When life feels meaningless...

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Veruca

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I was wondering if anyone else was having the same issue and if you've found a solution, please help!

I'm 26, I've been single for a long time and I am very lonely. There's nothing wrong with me (but I'll tell you otherwise when I'm feeling depressed of course) so I don't know why men don't want anything other than friendship from me. I've been told that I'm pretty, I even get hit on sometimes eventhough it never leads to anything. I have no problem making friends but all my friendships are superficial - they couldn't care less if I vanished today so I kind of feel lonely for companionship all the same. I have a job, a loving family, etc.

And I am grateful for all I do have, so please don't take this as me whining. I try really hard to be happy, be positive, distract myself with hobbies, being healthy, volunteering, making new friends.

But at some point, it all becomes so meaningless. Do you ever feel that way? Like there's no motivation to wake up and go about your day. You just feel so insignificant. Everything you do seems so pointless. You feel like eventhough you're doing a whole bunch of stuff, like it doesn't matter if there's no one to share it with.

If any of you have figured out a way to be excited about life despite feeling lonely, please do share.
 
Veruca said:
I was wondering if anyone else was having the same issue and if you've found a solution, please help!

I'm 26, I've been single for a long time and I am very lonely. There's nothing wrong with me (but I'll tell you otherwise when I'm feeling depressed of course) so I don't know why men don't want anything other than friendship from me. I've been told that I'm pretty, I even get hit on sometimes eventhough it never leads to anything. I have no problem making friends but all my friendships are superficial - they couldn't care less if I vanished today so I kind of feel lonely for companionship all the same. I have a job, a loving family, etc.

And I am grateful for all I do have, so please don't take this as me whining. I try really hard to be happy, be positive, distract myself with hobbies, being healthy, volunteering, making new friends.

But at some point, it all becomes so meaningless. Do you ever feel that way? Like there's no motivation to wake up and go about your day. You just feel so insignificant. Everything you do seems so pointless. You feel like eventhough you're doing a whole bunch of stuff, like it doesn't matter if there's no one to share it with.

If any of you have figured out a way to be excited about life despite feeling lonely, please do share.

If you feel like everything is meaningless it's because maybe it's true.
 
Yes, I feel this way pretty much all the time. The only thing which keeps me going is the hope that one day I will find someone to share my life with. I think that all we can do is carry on with our lives and hoping that we will meet someone special, and also some new friends we can really connect with.
 
Some men just want to misuse females. They are covetous and lustful. During firstly connections they show they are very kind and sincere whereas they are cheating their victim in fact. After they attained what they want (having sex a few weeks or month ), they will kick out her and go for another victim. This is not love but unfortunately most of simple girls and women are not conscious and fall into these traps down. However, what I can recommend is that you get some honesty friends from your same gender or marry (legally) with a clean and loyal man.
 
I was just ranting about this problem to a member on here last night. It sucks and I get moments where I get low and feel like I'm just wasting time and its all for nothing. I spend the night down and wondering why no one wants to be with me romantically.

The only upside is I do have a couple of good friends and that helps a little. It still doesn't make me feel better when I am in bed wishing there was someone to share it with.
 
I always feel like it's all meaningless and there's no point to anything. The only reason I continue to exist is because I don't want to hurt my family and the possibility I might find someone special.
 
I know just how you feel man. I'm always trying to do things and thin of ways to meet people, but everything I do just doesn't seem to cut it. Get a job with fun people my age ( I'm 21 ), none of them seem to wanna know me or hang out with me outside of work. Take classes hoping to really click with someone, never happens. Try and be extremely friendly to other people at the skaterpark, still no one seems to extend a friendship more then anything casual. I've tried, but always come up short....

It's easy to start viewing life a "pointless" but at the end of the day it only digs you deeper in the hole. If you have learned to keep yourself happy with hobby's and things, that's great. you just gotta keep trying, we'll all find someone someday =).

I'm joining a soccer team in January, I can't wait.
 
We've yet to meet, and I would care if you vanished.

Sometimes in life we are what we do not think, what we have never been, and what we will never know. Simply because we acknowledge ourselves as of lesser value than would be expected in the average person, does not make us of lesser value than the average person. Our reality stems from perception, we perceive our shortcomings as great blunders which are so negative that we could not possibly imagine ourselves to be anything positive in that regard.

Our individual worlds are created by us, how our perception analyzes the world, and decides whether or not something is that, or this, or here or there, our reality is based on how we choose to see the world, happy or sad, fun or boring, long or short. But the collective world, the more or less objective reality of things, would be how the world is formed around us, the medley of consciousness of all those who surround us form a grand scale reality in which we all live within, even while we remain in our own private realities.

There are people you have met who adore you more than anything, but you never knew, don't know, and never will.

I know for certain, that I would be interested in going on a date with you, having not even met you, or seen you (as in my own personal reality vanity is irrelevant and useless). Not out of desperation mind you, I've spent a good deal of my life alone, and would enjoy the company more than most anything, but desperation doesn't become me, I don't allow it to. I simply know that humanity is beautiful beyond any words, and that more likely than not you being part of the whole, would be quite beautiful yourself.

I'm a stranger who has never met you, and I can now attest that you would receive interest from me, and can say with certainty that men who have met you before, who have had the opportunity to experience your loveliness first hand, have most definitely thought of dating you. There is shyness to factor in as well.

But my meaning is to say, that only once you accept a reality does it become true for you. Only once you tell yourself that no one wants to date you, will you be blind to all those who would like nothing more than to spend an evening in your company.
 
To Floatsamjetsam...Wow.

To Veruca....i understand and relate to what you have written and I am sorry, but I do not have a solution. I do, however, have my thoughts on this.

I share your sentiments and experiences...as I experience what you have written, on a similar level.

What I have concluded about the matter is this (and I recognize it may not be a popular or common response): I believe that we live our lives half and not whole, until we become one with that special significant other. I even believe in the statistical improbability of one soul mate. While i do believe you can create meaningful relationships and deep connections with other possible partners, I truly do believe in soul mates.

I believe that God made us that way, just as He created us to connect to Him on a spiritual self.

So what I offer to you, is my humble opinion on the matter, and that is either truly romantic and hopeful or devastatingly sad and lonely.

I've been living lonely...but still believe and hope.

While i can find people, places, things, events and activities to help me cultivate a meaningful life, i know I do not yet know home, until I find that other, with whom i can finally rest upon and settle my soul in.

that is what i suspect is the root to most loneliness --- it is that our hearts are barren of that special one.

I hope you find the one. I hope you will hope for me, that I do, too.
 
I had figured out a way of how to be happy while being alone but I lost it.

I think I embracing positivism, empathy and open-mindedness can help anyone be happy. And the courage to set yourself free. Easier said than done.
 
Yeah all the time. Lots of negative thoughts race through my head, but I try to keep positive but on depressing days I'm horrible. All I do is cry and lay in bed. Not many people believe in depression, they think others create it. Depression has been there all my life and it's hard for me to find friends for that very reason. Lots of people even stopped pming me, I just figure I'm not the person they wish to talk too. You can't just push things to happen, things should happen on their own. I just let things happen, and work themselves out. Life might be meaningless sometimes but I came this far, why give up now? Plus I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor through the hell I've been through. And if I was to end my life it would give satisfaction to the ones who have it in for me so no way! Plus I don't wanna break hearts. Especially to the ones who do appreciate me.
 
There have been plenty of times down the years where I've woken up one morning and fantasised about not getting out of bed to go to work and just lying there until I had no job and then just dealt with the consequences down the line. One way of another it would force a change. Or maybe just up and leave and start afresh somewhere new, just jack everything in and start again.

Thing is I've never been able to, I have my kids and for better or worse its kept me on this humdrum path. I wouldn’t swap them for the world but I do wonder how I'd react to having no responsibilities, no ties. I wonder if I would have done something more bold and decisive or dynamic like I used to daydream about, or maybe I would have just gone off the rails and had a miserable time of it. I suppose a more frustrated part of me has missed being allowed to be so self-indulgent but you just can't see that as an option when you have little ones to think about.

I’ve often wondered ‘what if’ but I know that having my eldest when I was barely 21 gave my life a purpose and I can’t say I have any real regrets because I’ve always been grateful he came along. It wasn’t so easy especially in my 20’s when it often bothered me, but I think I’m now in a place where I’m happy and don’t question what’s gone before.
 
Thank you everyone for your comments because despite the difference in opinions, there is the common message that "I am not alone in this" that makes me feel just a midge less lonely. My day started off really bad today, and I am so glad I read all your comments because I feel like I could've spent the rest of it being bitter and mean, only to regret it later. In fact, I was making up mind to be less nice, less kind. Now, I feel so much more peaceful...hopeful. Thank you!
 
Veruca said:
I was wondering if anyone else was having the same issue and if you've found a solution, please help!

I'm 26, I've been single for a long time and I am very lonely. There's nothing wrong with me (but I'll tell you otherwise when I'm feeling depressed of course) so I don't know why men don't want anything other than friendship from me. I've been told that I'm pretty, I even get hit on sometimes eventhough it never leads to anything. I have no problem making friends but all my friendships are superficial - they couldn't care less if I vanished today so I kind of feel lonely for companionship all the same. I have a job, a loving family, etc.

And I am grateful for all I do have, so please don't take this as me whining. I try really hard to be happy, be positive, distract myself with hobbies, being healthy, volunteering, making new friends.

But at some point, it all becomes so meaningless. Do you ever feel that way? Like there's no motivation to wake up and go about your day. You just feel so insignificant. Everything you do seems so pointless. You feel like eventhough you're doing a whole bunch of stuff, like it doesn't matter if there's no one to share it with.

If any of you have figured out a way to be excited about life despite feeling lonely, please do share.




i feel same way ur lucky u can make friends i been going to theatre and eating alone most of my day right now i been thinking hard about whats point of living or why are we here to go to college get career have nice job get house and retire or to some it up get $$$ which to me sounds like nothing i want to do at all with my life i'm 22 and i know i'm never going to college its not for me so right now i'm stuck and the only solution i found is playing video games or watch whole season of tv show as a distraction from life
 
It took me 22 years to find a few friendships which weren't superficial so I can relate to that feeling.
From my own experience I can only say to focus your strength on patience and try find calmness in it. I often catch myself with pessimistic thoughts I pass off to myself as being realistic. I have a feeling we here all do this as hoping for something good is setting self for a lot of disappointment. The patience is something that I have found to be most helpful with being lonely, not hoping for great things right away... just calmly being patient and focusing on the now.
 

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