Pet Death

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M

Mechanical

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So yeah, I'm back. It's been awhile. I'm such a loner type of person I don't even come to this forum. Too many people! *hides* Well, just kidding about that, but I've been busy. Just recently, however, I've been having an awful time. For awhile I was so busy around Christmas time that I forgot how lonely I was, but now that its over and I'm thinking again and having some free time I am really feeling it. I made a "resolution" to be more sociable with friends I do have and strangers to try to make friends, but its been nothing but trouble. Two of the parties that were to happen during the past week were canceled because the hostesses got sick. Bummer. On top of that, this Tuesday, just three days ago, my pet hamster died.

I've had pets die before: two cats, fish. But I was younger, and they weren't MY pets. My hamster Devlin was MY pet, and he trusted me more than anyone else and was the cutest little guy ever. Then when I get up for school I see him lying limp in his cage and rush over to find him breathing shallowly. I picked him up and he was so limp and I started crying hysterically... My mom was all like "yeah, he's old" and "I know he's gonna die" and all that. So my dad came back home from work and we took him to the vet. Long story short, he had pneumonia (I knew the signs of seeing the gunk around the eyes but he always blinked it away and I didn't think about it too much) which is curable. But she also felt a cyst or tumor in his stomach, and that was what was killing him.

I felt so horrible. I should have known, you know? He was getting fat, I thought, and he's getting fat because I got him a different kind of food and he's not been running that much. And he hasn't eben running that much because he's been getting old, nothing more. But I had it all backwards. I should have taken him to the vet when I realized he wasn't running as much. I was just...complacent. Worried, but not worried enough. I feel like its all my fault, I should have known. No matter what anyone says.

My parents have kind of taught me to only go to doctors in emergencies, and I put that on my pet. I never get check ups or anything like normal people. But I should have known when to bring him to the vet, you know? Maybe he would have lived another year, or at least not suffered so much.

The vet reassured me that rodents like hamsters, rabbits, etc. all hide their weaknesses because they are prey animals, and it is hard to see the signs. Yet I still feel awful. I don't know how to deal with his death. I miss him so much. And then I feel stupid for being so upset; I think other people will be like, "its just a stupid hamster, geez, get over it." But I loved DEVLIN, not a hamster! He was unique and he was my first pet.

On top of everything, this is the thing most making me numb, sad, and uncaring. It's not like I'm actively suicidal, I just wouldn't care if I died or found out I was dying. That scares me. I really appreciate life, even if I'm miserable. I just don't know what to do. And there's no one I can talk to about my feelings, because they wouldn't understand. And I don't feel that comfortable with anyone. Now, more than ever, I'm afraid to get close to even another pet because they'll die eventually.
 
Everything dies eventually. Pets, plants, people. It's hard, but that doesn't mean we should never live. I'm sorry for your loss, and I don't think it's ridiculous at all to miss Devlin. However, shutting down and refusing to get close to another pet won't help you to feel better. You've just got to take advantage of the time you've got, because nothing lasts forever.
 
ya i'm sorry too. It's never weird or uncommon to feel a great loss for a pet. because it's like they're part of the family. But don't worry i'm sure you were a great caretaker, and it wasn't your fault.

When I was 12 we had to put our dog Alex to sleep, and I was really sad for a while and I cried a lot. Pets become part of the family and a friend. Actually my family Got alex before i was born and he was about 14 when he died, so he had been around my whole life.

ya saddly what qui sad about nothing lasts forever well is unfoortunatly true, but I'm sure he had a good life and considered you a firend too. And we all know that he's in a better place now.
 
Losing pets is always hard. They do become part of the family, and are always tere for you. Unlike a person they dont judge you by your looks and will always love you no matter what.
Ive lost 3 dogs sofar. First one got sick while we were on vacation and died the day before we got back, and the other 2 we had put down at the same time. One was old and was starting to have issues, and the other was only 4 and developed diabetes. That was really hard for me because he was my dog and he was still very young. He was kissing me and wagging his tail as we were taking him to the vets :(

Anyways I have two new dogs now. They dont replace the ones I had, but they remind me of all the good times I had with them.

It hurts for a while, but after a little bit you dont focus so much on losing them and just remember the good things.
 
Mechanical said:
And there's no one I can talk to about my feelings, because they wouldn't understand. And I don't feel that comfortable with anyone. Now, more than ever, I'm afraid to get close to even another pet because they'll die eventually.
I do understand what you're saying, Mechanical :)
Yes it is hard to get close to another animal after one that was close to you died. I do quite understand how you must feel and I'm really sorry for your loss.

I am a great animal lover myself. I used to have a tortoise as a pet (a land tortoise), the only one my parents allowed me to have. He was the best little animal I've ever met in my life. It may seem like tortoises are slow animals and that they have no expressions or visible facial reactions..but actually I can see it. I can tell when his face looks pissed (lol from me waking him up), I can tell when he's happy and curious about his surroundings etc. I think, he was the only one in my family who could understand how I feel and know when I was down or something. He'd come by and sit next to me. There was even one time he turned to face me when I called out to him. Just so intelligent :)

Long story cut short, I lost him through giving him up (was forced to) to the zoo. It was hard to let him go. Hard letting go of some living presence who could understand you even without having to say any words. I couldn't bring myself to think of or be near animals soon after that either.

After awhile, you'll accept it. And you should allow yourself to get close to other animals as it helps to heal too. But take your time. No other one can replace your loss, but they can make you feel better.

sloth4urluv said:
It hurts for a while, but after a little bit you dont focus so much on losing them and just remember the good things.
Yup, after awhile, you just remember the good memories you have of them :)

I miss mine. But it's all good cos I know he'd be better taken care of where he's at now :)
 
It is really hard to lose a pet; although, it is a wonderful feeling to rescue a new pet and bring that love into your house again. What better way to honor your late pet's memory than to bring a new one in and offer it the same love?
 
Thanks everyone. It meant a lot for me to get it off my chest and that someone else understands. I've stopped crying about it, mainly because I just can't cry anymore (it really drains you). But I guess that's progress. I still feel lonely in this different way, though. The weirdest part is that my family knows how broken up I am about it, even though I don't cry in front of them, and yet they only offer little words of support. Which makes it worse. I'd rather they either don't talk about it at all like they normally do, or sit down with me and let me get it fully off my chest. I don't like to rub my pain in other people's faces and make them feel bad or awkward, so I haven't dragged anybody into it. But at least they could leave me alone instead of letting me know that they know I'm heartbroken and not doing anything about it. I'd rather they feign ignorance. To me, that just means they aren't willing to fully commit to taking on the anguish I feel, which in turn means they don't care about me enough. I know I'd do it for any of them.
 
Mechanical, That sucks. I know how hurtful it is when a pet dies. It not just a pet but your friend are even part of the family. Something you loved. Sounds like he was well looked after tho. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You did everything you could. He is in a good place now and probably doing the things he enjoys. That's how I would think of it anyway.
 
Mechanical said:
I don't like to rub my pain in other people's faces and make them feel bad or awkward, so I haven't dragged anybody into it. But at least they could leave me alone instead of letting me know that they know I'm heartbroken and not doing anything about it. I'd rather they feign ignorance. To me, that just means they aren't willing to fully commit to taking on the anguish I feel, which in turn means they don't care about me enough. I know I'd do it for any of them.
I totally get you on this one. Sometimes it may seem like they only care half-heartedly. Then again, you know they're like that, so don't let it bother you too much. Hope you feel better though.
 
Aww, i'm so sorry about your hamster. I have a hamster and I know I'd be very sad if I lost him. I guess when you don't really have friends, pets become everything to you.. they love you no matter what. It sounds like you made sure he had an awesome life, though, so, yeah, you really shouldn't feel guilty. Right now you may not feel like you can get close to another pet. In time, though, you will, and you'll have lots of fun with your new friend :).
 
Yay, I finally got approved so I could post something I wanted to post like a week ago.

I understand completely.

I recently lost my dog of 14 years. He was a Border Collie and he had so much personality and intelligence, I grew very close to him. Everyone did. He learned an incredible number of words and some hand gestures on his own without an real training. He loved going on car rides and sticking his head out of the window, taking walks and he loved to play. He seemd to have limitless energy. He was so charismatic and people loved him. Neighbors children would come over and ask to play with him. I had gotten him as a puppy as a gift from my parents when I was 14 or so.

The vet thinks think he had a stroke combined with old age and a hip issue that is a concern for the breed. Because one day he suddenly seemed to change somehow and it got worse quite rapidy. He had difficulty walking straight. Then he progressively lost the ability to hold his back end up. He had almost became paraplegic. He was rather large for a Border Collie, at around 40-50lbs, he was hard to care for since he could not longer do anything other than drag himself across the floor. I literally had to hold his back end up while he walked with his front. He adapted to this very quickly, but seemed reluctant to go to the bathroom with someone with him. He would after apparently reaching his limit of being able to restrain. But sometimes during the night he simply couldn't hold it any more. He knew he wasn't supposed to go in the house and as intelligent as he was, I could honestly see the shame in his eyes as he watched me clean him, and after him. I knew it bothered him to be left helpless. And it began to take it's toll and he would get irritable. He degenerated even more and I finally decided that if it were me, I wouldn't want to live on like that. It was so very painful to make the choice to take him to the vet knowing afterwards I'd be digging a grave for him in my back yard. It was one of the most painful days in my life. I cried so hard there at the vet and I'm a 27 year old guy. And months later I still find myself, late a night, missing him enough to still cry.

At that time I thought to myself I don't ever want to get another pet, it just hurts too much when they die. But as time goes on that feeling went away. And I decided only when I am financially stable enough to provide routine health care will I get another pet. The fun we had growing up together and the impact he had on the lives of everyone around me was worth it. I wouldn't forget the good time, to forget the pain. Ever. Eventually you will feel better and appreciate the time you did have. Even at only 27 I've seen so many people and pets die. It's all very painful but it helps to reinforce the time you had together and makes you apprciate the future time with others all the more. It really is important to make sure you make good use of the time you do have.

Regret is one of the worst things to try and live with.
 

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