First time out to a club soon

Tealeaf · Nov 30, 2012

One of my old friends from middle school has grown into a frequent club patron and has finally after all these years decided she loves video games, so she found a place that combines the two called Insert Coins.

She wants to take me there next week and this would be my first time out to a club. I've always had a lot of anxiety when it comes to meeting new people and socializing in crowds, so I've avoided it where I can except for a few concerts I really wanted to see. I tend to freeze up and fumble if someone surprises me, though I've been told I don't seem nearly as stressed out as I feel.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm kind of clueless as to how people socialize in places like these where it's presumably hard to hear each other. It doesn't seem like a gross hookup joint at least, which is nice.

perfanoff · Nov 30, 2012

You socialize using the body language. Lol
Talking needs to be done from so close that you can feel each other's breath on your necks. I think the loud music is made exactly so you CAN'T be comfortable just talking to each other and so you can get physical easier with other people.. So you either embrace it or you dance around and kick off people who try to talk to your neck. Your choice.

Tealeaf · Nov 30, 2012

perfanoff said:
You socialize using the body language. Lol
Talking needs to be done from so close that you can feel each other's breath on your necks. I think the loud music is made exactly so you CAN'T be comfortable just talking to each other and so you can get physical easier with other people.. So you either embrace it or you dance around and kick off people who try to talk to your neck. Your choice.

Getting physical with strangers sounds gross as fresia (and has since day one... still waiting to "normalize"). Supposedly there's an area away from the dancing for socializing, though (see: a bunch of old arcade games and stuff).

The Good Citizen · Nov 30, 2012

If you've been to a concert and had to talk over the noise its not so different, just embrace it as something new. To be honest by the time I get to a club I'm normally drunk and either dancing or wandering about people watcing talking to random stranger. Not been in a few years though, think those days are finally over!

Edit: what am I on about, I'm going on a works night out tonight and will probably be dragged to one. Sigh, think I might try and slip off early.

JasonM · Nov 30, 2012

Tealeaf said:
She wants to take me there next week and this would be my first time out to a club. I've always had a lot of anxiety when it comes to meeting new people and socializing in crowds, so I've avoided it where I can except for a few concerts I really wanted to see.

I grew up on the nyc club scene and am generally not comfortable around people. My advice, don't make it so much about socializing if that is where your anxiety lays. It's easy to get lost in the music and just forget everyone else is there. If someone does talk to you go with it or don't, see how you feel. After all the music tends to be so loud in clubs that you really can't have a conversation anyway. It is nice to just dance with someone without having to talk as well.

Badjedidude · Nov 30, 2012

Clubs are overrated.

Noisy, expensive, crowded, and full of stupid ******* idiots.

Not worth the time or effort, IMHO.

You won't want a club skank anyway, if you're going to find women.

monkeysocks · Nov 30, 2012

I think a club that combines videos games is a great idea and will take a lot of the tension out of your evening once you get there.

Also If there are games that require dual participation then they are a great way to interact with new people without awkwardness. Good conversation breakers.

Please tell us how you get on.

Badjedidude · Nov 30, 2012

^^^Well, honeysuckle.

I didn't really read.

IT HAS VIDEO GAMES????

Count me in.

Iceman1978 · Nov 30, 2012

I went to a club once. I was with some friends of mine and they kept pressuring me to ask all these different women to dance. After about an hour of that I was so upset that I left and went home.

monkeysocks · Nov 30, 2012

Clubs can be very intimidating, some more than others. Thats why I think the game/club is a great idea.

Veruca · Nov 30, 2012

I think a club with a game theme is less likely to create awkward social situations than a regular club. I reckon it would be easier to talk to strangers because you're not asking for a dance, just a game. Don't overthink what will or won't happen, just go and have a good time! And remember, if you freeze up, chances are you'll never see them again lol!

Hope you have a wonderful time!

HumanZ · Dec 1, 2012

Badjedidude said:
Clubs are overrated.

Noisy, expensive, crowded, and full of stupid ******* idiots.

Not worth the time or effort, IMHO.

You won't want a club skank anyway, if you're going to find women.

Totally agree.

The Good Citizen · Dec 1, 2012

I don't think going to a club makes a woman a skank now does it, I've met some thouroughly nice people out clubbing! In fairness I used to go out for a cigarette and spend most of the evening chatting outside to random people.

So how did you get on at the club then? Did you have a good night? I was supposed to go to one last night but ducked out and got the last train home, my head feels much better for the decision this morning.

TheSolitaryMan · Dec 1, 2012

Badjedidude said:
Clubs are overrated. Noisy, expensive, crowded, and full of stupid ******* idiots.

Not worth the time or effort, IMHO. You won't want a club skank anyway, if you're going to find women.

This seems so true. I don't want to hate on them totally, but here's my experience: I've been out to a couple of clubs once. In that evening I had 3 brainless morons try to start a fight with me for absolutely no reason.

I'm a non-confrontational person - I can only presume that since they possessed a collective intelligence lower than your average amoeba the pathetic hard man act is the highlight of their existence.

When it wasn't lanky twits trying to provoke me into knocking their teeth out it was ear-splittingly loud dub-dub-dubstep of banal quality.

When I went to dance I ended up alongside this a plump girl who was absolutely caked in make-up and wearing a tiny mini-skirt. She had huge fake boobs. She spent the next ten minutes basically following me around "accidentally" grinding her rear end into my back. It's not like she wasn't pretty in a way, she was just so...desperate? In appearance and her actions.

I then sat down, and had a drunk young woman start talking to me in really crude terms that made me feel outright uncomfortable. The whole club also smelled of vomit.

So perhaps I just had a bad evening, but frankly I have no further inclination to go to clubs. Perhaps a special fancy dress evening at a "decent" establishment would be nice, as opposed to a place where the women look like they're dressing to go on sale at the deli counter and the guys talk faux-ghetto at each other.

Sterling · Dec 2, 2012

Personally, I love going out to bars, music halls, clubs, etc. I guess they're not for everyone. Not all girls there are skanks nor are all men there horndogs lol, just certain ones.

duff · Dec 2, 2012

TheSolitaryMan said:
Badjedidude said:

Clubs are overrated. Noisy, expensive, crowded, and full of stupid ******* idiots.

Not worth the time or effort, IMHO. You won't want a club skank anyway, if you're going to find women.

Click to expand...

This seems so true. I don't want to hate on them totally, but here's my experience: I've been out to a couple of clubs once. In that evening I had 3 brainless morons try to start a fight with me for absolutely no reason.

I'm a non-confrontational person - I can only presume that since they possessed a collective intelligence lower than your average amoeba the pathetic hard man act is the highlight of their existence.

When it wasn't lanky twits trying to provoke me into knocking their teeth out it was ear-splittingly loud dub-dub-dubstep of banal quality.

When I went to dance I ended up alongside this a plump girl who was absolutely caked in make-up and wearing a tiny mini-skirt. She had huge fake boobs. She spent the next ten minutes basically following me around "accidentally" grinding her rear end into my back. It's not like she wasn't pretty in a way, she was just so...desperate? In appearance and her actions.

I then sat down, and had a drunk young woman start talking to me in really crude terms that made me feel outright uncomfortable. The whole club also smelled of vomit.

So perhaps I just had a bad evening, but frankly I have no further inclination to go to clubs. Perhaps a special fancy dress evening at a "decent" establishment would be nice, as opposed to a place where the women look like they're dressing to go on sale at the deli counter and the guys talk faux-ghetto at each other.

the plump girl might have been nice once she was away from the club.
a wasted opportunity !

TheSolitaryMan · Dec 2, 2012

duff said:
the plump girl might have been nice once she was away from the club.
a wasted opportunity !

Meh, maybe? I don't regret keeping to myself that night.

I mean, she was pretty enough (if immodest mini-skirts and unnaturally weighty cleavage is your kinda thing), but I just didn't like the whole atmosphere at the club at all. It encourages a "sleep with anything" mentality that was very evident in the mindset of the patrons.

I'm sure if I'd been there for that sort of thing I could have left with her perhaps, but I really wouldn't have been comfortable with that.

duff · Dec 2, 2012

TheSolitaryMan said:
duff said:

the plump girl might have been nice once she was away from the club.
a wasted opportunity !

Click to expand...

Meh, maybe? I don't regret keeping to myself that night.

I mean, she was pretty enough (if immodest mini-skirts and unnaturally weighty cleavage is your kinda thing), but I just didn't like the whole atmosphere at the club at all. It encourages a "sleep with anything" mentality that was very evident in the mindset of the patrons.

I'm sure if I'd been there for that sort of thing I could have left with her perhaps, but I really wouldn't have been comfortable with that.

i see your point but then again you can't say 'women aren't interested in you' -(im not sure you say this I'm new here !)

Ive never had anything like that happen to me in a nighclub. I used to go occasionally in my late teens and mid 20's. I just walked around, no woman noticed me. Sometimes I got drunk enough to ask a few for a dance, they all said 'no'

I sometimes think I am on the lowest rung of the ladder when it comes to attractiveness. Ive had a few dances with say women from work who already know me but never had a stranger come and talk to me.

ajdass1 · Dec 2, 2012

Well tealeaf that does sound like an interesting club variation. I'm just worried that it might be full of the kind of misogynistic gamer dudes that are a dime a dozen on the interwebs, looking for gamer girls. But be sure to let us know how it goes!

Tealeaf · Dec 2, 2012

We're going this week. My friend has been out of town for a few days, so I'm just thinking ahead. I trust her taste in clubs so it's unlikely I'll be dragged anywhere full of attempted fistfights and vomit.

Veruca said:
I think a club with a game theme is less likely to create awkward social situations than a regular club. I reckon it would be easier to talk to strangers because you're not asking for a dance, just a game. Don't overthink what will or won't happen, just go and have a good time! And remember, if you freeze up, chances are you'll never see them again lol!

Hope you have a wonderful time!

It's probably not good for me to ever touch Pacman again. The movie theater where my friend used to work had a machine that was pretty much my *****.

ajdass1 said:
Well tealeaf that does sound like an interesting club variation. I'm just worried that it might be full of the kind of misogynistic gamer dudes that are a dime a dozen on the interwebs, looking for gamer girls. But be sure to let us know how it goes!

If it is, I'll just play games and chat with my friend and anyone else she brings with all night. I plan to primarily do that, anyway. After reading such bile online every day I'm not really interested in taking any numbers away from the club (or letting them take mine). The engine's just not going to start at this point.

First time out to a club soon

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