Amanda Todd: Young girl kills self due to cyberbullying/bullying

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Ijustwish

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I've read many, many bullied to death articles...especially while I was young and at school because I often wanted to follow in the victim's footsteps. When I was young I felt hopeless and depressed because I was bullied mercilessly...so many youth commit suicide...youth make mistakes, that doesn't mean that they should be tormented and deserve to die...

The poor girl felt that it was the only option...and even after her death, on her memorial page - ADULTS are even leaving nasty comments...wow, this is truly a cruel world...there are so many snotty people that will say things like "get a backbone" and all of this...but is it too much to simply show kindness to one another? Is that asking too much? There is so much suffering in the world already...why add to it? Why hurt others???

(There is a video too)
http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Amyanda+Todd+speaks+about+daughter+death/7384521/story.html

Amanda Todd death: Mom speaks out about her daughter, bullying (with video)

Teen made a YouTube video about the harassment that eventually led to her taking her own life

BY GILLIAN SHAW, VANCOUVER SUN OCTOBER 13, 2012 5:34 PM

167

STORYPHOTOS ( 24 )VIDEO ( 4 )



Port Coquitlam teen who died on October 10 of suspected suicide has documented her misery in a heartbreaking YouTube video. Bullying is a serious issue and Amanda Todd's mother wants the video to be used to help others who may be suffering as her daughter did.
Amanda Todd’s mother, Carol Todd, doesn’t want other children to suffer as her daughter did — stalked and harassed by bullies in cyberspace and in the schoolyard, by people she knew and by stalkers many miles away.

Amanda told her story in the heart-wrenching video that chronicled her nightmare: the taunts, the beating, the cyber-stalker who tracked her down whenever she tried to start afresh at a new school — firing off images that captured her showing off her young body, flattered by online attention from someone she thought was a kid just like her.

Amanda killed herself this week, one month shy of her 16th birthday and one month after telling the world through a YouTube video of bullying that left her depressed and despairing.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, click here for ways to get help

Now Carol wants to tell her story. It is a story no mother wants to tell.

“Amanda was a very caring individual. She would help others who needed help,” Carol told The Vancouver Sun during an exclusive interview Friday at her home, where she was surrounded by friends and family. “One of Amanda’s goals was to get her message out there and have it used as a learning tool for others.”

As a teacher in the Coquitlam school district and a specialist in assistive technologies, Carol is comfortable around computers and knows well the dangers the online world can hold. Still, she wasn’t able to protect her child.

“I have lost one child, but know she wanted her story to save 1,000 more.”

Amanda was 12 years old when she made a mistake that would haunt her until her death three years later.

Her ordeal started while she was fooling around online with friends. She probably didn’t think it was risky behaviour when she lifted her top to flash the person who was flattering her at the other end of the webcam.

Amanda’s moment of indiscretion was not unusual for someone her age: Sexting and using webcams to share sexual photos is a growing trend among children, some so young they are still in grade school.

“The Internet stalker she flashed kept stalking her,” said Carol. “Every time she moved schools he would go undercover and become a Facebook friend. What the guy did was he went online to the kids who went to (the new school) and said that he was going to be a new student — that he was starting school the following week and that he wanted some friends and could they friend him on Facebook.”

“He eventually gathered people’s names and sent Amanda’s video to her new school.”

The video and photos went to teachers, to parents, to Facebook friends, which lead to repeated taunts: “Oh, there’s the porn star.”

“It increased her anxiety and she couldn’t go to class,” Carol said.

In putting together her video, which Amanda did on her own, Carol said her daughter wanted to help other young people who are being bullied and to bring attention and education to the problem in the hope of seeing it eradicated.

“Amanda wanted to tell her story to help other kids. I want to tell my story to help parents, so they can be aware, so they can teach their kids what is right and wrong and how to be safe online,” she said. “Kids have iPads, they have smartphones, technology is much more accessible than it was even five years ago — that is the dangerous factor.”

When Amanda’s story and video went viral this week, the outpouring of grief from local teens left Carol unable to distinguish Amanda’s true friends from those who may have helped drive her to suicide.

Carol has launched a trust fund in Amanda’s memory to raise money for anti-bullying awareness education and for support programs for youth with mental health issues.

Amanda was the victim of unrelenting blackmail. And the cyberspace stalker was aided by people in Amanda’s real-world life — kids who would share the photos on their cellphones, kids who would gang up to hurl first verbal abuse and then fists at her.

“Everything she said in the video happened over the past two years,” said Carol. “It was horrendous. I think about it now and I think, ‘Oh my God. How did she survive this long with the pain?’ ”

The end, when it came, was a shock. Despite Amanda’s earlier suicide attempts, Carol said in recent days and weeks she was getting much better. She spent time in hospital in September, getting treatment and counselling.

Her life was starting to return to normal, which it hadn’t been since grade 8.

“She felt like a normal teenager, she was so proud of herself,” said Carol. “She went out with friends, she went to the mall, she said to me, ‘Mom, this is the first time that I feel normal again. I have had the best day ever.’”

Carol doesn’t know what caused her daughter’s setback, but Amanda may have given Carol an answer in a private video.

“She left me a video message on her phone. I’m not ready to look at it yet,” said Carol.

“The coroner has told me it will provide closure for me but I can’t look at it yet.”

Carol doesn’t know what happened, but sometime earlier this week — before Amanda killed herself late Wednesday afternoon — something happened to shatter that fragile recovery.

The police have been unable to track her stalker down. “The police investigated and investigated, it got traced to somebody in the United States,” said Carol. “But they never found him. Those people are very good at hiding their tracks.” The suspected pedophile threatened that if she didn’t do a show for him, he would circulate her pictures again. Amanda wouldn’t bow to the pressure and he carried out his threat.

Finger-pointing at schools for not stopping bullying only angers Carol. She said Amanda, who had learning problems, had excellent support in the Coquitlam school district, where Amanda spent most of her school time.

Since March, she was a student at CABE, Coquitlam Alternate Basic Education secondary school, which is a haven for youth who, for whatever reason, need the alternative learning situation.

It was there that Amanda made friends, among both the students and staff.

“She had a good support network there,” said Carol. Among the teachers Amanda especially liked was former Olympic track and field star Leah Pells, who teaches physical education at the school. “She and Amanda clicked and Amanda trusted her,” said Carol.

Carol is much more tech savvy than the average parent.

But Amanda’s victimization at the hands of the stalker led Carol to learn more about the horrifying world of child pornography, where some victims don’t even know their images are being shown on porn sites.

“You’ll see pornography and the girls are so young,” she said.

“I don’t know if the girls are doing this for kicks, if their parents are monitoring it or if they even know about it.

The Amanda Todd trust fund is being held at the Royal Bank of Canada, which will be accepting donations in Amanda’s name at all its branches.



Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Am...g+with+video/7384521/story.html#ixzz29ETNMrYB


There was another example case not long ago...where a teen went to a party, was drugged, gang-raped and all the boys and girls recorded it on video and kept sharing it and sharing it and sharing it...even after involvement of RCMP, THEY STILL ENJOYED IT AND SHARED IT AND BULLIED HER...wtf is wrong with today's youth? I don't mind the world ending AT ALL...some people are born with black hearts!! Humanity is horrible...I try to find the beauty in it but such actions...they hurt me...why do people do this?? And this children are our future???


Amanda’s tormentors were far worse than mere bullies: Daphne Bramham (video)

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Am...llies+Daphne+Bramham+video/7383600/story.html
(The YouTube video she created is in here)

Here is an excerpt:
The American Psychological Association says early sexualization plays a major role in the deterioration of girls’ mental health.

The more sexualized images girls consume, the APA says, the more likely they are to agree that it’s okay for women and girls to be shown as sexual objects, and the more strongly they believe that their value depends on appearance.

The more sexualized images of girls and women that boys see, the more sexist their beliefs become and the less able they are to have normal relationships with girls and women.

It should be no surprise then that nearly 70 per cent of Internet intimidation is aimed at young girls and women. Nor is it surprising that pedophiles prowl online chat rooms, hunting for prey.
 
Ita tragic kids would make fun of somebody to that extreme.

What a pretty little girl. Very sad story
 
I'm not surprised to be honest. This seems to be happening more and more. I fail to understand some people who say stuff like ''Grow a backbone'' to those who try to reach out to them or others. I tend to think that they can't have been treated very badly in life for them to say such a thing. I also fail to understand why everyone seemingly at least, has to strong all the time. Why do some people think we have to take everything on the chin? Because they think they have? I don't know. I try to stay away from bullies and I try to stop such behavior if I come across it.
 
From my experience, the only way to deal with a bully is to beat his face into hamburger. Whether you win or lose the fight, chances are, if the bully knows he has a punch to the face coming if he messes with you, he'll think twice before he does it again.
 
I find myself wondering why the child's mother didn't keep her off of FB and the internet when this stuff started.
Not placing blame, just wondering if things would have turned out differently.
 
EveWasFramed said:
I find myself wondering why the child's mother didn't keep her off of FB and the internet when this stuff started.
Not placing blame, just wondering if things would have turned out differently.

sometimes easier said than done..
my sister is going through stuff recently with her daughter, and she has been banned from all socail media multiple times. but of course kids arent stupid.. she sneeks off and makes another new account shortly after.
and its hard to keep them offline as well. you can police it at home, but computers are everywhere..

the parents deffinately could have paid alot more attention to her imho though. this didnt need to happen =/
 
I was reading about this story last night. I hope they find whoever was harassing/stalking her and distributing child pornography. I don't think there will ever be an end to childhood bullying. Hopefully parents can be more aware and children who are bullied get the help they need.
 
I literally just read about this, elsewhere. =/
Such utter bullshit, the way people treat others. And this is just gonna keep on happening, which makes it even more sad. :(
Please none of you leave me.
 
I am seeing a lot of people saying she deserved the bullying and deserved to die. I don't understand how anyone could ever deserve to be bullied or kill themself.
 
I feel sorry for that girl. Society, and mostly her parents, failed her. I am also sorry for her parents and her friends who will live with her taking her life away.
 
I hope all images in question have been removed as best from the internet now, would be awful if they were still circulating. Who ever distributed the said images needs to be hunted and thrown in jail for distribution of illegal "pornography" (illegal content really, not sure if it'll fall directly under the label of "pornography" - then again I call it "porn" because why the hell else would you flash your breasts if not to arouse...)...

I was bullied badly in all compulsory education, I hate that "grow a backbone" honeysuckle with a vengeance. You shouldn't have to "grow a backbone", people just shouldn't be ********.

I'm in agreement with the forum members saying it's not that easy or straight forward keeping kids in check when it comes to computers/internet use. However, there is an abundance of software available for parents these days, but that'll require your kid not to be computer savvy/technical.
 
Kids will find a way...they'll go to the libraries etc...they'll borrow other people's phones...you can only educate, but cannot monitor 24/7.
If any of us had a parent move in and try to stop us from using the internet - we would find a way.
Kids are AMAZING and BETTER at computers than most adults now.
If you control too much, they'll rebel.

Also, how the f did the pedo track her down? That is crazy...just from seeing her cam? Apparently she didn't give any identifying information. Who knows how many more innocent children he is doing this to!

1 - I'm hearing nasty comments about why she flashed herself...I mean, come on...kids make mistakes and we live in a society where young girls are pressured to be sexually attractive at like, 10 ok...adults support this sickness as well by being the ones RESPONSIBLE for sexualizing our youth!
Why the hell are kids that young wearing makeup and worrying about looks!?!?! Look at the magazines, images that are thrown to girls and how it has f-ed up everyone's perception of beauty...a young, fragile, inexperienced mind is not that strong yet...kids are vulnerable and desperate for attention...also young girls I find, are desperate for love from boyfriends etc...dunno why but I guess lots of emphasis being put on having partners even to kids...

2 - All those hypocrite kids bullying her for being a "slut"...I mean, come on...as if they're all innocent angels themselves...bullying her for honeysuckle that they'll probably do as well!!

3 - Stupid crocodile tears and stupid kids (her classmates) all pitying her and sending their condolences...where we they when she needed them??

She was failed by everyone...
 
Pedo "tracking her down" - he may have just taken screen shots of said inappropriate nudity and distributed it like that?

I'm in total, TOTAL agreement with you Ijustwish on your comments on kids being sexualised by the media and such - it's hypocritical that while yes sex crimes against children are criminalised there is still immoral media content that is basically just sexualising kids and sending out the message that kids are/can be sex objects too out there... It's ******* disgusting.
 
Ijustwish said:
Kids will find a way...they'll go to the libraries etc...they'll borrow other people's phones...you can only educate, but cannot monitor 24/7.
If any of us had a parent move in and try to stop us from using the internet - we would find a way.
Kids are AMAZING and BETTER at computers than most adults now.
If you control too much, they'll rebel.

Also, how the f did the pedo track her down? That is crazy...just from seeing her cam? Apparently she didn't give any identifying information. Who knows how many more innocent children he is doing this to!

1 - I'm hearing nasty comments about why she flashed herself...I mean, come on...kids make mistakes and we live in a society where young girls are pressured to be sexually attractive at like, 10 ok...adults support this sickness as well by being the ones RESPONSIBLE for sexualizing our youth!
Why the hell are kids that young wearing makeup and worrying about looks!?!?! Look at the magazines, images that are thrown to girls and how it has f-ed up everyone's perception of beauty...a young, fragile, inexperienced mind is not that strong yet...kids are vulnerable and desperate for attention...also young girls I find, are desperate for love from boyfriends etc...dunno why but I guess lots of emphasis being put on having partners even to kids....

If you're interested in this, a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) documentary came out recently on the priming of hypersexualization of children (mostly girls), the effects of the pr0n industry + technology on children, etc.

Kind of takes slightly paranoid angle, but very provocative and interesting perspectives, including interviews with teens speaking about their experiences dealing with peers, analyzing and dissecting mass media images and celebrity figures (i.e. Miley Cyrus, that bullshit Cosmo rag). Also highlights community members who are working with tweens and teens, self-esteem and sexual health workshops (i.e. http://www.saleemanoon.com/igirl/ )


http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/episode/sext-up-kids.html
"In a hypersexualized society, you're either fuckable or invisible."
"Girls sexuality becomes a performance and distorts their (boys) view of what they're supposed to want and what they're supposed to look for in a girl."

(run time about 45 minutes)
 
Someone should have helped this girl, period. She made a mistake and was paying the price for it, but where were her protectors and supporters?

When I was in public school we had an incident where a girl exposed herself. She was in the 8th grade dating a boy in the 7th grade. She went to his classroom to speak to him, then in front of the entire class she pulled up her top and pulled down her pants. I was not in that class. By recess there were a swarm of boys hounding her wanting her to flash her breasts again. She eventually did it. With all the commotion and hearing what happened in the classroom a female teacher came out and brought the girl in. This teacher scolded all the boys around and protected the girl. She did not condemn the girl for what she did, she helped her. The girl was labeled as a slut for exposing herself. The teacher had to fight to get the school to put their support behind the girl, they originally wanted to expel her. If it wasn't for that one teacher rallying others around this girl it may have ended the same way.

It seems to be it is easier for people to condemn others than it is to help and support them.
 
^From what I've read it seems like she had a pretty good support network. I mean she was in counseling, on medication and was apparently starting to improve. It's hard to say what really happened, but I don't think she was just abandoned by anyone who wanted to help her. Although I don't understand how teachers witnessed her getting beaten and then she still ended up lying in a ditch for her dad to find, I think that's definitely one area where the support network failed her.

It's really horrifying to me that kids in a normal highschool in this country could just stand around and watch a girl getting beaten. The whole thing is just sickening.
 
She was getting help. Something pushed her over the edge mentally that hasn't been made public.
 
the risk for suicide is greatest when people begin to improve because then they have the energy to go through with it. Or so the theory goes.
 

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