Who is the "perfect" woman/man?

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Montreal Skye

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I was looking at shopping flyers when I came across this image. Obviously it was altered to make the light-haired girl look alienishy thin. I really don't understand the whole airbrush thing. It just sells the idea of our society's standard of "perfection", but I guess lots of people think that's the ideal. I know that this kind of garbage affects girls' self-esteem, we're bombarded with these images at an earlier and earlier age. Do you guys feel the same pressure to be perfect due to advertising? I'm wondering how this affects everyone's self-esteem, I know that for me, it was bad for many years. I couldn't meet those standards of "perfection" so I didn't even try to be with anyone...there was even a time I considered plastic surgery...when I really don't need it - and truthfully, I don't want to go that route ever. I've been told I look young for my age...but I used to see one wrinkle and I was all over the beauty sites trying to find a solution for it...wasting money on marketed products that really don't work at all.

To be honest, since I stopped watching television, those ideas have not been so prevalent in my thoughts and I've been able to heal a lot of that damaged self-esteem. I do take care of myself but I no longer try to reach those fantasy standards of perfection. It saddens me to hear people talk about the "perfect" or "ideal" beautiful woman or handsome man...is that based purely on looks? I'm rambling a little but I guess this photo really annoyed me.

Airbrush.jpg
 
There's no such thing as perfect...the girls in that picture are not attractive to me - they are just too thin (sorry to any very thin women out there).

I think that when people nitpick about their looks by comparing themselves to the ideals in magazines, they lose sight of the fact that almost no people they know or come into contact with actually look that way (party because the magazines are airbrushed) - think about the men you have known over the years that you were attracted to - do any of them look like Brad Pitt or [whoever you think is a good looking celebrity]? I'm guessing no - so if you don't hold the men you date up to the "ideal" standards, why would you hold yourself up to those standards (or why would you think that guys would hold you up to that standard)?

Another way of saying that is, do you think that guys are undateable (or unloveable) just because they don't look like Brad Pitt? If not, then why would you think a woman is undateable (or unloveable) just because she doesn't look like Angelina Jolie?

By the way, I saw your picture on the other thread, and you are plenty pretty.
 
It's never bothered me. I like nice looking things and I like to look nice myself. But I prefer natural beauty when it comes to people. Natural beauty is generally pretty easy to achieve with me. If you bath regularly, brush your teeth daily and eat properly (not too much/little) you'll properly look good to me lol. I do see the pressure though and how it effects people.
 
If I see a male model I just kinda shrug and immediately assume he's gay.
 
As adults, we are more logical about things and can see what's phony and what's not, I just worry about the young girls out there who don't have that capacity for mature thinking on this subject. And thanks theraab :) I certainly don't compare myself to stick figures, nor any other woman.
 
Well see, that's the thing. There is a "perfect" but it varies from person to person.
 
Limlim that made me laugh out loud... :D


It would bother me when I was a teenager, seeing these perfect faces and hair and I guess bodies. I was always thin so it didn't bother me, it was the faces. Then I realized... later on in life that these people were photoshopped and airbrushed like crazy! And if you seen these people on the street you probably wouldn't recognize them. They look like regular everyday people under all the makeup and editing. They do it to the bodies as well, to make the women look skinnier. And when it comes to perfect looks in a man, well.. I think my version of perfect looking isn't with what society thinks is perfect.
 
theraab said:
If you think there is a perfect man or woman, who would you say it is?

I think it's very subjective to be honest. I don't compare people to others really. It's the feeling I get from someone. When a man is open, honest and communicative, makes me feel loved and cared for, wanted and needed...when he makes me feel very feminine, when I know I can count on him...I'd say that's my definition of a perfect man. Overall these qualities can be found in many people, but I think sometimes they lie dormant or hidden from shyness or fear.

I've heard a lot of folks talk about the perfect so and so, referring to perfection based on looks only, saying things like you have a choice between either a beauty or someone with a good personality or I'll never get a chance with another beautiful woman like that because she's "out of my league"...that bothers me because it's a common attitude and it perpetuates the feeling that one is never going to be good enough. I've even heard some people say they'd "settle" for a less attractive person if there was a possibility of love - that blows my mind. My last bf back in the day told me he wished I looked more like Elle MacPherson, but that I was "pretty enough I guess". It hurt me a lot back then, now though I would just brush it off and probably end things because I knew I'd never be good enough for his idea of perfection. I don't have hangups, well, maybe a few, we all do, when I start hearing people compare real people to airbrushed types, it makes me wonder what they're thinking, and how they came upon this thought process.
 
Montreal Skye said:
theraab said:
If you think there is a perfect man or woman, who would you say it is?

I think it's very subjective to be honest. I don't compare people to others really. It's the feeling I get from someone. When a man is open, honest and communicative, makes me feel loved and cared for, wanted and needed...when he makes me feel very feminine, when I know I can count on him...I'd say that's my definition of a perfect man. Overall these qualities can be found in many people, but I think sometimes they lie dormant or hidden from shyness or fear.

I've heard a lot of folks talk about the perfect so and so, referring to perfection based on looks only, saying things like you have a choice between either a beauty or someone with a good personality or I'll never get a chance with another beautiful woman like that because she's "out of my league"...that bothers me because it's a common attitude and it perpetuates the feeling that one is never going to be good enough. I've even heard some people say they'd "settle" for a less attractive person if there was a possibility of love - that blows my mind. My last bf back in the day told me he wished I looked more like Elle MacPherson, but that I was "pretty enough I guess". It hurt me a lot back then, now though I would just brush it off and probably end things because I knew I'd never be good enough for his idea of perfection. I don't have hangups, well, maybe a few, we all do, when I start hearing people compare real people to airbrushed types, it makes me wonder what they're thinking, and how they came upon this thought process.

That's awful that your boyfriend would say that - and anyone who would say that they would "settle" for a less attractive person, screw them, their opinions don't count.

And I agree that perfection is subjective (I've heard it termed as not looking for someone who is perfect, but looking for someone who is perfect for you).

And you are also right about thinking people are out of your league. A couple days ago I posted a story in another thread about that:

http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-ladies-how-do-you-show-you-are-interested?page=2

I learned my lesson (though, much after the fact).
 

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