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9006

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Hi there.

I have a friend who is suffering from depression, she's suffered from it in the past and now it's come back.

We've been friends for around 5 years now, I knew something was up because she would fail to meet up or not respond to text etc... I was going through some things myself so we didn't speak for a few months.

She's now admitted that she's been suffering again and I want to be there for her and help out as much as I can, but it's easier said than done. It's difficult because we never meet up anymore, we were supposed to the other day but it turned out to be another fail, she says she wants to meet up but doesn't want me to see "how much of a mess" she's in (Quote her actual words, not me being sarcastic).

We text mainly now, although sometimes she doesn't respond, and I don't know weather to leave her alone or text again, but if I leave her alone I don't think she would text, which makes me feel like she doesn't want me hastling her. I text every so often asking how she and tell her I'm thinking of her; I do miss her too.

I understand this is a mental issue and that it's not easy to deal with, I'm just wondering what the best approach is to try and help her feel better, or even get over it. She's now on medication and goes the doctors regularly for check-ups. I just don't want to put pressure on her that'll make it worse, but at the same time not neglect her, again, making her feel worse.

What do you think?
 
I think you should hang in there for her, maybe try emailing? Texting can be so limiting sometimes, try and get her to open up a bit more about what she is going through. You can't force her to come out of course and I suppose the challenge is to let her believe that you're not there to judge her, regardless of how mixed up she is, just that you want to help and offer her a little light at the end of the tunnel.

With depression you can be up and down and its likely getting her to meet up will be dependent on how she is feeling. At least with an email, its sent and its there to reply to when she is feeling up to it and open to communicating and perhaps you can go from there.
 
I think that it is best to carry on sending her texts every so often, without expecting an answer. When I am very depressed, I can't face dealing with people and would find meetings and phone calls too much to handle, but the occasional text would be ok as it would not make me feel overwhelmed and it would show me that someone was caring enough about me to keep in touch without crowding me out. I would also appreciate not having to answer if I didn't feel up to it. I think that you are being a very good friend.
 
ya, carry on and ignore the silence. dont be pushy, just try to be supportive.
it may not make any difference to her at the moment, but it will once she begins to come out of it. it can mean alot to someone to know that someone out there is on there side and cares.
 
Hey.

Thanks for your responses, ironically she responded to my text minutes before I logged in here. I'm thinking what Tiina63I said about how she couldn't face dealing with people, so I figure she'll reply when ready.

I've already told her that I'll be here for her, so it wont be something i'll be going back on. We've been good mates for years, it's such a shame she feels this way.

It's also a shame that she feels it's bad enough to start with medication, I've never been a fan of anti-depressants, I think they can be bad news in some cases, hopefully they're temporary.
 
So great to hear from people like yourself who don't give up easily on their friends. Much like what everyone has said here, its really tough to face people when depressed. I sometimes switch off my phone and completely cut all ties with everyone I know. Just hang in there and do what you're doing :). Even if she doesn't say it out loud, I am sure she appreciates your support.

You're awesome!
 

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