I try and take what I can give and don't dwell too much about what they are not giving.
And, yes, concentrate on trying not to give a f..k about people's opinions of my humble person, that's the hardest part, but when it works I feel so incredibly free, and almost powerful.




meetup.com, people! the solution to many problems :p just kidding, but honestly, I think it can help


By the way meetup.com feels like soo soon...lol I do not know anyone so how can I meet one? what if one turns out to be bad guys? man that's scary..


Montreal Skye said:
I always thought that I needed to have friends to feel less lonely, and it saddened me because I knew I would never fit into any group of people - simply because I'm not social at all and my past experiences taught me that I didn't ever belong. So I allowed myself to feel lonely because of that, for a long time. I guess that passing the time productively by keeping very busy kept me from feeling that loneliness.
Believe me, I feel much more lonely when I will be with people.

it feels odd and I feel like I do not belong here.. I talk to my self while I am with people not sure way..
 
I have been always positive about this, however, what if no one shows interest to hang along with?

whenever I call them and tell them that I am bored let's go out side. they say that they have something else to do as if they want to avoid me ... I talk walk alone I go alone..

Nothing much...when people do not like me what can I do? if no one likes me what can I do, only love I have is my passion for nature and science.
[/quote]

You're right it can be hard, I've spent alot of time alone too. If you're passionate about nature and science find someone who shares those passions. It can be difficult to make new friendships and to rekindle old ones, I can't disagree there.

I'm glad you're being positive and trying. One thing someone suggested to me once was to volunteer for a cause or join a club. When you meet someone as a volunteer or at a club, it's great because you already have a common interest.

Making friends is a hit and miss experience and it can be miss more often than hit, but one success and four failures is better than not trying at all.
 
kirankai said:
Believe me, I feel much more lonely when I will be with people.

it feels odd and I feel like I do not belong here.. I talk to my self while I am with people not sure way..

I feel lonely around people too. That's why I shy away from trying to make friends to be honest. I always felt like I didn't belong in those social groups. I prefer solitude, walks in the woods and bonding with my little dog. Not that I've completely given up, but so far, friendship hasn't exactly worked out for me.
 
kirankai said:
indigo99 said:
I have usually found that if you are lonely there is something wrong with you and so nobody want to be with you even if you do try and make friends. Therefore you have to change your personality on your own which is much harder.
Say what if we lonely people think that we are right in a way we live, if others do not like what we like about ourselves then what can we do?

changing personality is loosing sanity, I know the way I am is right , I followed philosophy and morels for current generation.

so what way can I change when I am correct? for others they all agree it is correct however they do not like to be like this for themselves so tell me what is there to change in it. it's true nothing remains same so what gives when we are right about ourselves we know that right change but still we are what we are...if we think that we are correct thats it..


Lonesome Crow said:
Im not angery or lonely. Im not even single. Im with my fiance....
We're trying again and again. We havnt given up on our relationship or ourselve.
Whatever advice or opinions from other people....I had to make my decisions.
Take whatever necessary measures I had to take to be with her again....

The risk......
Ive driven across the country over and over again to be with her not
playing vedio games to cope or aviod the issue.

Im not just talking about asking a chick out at a gorcery store or a bar.
Yet, Ive done that too. I dated while we were separated.

I do things differently, resolve our problems differently becuase I changed my
mindset or beliefs. I stay positive and feel positive about me. About us.

Apply those simple principles even if it's not always easy sometimes.
well tell me something, say that you are living with your fiance, back to your relationships with full of love and affections ...

would it be enough for you if you could have only one relationship and not having friends or relatives ?

I mean would it be enough if you have only one person for you?

Tell me if something is right about ourselves then what is required to change ? if my mind set is right tell me what way do I need to change?

all people with all different angles agree that I am living in right way except they all do not like me being lonely and they do nothing about it and I try something but it wont work. In the end even society would agree with my life style or not. my heart says I am right and I keep on changing for right things. these rights things will make me feel happy but I am always lonely ever since my birth...

Never had a friend
Never had a relationship
Never got chance to share with right person..

I always trying for looking for right person but never found one...like going away from earth in a space ship excited about my journey but feeling lonely forever cos I do not have any one in my ship cos no one wants to come along with me...

Hey why on earth you have girl's pic, all are thinking that you are a girl ??
what's up with that?



From my experince through recovery from various addictions....wheather it be alcohol, drugs, work, hobbies, gambling, shopping, eating, the internet, vedio game....ect
Livng in denial and getting delusional. We simply justified our unhealthy behaviors...
Such as being a workaholic....
To our boss you may seem like a very productive employee, a go getter, well to do, ambious.,...ect. The approval you get re-enforces
this unhealthy life style even more.
You'll even like it as sick and unhealthy as it may be.
The more you work...the more you escape to numb out your pains...

Loneliness can simply be another addiction....
You'll justified why you'll wanna live alone, anit social...ect.

Our beliefs are what we think and feel over and over again.
In the process of changing our beliefs...we'll simply go through
a withdraw stage of our old ideas and beliefs.
Our mind always wants to go back to the familar. It function at it's
best in the familar. It mastered it and is almost on auto pilot.
It's comfortiable with it...even if it's unhealthy.

To see things differently or change our beliefs....we must open our minds. Get out of tunnel vision.
Baby steps....
You can look at those pictures with 2 different meanings in them...
such as the arrow in the FedEX logo.
 

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