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sabishiinaa

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Anyone weird like me and feel shy, even on a forum?--like someone won't like what I write, judge me because of my age, my tastes, my words, my pathetic attempts at profoundness? I substitute the word school with class, teacher with professor, just so I sound a bit older--it's absolutely idiotic. I read almost everything but I don't reply often because I'm shy--I don't know how to say anything right.

Logic tells me no one cares about me enough to even judge: people are too worried about themselves to go out of their way to condemn me, but it always feels like there are eyes watching every move I make, waiting for me to make a slight blunder.

In person, I can almost cover up my shyness, but it simply turns into aloofness, and it's as if people think that I think I'm too good for them, but I'm not worthy of much of anything.

It's ridiculous. Even on the anonymous internet, I can't be myself; I'm so self-conscious. If I were brave I could be myself, but then I wouldn't really know who to be.
 
Well, sometimes I want to make a post, but I can't think of anything worthwhile to say, and thus don't post at all; though I suppose that's different...
 
sabishiinaa said:
Anyone weird like me and feel shy, even on a forum?--like someone won't like what I write, judge me because of my age, my tastes, my words, my pathetic attempts at profoundness? I substitute the word school with class, teacher with professor, just so I sound a bit older--it's absolutely idiotic. I read almost everything but I don't reply often because I'm shy--I don't know how to say anything right.

Logic tells me no one cares about me enough to even judge: people are too worried about themselves to go out of their way to condemn me, but it always feels like there are eyes watching every move I make, waiting for me to make a slight blunder.

In person, I can almost cover up my shyness, but it simply turns into aloofness, and it's as if people think that I think I'm too good for them, but I'm not worthy of much of anything.

It's ridiculous. Even on the anonymous internet, I can't be myself; I'm so self-conscious. If I were brave I could be myself, but then I wouldn't really know who to be.

Yell and scream if you like. Just don't attack anyone.
 
Hey sabishiinaa, I understand what you're saying. Perhaps it could help you in physical life to overcome the shyness by starting to overcome it here. Who knows? But yes, I believe you have more positive things to say than to attack anyone so go ahead and say what you think or want. I know it may be hard at times to say something but I don't know, start small I guess?

I feel like Matt too most times lol. Can't think of anything worthwhile to say so I don't say much. :D
 
Well when I first joined this forum I was more hesitant rather than being shy because there was a quite a bit of flaming going on at the time, and I really didn't want to get caught up in any of it. But as time has gone on I have become quite comfortable when I post anything.
 
Matt said:
Well, sometimes I want to make a post, but I can't think of anything worthwhile to say, and thus don't post at all; though I suppose that's different...

I feel like this too sometimes
 
There are some people who are outspoken in forums, and they get heard the most. I find that if you say something that's a little off some people might get offended and start to dislike you, which is why I shy away from writing sometimes, even though I'm just being honest. I would say don't be afraid to defend your position if someone tries to attack you, cause you deserve to be here as much as everyone else.
 
I know there is no perfect thing I can say to make anyone less concerned with what other's think of them. Just remind yourself that you can't read other peoples minds. Don't alientate yourself by being convinced that what you have to say isn't of value. Don't be concerned with saying something that has to be perfect and totally without flaw. There is no such thing anyways. It's a concept based upon your expectations that is something created, it's not an absolute, it's not universal. Oppinion's are just oppinions and it's ok to have your own oppinion. Most people won't dislike others based upon saying 1 wrong thing or 2 wrong things, even 100 wrong things. Some people are judgemental, but many people are not. The first step I would recommend is to try to not be judgemental yourself. We tend to fear from other's what we ourselves do. If we are judgemental, then we fear being judged. If we reject others, then we fear rejection ourselves. Often people reject others because of the fear of being rejected. It doesn't even mean they dislike you, but rather are just afraid. Being angry at others often comes back as anger at ourselves. It tends to be that we see the world as a mirror of ourselves. What we think about we then see in others. All you can really do is to treat other's as you want to be treated. I think in most cases all it really comes down to is fear of rejection. Only how will you ever even be rejected if you don't take the risk to find out? How will you ever prove your fear wrong? You might find that what you think is just the same as the next guy. It isn't so strange at all. It's a weird world we live in. People screw up, accept it. Maybe what you should all talk about is what you are all afraid will happen if you speak your mind.

I think it's a good step just to admit being scared even of posting on a forum.
 
sabishiinaa said:
Anyone weird like me and feel shy, even on a forum?--like someone won't like what I write, judge me because of my age, my tastes, my words, my pathetic attempts at profoundness? I substitute the word school with class, teacher with professor, just so I sound a bit older--it's absolutely idiotic. I read almost everything but I don't reply often because I'm shy--I don't know how to say anything right.

Logic tells me no one cares about me enough to even judge: people are too worried about themselves to go out of their way to condemn me, but it always feels like there are eyes watching every move I make, waiting for me to make a slight blunder.

In person, I can almost cover up my shyness, but it simply turns into aloofness, and it's as if people think that I think I'm too good for them, but I'm not worthy of much of anything.

It's ridiculous. Even on the anonymous internet, I can't be myself; I'm so self-conscious. If I were brave I could be myself, but then I wouldn't really know who to be.

I understand what you mean. I used to feel like a little kid wandered into an adult conversation almost every time I posted here. I said some really stupid things, and gave dumb and obvious advice to people who were in situations far beyond what a kid like me could comprehend. And then when I'm feeling self destructive and juvenile I go on long rants saying things like, oh I'm going to go cut myself, la de da. I have to go back and edit out my posts the next day, but of course the damage has been done, people think of me as a little attention whore and that's the last thing I want. I almost left the forum because I felt like I was too young to ever fit in, but now it's not so bad, I just steer clear of the really adult issues and try to help out as best I can with people who are having problems that I do understand. Anyway, that would be my advice, just reply to things you understand, and don't worry too much about what you don't.
And just to throw this out there, this forum is a lot more accepting and understanding than really any other I've been to. Anyone who is mean here is that way because they are in pain, if you're nice they usually come around and are nice in return.
 
lonelyloser said:
There are some people who are outspoken in forums, and they get heard the most. I find that if you say something that's a little off some people might get offended and start to dislike you, which is why I shy away from writing sometimes, even though I'm just being honest. I would say don't be afraid to defend your position if someone tries to attack you, cause you deserve to be here as much as everyone else.

Yes, everyone deserves to be here and to be heard.

Skorian said:
I think it's a good step just to admit being scared even of posting on a forum.

Yes, it's a good step to start with.

qui said:
...I have to go back and edit out my posts the next day, but of course the damage has been done, people think of me as a little attention whore and that's the last thing I want.

I've never thought this of you Qui... so just goes to show that, despite what you think, others may perceive things differently than you do sabishiinaa. We are our own greatest critics.
 
I often worry about people not liking me evn here, sometimes i hold back posting something because I'm afriad of being judged badly for it.

I also hate that I want to help comfort people if they have a sad post or something, but my words feel dry and I never know how to word them any better. i wish i could sound so inspiring and poetic as others.

And don't worry Qui I've always thought very highly of you, i've found comfort of knowing someone here thats the same age


I'm so fond of everyone here, and I always worry about sounding dwebish too. It's a major part of my pysche that i just can never seem to throw off no matter how hard I try.
 
Qui said:
I understand what you mean. I used to feel like a little kid wandered into an adult conversation almost every time I posted here. I said some really stupid things, and gave dumb and obvious advice to people who were in situations far beyond what a kid like me could comprehend. And then when I'm feeling self destructive and juvenile I go on long rants saying things like, oh I'm going to go cut myself, la de da. I have to go back and edit out my posts the next day, but of course the damage has been done, people think of me as a little attention whore and that's the last thing I want. I almost left the forum because I felt like I was too young to ever fit in, but now it's not so bad, I just steer clear of the really adult issues and try to help out as best I can with people who are having problems that I do understand. Anyway, that would be my advice, just reply to things you understand, and don't worry too much about what you don't.
And just to throw this out there, this forum is a lot more accepting and understanding than really any other I've been to. Anyone who is mean here is that way because they are in pain, if you're nice they usually come around and are nice in return.
Qui! We are almost of the same age (I think I'm older?) but yet I really think you speak well enough to sound like an adult. Your posts are always thoughtful to me and I've always thought that you speak so much better than I do..and also in terms of expressing yourself. You totally don't sound like a kid, and you totally fit in well here, that's what I think :)
 
sabishiinaa said:
Anyone weird like me and feel shy, even on a forum?--like someone won't like what I write, judge me because of my age, my tastes, my words, my pathetic attempts at profoundness? I substitute the word school with class, teacher with professor, just so I sound a bit older--it's absolutely idiotic. I read almost everything but I don't reply often because I'm shy--I don't know how to say anything right.

Logic tells me no one cares about me enough to even judge: people are too worried about themselves to go out of their way to condemn me, but it always feels like there are eyes watching every move I make, waiting for me to make a slight blunder.

In person, I can almost cover up my shyness, but it simply turns into aloofness, and it's as if people think that I think I'm too good for them, but I'm not worthy of much of anything.

It's ridiculous. Even on the anonymous internet, I can't be myself; I'm so self-conscious. If I were brave I could be myself, but then I wouldn't really know who to be.


HAY!!! I know where your coming from. Don't worry about it. There is other ppl here that feel the same way.

When I fist got the net not even 2 years ago I didn't even know how to tern a PC on. One of the fist things I found was a forum I wonted to post on. I did not know how to check my spelling and let me tell you I have pretty bad spelling. In the end I posted anyway. I did get some ppl taking the you know what. But I had a go back at them cos I do enjoy a bit of a well argument sometimes :D (not on here) This is just not the right place for it. Anyway they where saying things like "what are you on about." "I have no clue what you just said" But I keep posting and eventually lernt how to use spell check and the spelling has got a bit better. And so has my confidence. Know I just think as long as ppl can understand me who cares what ppl think. The decent ppl well be friends and that's all that counts.

That's my story told the short way in why I was to shy to post :) ppl here would probably be surprised that not even two years ago I would have been to skerd to make one single post on a forum. (what can I say , am a fast lerner ;)) Don't be shy on here. The only ppl that well judge you on here is the trolls and they do that to everyone. But we have got rid of them for know :)
 
sabishiinaa said:
It's ridiculous. Even on the anonymous internet, I can't be myself; I'm so self-conscious. If I were brave I could be myself, but then I wouldn't really know who to be.

I stopped worrying about this, but I admit it was a concern of mine when I first started posting here.

I'm sure there are people that find me strange, boring, perverse or whatever, but I refuse to let that get in the way of sharing my thoughts. I'd rather be hated for who I am than liked by everyone for being a phony.

At the end of the day, all we can be are ourselves.
 
evanescencefan91 said:
I often worry about people not liking me evn here, sometimes i hold back posting something because I'm afriad of being judged badly for it.
yea, me too.

I also hate that I want to help comfort people if they have a sad post or something, but my words feel dry and I never know how to word them any better.
they never feel dry.
 
Hmmmm what to say, what to say.

Well if anyone does say something to far out of line trust that I will get out my club and let you have it. *evil grin*

That said, most people are so far away from that line I can't even see you......... *Peers around standing all by himself by the line with club in hand*

How will anyone even know who you are if your to afraid to say?

Most things people say aren't something that can per say be liked or disliked. It simply is. Most things are not right, wrong, or otherwise. They simply are a detail. Though there are always those who will pick at details. Mostly though they are just looking for those who are timid and some sort of excuse to act on being hostile. It's not about what is said, but how it is said and that that puts you out there as an easy target.

I always think it makes it easier to say things when people see someone else going first.

I think most people have all kinds of ideas. Most they don't act on. Just because someone thinks one thing or another doesn't really mean anything at all. It's sort of like hating your TV set just because the current show on at the moment sucks. So you just change the channel if you can or do something else for a while. Of course if you can't communicate with others then you will feel even more weird and isolated and believe your the only one who had that thought or idea. The really amazing thing about people is the sky is the limit. What ever a person can think of really is the possibility. I say screw the social norms. They aren't the norm anyways. People are weird. The world is weird. There are just a few groups out there that try to fit everyone into a tiny box and put a nice pretty ribbon on top. They tend to be some of the scariest people in this world. As long as you’re trying to be constructive and not out to hurt anyone then it just doesn't really matter. I don't think anyone can be summed up in a few words or a paragraph even. To assume that a few words that you say sums you up or even how people view you just isn't right. Especially since a person can say something and agree with it at the time. Then a few days later or even hours later decide they don't even agree with what they thought or said at that time. I don't know of anyone that doesn't have that happen now and then.

I also think that often it's not about what is wanted to be said, but that people just feel fear in general. Just admitting to that fear can show a great deal of courage.
 
My advice is to say whatever you want, and don't let any of us judge you. Your thoughts and your words are sacred, and while I may not agree, you have every right to express them.

Concisely yours,
IO
 
I kinda feel this way. Sometimes my friends invite me into a chat and I don't really say anything because I don't really know anyone there and don't want to make the wrong impression
 
I hate feeling like I have nothing to add to a conversation, but there's an awkward silence where I feel preassured to say something. What can I do when I have nothing to say?
 
Qui said:
I hate feeling like I have nothing to add to a conversation, but there's an awkward silence where I feel preassured to say something. What can I do when I have nothing to say?
I would either just keep quiet and look dumb (lol), keep quiet and look deep in thought, or just say "I don't know what to say" lol. Usually it's the first one..sigh..
 

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