I want to Isolate and Play Games all Day

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bodeilla

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Life at home has been good lately and I've been feeling pretty good. I was going to a support group for mental illness and drug abuse. But I missed the last 2 sessions. I'm not a user. I'm just mentally ill. So I don't feel like I belong. Most of those people are 12-steppers. I'm against 12-steps. Been there, done that. I was once a user. I've been clean for 9 years. So I really don't belong in that group. I would rather stay at home and play Guild Wars.

And then there is the option of going to a bi-polar group, which would benefit me. But I don't feel like it. I just want to stay at home. I could also go to Overeaters Anonymous... again, I prefer to at stay home and would rather save gas. And I hate 12-steps.

I'm fine. Just me and my computer. The one friend I tried to make turned out to be a lunatic. So I don't see that it's worth it.

I'm on disability and don't want to lose my benefits so getting a job like some jerk once recommended is not an option. I'm obese so volunteering is limited. I know. I'm coming up with reasons to stay at home. But I've tried to reach out. It's just better to play Guild Wars or WoW.

The Spring is coming up. I could register for some classes at the community college for fun. That would get me out of the house. But again, I don't want to leave. I don't like driving to places I don't know. I don't like driving for more than 20 minutes. So why venture out?

Any words of encouragement are welcome because I know I really need to socialize, I just don't know how when I would rather stay at home where it is safe.
 
What is the particular disability? Are there certain activities we shouldn't recommend due to it?
 
If obesity seems like it is an issue, perhaps you should begin by working out and that might prove to beneficial in other ways as well.
 
My disability is mental illness. So I can't do high stress work anymore, which is what I was doing before. I was a software engineer.

I try my best to get exercise in by walking the dog. It's not the greatest, but it's something. Again, I'm limited to something like water aerobics, which I have equipment for. I just haven't been motivated. I can't run or do zoomba. I would die. I've tried low impact dancing in my living room and hurt in my joints, feet and back for days. That's how big I am.
 
LOL...that's why u hate 12 steps.....especailly when you attend NA.
Becuase its hitting you between the eyes.

Read the literature.....
1, We are powerless over our ADDICTIONS and our lives became messed up.lol
It donst say drugs, alcohol, sex, food, shoping, vedio games....ect.
The disease of ADDICTION is all inclusive..it has no bonds nor discriminate.

If you suffer form the disease of addiction,,,,you dont even have to use
to engauge in old unhealthy behaviors...
It's what people term as a "dry drunk"

isolations....that what the disease of addiction dose to people.

However...it's only the symtoms of our deeper inner problems....
Whats really bothering you? Why are you hurting? What are you running from?

stop beating up on yourself....
Let go of the guilt...the disease feeds on guilt.
 
I walked off and on in Vegas for three days on vacation and ended up with arthritis in my knees for 2 weeks.
 
I like to gamble occasionally. I always have a limit though.

I like gratitude lists. I practice scripting as much as possible. I start with being grateful. This is all done via journal. Then I write down my intentions for the day. And finally, I commune spiritually with my HP.

It helps me a lot, especially when I'm going through a rough spot.
 
The principle of the first step is acceptence.
Self acceptence....

I dont attend NA or AA anymore....i had 12 years clean and sober.
However i piked up a gambling addiction.
I also played lots of vedio games in my early recovery, yes i was addticted to them....

Anyways...Im bascailly doing lots of positive thinking. its about as getting back to the basic as Im going to get.
Its the basic of being grateful and appricative....you know. It gets old for me to hear that honeysuckle too.
You also know as well as i do...when we apply whatever we apply...it works.
You also know as well as I do...the more we are grateful...the better our lives gets.
You also know as weel as i do...lot of people stop working thier program after they get well...
then it's a slow slipping and sliding slop.

Im back to the basic...lol


My HP and have a communication problem...
People say...Im not listiening to god..
I say god aint hearing me out.lmao.

It's all good....
Dont be so hard on yourself...you know that.
Give yourself a break...
 
Well, you can start by trying to limit and control your diet as well. Intake is a significant source of weight contro las well.
 
Bodeliia....if you had 9 years. You have plenty of tools that you learned and can apply in your life.
You also have people skills...becuase of the amount and variety of people we met in recovery and using.
You also know...people like you and I dont do very good if we isolate for too long.
It's like a devils work shop. We simply think too much sometimes. Then the committee starts going..then we're messed.

Im sorry your life changed for the worst...at the moment. You also know as well as I do, It'll get better...if
we dont enguage in unhealthy behaviors. My life turned upside down 4 years ago.
I still have to stay plugged into the fellowship. I didnt work my steps and sometimes
I couldnt tolerate some of the people...but i couldnt isolate myself.
I also had a falling out with the fellowships and some people in it...
Mainly because they were hitting on Sherry my GF...soon to be ex, at the time.

Im with Renae at the moment.....she cameback into my life after 22 years.
I got clean and sober 6 month after Renae and I broke up 22 years ago.
Its been a hell of fun , heartaches for the past 2 years with her.

The only time my father hugged me was in the rooms of AA. He got sober for 3 months.
The last time I attended NA was the day my father died...not too long ago.
I just sat there..No one knew nor cared what was going on in my life.
I got very very drunk that night and wished to be alone......

I know the 12 steps isnt going to solve all your problems.
but isolating yourself from life isnt living either.

Im with Renae at the moment...God knows what's better for me...I suppost.
4 years ago when I was crying over Sherry....I counldnt convieve of being with Renae again.
So...WTF do i know???? lol
Reane was my HS sweetheart abd also exfiancee....

I hope your HP guides you and surround you with love, peace and happiness.
Please be well....
 
it might affect your mood to tackle your obesity... also might help your arthritus in your knees.
 
As others have mentioned, you should try to tackle your weight. I must admit I've never been overweight, but even so I struggle to eat healthy. What works for me is keeping all the snacking to the weekends, and eating fruit when I need something 'quick'. I'm slowly gaining fat though, since I'm not exercising anymore.

Care to give us an example of your diet?
 

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