not alone  --- but lonely

i always feel lonely. I am currently in london. I would say i have excellent social skills, many friends, enough women in my life, and loving family (a few of them at least). I even have friends that i vent to on a deep level - but i never really feel the connection like i did when i was a young child. Sometimes I am happy: maybe with women and a lot of drugs - but that fades and i am again in my room, alone, thikning of suicide...
People listen and only say that everyone has the same issues but i do not think so. I thought i found the person i want to marry - but even she doesnt seem to understand. i dont want clubs or nice things - just one person who makes it go away. does anyone share similar feelings?

yes, I can relate. My social life is taking a downhill turn right now but even at my most social periods, I always felt disconnected even from my better friends. I always compare friendships to the ones I had as a child... Those friendships felt so much more real and intense somehow?
Speaking for myself, I think part of the reason I feel so alone is that I haven't made myself part of a community that I want to belong to. Maybe that's not the case with you. I go to a school that I hate (almost done!) then I go home and work on my album, then I go to work at a restaurant where employees come and go all the time. I don't feel part of a team like I did when I went to high school, where everyone was in the same boat, living the same lifestyle and thus had loads in common. Now everything feels really disconnected.
I sometimes feel like I want one person to 'makes it all go away' but then I remind myself of the pain you feel when loosing something so precious and dear to you. I'd prefer to have a few close friends, my family, and a significant other.. you know, balance! Spreading out the risk!

Maybe we're expecting too much from life?

elissa

drex said:

i always feel lonely. I am currently in london. I would say i have excellent social skills, many friends, enough women in my life, and loving family (a few of them at least). I even have friends that i vent to on a deep level - but i never really feel the connection like i did when i was a young child. Sometimes I am happy: maybe with women and a lot of drugs - but that fades and i am again in my room, alone, thikning of suicide...
People listen and only say that everyone has the same issues but i do not think so. I thought i found the person i want to marry - but even she doesnt seem to understand. i dont want clubs or nice things - just one person who makes it go away. does anyone share similar feelings?

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I understand what you mean. I feel that holding out for that one person is worth the risk. And as kids things are not as complex as you grow older. Sometimes thinking of that one person helps get you through the day.

drex said:

i dont want clubs or nice things - just one person who makes it go away. does anyone share similar feelings?

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would thank God that i finaly found like minded people. i live in glasgow.
i was always sayin this to myself. ***k everything, i dont want lots of money, dont want big houses, expansive cars or a great night out!

i simply not intersted of all that!! dont think happiness is about having these things,  guys dont get me wronge, i'm not saying money is nothing,  i guess i really dont need to explain! i'm here with like minded people so i'm sure you would understand.
i have been always always misunderstood! just because those who misunderstood me wouldnt imagin how clear is my soul!! wouldnt imagin how i never wished bad to anyone.
*smiles*
anyway there's loads loads of things to say,
hope u all fine and well