Need Help Talking to this Girl

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Chikid

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I am very shy around girls that I like and it has prevented me from having the courage to ask one of them out or have a girlfriend to this point. The times that I have approached her, I have began to blush and that just makes both of us feel uncomfortable. She seems like a really awesome girl but it's almost like a force field prevents me from talking to her. I work with her, but have had the worst luck in terms of scheduling. I am lucky to see her once per week so when I miss out on an opportunity I have to wait a week for a new one ,and then I'm usually embarrassed from the last one

It has gotten to the point where everytime I leave work I start to feel all gloomy and depressed. I am straight A student and this has not only been affecting my chances with her, but my academics as well. I need some advice on how to overcome this fear. Please help
 
I used to be just like you at your age, you're trying to run before you can walk.

Realise at the moment you lack the confidence to ask a girl out and just take the pressure off yourself for a while. Reading your post it seems you've never really spoken to her much and yet you're already infatuated with her, so you're still dealing with a crush and probably living the whole thing out in your mind.

Tell yourself you're just gonna concentrate on getting to know girls better on a friendship level for a while. Rule out getting a girlfriend for a few montsh until you feel a bit more sure of yourself around them. Just view her as a person not an alien species and slowly get chatting to her (not just her, girls in general). Don't look to strike up long conversations just give yourself opportunities for a few words here or there. Ask her a quick question, get the response, say thanks, walk away. Bit like dipping your toe when you can't swim, you don't just dive in do you. Your confidence will build up over time and you'll overcome that obstacle and once you are there you'll be sorted and can start looking for a girlfriend.

One last thing, I dealt with blushing eventually after many years by realising that its not a crime, if you start to blush don't panic it doesn't make you a freak its just that same insecurity that everyone feels. If you start to blush just slow down and accept it and don't panic about it that only makes it worse. A lot of girls see it as a good thing anyway, shows your sensitive side. Its really not the end of the world and shouldn't mean you have to suddenly run away.

Good luck anyway.
 
The Good Citizen said:
I used to be just like you at your age, you're trying to run before you can walk.

Realise at the moment you lack the confidence to ask a girl out and just take the pressure off yourself for a while. Reading your post it seems you've never really spoken to her much and yet you're already infatuated with her, so you're still dealing with a crush and probably living the whole thing out in your mind.

Tell yourself you're just gonna concentrate on getting to know girls better on a friendship level for a while. Rule out getting a girlfriend for a few montsh until you feel a bit more sure of yourself around them. Just view her as a person not an alien species and slowly get chatting to her (not just her, girls in general). Don't look to strike up long conversations just give yourself opportunities for a few words here or there. Ask her a quick question, get the response, say thanks, walk away. Bit like dipping your toe when you can't swim, you don't just dive in do you. Your confidence will build up over time and you'll overcome that obstacle and once you are there you'll be sorted and can start looking for a girlfriend.

One last thing, I dealt with blushing eventually after many years by realising that its not a crime, if you start to blush don't panic it doesn't make you a freak its just that same insecurity that everyone feels. If you start to blush just slow down and accept it and don't panic about it that only makes it worse. A lot of girls see it as a good thing anyway, shows your sensitive side. Its really not the end of the world and shouldn't mean you have to suddenly run away.

Good luck anyway.
Click to expand...

Would it be weird if I just flat out asked her out, before we have really had a deep conversation? What if I just asked her out to lunch? I don't have that much more time at this job as we are both community college students about to transfer away. I know we've had our share of awkward moments but I really want to see where this leads, and as I said time is very limited here.
 
i think you should just ask her out some lunch or something simple as you said. how much do you have to know someone to do that? the point of the date is to get to know them and have the deep convos.
they say most girls know within the first meeting of a guy if he has a chance with her. so chances are she already knows the answer she will give and waiting too long can only work against you.
 
I think that I will. It's embarrassing because pretty much the instant I see her I can feel myself begin to blush. It's nothing I can control but next time I get the opportunity to ask her out I going to at least try. If I fail miserably I will gain confidence based off the attempt. With winter break coming up her, hopefully I have more opportunities to potentially see her.

Does this happen to anyone else?
 
Next time you see this woman, go up and grab her by the back of her head. And I don't mean gently place your hand softly over the back of her skull... I mean, really take a fistful of hair, weaving your fingers in tight, and keep that nice, firm grip in... And tell her that she is going to go out with you, whether she likes it or not.

Or you could just ask her out for some coffee or perhaps some lunch at a pizza place... Either one could get you the desired results...
 
VanillaCreme said:
Next time you see this woman, go up and grab her by the back of her head. And I don't mean gently place your hand softly over the back of her skull... I mean, really take a fistful of hair, weaving your fingers in tight, and keep that nice, firm grip in... And tell her that she is going to go out with you, whether she likes it or not.

Or you could just ask her out for some coffee or perhaps some lunch at a pizza place... Either one could get you the desired results...
Click to expand...

Mmmmhmmm!
So who's the lucky bad boy who will find you first? :)
 
I still can't do it. It's like the second I see her I tense up and I can feel my face turn red. Now I just kind of avoid her to save myself the embarrassment. I'm trying to find a new job because I can't take this anymore
 
I think you should take The Good Citizen's advice and stop looking at her like potential mate, because that will take a lot of pressure off of you both. It doesn't sound like you know her very well, so just make that your focus. Get to know her first so that you can see if your paralyzing infatuation is even warranted. If you do ask her for out on a date, or a lunch date, or for her phone number, do it simply as a friendly gesture, not a romantic one.

So in summary, you need to open up your lines of communication with her, and you should do that firstly by not coming on so strong.

Hope I helped.
 
Now I don't know if this is the case for you but I get the impression it might be - but I read a lot of stuff online about people worrying about talking to girls, like if you say one wrong thing she'll suddenly turn against you. It's not the case unless she's a real *****.

I know this might not be particularly easy to do but just try to remember that aside from being an awesome girl, she's also a person with thoughts and feelings and stuff who wants to socialise with people. Try to talk to her like a person rather than a bird you want to shag (or however else you want to phrase it, on the off-chance you're not living in a 1970s British sitcom).
 
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard talking to someone you like trust me. I blushed all the time and still do and I'm 29. I get into giggle fits anytime I want to say anything remotely sweet to them. Just say you'd like to talk to her. Your shy yes but trust me it'll pass. Atleast you know what will come out of it in the end instead of avoiding it. If it was me I'd want them to keep trying and let me know their interested. You never know what will come out of this. Keep your head up okay?
 

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