Dating sites - What women look for

At dinner last night there were three women talking about their dating site experiences. One said that if she gets an email from a guy there is an instant "would do him" or "would not do him" based on his picture. If it was the former, she would read his profile and maybe reply. If it was the latter, the message goes into /dev/nul.

Same thing when browsing guys.

The other two agreed and said they do the same.

So, at least on dating sites, it appears that if you're not "hot" by today's standards you are are a serious disadvantage if most women think like these three!

That's pretty much what the guys do there, though, except with more dicks in people's inboxes.

There's a reason there are multiple blogs and tags dedicated to the horrors of dating sites, and it's not because they're inspiring places.

of course..
when people are looking for love and/or dates they will head towards a person that they find attractive. that being said, people will also find someone attractive when they think they have a chance as well.
if i were to see some unrealistcally hot and successful woman, i would think to myself, theres nothing she would find attractive about me.. then i would move on to the next without a thought. infact i've heard of lots of attractive women that say they sit home alone way too often because guys are afraid to approach them because they think they wont have a chance with them.

LonelyInAtl said:

At dinner last night there were three women talking about their dating site experiences. One said that if she gets an email from a guy there is an instant "would do him" or "would not do him" based on his picture. If it was the former, she would read his profile and maybe reply. If it was the latter, the message goes into /dev/nul.

Same thing when browsing guys.

The other two agreed and said they do the same.

So, at least on dating sites, it appears that if you're not "hot" by today's standards you are are a serious disadvantage if most women think like these three!

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we all know this already !

It's the same in the real world.

Well they should have no reason, I contact them. Its their own fault, do not blame them for not talking to me though.

it's the way it is. No point in complaining about it !

Sigh. Here we go again.

Barbaloot said:

Sigh. Here we go again.

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Sigh. Here we go again.

I think the question is: What can we men say in an opening message that will more likely make a woman reply back?

Barbaloot said:

Sigh. Here we go again.

Click to expand...

I know right... Same honeysuckle, different bag kind of thing....

Drew88 said:

I think the question is: What can we men say in an opening message that will more likely make a woman reply back?

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Here are some good ideas, from the hottest studs OKCupid has to offer.

what ever it is you say, make it the truth!
no one wants to hear a line, they want to have a sense that you are being real. same as a guy would want.
would be the same for you if you felt that a girl was being phony with you. it's a turn-off.

I had a friend when I was younger that was a good looking guy, and certain girls fell for him easy. but only certain type girls.. the ones who only wanted a fling or a good time. not the girlfriend type if you know what i mean. where as for me, the girls that went for him never gave me a second look. just as the girls that went for me never gave him a second look. my wife (which was my g/f at the time) told me that he had a certain something that was attractive physically, but everything else from his attitude down to the smirk on his face turned off any girls looking for a serious relationship. they want to party with a wild man that has a tight body but not necessarily marry them lol.
in my expirience alot of women are looking for that match, the soul mate that is the other half of a whole. someone they feel comfy with that they can connect with. which by that very deffinition means no 2 are alike.
so really, what opening line you use or how to approach a girl you may like would depend on the type you are looking for.
some want brains, some want muscles and some may look for other things. the key is to find one that is looking for a guy just like you. whether she already knows it or not.

VanillaCreme said:

Barbaloot said:

Sigh. Here we go again.

Click to expand...

I know right... Same honeysuckle, different bag kind of thing....

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I have the right to express my opinions just like everybody else on this forum.

If you don't like it, don't read. My opinion is what you write is honeysuckle. But that is my opinion.

Hank2 said:

of course..
when people are looking for love and/or dates they will head towards a person that they find attractive. that being said, people will also find someone attractive when they think they have a chance as well.
if i were to see some unrealistcally hot and successful woman, i would think to myself, theres nothing she would find attractive about me.. then i would move on to the next without a thought. infact i've heard of lots of attractive women that say they sit home alone way too often because guys are afraid to approach them because they think they wont have a chance with them.

Click to expand...

Dude, nobody who has a face, a head, and a heart, can be left alone if they don't really want it.

Especially since all a beautiful girl (assuming everything else about her is average) needs to do to get one, any partner, is to reach out and grab. Girls and guys like that are just bitching because they are not getting what they want.

Women periodically contact me on dating website wanting to get to know me.
Unfortunately they never have the time to talk and then they disappear.

well, i knew a girl in middle school that was a hot blonde in every sense of the word. sort of a jessica simpson at her best type look.
and everyone at that school turned into fools around her. and we all assumed that she was way out of our league.
well, a few years out of school and I ended up meeting up with her at a party that my band was playing at, and me, and friend of mine and her sat down for at least an hour talking about old times when she explained all this to me and told us how she sat home on weekends feeling left out and ignored. didnt want to start initiating things with guys and look like a slut. and that if any one of us had actualy asked her out she would have accepted. (yes, i was kicking my own ass at the thought of it)
whatever her reasons, she was being sincere and i believed her.
i'm not the first one to make this claim either.

LonelyInAtl said:

At dinner last night there were three women talking about their dating site experiences. One said that if she gets an email from a guy there is an instant "would do him" or "would not do him" based on his picture. If it was the former, she would read his profile and maybe reply. If it was the latter, the message goes into /dev/nul.

Same thing when browsing guys.

The other two agreed and said they do the same.

So, at least on dating sites, it appears that if you're not "hot" by today's standards you are are a serious disadvantage if most women think like these three!

Click to expand...

And that is why these three women are friends.

Seriously, like minded people float together. If one of them was the opposite the other two wouldn't have been discussing the topic with her. They would have done it when she was gone so they didn't have to hear her say how horrible they were judging guys like that.

Guys do the same thing with the girls, and like someone mentioned women will usually get their inbox filled with pictures of dicks. For some reason there are guys who think that is an appropriate thing to do.

This is why dating sites get bad reps. They are filled with idiots who think they exist solely for them to find a quick lay. That's what the bars are for, at least that way you are half in the bag and won't remember it all the next day.

yet another thread implying that all women are superficial in nature and are only influenced by appearances. the OP has a desperate need to cling to this belief at all costs. why? because it supports his filter/view of the world and allows him to rest comfortably in his failures knowing that they are not his fault in any way, but are instead the fault of evil women and their evil ways.

i've broken it down to him in a dozen ways in a dozen threads.

it's about "attraction" not "appearance".

yes, appearances obviously generate attraction. but they are not the ONLY thing that generates attraction. being funny generates attraction, being confident generates attraction, being brave generates attraction, being successful or endeavoring to be successful generates attraction, etc etc etc.

also, i would highly recommend that he read some books on attraction/dating as he may unintentionally be coming off as lame, creepy, boring, codependent, or some other highly unattractive quality in his words and images that is stopping women from responding to him on these dating sites.

i don't believe all women are shallow. and to state this as fact is misogynistic and unfair.

yes, women (in general) may have certain tendencies (as a group) - SAME WITH MEN - but people are not "groups", they are "individuals" and should be judged as such.

to the OP, if half the time you spent bitching about how shallow women are was spent bettering yourself (and not just your appearance, but you PERSONALITY, DEMEANOR, EMOTIONS, and GAME), then maybe your next thread will be about the hot piece you got last night?

I don't believe in Game and "getting laid".

I'd be wary about sending my dick to someones inbox if it were linked to /dev/nul